The Mean Things I've Done To Dr. Julian Bashir (or Sue's Revenge)
by Lyda Mae (RavenDove) Huff
Chapter Seven: A False Moment of Self
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Rationalizing that following has proven useless. It was very hard to write, and will never make sense to anyone. Not even me.
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Julian had endured the same torture over again. Some times the syringe had Saff in it. Other times it was Red Ice Heroine that would make him vomit up what little food his captors gave him, but leave him with a pleasurable buzz as he hallucinated things he would rather not remember. Some times it was a neural blocker that left him unable to move while they beat him, and he would wake up hours later in unimaginable pain. Still other times it was nothing at all. That was the cruelest torture, because he never knew when the needle bore a reprieve, and he was no longer sure what reprieve was.
He had lost track of the time in his drugged stupors when he awoke to find himself with company in his misery. He looked up to find Sarina holding his aching head in her lap. He tried to speak, but his mouth was dry. He rolled out of her arms slowly and tried to steady himself on all fours as his stomach lurched up.
"Are you alright Julian?" she asked.
His stomach heaved again and he raised a finger as if to say, 'One moment.' The wave of nausea passed and he manage to work up some moisture in his mouth. "How long have you been here?" he asked her.
"I'm not sure." she said. "I was in my apartment, and then I was here."
Julian unfortunately was familiar with that story. He looked at her with dread in his eyes, "Have they tortured you yet?"
Her voice shook as she answered. "Not yet." She wore only a long gray wrap around gown of the same material as the dirty pants Julian wore.
"What do they want with us?" Sarina asked.
"I don't know." Julian answered. "They don't have goals that make sense to me." He managed to sit with his back against the bare wall. "They seam to be after people who are like us."
"Why?" she asked. "Why couldn't they just leave us alone?"
"They hate us Sarina." Julian said. "They hate us beyond reason."
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Sarina had watched as they injected Julian again with some horrid concoction. The last time it had left him writhing on the floor in agony, and though she tried to comfort him he pushed her away. Their torture seemed focused on him, each administration driving him to the brink of madness. With her powerless to do anything but watch.
It was after the goons had left and she tried to cradle Julian in her arms that she noticed something different in his eyes. It was a hunger she couldn't understand. He did not shake as he seized her with more strength than he should have had. His lips on her lips, and his hands upon her breasts. "No Julian!" she cried, but he could not hear. She could not fight him. This was not real...
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Julian looked down at Sarina's delicate face that was so much like a china doll. He could not dry the tears that he had caused. She had trusted him in his weakness and he had taken advantage of her. He may have been drugged, but he was not the animal that he had become.
He had no doubt that she had retreated from reality. Back to the world she had dwelt in before they had first met. Would she be able to make the return journey again? He doubted it, and it was all his fault.
He turned away from her and sat with his face on his knees, wrapping his arms around himself in the cell which was now an even colder place. And for the first time since he had been brought here, he did not care if his captors saw him cry.
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It barely registered on Julian as his Chief Tormentor kicked him in the side to get his attention. It did register when he was seized by the hair. He found himself facing Sarina's limp form.
"This turned out far better than I expected." the distorted voice of the faceless one said with a laugh. "She trusted you, and you did her far more harm than I could have."
Julian was dropped to the floor, and the Tormentor's minions drug Sarina from the room. Leaving him alone once again, only this time he found himself preferring it. He could only wish for death now. Better death than to live on after what he'd done.
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Once the door to Bashir's cell had closed, the Tormentor removed his mask to reveal the features of an older human male with dark brown hair that was white at the right temple. He looked back at the cell with a sinister smile. "Computer, end Sarina hologram." With that the limp form his minions had dropped on the floor disappeared.