Title: Angel
Disclaimer: CSI is not mine but one of the girls said that she'd share Eric with me for a weekend. Lyrics belong to Sarah McLachlan's song Angel (first verse)
Dedication: For a real angel.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
"I don't know what happening between us," Sara's voice was so soft I couldn't help but smile. I'd waited so long for this.
"Do you want something to happen?" I held my breath, praying she'd say yes, praying she wouldn't run from me. Her arms were still around my neck, fingers still playing with my hair.
"I want to try. I want to see where this goes. I don't know if can or if I'll be any good at this…" I cut her off with a sweet kiss.
"You'll try?" I asked knowing I sounded like an over excited kid but I didn't care. She laughed, God I love it when she smiles like that.
"Yeah," Sara mumbled against me lips. "For you I'll try.
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
3 months later
"Hey gorgeous," I smile at her as I entered the empty break room. She scowls slightly at me and my heart misses a beat.
"I thought we said not at work," her eyes flash in anger. "You said you wouldn't push me to tell them." I know what's happening. She always tries to push me away. Things had been going so well but the last week…
"I'm not pushing, no-one knows." I can see the anger in her stance. Grissom walks through the door and it's like I don't exist. She smiles at him. The anger's gone as well. She's another person. She's Sara Sidle, perfect CSI. She touches Grissom's arm as she leaves the room. I hate him. I can respect and look up to him but when she's in the room I hate him.
Shift ends and I go to find her, only she's not alone. She's with him, laughing, smiling. Her lips, that I know are so very soft, touch his.
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
A vodka bottle later and she's still not home. I stare at the old scars that lace the tops of my arms. Tiny traces, spider web thin, that told the life I had before her. She made me want to live. She let me live a lie.
Cherry droplets. Hard to think that the liquid dripping from my wrist is what keeps you alive. It's lost so very easily. It's doesn't even hurt. Another slice, deeper this time. More blood. A lot more. Memories fade and only her smile remains. We left each other.
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
Greg Sanders
1975 – 2005
'In the arms of the angels'
Okay pls don't kill me. Hides I'm totally in love with Eric Szmanda, only I killed off Nick yesterday in my other fic and didn't really want to pick on him again, andI really can't see Sara being with Warrick. Let me know what you think. - Cas