Thanks to the following for their encouragement: Joee, Rinny Leonhart, Dragonfly, and Kelly Kragen.
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Chapter 31: A Strange Alliance
With great caution, Gandalf was riding parallel to the western border of Southern Mirkwood. It was true that the Dark Lord had been driven from the fortress of Dol Guldur, but over the years since that time evil had crept back into the southern forest. Spiders driven from Northern Mirkwood by Thranduil's folk took refuge there, and Orcs had crossed over from their strongholds in the Misty Mountains and burrowed beneath the roots of the trees. Wargs, too, roamed within the shadows. The Orcs would throw rocks at the spiders, and the spiders would devour any Orc unfortunate enough to blunder into their webs, but let a lone Man or Elf wander into their territory, and Orc, spider, and warg would forget their antipathy one for the other in order to join together in savaging the intruder. Afterward they might quarrel over the carcass, but that would be of no consolation to the victim! No, Gandalf had no wish to enter the forest of Southern Mirkwood unless he traveled as part of a company of Elves or Rangers. Still, he did not want to journey too far out of his way, so he was careful to stay within sight of the forest.
As he kept a wary eye upon the westernmost fringe of trees, he noticed that a smallish creature was crawling about not far from its shadow. He reined his horse to a halt and peered intently toward the skulking creature.
"Oh, no," he groaned aloud. "Not you, my friend!"
The wizard pondered what to do. On the one hand, he was anxious to examine the mysterious rings that were being safeguarded in Thranduil's Great Hall. He also had no desire to abandon his current safe course, for no doubt the skulking creature would shortly take shelter in the perilous forest, having merely ventured out in search of the nests of ground-dwelling birds, easy prey for such as he was. On the other hand, Gandalf knew that he could never be sure when next he would encounter the creature. Should he not seize upon this opportunity to resume his quest to capture and question him?
As the wizard considered, the creature turned and crept back toward the forest, eggs clutched in his hands and yolk dripping from his mouth. Gandalf sighed and dismounted from his horse. Removing his small bag of necessities and slinging it over his shoulder, he bade his horse make for the settlement of Beorn the Shape-changer. "You will be well-entertained there," the wizard told the steed. "Do pass on my greetings to Beorn and tell him that I look forward to sojourning with him for a time whensoe'er my labors permit."
Off trotted the horse, leaving behind a dejected wizard who slipped warily into the darkness beneath the drooping and silent limbs of the trees of Southern Mirkwood.
"This creature is as slimy as a slug," grumbled the wizard as he picked out the trail. Soon, though, he had more reason to complain, for the slime trail climbed up the trunk of a tree. Gandalf stood underneath the tree peering into the canopy. "Would that the Valar had given me the shape of a young Man rather than an old one," he complained. "It is good that I gave Elrond my cloak, for it would only be in my way now."
Securing his staff in his belt, Gandalf climbed painfully up the tree trunk and inched out onto a limb, clinging to it with both hands and legs. Suddenly he yelped and lifted one hand from the branch. Strings of egg white stretched from his hand to the branch.
"Most undignified situation," grumbled Gandalf, scraping his hand along the bark in an attempt, only partially successful, to remove the egg white. "A Maia doesn't belong in a tree. What was I thinking!?"
The wizard carefully backed down the tree trunk. Once again taking his staff in his hand, he stood pondering for a moment.
"I should give o'er the attempt," he said to himself, "for I cannot leap from tree to tree as an Elf may. I will return to the plain. Perchance my horse has not gone far. If I hasten, I may be able to recall him and so not be forced to walk all the way to the Great Hall."
Before he could stir from the spot, however, a sudden disturbance broke out nearby. Birds screeched and flew about frantically near their nests.
"Oh ho," chortled Gandalf, "methinks the egg-thief is not satisfied with his winnings and means to raid additional nests."
Quietly Gandalf crept in the direction of the din. Yes, the birds were certainly all aflutter over yonder, darting in and out of the branches of one tree in particular. Gandalf stole to the trunk of a nearby tree, hiding behind it to keep watch. His vigilance was soon rewarded. Here came the creature slinking down the tree, one arm cradling several eggs against his body.
"Too easy," gloated the wizard. "Won't even need to use my staff. Good thing, too, because in such close quarters, it may redound upon me." Gandalf remembered from his younger days as a Maia how painful it was to be hit by a blast from one's own staff. "Been petard-hoisted again today?' his comrades would chortle as he was carried, wan and writhing, from the training field. But that had been millennia ago. He had done nothing like that recently. He returned his attention to the task at hand.
The creature had reached the base of the tree and was slinking away from it in the direction of Gandalf's hiding place. The wizard waited until he was abreast of him and then leaped out, with his free hand seizing the creature's wrist.
"You and I will now have a conversation, sirrah!" Gandalf exclaimed triumphantly.
Of course, no one, not even a wizard, should indulge himself in gloating. Gollum at once seized Gandalf's other hand, the one holding the staff, and drew it to his mouth. Then he bit down hard upon Gandalf's own wrist. The wizard gasped in pain. Dropping his staff, he brought his now-free hand to Gollum's neck in an effort to throttle him sufficiently to force him to withdraw his teeth.
Back and forth the two struggled. At length, nigh strangled, Gollum ceased gnawing upon Gandalf's wrist, but Gandalf did not dare to let go of his throat, for the snarling creature then lunged for the wizard's face, his sharp teeth snapping shut a few scant inches from Gandalf's nose. At the same time Gollum used his free hand to claw at the wizard's eyes. Gandalf began to be sorry that he had not relied upon his staff, as perilous as such a strategy may have been. In hindsight, he thought it would have been preferable to have his eyebrows singed off by a misdirected spell than his nose bitten clean away by a rabid termagant.
At length, Gandalf managed to get one hand around both the creature's thin but wiry wrists, with the other hand maintaining his grip on Gollum's throat. But the creature was no means quelled. He was facing Gandalf and now brought both feet up and commenced kicking him in the belly and groin. Tears sprang into the wizard's eyes. This was both an unprecedented and a painful state of affairs. Now he wished with renewed fervor that he had indeed relied upon his staff.
"It had better have been that staff than this one," he gasped through the pain. "Now it is certain I will never have any little wizards of my own!"
More than a little frantic, Gandalf finally managed to turn Gollum about so that the creature was facing away from him. Gollum then began to pound his heels against the wizard's legs; however, painful as this was, it was not nearly as bad as the alternative.
Panting heavily, Gandalf staggered this way and that and at last backed into some object that arrested his motion. He stood quietly a moment, catching his breath, and then stepped forward. He had scarcely taken two steps before his movement was again arrested. Indeed, he felt as if he were being pulled back a bit. He tried to step to either side, with the same results. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Ugh! He had backed into a spider web. With his hands full of a wriggling, snarling Gollum, he wondered how he was to extricate himself from this predicament. With an effort, he swung Gollum around to the side and cast him into the net so that he, too, was now stuck in its silken strands. "At least," he thought with satisfaction, "I can safely let go my hold on Gollum, rest my arms, and think what to do."
Unfortunately, the time allowed for meditation proved to be brief. Attracted by the ruckus, two Orcs were on the prowl and now burst through the trees, staring with delight at the scene before them.
"Summertime an' the livin' is easy," chortled one, more poetic than most Orcs.
"Let's start wi' the littler un," said the other. "To whet the ap-pe-tite, like. Speakin' o' whettin', I'll just sharpen me blade."
He drew forth his knife, but his companion cuffed him on the head.
"Cain't eat 'im," he growled.
"Why not?" the other whined. "Looks too stringy to be kept back for the boss's table."
"'Cause that's the Squeaker or I'm a dwarf! He's wanted fer questionin'. It 'ud be worth our lives if we snacked on 'im."
The hungry Orc looked downcast momentarily but recovered quickly.
"There's t'other one, then—and he's the bigger o' the two!"
'Ain't ye never paid no mind to orders?"
"Orders. Wot orders?"
"Standin' orders to bring in all wizards. And ain't 'e a wizard?"
"I dunno. Is 'e?"
"Look'ee 'ere. Old man. Long beard. Staff over yonder. Pointed hat. Shows up outter nowhere. Now if that ain't a wizard, I don' know wot!"
"No cloak," said his companion stubbornly.
"Wot?"
"No cloak. 'E ain't got no cloak. Boss says 'e's gotter 'ave a cloak or a long, flowin' robe. Ain't got neither. So kin we eat 'im now?"
Gandalf thought he'd better put in a word, for he certainly did have an interest in being taken prisoner rather than devoured by Orcs. As a prisoner, he could, he reminded himself, always try to escape later, but his legs once having been stewed, such a course of action would be closed to him.
"Your pardon, gentlemen, but you might ask me about the matter. I am sure I could satisfy your curiosity."
"Huh?" chorused the Orcs.
"Ask me about myself," said Gandalf impatiently.
"Oh, to be sure. Be ye a wizard?"
"I am indeed a wizard," Gandalf replied.
"But ye ain't got no cloak nor robe!" insisted the skeptical Orc.
"Nevertheless, I am a wizard."
"Kin ye prove it?" challenged the doubtful one.
"I can. Hand me my staff, if you please."
The Orc eagerly reached toward the staff, but his companion whacked his hand with the flat of his sword.
"Idiot. If 'e's a wizard, ye don' wanter be given 'im 'is staff!"
This Orc had some sense, Gandalf decided.
"But," whined the more stupid of the two Orcs, "how'er we to know if'n 'e's a wizard?"
"Oh, we know now," snarled his companion. "It's proved. 'E wouldna wanted 'is staff if 'e warn't."
Yes, thought Gandalf ruefully, this one definitely had some sense.
The argument having been settled, the two Orcs turned their attention to securing their prisoners. First they slashed Gollum free from the web. He put up a good fight even against two hulking Orcs, but they still succeeded in tying his hands behind him and binding his feet. For good measure they gagged him, for the Orcs discovered the sharpness of Gollum's teeth as quickly as Gandalf had.
Having trussed up Gollum, the Orcs now turned their attention to Gandalf. They cut him free from the web, threw him face down on the ground, sat on his back, drew his arms behind him, and tied them painfully tight. Once he had been so secured, the hungry Orc, perhaps resentful that he had been deprived of a hearty meal, kicked Gandalf in the legs. The other Orc, however, promptly kicked him.
"Don't beat 'im about the legs, ye maggot! Not unless ye want ter be the one ter carry 'im."
Gandalf was relieved that at least he was to be left the use of his legs. Any hopes that the wizard had of giving his captors the slip were immediately dashed, however. The cleverer Orc reached down and seized hold of his surcoat, hauling him to his feet. Taking a length of rope, he tied one end around Gandalf's neck and gripped the other end tightly.
"For all yer a wizard," the Orc growled, "don' try to be clever. If ye even think of runnin' off, I'll give yuh a kink in yer neck wot'll have ye lookin' backwards 'till the end of yer days. Of course," he added, cackling, "that won't be sich a lengthy spell, now, will it?"
As for Gollum, apparently his weight was viewed to be negligible, for the other Orc tossed him casually over his shoulder with one arm and gripped Gandalf's staff with the other. And so off they marched, the cleverer Orc in the front leading Gandalf by the rope round his neck, and the other Orc bringing up the rear.
It soon became apparent to Gandalf that they were heading toward Dol Guldur. Even though the Dark Lord had been driven from that fortress, several years after the victory, a large band of Orcs had fallen upon its elven guards and retaken the tower. Many Elves now stood guard on the border between Northern and Southern Mirkwood to prevent any Orcish forays northward from Dol Guldur, but it had not been worth the risk to try to win back the tower. Now Gandalf began to believe that such neglect had been a serious mistake. So many Orcs swarmed out from the tower as they approached that for a moment he feared that the Dark Lord had once again taken up residence in Dol Guldur and that he was to be dragged before him. Suddenly he wished he had furnished his Orc captors with dinner, as that undoubtedly would have been a far less painful way to go. Moreover, by dying in that fashion, he would not have revealed any important information to Sauron.
The Dark Lord had not, however, returned to Dol Guldur, and the prisoners were merely to be taken to a chamber where they would be held, Gandalf gathered from snatches of grunted conversation between his captors, until such time as they could be transported to Mordor.
The Orcs dragged their prisoners up several flights of stairs and then kicked open to door to a dusty room whose floor was littered with cracked and shattered bones. Gandalf did not care to think of whose bones they may have been or the manner in which their owners may have met their death. And he certainly didn't want to think what had happened to the bodies after their owners had died.
The Orcs dumped Gollum unceremoniously upon the floor, and Gandalf felt for him as his skull cracked upon the flagstones.
"You had better remove that gag from the creature's mouth," he said to their captors, "for he looks more than a little faint. Your master will not be pleased should he perish."
That latter consideration worked on the minds of the Orcs, for they knew their master would indeed be angry should the creature die before he could be properly 'questioned'. On that score, and not for any more sentimental reason, they grudgingly yanked the gag from Gollum's mouth, leaving him gasping and blinking.
Having dealt with Gollum, the Orcs once again turned their attention to the wizard. His staff was carelessly tossed onto the center of a greasy table that looked as if it had been used as a butcher's block, and he himself was pushed down to the floor. It no longer being necessary that he should be able to walk, his ankles, like Gollum's, were now tightly bound. After satisfying themselves that both his ankles and his wrists were well secured, the Orcs swaggered out the door, shouting insults and obscenities over their shoulders as they went.
Once the heavy door had clanged shut behind them, Gandalf at once set about trying to escape. It seemed to him that he only tool available to help him effect his escape was his fellow traveler, and he wasted no time in appealing to him.
"Gollum," said Gandalf, "if you will help me, I will help you."
The creature stared suspiciously at the wizard from beneath its heavily-lidded eyes.
"Helps us, it says, Precioussss. Helps us to our death, it will, yessss, Precious!"
"No," Gandalf assured him. "I have no wish to hurt you. I swear upon my staff that I will help you to escape if you will help me."
"No handses, no feets. Can't help," said Gollum with a sort of resigned cheerfulness.
"It is true that you are bound hand and foot, as am I. But you have your teeth, which are uncommonly sharp, even if few in number. If you gnaw through the ropes that secure my hands, I will be able to untie you."
"Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, raw, raw, raw, maw, maw, maw," chanted Gollum mournfully. The creature stared speculatively at the wizard, and Gandalf began to feel quite uncomfortable about the throat. Gollum, as always, looked famished.
"Gollum," he said, somewhat desperately, "there are a great many tasty things to eat in the forest. Don't you want to return to the forest?"
"Tasty, yesss," hissed Gollum. "Babiessss."
Gandalf devoutly hoped that Gollum meant baby animals.
Gollum licked his lips. "Yesss, baby Orcses there isss, Preciousss."
Gandalf had lifted his head from the floor, and now in relief he let it thunk down upon the flagstones.
"Yes," the wizard said eagerly. "Baby Orcs. Tender and tasty! Mmmm."
"Won't share with it," said Gollum hastily. "No, we won't, will we, Precious!"
Gandalf hastened to reassure him.
"Gollum, I swear to you that I will never eat an Orc. They do not agree with me at all!"
"Swearsss, does it, Precioussss. Won't eat no Orcses. But p'raps it's tricksy, yesss, Precious. Didn't say it wouldn't eat no babiesss, it didn't."
"Gollum, I will eat no Orc, not the grown ones, not the babies. But if you will free my hands, I will free you in return, and then you can eat as many baby Orcs as you wish!"
The creature considered for several more minutes, hissing and mumbling to himself. Then suddenly he began to writhe and wriggle his way toward the wizard, who held his breath, for until the last minute he could not be sure of Gollum's intentions. Thankfully, the creature ignored Gandalf's throat and wiggled about until his teeth could grip the bonds securing the wizard's hands. Gandalf had to suppress as a shudder as he felt the creature's clammy breath and sharp teeth upon his skin. Gollum had strong jaws from decades of chewing raw food, and within minutes the wizard's hands were free. Wincing, he sat up, rubbing the feeling back into his hands.
"Will it keepsss its promise, Precious? Will it?" hissed Gollum.
"I will indeed," retorted Gandalf, who knew he had nothing to gain and much to lose if he left Gollum in the hands of the Orcs. Although his fingers were still stiff, he laboriously undid the knots that secured Gollum's bonds. Then each prisoner turned his attention to the cords that tied his feet. Soon both were entirely free of their bonds. In a trice, Gollum was out the window, and Gandalf knew that, lizard-like, the creature would crawl down the tower and scuttle away into the surrounding woods.
"Now how am I to get out?" the wizard muttered. The wizard picked up his staff and stole to the door. Locked. He could use his staff to burst it asunder, but even if he did there was still the matter of the hundreds of Orcs who stood between him and safety. They would hear the explosive crack of the disintegrating door and come swarming up the stairs. Even if he got by them, they would pursue him every step of the way to the Great Hall. Somehow he needed to contrive to slip out in some fashion as would not attract attention. He required a head start and time to cover his tracks.
Gandalf walked to the window and gazed down. The chamber in which he was held was about thirty feet from the ground. Not as bad as being in an uttermost chamber, but too far to jump. Gandalf removed both his surcoat and his tunic and commenced to tear these garments into strips with which he fashioned a rope. Once finished, he secured the rope to the heaviest piece of furniture in the room and paid it out the window. Still ten feet short.
"I suppose," mused Gandalf, "I could tear up my leggings, but I think the drop is now manageable. I don't fancy running about Mirkwood altogether in the altogether. If I should die, I would like to do so with both my boots and my pants on."
With that, he slipped his staff into his belt, took hold of the rope, and carefully let himself down. When he reached the end of the rope, he dangled from it so that he was as near the ground as possible. Then he let go, bending at the knees so he would not hit stiff-legged.
He did not fare all that badly. When he landed, his left ankle twisted under him, and a sharp pain shot up his leg, but as he examined it, he was convinced that it was a sprain and not a break.
"It shall hobble and slow me, but it will bear some weight, enough for me to limp onward."
Groaning a little, Gandalf used his staff to lever himself up, and then he limped for all he was worth toward the shelter of the trees. He had succeeded in escaping unnoticed from Dol Guldur. He hoped that his Orc captors would be most negligent and allow hours to pass before they checked on their captives.
As he moved painfully on, it began to drizzle.
"Good!" he exclaimed with a surge of relief. The Orcs were poor trackers, but they did have wargs that might nose out his trail. The rain, however, would make their task more difficult.
The rain fell harder and harder. Gandalf allowed himself to hope that any and all trace of his going would be washed clean away. For once the weather was in his favor.
Unknown to Gandalf, however, he was already being followed. Sharp eyes had watched his descent from the tower, and now the owner of those eyes fell into step behind him, always keeping himself hidden but never permitting the wizard to draw too far ahead. And thus on and on the wizard limped, shadowed each and every step of the way.