A/N OK, this is turning into a HUGE flashback…but hey, as things get closer to the present we remember them better, right? ;o) The next instalment will be up soonish, and will finish off this episode – the night here is not yet over, and the happy couple have lots to discuss! Read and review if that takes your fancy – I'm always encouraged by any response!

That night after dinner, he had found himself 'hastening' discreetly to her room. As much as his heart was racing, as much as his mind was on overdrive, he knew he had to take this slowly. For both their sakes. Glancing at his watch, he hoped she would be alone now. He'd slipped back to his room at the end of his shift and quickly showered and changed…not quite sure what to expect from the evening, not even sure what he wanted. Now, stalking quickly down the empty corridors, he was hardly any nearer to an answer. She had relaxed with him earlier, but he knew her too well to assume that it was that simple. She was a beautifully complex woman and almost dangerously fragile beneath that controlled exterior. Not many people had seen her fall apart…but then again, he thought with a wry smile, the same could most probably be said of him. There had been too many screw-ups in the past and, god help him, this time he had to do it right…had to make sure they both got things right.

She would be nervous, of that he was sure. Terribly, endearingly, nervous. He could picture her now, her hands busy, fidgeting with the things on her desk, with her clothes, her hair…anything to stop them shaking. He smiled, and looked down at his own slightly trembling palms. What a pair…

Knocking lightly on the outer door to her study, he stepped back a pace. He was pleased to note that she had obviously dismissed the guards. Of course, normally he would have been annoyed by her frivolous disregard for his insistence on constant surveillance, but tonight he would forgive her. After all, tonight she would be in safe hands, he thought, allowing himself a little smile.

He heard the rustle of her shuffling papers, and then the ever-so-slightly shaky 'come in'. Pushing the door open carefully, his hand resting on the handle perhaps a little longer than usual, he stepped into the room. As he had expected, she was sitting at her desk, her glasses propped endearingly on the end of her nose, her pen still uncapped and twisting unconsciously between her fingers. He smiled, and, he was pleased to note, she placed the pen down on the desk and took off her glasses. He had known she would be working…she always was. He knew how she hid behind that desk, he understood the security it offered her against things she couldn't control.

Not that Clarisse wasn't aware of this. Not at all. As she carefully slipped off her glasses and folded them back into the case, she could almost hear her heart beating, it felt that loud. All evening she had waited for him…all evening she had been inundated with unexpected visitors, the cook, Charlotte, Martin asking whether she required a car the tomorrow, Charlotte again, wishing her goodnight…it felt as if everyone in the embassy had traipsed through her damn office…everyone but him.

She wasn't angry, far from it. But she was tired. Today had been as wonderful as it had been draining, but now, after four hours of diplomatic meetings, and an evening of interruptions, she could feel her eyes beginning to grow heavy.

But when he had smiled at her, she had forgotten all that and, she was almost ashamed to admit it, felt like a giddy teenager. She knew him, knew him better than anyone else in the world, and yet she still felt as if everything were new. New, and just a little bit dangerous.

As he stepped behind her, Joe smiled at the reading material on the desk…he'd often teased her before about her secret penchant for celebrity magazines and he was pleased that she had not stopped on his account. Gently placing his hands on her shoulders, touched as she shuddered slightly, he began to massage her undoubtedly tense muscles. Still they hadn't spoken, and yet this silence of theirs was not an awkward one. Words simply weren't important.

Clarisse couldn't help but relax back into his strong, yet tender touch, immediately feeling a warmth spreading across her back, soothing her tiredness. As her eyes gently closed, she was surprised to feel a tightness building in her throat. For a moment, it was as if nothing had ever happened, as if everything was as it once had been. She tried to smile, but tears came anyway, slowly gliding down her cheeks. As he bent to kiss her neck, he heard the breath catch in her throat. Her hand snaked up to stroke his cheek, and he pressed another kiss to her fingers.

He could see her tears, and for a moment he was concerned…but he understood. God, he could even feel his own eyes growing slightly moist. Kissing his way from her cheek to her hairline, he wrapped both his arms firmly around her, still unable to look at her beautiful eyes, but desperately wanting to give her space. Clarisse understood what he was doing and silently thanked him for it. Joseph had always understood so well her need to be…well, she couldn't quite describe it. Not detached, exactly, but outside, somehow. A moment of space before she lost herself once more in him.

As his mouth reached her ear, she shivered in anticipation, her hand still delicately caressing his cheek. Tenderly, he brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and, smiling to himself, glancing down at the magazine still sitting guiltily open on her desk and whispered gently,

"Hello…"

Of course, she hadn't got it straight away. But leant over her shoulder, his fingers now casually leafing through the pages, his cheek still pressed warmly against her own, she couldn't help but smile. Always the joker. And thank god for that. Without his humour she sometimes wondered what would have become of her, without that occasional, well-timed laugh, would she have coped so very well?

The ice well and truly broken, Joe began to relax more. His knees were seriously objecting now to his kneeling on the ground, but he no longer cared. Kissing her cheek again, he whispered softly,

"Are you okay?"

She smiled, turning a little towards him, his lips brushing gently across her cheek, to the side of her mouth,

"Yes." She paused, twisting in her seat until she was finally facing him, placing both hands now on his cheeks, looking straight into his beautiful, deep eyes, "Yes, more than okay…perfect."

Now he took the opportunity to carefully wipe away the tears that were still glistening on her cheeks, pleased that she met his smile with one of her own. She watched him intently as he took her hands in his and raised them both to his lips.

"Me too. I've been thinking about you all day…"

She smiled, endearingly blushing, and yet just a little intrigued.

"Really?"

He nodded, stroking her fingers,

"Mmm…you make it quite difficult to concentrate, you know, my dear. I mean…I fear that I may have signed Martin's holiday request for three weeks without even noticing this evening…"

She giggled, and his eyes sparkled,

"So that's why he was looking so pleased with himself…"

"He was here?"

She sighed, lacing her fingers through his,

"Everyone was here this evening…"

He looked up from their joined hands and wondered for a moment if she were cross. She yawned quietly and he smiled back…no, just tired. It had been a long day. Pausing a little while, wondering how to phrase things, he began to cautiously stand. Still holding her hands, he pulled her gently up to stand in front of him. She looked up at him, a little cautious maybe, and then brought her head to rest against his chest. Releasing one of her hands, he stroked the nape of her neck,

"Clarisse…we have to talk…maybe not now, but soon…"

She nodded, her free hand looping contentedly around his waist,

"I know…but not tonight. I'm too tired to think straight…but…but, Joseph, will you stay with me?"

He sighed, kissing her forehead, and then, gradually easing her chin towards him, their lips met. It was a chaste kiss, but of remarkable intensity…for a moment Joe wondered if he were falling and found his arm wrapping itself around her shoulders to steady himself. She smiled against his lips, loving the fact that she could finally give in to that which her body had craved for the past months. As they broke apart he dropped a final kiss to her nose,

"Of course…always, my love."