Becoming What?
mistymidnight
Summary: Dawn's thoughts after Buffy runs away between seasons two and three.
Author's Notes: Ah, my aching neck. It hurts to sit and type, but I felt like updating anyway, so there!
After Mom and I finished looking through the bag, Willow left. I didn't really expect her to stay. After all, I hate her now. I have to keep reminding myself of this. One side of me wants to talk to her. She was Buffy's best friend, practically her other—better, if you ask me—half, and she might help with all the loneliness. But the other part of me is mad, mad at all of them for keeping such a huge thing from me. Why don't they think I'm trustworthy? Maybe I'm a bad person. Maybe if a vampire was going to eat me or something, I'd tattle on all of them.
But I never got a chance to find out.
But maybe now I can.
While Willow was over ,she mentioned something about patrol. Tonight. Maybe I can get out. There's this girl down the street, Janice, who can cover for me. Her mom is always working at her law firm. I can tell Mom I'm going to Janice's, and if she calls while I'm supposed to be there, Janice can cover and tell her I'm asleep or in the bathroom or something. Mom would never let me go out on patrol. That's how she lost Buffy, I guess.
So patrol was a bust. I chickened out. Plus, it was Janice's mom's day off. So, no-go.
Besides that, this is the last week of school for me. The elementary school is always the last school in town to get out for summer. All we do for the last week is play Connect-Four and hangman, but Mom makes me go anyway. It'll be so much easier to sneak out once summer gets here.
Mom went back to the gallery today. She sent me down the street to Mrs. Jameson's house after school. I hope I don't have to go there all summer. Her house smells like stale Cheerios and tuna fish.
The news finally got out about Buffy. It was in the police blotter in the paper a week ago. At first everything was normal, but now every day people come up to me and ask me if my sister killed somebody. I keep saying no. But then they ask if my sister is Buffy Summers, and I tell them yes. They usually say something like, "Then she is a killer!" and rub it all in my face. Kirstie says that to me on a daily basis. Every time she does, I want to cry.
Miss Strauss, my teacher, took me aside today. "Dawn," she said, "I've heard what the other students have been saying to you. I'm not here to ask whether what they're saying is true or not, but I wanted you to know that you have an extremely bright future, Dawn. Whatever may be going on at home and with your sister, I know you can rise above it. Just believe in your abilities."
I nodded, trying not to cry. Someone believed in me. Someone trusted me. Buffy and everyone obviously didn't trust me. Mom doesn't tell me anything. It's a refreshing change of pace.
When I left for the bus, Kirstie yelled, "Don't forget, Dawn! You hafta bring your big sis some cookies—in jail!"
I started for the bus.
You can rise above it.
I turned around and walked up to Kirstie. She smirked at me and run her finger along her eye, blending her eyeliner, which she has no point in wearing anyway. Mom says I'm too young to wear makeup, and, personally, I agree, especially if it makes me look like Kirstie, whose eyes always have some bluey-silver gunk smeared all over them.
"Did you read the rest of the article?" I asked her. "How she's skipped town?"
Kirstie chuckled. "If I lived with you, I'd skip town, too."
"How do you know I'm not gonna go home and call her up and tell her that you're bothering me?"
Kirstie may be dumb, but she isn't completely brain dead. "S-so what?" she demanded. But I could see it. She was afraid.
"All I'm saying is, it might not be a good idea to make the sister of a possible murderer angry."
I turned around and went to my bus, leaving her there. I'll remember the look on her face for the rest of my life.
I won.
In the middle of the night I woke up. Something was in Buffy's room. I ran in. There was nobody there. There never is. I always wake up because I hear something, but it's always nothing. It will always be nothing.
Buffy's gone. And it's time I accepted it.
Okay, another update done! More soon!
mistymidnight