Coffeetime Part 2: Moving on to better things
Info:
whoever says/does something:
/actions/
thoughts
(some useless comments the writers considered necessary)
(some other useless comments the writers considered necessary)
announcements
First we wanna thank and honour all of you who have read and reviewed our story. We love receiving reviews! To all of you who've read the story but were to lazy to review: I hope you liked it and would you please send in a message this time/desperate voice/
Second: Sorry for not updating in the longest time. School has been unbelievably unreasonable and with the removal of "Facing the elements" our account was blocked for a week /growl/. Well, to all of you who do read this story at the moment: Enjoy!
Recap:
What happened last time:
Jessica flooded the set and was almost wetting her jeans thanks to some jeans, Yami Yugi became a carrot, Seto Kaiba marched in happy as ever, Yami Bakura and Yami Marik were in desperate need for a straitjacket and Esther was trying to keep the damage to a minimum with no hosts in sight.
Will Esther succeed? Read on and find out!
Yippee! I just flooded the set, pulled someone's pants down and look who's there to brighten up my day? Of course… Sir Seto "Sunshine" Kaiba!
The dark gloom got noticed by Esther and she knew that danger was upon the world.
"You baka… Shouldn't it be wise to give the guy his jeans ba…"
She suddenly felt a cold shiver working its way up her spine.
The shiver was caused by a hysterical Yami, clutching tightly onto her arm.
"MIRROR! Give me a mirror!" The poor ex-pineapple was almost in tears.
Esther pulled up an eyebrow and angled a mirror from her pocket. She handed it over.
Yami snatched it away and studied his carrot haircut. Of course, as every yami with non-spiky hair would do, he freaked out and hid behind a décor piece to cry.
Promptly, Jessica walked away from the person who she just publicly (means in front of the whole country) had embarrassed and she tried to overlook the flooded chaos.
"Lets see," she said to herself. "First we have to get this studio dry again and something tells me that a hairdryer won't be enough."
She tried to convince someone of the crew to get her a megasized stove, but that person told her it wasn't part of his contract. She sighed and tried to get some other people to clean the mess. This meant she handed the unoccupied Esther a mop.
Esther, as the kind and caring person she was, is and will be forever, blew Jessica's illusion of ever helping her and just leaned on the thing, talking to Marik and Bakura.
In the end Jessica got the ridiculous idea that Kaiba might be of some help and threw him a bucket of soapsuds. For two reasons this plan wasn't as bright as it had seemed.
1) The fact she forgot to warn Kaiba for flying buckets and he got the thing thrown at the back of his head.
2) The fact that the bucket flew upwards, don't ask this poor little storyteller how or why, it just did, and fell back down, landing right over the huge brain container.
At seeing this, Esther, Marik and Bakura almost died of laughter. Come on, you serious people, just try to imagine… Kaiba + magical flying bucket + soapsuds …
Jessica looked suspiciously at the whole incident.
Buckets don't fly…
At least not when they aren't around.
She threw look #36 at Esther who secretly hid the control panel behind her back.
Seto Kaiba finally realized what shut the lights off and pulled the bucket from his head. Out came a little antenna. He studied it and then the rest of the bucket.
"Who put that helicopter engine in here?"
He looked up and saw look #36, aimed at:
One big, semi innocent smile.
One big, psycho smile.
One big, psycho, twitchy smile.
By now, the guy-without-jeans had put his jeans back on and was sneaking up on Jessica to carry out his revenge.
Suddenly everyone on the set was startled by the ding-donging of a certain intercom.
DING DONG! MAY WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
This is an absolutely live show and the cameras are still running!
DING DONG! END OF MESSAGE
Seto Kaiba decided that these people were unworthy to pay any more attention to and left them standing there with their creepy smiles. He had more important things to do. Looking for the toilets and fixing his hair for example (something told him that, because of the bucket episode, he now looked less like a light bulb and more like Harry Potter stuck in a washing machine).
Jessica sighed, stopped casting look #36 and turned around to come face to face with the guy-without-no-jeans.
EEP O.O Now might be the right time to run!
She ran. And how! All the horses in the wild, wild, west couldn't catch up with her even if they were on dope.
Jessica looked wide eyed at the storyteller. "I'm getting some really freaky thoughts here…"
The storyteller, yeah, me, ignored her and carried on with the storytelling.
Jessica's mother always told her three things:
1) Stay polite
2) Eat with your mouth closed
3) If you see someone who's out to kill you, go to the US, buy a gun and go trigger happy on him. If that's not an option, you'd better have a head start.
Marik, Bakura and Esther wiped their smiles away and looked at Jessica being chased around the set. Lets say they were more than amused. Lets say the smiles came back, bigger than ever.
Meanwhile Kaiba had reached the toilets.
Damn, no mirrors… How the hell am I supposed to look where I'm combing?
/PLING/
It was the sound of an idea plinging into his head.
Oh, I know! I can use my reflection in the toilet!
He bent over the toilet seat, in great satisfaction with his superior intelligence.
On the set, Jessica was still running from the guy-without-no-jeans. "HELP ME!" (and some help she could use, considering the guy-without-no-jeans was catching up. Too bad Marik, Bakura and Esther were too busy laughing their asses of to listen.)
Suddenly a sudden sound startled all someones on the set
/SPLASH/
Everyone looked in the direction of the public convenience that was only public to the studio people.
Seto Kaiba came walking out. He was even more soaked than before, but still had his famous, emotionless expression. He leaned against a pillar.
Everyone blinked, shrugged and got back to their original business.
Jessica still ran and noticed the fact of the guy-without-no-jeans catching up.
Ok, now would be a good time to come up with a miraculous plan…
She saw a huge fan standing in some deserted corner.
Bingo!
She ran up to it, turned to the jeans guy and threw him evil look. #7
"STAND STILL OR I'LL BLOW YOU OUT OF YOUR BRAINS WITH THIS EVIL SUPER FAN 3000!"
The sounds of many anime falls could be heard.
The guy-without-no-jeans just smirked and stepped forward.
Jessica turned on the fan.
The evil super fan 3000 started blowing.
The guy without no jeans felt a soft breeze stroking his hair.
"Damn the guy's still standing!" Jessica thought out loud. "Time for some heavy artillery!"
She switched the fan to hurricane mode.
The evil super fan 3000 turned on a secret jet engine, that was hidden somewhere in its back and started blowing several objects (including people) around.
Yami was still hiding when his cover got literally blown. He looked around to discover the one responsible for this. He didn't find anyone, but when he looked behind him he saw a big bulb of people (consisting of YM, YB and E) flying in his direction.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed the bulb.
Yami's eyes turned to saucers.
/CRASH/
At the other side of the set, Kaiba was clinging onto the pillar.
The pillar felt that someone was clinging onto him and remembered that it wasn't built for such abuse. So it decided it might be a good plan to fall down.
Kaiba felt the pillar leaning over, ready to crash down. He couldn't help his panicking, but somehow managed not to show and started climbing.
My dear listeners… It's time for me to let you all use your limited imagination. Ever seen an apathetic monkey climbing on a pillar? Yes, good… Laughing is good…
The pillar fell down.
Just at that moment we could hear a somewhat muffled and pissed of voice yelling all over the set.
"AGH! MARIK, GET OFF ME YOU PERVERTED PALM TREE!"
Marik sounded, if possible, even more muffled and pissed off.
"Don't worry, if I could choose where to land, it would not be on you! And certainly not under that pineapple-headed pharaoh!" He tried to get up. To his regret and our amusement, (use that imagination dear listeners) without much success.
"I'M NOT A PINEAPPLE!" Yami screamed.
"Yes you are!" said Bakura.
Yami turned some weird, suspicious shade of orange.
"GET OFF ME YOU DEMENTED TOMBROBBER!"
In the meantime Jessica finally managed to shut the fan off. "Me and technology," she muttered while throwing her beloved sledgehammer aside. She cast a melancholic look at what once was an evil super fan 3000 with hurricane mode.
Kaiba got up and wiped all the dust off his trench coat. Somehow the pillar hadn't turned him to CEO mousse. He looked around and noticed he stood on another set.
Esther felt herself getting nearly squashed by the weight of several spirits. "How much do you guys eat? GET OFF ME!" she yelled, now close to panicking.
"I'd be glad to," Yami said, "but someone, who has white hair, a police record about the size of Marik's head and very, and I mean very pointy elbows, refuses to get off me!"
"SHUT IT PHARAOH!" Bakura elbowed him in the stomach.
"AHKGH"
Yami's chameleon powers made him blend in with Marik's cloak.
"First..." Marik said, "my head isn't big... Second... you're breaking my back! And THIRD... GET OFF ME BEFORE I MAKE YOU!" He tried to throw Yami Yugi off him.
"Air... I... need... air..." Esther's face turned an unhealthy shade of blue.
Jessica stood next to the pile of people with an anime sweat drop about the size of Marik's head.
Marik hit the storyteller, yeah, me, on the head.
"My head is NOT big!" he yelled in utter embarrassment.
I ignored him as much as I could and carried on fulfilling my dear job.
For Jessica, there were two options. She could watch the amusement for a little while longer and let her friend choke (literally). She could also tell them about the new set Kaiba found, save her friend with it and have even more fun...
Decisions, decisions...
She cleared her throat. "Hey guys, Kaiba just found another set."
Marik, Bakura, Yami and Esther immediately stopped elbowing, attempting to use each other as basketballs, switching colors and choking.
"So?" they said in stereo.
Jessica's sweat drop got even bigger. "It's the set of a gameshow, has plenty of stupid people to kill or brainwash and even more people with golden watches, necklaces and bracelets waiting to be stolen… I thought you might be interested in…"
She looked up, only to discover that they already left at the word "gameshow."
She sighed.
"Oh happy day."
Esther: /singing/ Oh happy day… oh happy day… (hehe, sister act)
Jessica: ...not really in to that, I'm afraid... Besides, isn't it time for your daily dose of Prozac or something?
Esther: You're confusing me with yourself, dear girl...
Jessica: I don't do Prozac...TOO HEAVY. Anyway... Shouldn't this be the part were we ask our dear readers /looks around in order to spot them, but sees the BIG, EMPTY, HOLLOW, space with perhaps two people instead/ to review us?
Esther: Whatever, reviewjunkie... Ow, you know what we have to do now? Ask people for reviews! So people... REVIEW PLEASE! or else I'm going to chase you with my biiig scythe and add your head to my collection! (already containing several teachers, bitches with too big earrings and the Easter bunny)
Jessica: Thanks for the help... /being totally sarcastic/ Here, take some Prozac...
Esther: Want me to add your head to the collection too/starts cleaning scythe/
Jessica: /sweat drops/ There won't be a next chapter if you don't spare me, oh almighty one /sarcasm/
Esther: That sounds more like it :D
Jessica: rrrrrrright...well, for the people who are going to review: thank you /bows for almighty readers (no sarcasm this time)/
And before we forget: Would you mind reading our story: Future memories? It was our very first fanfic, yet we received not a single review... /gets all emotional/
Esther: ah, poor girl... Actually... I'm very upset too... T.T
SO IF YOU DON'T! MEET THE SCYTHE/swings scythe/
/two white suits walk in the room/
Wite suit #1: Someone called us to pick up a luna with a scythe.
Esther: O.O eep/runs/
Wite suit #2: THERE SHE IS/follows/
Esther: First the FBI... Now THIS... but I'm not going to listen this time... YO! MEET MY HEADCOLLECTION/swings scythe/
Jessica: ... Finally figured out your birthday present: a straitjacket. Or do you think you'll be blessed with one of those in a short amount of time?
Esther: No worries... Birthday is fine... These guys aren't going to be able to give me anything anyway... /evil grin/
Jessica: /while listening to the opening of D.N. Angel(this anime has me captured! They made it so well, and the quality is unbelievable! The opening is cool and beautiful and...that wasn't what I was going to say…/sighs/)/ I think it's about time for the disclaimer…
Esther: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Coffeetime or Who Am I (Dutch versions included) or any hosts and their names. We also don't own Harry Potter or Daniel Radcliff's hairdo (Thank Ra we don't!). Now on to what we do own. /maniacal laugh/ We do own ourselves (look #7, #36 etc. included), the evil super fan 3000 and the guy-without-no-jeans.
Jessica: We also don't own sister act or D.N. Angel (So find another reason if you want to sue us!)
Till next time!