A second chance?
Chapter 6: I love you, dad
Chris and Leo were both in the attic. Leo was putting candles on the floor, while Chris looked through the book of shadows to come up with a spell. He was still not sure if this was a good idea. He started to believe that the past version of his father loved him, but when his real father would show up now Chris was sure that he would prove him from the opposite. Was he really able to handle this? The answer was clear. No, he wasn't. But he hadn't got choice growing up either. He had had to deal with his father hating him and somehow he would also find a way to deal with it this time. At least he hoped so.
Leo was totally anxious. He too suddenly considered that this wasn't such a good idea after all. He had the feeling that his relationship with his son was getting better, but if his future self would come and do something harsh he could destroy everything. But he needed to know what had happened in Chris' timeline. He would never be able to forget about it. Leo ignited the last candle and walked over to his son.
"Did you find something?" he asked, a small part of him still wishing that he hadn't.
Chris nodded. "Yeah, I've changed the spell to summon a spirit. We can do it now, if you want."
Leo hesitated a second. Now he still had the chance to say no. But when he looked at his son a sudden determination came over him. He couldn't let everything repeat itself. "Let's do it" he finally answered.
Chris sighed, before he started to say the spell.
"Hear these words, hear my cry,
father from another time.
Come to me, I summon thee,
to let me understand your crime."
A swirl of white lights appeared in the middle of the candles and a second later Future Leo appeared. Chris and Past Leo were equally shocked when they saw that he was transparent.
"I thought I'm still alive in your time" Past Leo said while he watched how his future self looked at them confused.
"I thought that too" Chris answered, staring at his father's transparent body.
Suddenly Future Leo seemed to understand what was going on, because the look of confusion left his face and was replaced with a deep rooted pain. He wanted to step out of the circle of candles but it seemed like he was being held back by something. Anger crossed his face and he looked up at ceiling before he shouted "You owe me! You owe my son!" Then he tried again to leave the circle and this time he could step out of it and his body became solid. For a moment he just stood there, staring at Chris with tears in his eyes. There he was, his baby boy, all grown up and risking everything to save his brother. Future Leo had never felt so much pride and pain than in that moment. Pride, because his son was such an amazing and strong person, and pain, because he had never been able to show Chris how much he meant to him. But now he could and he wouldn't waste this opportunity. With a few steps he had crossed the distance between them and hugged his son tightly. It was the first time since Chris had been a new born that he was holding his younger son in his arms.
Chris was more than just surprised when his father wrapped his arms around him. He had expected everything from him, but not this. He couldn't understand what was going on. Why was Future Leo dead? And why was he hugging him so tightly that Chris almost couldn't breathe? Chris had never been so confused and it only became worse when he heard his father sob and felt tears soaking through his shirt. Why was he crying?
Past Leo however was relieved. His future self did seem to love and care about his son. He had feared that Future Leo would say and do things that would hurt Chris, but now he was crying his heart out on his son's shoulder. That immediately caused Past Leo to think about what had happened. If his future self loved Chris so much, then why hadn't he been there for him? Why had he never hugged him and gave him instead the feeling that he hated him?
Future Leo held onto his son as if letting go would mean loosing him forever. But he didn't have another choice than to let go when Chris suddenly pulled away from him. He looked at his son and could see the same pain in his eyes he had been forced to see all his life there. The pain he had caused his own son. He wanted to reach out and hug Chris again, tell him that he loved him, that he was so sorry for what happened and that he had never wanted to hurt him… But he knew that Chris would push him away again and he had every right to do it. He swallowed hard before he finally found the courage to speak. "Chris…" He was once again overwhelmed with tears. "My little boy…"
Chris fought hard against his own tears. Why was his father doing this? He couldn't fall for Future Leo's phony attempt to act like he gives a damn. Because he didn't. Chris knew it. 23 years of neglect had proven it. "What the hell do you want?" he snapped, forgetting for a second that he was the one who had summoned his father.
"Chris, please, believe me. I never wanted to hurt you" Future Leo pleaded sadly at his son's outburst.
"Sure daddy. Come on over and give me another hug" Chris snorted sarcastically. As long as he didn't show his father how hurt he really was, everything was fine. He had to keep control.
"Chris…" Future Leo choked out heartbroken. He knew that his son was just trying to protect himself from getting hurt again, but now that he was finally able to hug Chris and show him how much he really did love him, he was devastated about his behaviour. He dropped to his knees and began to cry uncontrollable, unable to hold everything in any longer.
Chris was only more infuriated at this. How dare his father to cry like this? He wasn't the one who had grown up without a dad. He wasn't the one who had seen his own father chose his brother over him all the time. He didn't have a single reason to cry like this. "What's wrong with you?" he exclaimed angrily. "You wanna play the caring father? Is that what this is about? Well, newsflash for you, I don't…"
"Chris, stop it" Past Leo interrupted his son's rant suddenly. He had stayed quiet until now, mostly because he had been stunned at his future self's behaviour, but now he had to stop Chris. His future self's sobs became harder with every word that left his son's mouth.
Chris turned to the past version of his father, still with anger written all over his face. "It had been so clear that you would take his side! I thought you're doing this for me and now you're defending him?"
"I'm not" Past Leo contradicted. "I just want some answers and yelling at him won't help."
"I think it will help a lot!" Chris snapped and wanted to turn back to Future Leo, but Past Leo spoke before he got the chance to yell at him more.
"What happened?" Past Leo asked his future self. "Why were you never there for Chris?"
Future Leo continued to sob for a few seconds before he finally looked up at his son again. He could see that he was angry, but he could also see the pain on his face. But maybe now he had the chance to make it right. Finally he had the chance to explain. He stood up from the floor and wiped away his tears before he suggested "Why don't we sit down? This could take a while."
"You want me to have a nice little chat with you?" Chris immediately snapped again. "After everything that happened you just want to sit down and talk?"
"Chris, back off. That's the reason why we summoned him, remember?" Past Leo said calmly and sat down on the couch. Then he motioned for his son to do the same. Reluctantly Chris sat down beside him and continued to glare at his father from the future.
Future Leo sat in front of them on a chair and took a deep breath before he started to speak. "First I have a question. Did you already kill Gideon?"
"Yes, I did" Past Leo answered, still satisfied that he had killed that bastard.
Future Leo let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god. Then Wyatt is save and…"
"What? You knew about it?" Chris yelled in disbelief.
"No, at least not until I died and your mother told me about it" Future Leo answered, again with tears in his eyes when he thought of his beautiful wife. She had never made him responsible for what had happened between him and Chris and for that he was really grateful. She had tried to help him as much as she could and comforted him when he had thought he couldn't bear it anymore.
"Mom? She… you saw her?" Chris' voice was suddenly hoarse and low.
Future Leo nodded sadly. "Yes and she's so proud of you, son. We both are."
Chris' expression became hard once again when he heard this. He wouldn't let his father fool him. He didn't know what the hell was happening here, but he was determined not to give Future Leo the satisfaction to know how much he had hurt him. But when he looked at his father he immediately doubted that it would give him the feeling of satisfaction if he would know. Chris had never seen his father like this. Actually he had barely ever seen him, but that wasn't the point right now. He just couldn't understand why Future Leo was so – heartbroken. That was the right word. But why?
"Wait, Piper… she's dead?" Past Leo asked horrified. He looked back and forth between his son and his future self and didn't even need an answer. The sad and dejected faces from them said everything. "How?" he asked, still not able to believe it. Piper… She was the love of his life, his soul mate… he couldn't loose her.
"We can't tell you" Chris answered immediately and shot a warning look at Future Leo.
"Chris is right" he agreed.
"But…" Past Leo tried it again.
"No. I can't, okay?" Chris cut him off, the tears threatening to fall when he remembered his mom's death. But he wouldn't cry in front of his father.
Past Leo seemed to want to ask again, but then he remembered that this wasn't the reason why they were here. Right now he had to focus on his son, so that he could spare him the pain he had to go through in the future. "Okay, so back to the point." He turned to his future self. "So you know that it was Gideon who was after Wyatt?"
Future Leo nodded. "Yes, I know. And… he was also the one who kept me away from you Chris" he answered, looking into his son's eyes, searching for any sign that he believed him.
"That's the best excuse you have?" Chris asked condescending. "You could always visit Wyatt, right?"
"Chris, you don't understand" Future Leo tried to explain.
"You're damn right! I don't!" Chris exclaimed angrily.
"Then let me explain" Future Leo pleaded sadly. "You can do whatever you want when I'm finished, but please give me a chance to explain."
Past Leo also gave his son a pleading look and Chris nodded. "Fine, go on. But make it quick, I want to visit mom in the hospital."
"Hospital?" Future Leo asked with a frown.
"She's in labour with Chris" Past Leo answered.
"Would you please hurry now?" Chris asked impatiently.
Future Leo nodded and sighed. "It all began three days after you were born" he finally started to explain. "Gideon had just kidnapped Wyatt and we were all searching for him. Of course we didn't know that it was him back then, so we thought that you would be save in magic school until it was over. Piper was of course against it that you should stay there alone and I totally agreed with her. I mean, you were just three days old. So we made it that one of us was always staying with you while the others were searching for your brother. Almost a month later we were able to sense Wyatt in the underworld. We figured that there had to be a lot of demons who were keeping him there so we all went down to get him. We left you alone with Mrs. Winterbourne and there was no day in the next 23 years I didn't regret this decision." Future Leo had to stop for a few seconds to fight back the tears that came to his eyes once again when he remembered these events. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, before he continued. "We could save Wyatt and immediately left to get you from magic school so that we could all go home. It was a huge shock for all of us when we found out that you weren't there. Piper almost broke down completely. I quickly orbed her home so that she could get some rest and to our great surprise we found you there in your crib. Piper immediately picked you up and she seemed like she never wanted to let you go. I also wanted to hold you, but then…" Future Leo sobbed heavily. This was all too much. He knew that everything had changed now that Gideon was dead, but it was so hard to remember.
"What happened then?" Past Leo asked softly. He had listened carefully to his future self and he had never been gladder that his son had come back here to save his brother than in this moment. He was relieved that he would never have to go through that what his other self had just told them.
Chris was so confused. For the first time in his entire life he felt sorry for his father. He looked so broken and lost. What he had just told them was horrible, yes, but it didn't explain everything. His dad seemed to love him so much, but why did he act like he never existed then? Now he wanted, no he needed to understand. "Dad, what happened?" he repeated Past Leo's question, his voice for the first time gentle while talking to Future Leo.
That and hearing his son calling him dad seemed to snap Future Leo out of his break down. He choked back even more tears and looked at Chris with painful eyes. "Piper gave you over… she gave you over to me. You started to cry suddenly and I – I tried to calm you down and hold you even tighter. It was then that your cries became louder and I quickly held you away from me so – so that I could take a look at you and see if you were hurt." Future Leo let out another sob, before he continued. "You – you had burns over your whole body… they weren't there before… I – I laid you down on the bed and healed you, but – but when I touched you… Every time I touched you, you would get new burns…"
Past Leo was even more horrified at this piece of information than about Piper's death. "Why?" he asked while he was now also choking back tears.
Chris just stared at Future Leo. Was what he told them really the truth? It had to be. Looking at his father's tearstained face he knew that it had to be true. But why?
"Gideon…" Future Leo answered with pure hatred and loathing in his voice. When Piper had told him about what his old mentor had done he had wanted to kill him on the spot, but considering that he had been already dead he couldn't do anything anymore. But he was satisfied that this bastard was now dead before he could even do any harm.
"What did he do?" Chris asked, his voice trembling from holding back tears of his own. But he still didn't allow himself to cry in front of his dad.
"He cast a spell" Future Leo answered now again full of pain. "He – the spell should keep me away from you. Every time I touched you, you got burns and – and I didn't want to hurt you. I had to stay away from you! Don't you understand? I had to do it so that you wouldn't die because of me!"
Chris tried hard to stay calm, but it was so hard. He had never felt so much different emotions in one moment. He was still angry and hurt about his father's neglect, even though he now knew that Leo had just done what had been necessary to keep him save. And he felt so sorry for the heartbroken man in front of him, his dad… He loved him; he had always done it, no matter how hard he had tried to convince himself from the opposite. "If it was really a spell, then why did you never tell me?" he asked, while he tried to get his emotions in check. "Why did you let me think that you hate me, huh?"
"I told you, Chris" Future Leo answered sadly. "Piper and I told you so many times, but every time we did it, the next morning you would wake up and don't remember it. You would always come to me and try to hug me or just touch me accidentally… And then you – I had to stop this! I had to go away. I couldn't hurt you. I know that staying away from you did hurt you – emotionally, but I couldn't risk it that I would one day probably kill you…"
"Why didn't Chris remember when you told him?" Past Leo asked, while he looked worriedly over to his son. Chris seemed to be lost in his own world suddenly. He stared down at his hands with tears in his eyes, not moving or reacting at all.
"Gideon let him forget every time" Future Leo answered. He then also noticed his son's lost look and quickly knelt down in front of him. He took his son's hands in his own. "Chris? It's over now. Nothing of this will happen again" he said soothingly.
Past Leo looked at his future self confused. "Wait, why can you touch him now?"
"Because I'm dead. The spell wore off when I died" Future Leo answered, not really paying attention to his past self. He was too worried about his son. "Chris, please say something" he pleaded desperately.
Chris continued to look down at his hands, which were now lying in his father's, and then he spoke a single word "Why?"
Future Leo lifted one of his hands and touched his son's cheek, overwhelmed with tears once again. Staying away from his son his whole life, watching him grow up from up there and not able to be with and help him when he needed him had been almost too much for him to bear. The sisters had never been able to reserve the spell though they had tried it countless times. He was so glad that he could now touch his little boy without hurting him anymore. "I don't know" he finally answered his son's question. "Maybe Gideon just wanted to punish me for having children or he wanted to – to kill you too. I honestly don't know, but it doesn't matter anymore, Chris. I'm here now and everything's going to be fine, okay?"
Chris finally looked up at him, now crying slightly. He then couldn't stop himself from hugging his father. He was there… and everything would be fine now… His dad had never left him because he wanted it, but because he had wanted to protect him. He had always loved him… "Dad…" he sobbed while held onto his father like his life would depend on it.
"I'm here, Chris. I'm here" Future Leo whispered soothingly and stroked through his son's hair. "I was always watching over you… Every night I was watching you sleep. It was the only time I could be in your nearness without risking that you would touch me somehow… I saw you growing up and there was no day I didn't wish that I could be there for you. I know that you needed me so many times in your life and it broke my heart to see you hurt because of me… but I just wanted to protect you…"
"I know, dad" Chris whispered back, still clutching his father tightly. "I – I missed you…"
"I missed you too, buddy" Future Leo said, also not wanting to let go. "I was so scared when you just disappeared a year ago. I really wish that I could have been there for you…"
Past Leo watched them, now hundred percent sure that this had been a good idea. He was so glad that he found out that he wasn't a bad father after all. Truth be told, Leo hadn't been able to believe it for one second that he would leave his son alone like this. And now he had the proof that he had been right. He wanted to hug his son too, but he knew that now his future self needed to hold him. He could easily understand it. Only the thought of not being able to hold his son in his arms because he would get burns if he touched him was horrifying. He couldn't even start to imagine how much it had hurt both his future self and his son to live under such circumstances.
Future Leo was so happy like never before in his entire life. He could finally hold his baby boy in his arms without causing him pain. The last 23 years had been a living hell for him. He had been so excited and full of joy when his second son had been born. In the moment he had held his son in his arms for the first time, he had promised himself that he would always be there for him. Gideon's spell was the cruellest punishment he could have ever imagined. And the worst part was that it had also hurt his precious son. "I love you so much, Chris. You have to believe me…" he begged, his son's words from earlier haunting him. Why did you let me think that you hate me, huh?
"I believe you" Chris immediately said while he snuggled into his father's chest. He had never felt so save than in this moment. The future was save and his dad was here and told him that he loved him… everything was perfect. "I love you too, dad."
The End
Authors Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I'm really happy about it. I know the spell sucks, but I couldn't come up with another, so be nice when you review this chappie. I just hope that you all like the ending!