There's a little bit of Misha's old speech returning in this chapter. Plus, I did kind of enter... um... copywrited stuff in here(I DO NOT OWN IT!). It's just a clip from the eighth volume(by the way, I now own all of the manga!), but it blends in with other stuff. So it's more like I placed in a few TokyoPop copywrited lines. Well, OH WELL. This chapter is dedicated to Cabbi!

Born Again
Four, Memory
Written by: Makami
----------

The first step into the murky water was almost her last. The water was cold and slimey--too cold and too slimey. She shuddered at the feeling and fought back all urges to turn around and run away, screaming her head off.

"Oooh..." she sighed. "What am I doing here?"

A small squeak escaped her as she felt something brush against her ankle. That was the last straw and she was out before anything else could touch her. She sat down at the water's edge and stared out into the darkness.

"I should probably go back now," she whispered to herself. "I don't want to worry Kotarou. If I head back now then maybe he won't even know that I left." She closed her eyes. "Heh. I bet if he knew that I was here and not at home he'd have a fit. He worries about me too much..."

The sound of soft splashing reached her as it had earlier that day.

"Mi... Misha-san!"

She could hear the sounds, all as if they were happening before her. That soft, sweet voice was there, happy and relieved.

"Oh, I'm so glad. So glad that you're still here."

She could almost envision the face of the one calling out to her. He turned to face her with a broad smile and his eyes were sparkling with excitement. Her brown hair swayed with all of his body's movements. His skin was pale, like the moonlight, and he almost to be glowing.

"Ko...taroh...kun...?"

His smile grew and he began walking towards her. He extended his hand with a slight bow to her.

"Do me this honour?"

"F-For what?"

"Dancing, silly!" he laughed. It was a beautiful, gentle laugh. "Come on. I've waited a long time for this."

She stared at the hand for a while, undecided on what she should do. She'd known this boy before. His melodeous laughter, his dancing eyes, and... such wonderful warmth. She had never felt his warmth before, but she had somehow always known it. His hand, closed tightly over her own, was warm with life.

Promise me, Misha, that you won't leave me this time."

"I won't," she promised. His arms curved around the small of her back. When had she started standing? It didn't matter. He was so warm. She couldn't leave this even if she tried.

"This is our second chance, Misha. You're as mortal as possible now. No one will take you away from me this time."

"No one," she repeated. She closed her eyes, feeling a little dizzy from spinning in circles. 'This person is... someone I knew. Someone... dear to me... Kotaroh...''

She felt him guide her, swaying and spinning over the water's surface, always touching it but never falling in. They were dancing to music that was playing just for the two of them, music that no one else could hear. And his body was so very, very warm.

"Do you remember the times we had together, Misha?"

She was quiet for a moment, "Faintly... yessie yes. Suu..." She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. "Oh, I 'member whember youie you. Kotaroh-kun. Suu..."

He smiled happily and swung her one last time.

She frowned.

"I... remember... the water..."

He puled her close and held her tightly.

"I'm sorry. I sooo sorry, Misha."

"I couldn't..."

"It's okay now. We're together again. And even though you won't always be able to see me, please remember that I'm just under the surface."

"Wha...?"

"Just, please, okay?"

"Misha!"

----------

Kotarou flew out of his apartment, just barely remembering to close the front door, as he screamed out Misha's name. What was that troublesome girl thinking? She just got up in the middle of the night and took off. How could she do that? But what it it was because Sasha or another angel had come to bring her back to Heaven?

What if she was already back in Heaven?

'No... No, not again!' His eyes were burning and stinging with fresh tears. 'I can't take losing you again. Not like this. Last time... That was different. I can't lose you again!'

"Mii-shaaa!"

Scenes from the strange dream flashed in his mind. The harder he tried to remember the figure's face the more the shadows darkened around him, until all that was visible was a pair of eerie, blood red eyes. Those eyes were a little creepy, but not evil. Sorrowful, heartbroken even, but they held no malice. His voice had been soft, as if the wind had been whispering to him. The words were possessive, but he had sounded relieved, almost happy.

"Mishaaa!"

Everything was dark suddenly. Dark, dark with shadows and greenery. Kotarou hadn't even realized that he had been running towards the park, and far away from any light. Is this where Misha was? He felt like he was being called--no, pulled here. Misha had to be in the park.

He skidded across the pavement and made a sharp turn left.

The lake.

'Is she here?' he wondered. 'Why'd she come back here? WhyWhy--'

His breath caught in his throat as Misha came into his view. She was beautiful, standing out in the water. She was glowing softly in the darkness, and a nonexistant wind gently ruffled her hair and clothes. Her ivory wings were spread out behind her. And she looked like she was praying, with her hands clasped together and her head bowed.

But the feelings of relief and awe did not last long. Quickly they turned to horror and consumed him. He was scared, frightened, of what this could mean.

Before him, now, standing on the water's surface, was a beautiful angel. She was so beautiful. So Heavenly... He felt a chill run down his spine. An angel. Misha was an angel again--not that she had ever stopped. But an angel, an angelic being that would leave him again.

"Mi-Misha!" he called out to her. She was still and didn't reply. "H-Hey, Misha? It's late, you know. We should head home, dontcha think?"

Slowly, so very slowly and gracefully, she spun over the water's surface to join him.

"Oh, Kotarou-kun... This isn't the right place, is it?" she asked, her voice hardly over a whisper. "It's not the place I was supposed to meet you at. This is the wrong place."

"Wha-What are you talking about?"

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. What was she talking about?

"I'm sorry for being this late," she apologized. "All this time... I don't even know where I've been for the past few days. Suu. I am sorry. Su."

'Is she getting her memoriy back?' he silently wondered. "Misha...?"

She started laughing, happily.

"One of these days, I want to go dancing with you."

He blushed deeply. His voice caught in his throat. She wasn't a true angel just then--if she had been he would not have been able to see her, but she was sure close to it. And what was she talking about? Dancing?

She laughing, she threw her arms around his neck. She held him close, so warm, so soft. Kotarou slowly returned the embrace and held her tightly as if he was going to lose her if he let go. Her breath danced along the skin of his neck.

"Oh, Kotarou-kun, I'll never leave you again. Su," she promised. "Never ever again. I missed you so so sooo much up there in Heaven. Suu... But now, now I won't ever leave you. Never again. I-I love you!"

"Mi-Misha..." Kotarou let himself relax into the feel of her holding on to him. "I... I love you, too."

He could feel her smile against his shoulder. The glow of her aura began to fade away. She felt real, heavier, as her wings, too, began to fade from existance. He was forced to lean down to make up for their size difference.

"Oh, Kotarou-kun. Suuuuu..."

"Misha."

He held her close for a few more moments, in silence, not knowing what to say to her, but knowing that he did not have to say a word. She already knew. She already knew what he wanted to say, the feelings that no words could honestly express. You ended up having to settle for what you knew how to say, and wondered if the other person actually understood. But he could feel them, hear them, her feelings, as if he could see into her mind and soul, and she knew how he felt.

She felt the same way.

"W-We, uh" he hated to ruin such a perfect moment, but... "we should head home now. You're wet from being in the water and I don't want you getting sick. It's cold."

Her body tensed up.

"K-Kotarou-kun?" There was something different about her voice, something that was there a moment ago and now missing.

He loosened his grip on her and moved back to get a better look at her. Her arms fell from around his neck and hung limply at her sides. She stared up at him with wide, round eyes. She looked unsure. Startled. It was as if a switch had been flicked and she was back, or gone, depending on how you looked at it. It was as if this Misha hadn't even known he was here or what was going on.

"Wh-When did you... g-get... here...?" she stammered. "Wh-What...? How... What was I doing...?"

This wasn't Misha. This wasn't his angel. She was just a shy, timid girl who knew nothing of the world that was around her. Sure, she had hints, but she didn't really have a clue. She had no memories of who she was. She didn't even act like who she was. They weren't even the same person. How could he be happy with her...?

He smiled at her and held a hand out to her. She wasn't the Misha he once knew and loved, and she did not have any memories of them together, or of anyone else, but Misha was still Misha. She would always be his angel either way. Memories or not, she was still the one he loved. He wouldn't abandon her just because she didn't fit his expectations.

He understood then, how she had once felt, wanting so badly for him to be the boy that she had known. He had been wanting her to be that same angel he had loved, treating her as if the memories would just come and they would be happy again. She might never again be who she once was. She might always be someone more serious, someone withdrawn, but that was still Misha. A different side of her, but it was still her.

"C'mon, let's go home," he said. "Let's go home, Misha, together."

She seemed to calm down, to relax a little, and she smiled brightly at him. He could see her smiling through the darkness. She was beautiful, bathed in shadows and moonlight.

"Home?" she questioned. "Yeah, home sounds good."

----------

Misha yawned and pulled the blanket she had tighter around herself. She was tired, and knew that she should probably get to bed, but she just couldn't sleep. She felt as though going to sleep now would mean never waking up ever again. Something had happened in the park, and she was scared. Scared that it would happen again; scared that the next time she would lose herself.

Forever...

"Kotarou..."

She pressed her fingertips to the cold, cold glass of the balcony window. She pressed her forehead to the glass and sighed heavily. She wanted to stay awake.

"I... I'm... not... I'm not even the original. So why am I... so..."

She could not stop herself from shaking. No matter how tightly the blanket wrapped around herm no matter how she held herself, it would not stop. She wanted to cry, to scream, to break something and let out her frustrations. She wanted...

'I want him to smile at me again and tell me that it's okay. I want to feel silly for being scared. I want to know it's safe...'

"I'm home, Misha!" Kotarou called as he entered the apartment.

She glanced back briefly then hid her face in the blanket. She wanted to see him, so be assured by him, but she was scared. Scared of what she would see in his eyes now that he knew that she was not who he thought she was. What would she see? How did he feel about what had happened?

What exactly had happened?

"Mi...sha...?" he questioned as he came up behind her. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what happened," she replied. "How I got into your arms, before. It's... blank. Totally blank..."

"For a short time, I got to speak to my angel," he said softly. "She promised never to leave me."

"And then she did, right?" she mumbled.

"Nope." He knelt down behind her and pulled her back in to his embrace. He held her tightly. He wanted to hold her like that forever.

"Kotarou... kun...?"

"Misha is Misha. You are Misha." He tightened his grip on her. "I know what now..."

Love n Hate: It was sweet, wasn't it? Something innocent, cute and sweet... until it all falls apart. I hope that you enjoyed this.