PURSUE THAT WHICH YOU TREASURE

CHAPTER 1: LION AND SERPENT
Skye Island, 25th of December ´94

My name is June MacPherson, I'm 33 years old and was born from the night of June 21st to June 22nd; nobody really knows if I was born before or after midnight, but I don't care either.

I am living in a coast town on the Skye Island, west of Scotland close to Eilean Donan Castle, where I raise my twin girls Dawn and Bronwyn. They're twelve years old now and in their second year of Durmstrang Institute. They're good students and I'm glad that I can afford to send them to such a good school, though it means, that I only see them twice a year... Christmas and summer. But I love them more than anything else, thus I what them to have the best education they can get.

Nothing however - not even my endless love for them - can change the fact, that every time I look at them, I'm being reminded of my past, as they resemble their father in appearance and temper...

Nobody can imagine how frustrating it is, when you love someone with all your heart but at the same time you can see a person you hate in said someone's face or reactions.

Dawn and Bronwyn gave me this new diary for Christmas. They told me to write down my secrets, everything I can't share with anybody... which means them. Cause since I've moved here 13 years ago, I haven't made any friends... I never wanted to. We are clearly the only witches in this town... muggles everywhere...

Secrets I can't share... although they are just twelve years old, they're not daft. They know, that I'm hiding things from them... They don't even know who their father is. Once they asked me for his name. I told them to refer to him as "father", but I preferred it if they wouldn't talk about him.

Secrets... my whole life consists of a huge net of secrets, half-truths and lies... my past... the glorious time of my life... the present... a chain of endless, dull days, which seem to keep repeating themselves... ...unless of course my girls are here... the only happy times in the year.

Secrets... Well, my real name is June Malise Malfoy. I'm 33 years old and a ghost, figuratively speaking. I've been "dead" for 13 years. The father of my children caused my demise. My master punished me, because he believed I had betrayed him, when in fact the traitor had been the father of my children... The punishment was severe. Cruciatus over and over again. After what seemed a lifetime, the dark Lord cursed me with Avada Kedavra and I slipped into darkness. Though I survived it, the inner wound – my love's treason – was fatal. He changed sides, thus betrayed everybody around him.

Dawn and Bronwyn have asked me many times about their father and our mutual past... or about my family. Usually I said, that it is not important, that all that counts is, that we have each other. But their questions grew more and more persistent over the years. I was completely aware of the fact, that they deserve to know, but when I finally gave them all the answers, it was as hard for the three of us, as I had expected it to be...

They already knew, that my father had died early. They also knew that I had a sister – Kaelin – who is supposedly dead. I tried to explain to them; how my life had been... that it had been a different time... That's what I finally told them:

When I had graduated from school, I and your father, we went to war. We were young, ambitious and determined to build a better and richer world... for us... for our children. But our dreams were shattered. Our families had started the revolution long before us guided by the dark Lord. Over the time we, the pure blooded families, had turned into a minority. All we wanted to achieve was to secure our position in the magical society. The mudbloods and muggle lovers suppressed us, our righteous place in the world was being withheld from us. But the dark Lord was about to lead us back into the light. We already winced into the warm rays of the sun, when the sky darkened again, as we had been betrayed by one of our closest alleys: Your father, who spied for the others. One of the others was my sister Kaelin. She'd always been the odd one in our family; being sorted into a different house, than the rest of the kin, having mudblood-friends... even a werewolf. The others also had killed my father when I was not even 15 years old.

Ever since the dark Lord vanished, I've been hiding out here, because the Ministry of Magic would put me into Azkaban prison right away, if they knew I'm still alive.

This had been a huge shock for the girls. They had to come to understand that their mother is a wanted felon, their father a traitor. So I tired to give them an idea on how I had felt at that time. I said:

The dark Lord gave us a dream and we believed in him... in us. I still recall that some time before the fateful night we fought against the others and I saw the pride in everybody's eyes to be fighting for our freedom in this land. Though we never thought we could lose, I have no regrets. If I had another chance, I wouldn't hesitate.

At this point I stopped. I didn't tell them what I myself just have an uneasy sense of, because they'd be scared to death. I feel… first it was just a slight feeling, which now grows stronger and stronger, I feel that the world is changing, the darkness surrounding me cleared a little. Something is happening... the dark mark which almost had been gone is now distinct visible. Thus the dark Lord never really died and now after he recovered from the treasury, he will rise again and lead us once more towards the sun.

When the time comes, I'll be prepared to fight and die for you, dark Lord, for my ancestors and my children.

June Malise Malfoy

- - - - - - - - - -

Malfoy Manor, December 25th, 1994

To whom it may concern…

'My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.'

That's a sentence I read once and I say it over to comfort myself in these times that try my soul.

I'm Kaelin. Kaelin Skrutin and I was born some thirty-four years ago. Wow… I never thought that when I would be thirty my life would still be such a mess. Anyway… currently my residence is a bare room somewhere in the basement of my dear cousin's house. Lovely place, really. All bright and inviting… if you're a dark creature. And as I'm the only person within a couple of miles who is not so keen on killing and torturing people one could assume that I'm here against my will… a prisoner so to speak. It's true… I am.

I thought I'd never have to see this wretched house ever again but no... destiny had to interfere with my life yet again. One could think it got tired of tormenting me one day... but no... it never forgets you, it seeks you and no matter how hard you try to escape, it will find you and then you undergo its terrible wrath again.

Now, doesn't that sound depressing?

Okay, let me try to put this in a slightly more objective perspective...

When I was nine years old my parents got divorced. A divorce certainly entails several significant decisions, to be made by the parents, concerning money, property and children… My mother made it inescapably clear that she didn't want to be with me anymore as I was… let me see if I remember the exact words she used… as I was poisoned by impure thoughts, given to me by my father, thoughts that had already fused with my personality and couldn't be detached from my unworthy soul anymore.

She told me that to my face.

My little sister on the other hand was worthy and she moved together with my mother to my uncle's house in England. I remained in Scotland with my father. He suffered because of the separation from his little girl. Don't get me wrong he loved the both of us dearly but not even he could have predicted that my mother made sure that contact between June and us was cut off entirely. He tried not to show his disappointment, anger and grief when we never received an answer to our letters, but I noticed anyway.

It was years later that we found out June had never received a single letter as well and thought that we weren't interested in her anymore.

Major Malfoy conspiracy that was… some things never change, it would seem.

School time… now that's a time that wasn't all bad if you disregard the fights with stupid, pure-blood possessed Slytherins, including my sister, or my father being killed. I found excellent friends there. The best if you ask me… We had so much fun and without them I wouldn't have digested my father's death.

He died when I was fifteen. Killed, murdered by Death Eaters maybe even by some in-laws or the Dark Lord himself. No one knows for sure.

As I was still under-age I was sent to live with my closest relative. Oh joy. My mother was just as thrilled as I was. So I moved to England, into the very same house I'm sitting under right now, however with a different head of the house.

At that time it was my uncle Mortimer… now it's my cousin Lucius. Idiots, the both of them if you ask me. They're alike in appearance and demeanour. Both unbelievably arrogant and sure of themselves. Makes me want to throw up every time I see one of them. Although I must say that my cousin is a real pain in my a compared to my uncle. My uncle kept out of my way. But Lucius… he's getting on my nerves constantly… He knows how to make a girl happy. He always enjoyed torture of any kind.

Slow and sure I'm beginning to believe that he's dissatisfied… in what way, you ask? In every way possible, I answer.

I know… I'm digressing from my actual topic, but it's so easy to get carried away when it comes to them…

So, I had to spend my summer holidays at Malfoy Manor, which was packed with people who hated me. Not that the feeling wasn't mutual, it most definitely was, still, it was not my favourite place to be, and it wasn't the atmosphere I needed after my father died.

I survived those two summers somehow, though.

After I graduated from Hogwarts I didn't go back there and I never intended to do so later on. I moved into a flat in London together with my best friend Lily until she married. I still can't believe that she married the guy she once told that she would rather go out with the giant squid than with him. She hated the Marauders, especially James (that's the one she married in the end. Funny, isn't it?) I didn't mind them… they were fun to be with, all three of them.

But to be honest, I was especially fond of one of them… he was my saviour, my bright light in the dark, my shining star… almost literally. Sirius was the one who always managed to make me feel better, no matter what… the one who understood me and believed in me even when I myself didn't… he was my soul mate, my love. What am I saying? He still is… wherever he is! Why am I talking about in him like he's dead? He's still alive albeit on the run for something he didn't do.

Yet another part of my life I could have done without…

The years leading to graduation and afterwards were particularly shaped by the ongoing war in the Wizarding World. We had known about it, of course, when we were still in school and now we wanted to contribute to the fight against the Dark Lord, as Voldemort became known as. James, Sirius and I decided to become Aurors for the Ministry. We finally wanted to do something. Remus 'wanted' too… yet the stupid blighters at the Ministry didn't allow him to enter Auror training with us because of his condition so he was forced into research. Lily chose research as well.

We all knew what we were getting ourselves into but… I don't think anyone could have prepared us for the things we experienced in this war.

It was definitely not the best precondition to start a family; nevertheless James and Lily affronted all arguments and did just that. They knew that it wasn't the best time or the wisest thing to do considering everything but still they felt that it was the right time for them. They married and Lily got pregnant. They received a little baby boy. He should be about 14 right now… little Harry Potter. He brought joy to a time when joy was rare.

Of course one can guess that it wasn't as great as we all wished it to be. For some reason Voldemort's attention was drawn to little Harry and Lily and James had to go into hiding. Later even that wasn't safe anymore and they decided to perform the Fidelius Charm with Sirius as their Secret Keeper. And that's when the real drama commenced…

It ended the war in the Wizarding World yet the price a comparatively small group of people had to pay was immensely high… too high. Two dead, leaving behind a little son, one locked away in prison for something a so-called friend did, one cursed and unable to come to terms with the loss of people dear to her and one left all alone with no friends.

I went to Godric's Hollow to see for myself that night… not the best idea I'd ever had.

Ten years later I woke up. Entirely disoriented, I rushed out of the building, but not without stealing… borrowing a wand from a nurse. I apparated to Godric's Hollow just to find out that everything I hoped was just a bad dream was true. Now I needed to find out what had happened to Harry, Sirius and Remus. Unfortunately I ran across someone else before I even got the chance to reach the Ministry for information. He, of course, took advantage of my confused state of mind. Who that might have been is not too difficult to guess. Lucius kindly took it upon himself to inform me of everything that had happened in those ten years I was indisposed. I can only hope that he lied about the majority of things… I really hope he did…

Anyway… I've been his prisoner since he picked me up… locked away again, this time in a room instead of my mind… can't say I prefer any of those possibilities. I can't do anything but brood over all that's happened to my friends and me. Now that I've been able to come across a scrap of paper, I can finally dispose of some of my thoughts.

This is really depressing, you know. Sitting in this room, day by day, unable to do anything… but lately things have changed around here. Something's happening out in the world although I do not yet know what it is. I have a vague idea though, taking Lucius' reckless transmission of information into consideration. It's only a matter of time and I'll know for sure. I know that I'm not being guarded as closely as I was in the start and also that I'm not considered an immediate threat anymore.

Maybe this will be my opportunity to escape this hell… and I will seize this chance that's for sure.

Kaelin Skrutin

Author's Note (by Kaelin):

So... that was the introduction... Sorry about the very UN - creative title... I hope you liked it anyway. Please Read and Review. Comments as always more than welcome. Oh and a little advice for future chapters... no reviews no new chapter. ;o) so please... just a short one...