Random: HIIII! Sorry it took me soooooooooo LONG! Please forgive me! And send cookies!

Kai: My cookies...

Random: but..but I LIKE cooooookkkkkiiiiesssss

Kai: Tough luck, woman, they are MINE!

Random: No fair...

Pun kie: You two are acting like morons...

Kai: Punkie, you can bbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppp

Random: KAI! Don't be so vulgar.

Kai: but I all said was "beep", you know, the sound that chickens make? I like chickens.

Punkie: Good Lord...

Random: Fine, no cookies for Punkie!

Kai: Ha ha, no cookie for Punkie!

Random: Okay, peeps. I have been incredibly busy. I'm sorry for the late, late, late, late, late, late, late,late, late, late, late, LATEupdateness. Please forgive a poor authoress because she has friends like Punkie and Kai. thay are very distracting. Except Kai. She was very much all like "Get your butt in gear,WOMAN!

Kai: I so was. And she finally listened. 'Bout time.

Last Chappie:

"C'mon, Kurama, we can't! You and I both know its too dangerous!"

"What?" Botan asked again.

"I know," Kurama replied simply to Yusuke.

"What!" all three girls shrieked.

Kurama turned to them, hands in his pockets and a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"We have to get Hiei."

Chap. 13

" I told you not to tell me," Yusuke groaned two hours later.

"How can one fire demon be so hard to find? He doesn't even begin to blend in!" Botan shrieked, poking at a bush with her oar.

"No kidding!" exclaimed Yukina, checking a tree.

Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Botan, Keiko, and Yukina were all about the city, in search of Hiei. Kurama and Kuwa came jogging up, panting.

"Could he be with Mukuro?" Kuwa asked, actually managing an intelligent question for once.

" 'Fraid not," Botan shook her head, "I already checked with her, she hasn't seen him in quite some time. Wasn't very happy about it either."

"Wait a minute," said Keiko, brushing herself off, "Botan, don't you have a Finder's mirror?"

"Eh? A wha…….oh. Oooooohhhh. Yeah…"

All of them glared at her. She sweat dropped and backed away, searching in her bag for her mirror.

"Heehee……." Botan dug her Finder's mirror out of her pack quickly and ordered it to locate Hiei.

"Well, where if he?" Yusuke asked anxiously.

"Well…" Botan started slowly, staring at the sight in the mirror, "he's in a…bar!"

"Oh no!" moaned Kurama, " Not again!"

Meanwhile

"Oooooo," groaned Mariko, opening her eyes groggily, "What happened? Where am I? Why can't I move my arms?"

She looked down at her wrists. They were shackled together and chained to the stonewall. She sighed and tugged on them, only to have a short electric burst run through them into her body.

"Great," she muttered, feeling the headache coming on, "Human proof, spirit proof, and demon proof!"

Grimacing, she looked up around her surroundings. Dripping stone ceiling. Moldy stonewalls. Dirt floor. Wonderful.

"Must be in a basement dungeon," she thought, "How cliché. Why's it always a dungeon? That is so old."

She looked to the bars of her old-fashioned prison. A single demon sat in a chair across the room, asleep with a set of keys in his hand. Mariko pulled her chains again, with the same result as before, trying to get closer to the bars. The guard-demon (A/N: Guard dog? Maybe? Heehee!) started, peering into Mariko's prison as if only just realizing that she was there. Adjusting her line of vision, Mariko could see he was dressed in black and was more human looking than demon looking, but the aura was most definitely demon. (A/N: sounds like someone, doesn't it? Do you get it? NO? Wow, you're not very bright…. don't throw things at me!) He smirked at her, his longish black hair obscuring his eyes.

"Ain'tcha a little young for Taru's tastes?" he cackled, "Or is there a lot more to you than there seems?"

He stood, swaggering up to the bars and sticking an arm through. He grabbed Mariko's chin, making her turn her head to face him. She glared at him coldly.

"Yer a purty 'un," he drawled again, licking at his bloodstained teeth, "Watcha say you and me have a little fun, doll?"

"Hands off, Dix," a harsh voice said from the stairs, "She's not a regular prisoner."

"Sorry, sir," the demon named Dix skulked away.

Mariko fought down the urge to gag. She looked up to see Taru standing on the stairs, staring Dix down. Dix slouched back into his chair, glaring at Mariko as if it was her fault he was in trouble. Taru glided up to the bars, coolly looking at Mariko.

"So good to see you up, my dear," he said smoothly, "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, wonderful," spat Mariko sarcastically, "I'm having a wonderful time being chained to a wall!"

"So hostile, Mariko, so hostile," chided Taru with a crocodile smile, "but precautions had to be taken. Couldn't have you setting the whole castle on fire, now could we?"

"Fine by me!"

"Tsk, tsk, so violent!"

"What is it you really want?" growled Mariko, "You can't just want me."

"Can't I?"

Taru held her chin as Dix had, his eyes boring into her. Mariko whipped away and spat on the ground at Taru's feet. His falsely pleasant face turned dark.

"Fine," he said icily, throwing Mariko to the ground through the bars, "Fine, you little fool! Stay here and rot!"

Mariko stood, not facing him or answering. Taru ground his pointed teeth together in rage, slamming his thumb into a button on the wall. Mariko screamed in agony as a sharp, electrical burst fired its way through her body. He continued until she collapsed on the ground. He watched her squirm a moment before he held the button in again, sending one huge shock through her. She screamed again, writhing in pain.

"Yes, you little witch," he shouted over her screams, obviously enjoying her pain, "Scream! Scream for help! No one will come! I will get what I want!"

He started up the stairs, leaving Dix eyeing her. Suddenly he whirled around, pointing at the gruesome demon.

"Keep your hands off, Dix," he snarled, "And I want her in chains and up in the lab in ten minutes, got it?"

Dix nodded and Taru left. Dix opened the prison and kicked Mariko in the side.

"You heard 'im, girly! Up!" she dragged her to her feet, "Lord knows what yer in for, but you better cooperate or I'll slice ya right her, no matter what Boss says!"

With the Gang

"You're serious?" Yusuke was saying, "He's in this bar?"

"Uh-huh" Botan sighed.

"Kurama, why did you say 'not again'?" Yusuke asked tentatively.

"Well, he's gotten drunk once before and it's not a pretty sight."

"Does he get violent?"

"Can he get any more violenter?" Kuwabara grumbled.

"Geez, even I know that's bad grammar," Yusuke smirked.

"Gram-what?"

"No, he doesn't get violent," Kurama cut them off, opening the bar door and immediately spotting Hiei, "He gets…like that…"

Kurama pointed to the bar stools as everyone trooped inside. Hiei sat, surrounded by empty glasses with his head on the table and another cup in his hand. They slowly approached him, sitting on all the other barstools.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy, guyths…." Hiei saw them, "Waths up……."

"Good heavens, Hiei, how many have you had?"

"Only twoths….." Hiei swayed on the seat, holding up four fingers.

"Aye, man," the bartender walked up, "He's 'ad 'bout fifteen glasses of plain water and two shots of Everclear."

"Everclear!" Yusuke gasped.

"Wait. What's Everclear?" Keiko asked.

"It's the hardest, strongest stuff made? And he's had two, you say?" he directed the last statement to the bartender.

"Aye. Most blokes go nighty-night after 'bout three sips, but this 'un put away two with no effects a'tall. He threatened me earlier, but I won't give 'im no more. Been givin' 'im water ever since. Ya'll friends of 'im?"

"Yes," Kurama answered, "We'll be taking him home now, if you don't mind."

"Aye, I don't mind a'tall, but someun's gotta pay. These drinks 'ere don't come cheap."

"Ah, well, yes," Kurama sighed, setting down his credit card.

The bartender took it and Kurama turned around to tell everyone what was on his mind.

"Just so you all know, water affects him as alcohol does everyone else because he's a fire apparition. So he's had water and alcohol, so everyone be on guard. You can never tell what he'll do when he's like this."

Kurama then turned to Hiei, trying to coax him up. He only shook his head violently, wavering on his stool. Then, as Kurama turned to pick up his card, he heard a thud and a crash. Hiei had fallen off of his stool and was lying on the floor, giggling hysterically.

"Good Gods!" Yusuke yelped as Hiei rolled around on the ground.

"Like I said…" Kurama trailed off.

Yusuke bent down, trying to convince Hiei to stand. Shaking his head, Kurama slipped out the door and ran down the street. After a few minutes of no progress, Yusuke grabbed Hiei under the arms and tried to lift him.

"The little twerp is heavy," he grunted in surprise, dropping Hiei.

"aye, do ye need 'elp?' the bartender came out from behind the bar, flipping his drying towel over his shoulder.

"Yeah, if you could…" Yusuke nodded and then gulped as he took in the bartender's structure.

He was a bit over seven feet tall; he was obviously slouching when he was behind the bar. He was also probably a couple of feet wide of rock hard muscle. He bent down, grabbed Hiei around the middle, and hefted him over his shoulder as easily as he had the drying towel. When he straightened, his brown-black hair scraped the ceiling.

"Aye, where do ye want me to take 'im?' the bartender asked, obviously not bothered a bit by Hiei's weight.

"The car's outside," Kurama said, gesturing from the door.

"Car?" Yusuke turned, "We have a car?"

They all walked outside and Kurama gestured to the street.

"We have a '05 convertible 'Stang?" Yusuke yowled, "Those aren't even out to the public yet, are they? How'd you get one?"

"One: it's mine, not ours. Two: no, they are not out yet. Three: I can't tell you how I got it, I'd have to kill you."

"Whoa…" Yusuke muttered.

And indeed, the car was most definitely a 2005 Mustang convertible. It was Dark Cherry Red with a black top with black and red leather interior. Two black racing stripes ran across the hood. Kurama smiled as he ran his hand over the seat.

"Put Hiei in the back seat," he said, nodding to the bartender.

The bartender gently laid Hiei across the back seat. Hiei giggled and his eyes rolled back.

"Well, only room for one more," Kurama said, "And we need to move quickly. Lord knows what kind of trouble Mariko is in!"

"I'll come with you," Yukina said, vaulting herself into the front seat, leaving no room for argument.

"Wait," the bartender stepped forward, "You said Mariko. Do ye speak of Mariko Utarishi?"

"Yeah," Keiko said, "You know her?"

"Aye. She visited the bar many a time when her mum was too drunk to live with. She'd stay the 'ole night wittout sayin' a word. I'd wake the next mornin' to find 'er gone. What has 'appened to her?"

"Kidnapped," Yusuke said flatly.

"Ah, I wish I could 'elp, but I can't leave t' bar. No one else can take care of it. But, please, call me if ye need a bit o' help."

He handed Yukina a slip of paper with his number on it. Yukina smiled bleakly and nodded her thanks. Hiei rolled over and began muttering.

"Drinking sake….I'm all alone…..at the bar….Sake makes me sad tonight…..Sake…..why did you, why did you……." He trailed off and began giggling again. (A/N: that song is from Kodocha, Book 10. Don't own. Aaahhh, don't throw stuff at me! cat hits the wall behind my head Okay, who threw the cat!)

"Was he just singing?" Yusuke asked incredulously, "Where's my video camera when I need it?"

"You don't have one, smart one," Keiko rolled her eyes.

"Oh."

Kurama rolled his eyes as Keiko had and revved the engine. He grabbed his sunglasses and sped off; Yukina leaning to the back and soothingly stroking Hiei's hair. Botan grabbed Keiko and they blipped back to the house, leaving Yusuke and Kuwabara to walk back to the house, Yusuke grouching all the way.

Finally they all reached home. Hiei was laid out on the couch. (A/N: why does everyone end up on the couch? Ooohh, now get your minds out of the gutter! Geez….aahhh, don't throw stuff! Wolfie, was that you!) Yukina was kneeling beside him, obviously worried.

"So how do we snap him out of this?" Yusuke asked, poking him with a randomly placed stick.

"Go build a fire," Kurama commanded without even turning from his work in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Keiko asked curiously.

"Creating the ultimate revival potion."

"The what?"

"You heard me."

"What's in it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"I don't know, do I?"

"Heh. I'll tell you whether you want to know or not. What we have here is leek, fish gut, demon's eye, anteater tongue, and haggis."

Ew. Ew. EW! And this is supposed to do what?" Botan shrieked, interrupting loudly.

"It will snap Hiei out of his stupor in seconds. Then we throw him in the….ah….I'll tell ya in a minute."

"Okay, Bossy, I had Kuwabara start a fire, what now?" Yusuke demanded.

Kurama only smiled and nodded. They quickly dragged Hiei in front of the fireplace. Kurama forced him up and made Hiei drink the concoction. Hiei sat up spitting and kicking. Kurama then promptly picked him up…….and threw him in the fire…..

Kai: I like acorns...

Random: I am sitting on a walnut.

Kai: Hey, I want a walnut to sit on! NO fair!

Random: well, it is not very comfortabible.

Kai: Okay! - I like haggis.

Random: You do?

Kai: No, I lied.

Random: Oh, okay.

Kai: Well, tune in next time for a new chappie. If Random ever gets off her lazy butt and actually writes it. Which is highlydoubtful.

Random: Oh cheese, I didn't say it at the beginning. I DO NOT OWN YU YU HAKUSHO! SO GOSITON A SQUIRREL! (Kai: oh, the poor squirrel)

Random: Oh yeah, they canceled Yu Yu Hakusho off of Saturday night Toonami! I cried for a week!

Kai: That can not be a healthy obsession...

Punkie: while they are bawling, I shall say REVIEW PLEASE! Heh, I get a penny for each person who reviews. Not really. I am unpaid. Geez, I gotta talk to my agent...