Thanks to the following reviewers for egging me on: Mystwing, Dragonfly, Joee, Tracey, Vicki Turner, Andi-Black and Kelly Kragen (Yes, you're right. Legolas—all Elves actually—uses bird calls to signal to his friends).
Tracey: Thanks for getting back to me. Yes, I don't think all Men would be hostile to Elves. Some would be prejudiced: fearful of people that they were unfamiliar with or unable to understand. Some, on the other hand, would trade with Elves, like the people of Dorwinia. In my version of Middle Earth, some of the Dunlendings do fear Elves, but Hyge's family has benefited from their contact with the Elves and have nothing but respect for them.
Beta Reader: Dragonfly.
Chapter 48: Matters Come To A Head
Glorfindel gazed about the marsh, ignoring the midges that flitted about his face. He had sent Legolas and Aragorn this way in jest, but the Men they were pursuing had come here for another reason. Most travelers kept to the Great East Road. That these Men had not could mean only one thing: they wished to remain hidden, their movements undescried by the Men and Hobbits of Bree-land. Judging from the tale that Hyge had told of these Men, the motive for their secrecy was unlikely to be a good one.
Celaithand and Thoron came to stand beside Glorfindel. Both of them had undisguised fear upon their faces, although not for themselves. Legolas had been of their cohort, and they knew that their friend was all too likely to cross paths with the Men whom they pursued.
"Lord Glorfindel," said Thoron anxiously, "shall we go no further tonight?"
Glorfindel shook his head.
"Tonight the moon is hidden by clouds, and the path is treacherous. We dare go no further."
Celaithand began to speak.
"But Lord Glorfindel—"
"Nay, Celaithand," Glorfindel said, not unkindly. "I know you fear for Legolas, but you will be no help to him if you expend your energy flailing about in this mire. Nor are you like to arrive the quicker. Rest now—as much as the midges will permit!—and we shall resume our journey at first light, I promise you."
Reluctantly, Celaithand and Thoron did as they were bidden. Glorfindel, too, went to his rest reluctantly, finding it difficult to follow his own advice. He had once passed Legolas off as his son, and truly no father could feel more affection for his child than Glorfindel felt for Legolas. He feared for Aragorn's safety as well, for he knew Elrond would be heartbroken if anything happened to his young kinsman and foster-son.
The next morning, when Glorfindel arose he found all the Elves standing ready to depart, each having broken fast on a bite of lembas and a sip of water. Honoring their desire to see to their friends' safety, Glorfindel at once gave orders for them to move out, breaking his own fast as they marched.
As Glorfindel and his Elves were resuming their journey through Midgewater Marsh, Aragorn was beginning his third day in the camp of the Men who had captured him. He once more took care to awake before Saul did, and he made a great show of respond to all orders with great speed and diligence. For all that, however, he had no opportunity to overhear any conversations that shed any light on the Men's reason for journeying to the outskirts of the Shire.
At the end of the day, Aragorn again lay down to sleep. As he rested with eyes closed, he heard footsteps and knew them to be those of the Chief. He slowed and deepened his breathing.
"Sleeps well, that one," said the Chief.
"Aye. Had to kick 'im awake the first mornin'. He's been an early riser ever since."
Saul chuckled, and for a moment Aragorn had to struggle with his anger to keep from giving himself away.
"I'll tell ye, Chief," Saul continued, "couldn' blame 'im if 'e did sleep late. It's bin hurry up 'n' wait these past few days. When'er we gonna see some loot?"
"Soon. Soon. Waitin' fer one last scout to get back from Bree. Then we'll move on 'em. Steal ev'rythin' that's not nailed down, snatch us some o' those Halflings, kill the rest, and burn ev'rythin' so no one won't know we've got us prisoners."
"Why snatch the runts? There's Men among the Bree folk. Whyn't we steal some o' their boys? Boys'd be more useful than Halflings. They can tote for us now, 'n' then they grow up to wield swords. Halfling runts, even the grown ones, like as not couldn't even pick up a sword!"
"True. Gen'r'ly I would say kill the Halflings and snatch the boys, but we hain't stealin' 'em fer ourselves. I've got a buyer what will pay a premium for ev'ry runt we kin deliver."
"Really?" said Saul eagerly.
"Aye, 'n' after we hit Bree, we're gonna raid that strip o' land they call Buckland. There's one dwelling there swarmin' with runts. We'll snatch a few, burn down the place, 'n' nobody'll be the wiser.
"Wonder why they're so valuable," said Saul thoughtfully. "And who wants 'im so much?"
"Don' know why they're so valuable, an' don' care," said the Chief carelessly. "Just as long as they are valuable."
The two Men chortled.
"Not sure who wants'em, neither," the Chief continued. "Never did see the Man's face. Kept 'is hood up the whole time. But I seen 'is gold—and it was shiny enough. Good thing we already got a fair number o' boys, cause we'll need 'em to haul bags 'n' bags of it."
"And the loot from Bree," Saul reminded him.
"Aye, that, too," the Chief chuckled. "Well, I'd best check the sentries. They hain't been too doo-tee-ful lately."
"Why bother? You hain't afraid of no Halflings, are ye?"
"No, but those Rangers wander here from time to time. Murderous creatures, they be."
"Ugh," shuddered Saul. "Rangers! Wouldn't want to encounter one o' them."
Once again Aragorn struggled to control himself, this time to keep from smiling. He heard the Chief move away, and at last he allowed himself to sleep.
In the morning Aragorn strolled to the stream, still forcing himself to walk slowly. As he knelt on the bank, he urgently told Legolas what he had heard.
"So they await the return from Bree of one of their spies," said Legolas thoughtfully.
"Aye."
"But if he is long in coming, they will continue to wait—at least for a little while."
"You mean to delay the spy's return?"
"Yes," said Legolas, stroking his bow. "Yes, I do believe I shall."
Just then a quarrel broke out in the camp. Two of the Men were rolling in the dirt, flailing and punching at each other. Other Men rushed to separate them.
"Aragorn," Legolas said suddenly, "fetch me an arrow from the quiver of one of those Men. Be sure you know whose it is."
Aragorn arose and hurried back to Saul's campfire. As he neared it, he tripped and spilled the water in the kettle on Saul's bedroll.
"You idiot!" shouted Saul, advancing on Aragorn with fists clenched.
Aragorn cowered at his feet.
"I'm sorry, Master Saul! I'm sorry! I'll fetch more water straight away, I will. An', an', an', seein' as how yer blankit is wet 'n' muddy, I'll wash it. Yes, sir, Master Saul," he blubbered, "I'll wash it white as snow."
"It's a green blanket, ye fool, but wash it you will. And I want me boots polished agin!"
"Yes, sir, Master Saul. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Watching this performance, Legolas grinned. He knew that Aragorn had a bit of a flair for the dramatic, but he had not been aware of the full extent of Aragorn's histrionic talent. He tucked the knowledge away for future reference, for it occurred to him that he should enlist Aragorn into his next scheme for playing a trick on Elrohir and Elladan, one which might require a bit of play-acting.
Aragorn stumbled about the camp, dropping and picking up the blanket several times. At last he made his way to the stream. As he unrolled the blanket, an arrow came to light, which he hid in a patch of ferns. He also drew forth his sword, and likewise hid it in the ferns. Legolas raised his eyebrows and for a moment looked like a golden-haired version of Lord Elrond, but he forbore commenting upon the sword.
"Whose arrow is it?" asked Legolas.
"It came from the quiver of the Man with the red edging on his tunic."
"Not the Man with the silver belt buckle?"
"No."
"Good."
Aragorn washed the blanket and spread it to dry on a bush, knowing all the while that Legolas was watching the camp. At length the inevitable happened. The Man with the red edging on his tunic stepped into the woods to make water. Aragorn was glad to see that he took his bow with him. Almost as soon as the Man disappeared into the woods, Legolas struck. The Man with the silver belt buckle, who had but lately been fighting with the other Man, suddenly collapsed onto his face. An arrow protruded from his back. Other Men swarmed around. One pointed at the arrow.
"Hey, that's Jackson's fletching!"
"The murderous thug!" shouted another.
"Well, König shouldn'ha meddled with him," protested a third, a friend to Jackson, apparently. The Men began to choose sides. First shoves, next blows, then knife thrusts, and as quick as Orcs the Men had launched into a mêlée. Swearing furiously, the Chief laid about him with a cudgel, trying to break apart the brawlers, but before he could do so, three more were dead and seven wounded, two dreadfully so. Among the dead lay Jackson, who had, upon reappearing, been set upon by four Men at once.
Aragorn contrived to hide his satisfaction at the outcome by huddling with the boys and looking frightened. His only disappointment: Saul was not among the dead, and now he shouted at Aragorn to come help haul the four bodies into the woods.
"We need to take 'em far enough so's they don' stink up the camp," growled Saul. That was all the ceremony that the Men provided for disposing of their erstwhile companions.
When they returned from dumping the bodies, Saul discovered that Aragorn's sword was missing. He flew into a fury, assuming that one of the other Men had stolen it. He stormed around the camp, kicking over packs and shouting accusations. Now Aragorn had the even greater satisfaction of seeing the Chief, who was already maddened by the brawl and attendant loss of Men, suddenly turn on Saul. He rushed at Saul with his cudgel, struck him down, and proceeded to kick him viciously until the Man was groveling and begging for mercy. Then he spat upon him and walked away, gesturing at Aragorn to follow him.
"You, boy" he snarled. "You serve me from now on. That other one can fend fer himself."
Actually, at that moment Saul did not particularly look as if he could fend for himself, but that was not Aragorn's concern. He obediently followed the Chief to his campfire, and the Man handed him the camp kettle. The day grew late, and it was time to prepare the evening meal. Aragorn strolled to the stream. He had seen no sign of Legolas since the Elf had dispatched Hugo and precipitated the riot. Was the Elf still near? He saw and heard nothing. Not knowing whether to be disappointed or hopeful, he returned to the Chief's campfire.
The next morning, as he knelt by the stream a stick fell upon his head.
"Legolas!" he protested in a whisper.
"Sorry. Couldn't resist. It's amusing to see you behaving with so meekly. Thought I might as well take advantage of it while it lasts."
"Did you intercept the spy?"
"Oh, yes," Legolas said casually. "He won't be reporting back to camp anytime soon. And I went on to Bree and had a word with Butterbur. The Bree-landers will be ready to give these Men a fine reception. You may be sure that they will spare no effort to welcome the scoundrels just as they deserve."
"That's good, but the Periannath of Buckland still know nothing of the peril that hangs over them."
"Ah, but if the Bree-folk deal with these villains properly, there won't be any peril hanging over the Hobbits. And now, Aragorn, as all is arranged, will you slip away from these Men?"
"Legolas, if I run off now, they are the likelier to be on their guard when they attack Bree, for they will fear that I have spread word of their presence. No, I must remain with them."
"Aragorn!"
"Don't worry, my friend. I am not in danger. But those boys are. That's another reason I need to stay. I don't want them to be caught up in the Bree-landers' ambush."
"Aragorn, the Bree-landers won't kill children."
"They wouldn't set out to kill children. But if things are going ill for those Men, they would think nothing of thrusting swords into the hands of those boys and pushing them into the front lines. If I were a Bree-lander and someone came at me swinging a sword, I would kill him, be he bearded or no."
"True."
"Good. We are agreed then. I will stay with the Men. You trail us. Oh, and do be sure to bring along my sword."
"Of course."
Aragorn arose and returned to the Chief's campfire. During the night, the two badly injured Men died, and the Chief decided that they would wait no longer for the missing scout.
"The Men are gettin' jumpy," he muttered to himself, watching as yet another shoving match broke out. "If we stay here much longer, they'll kill each other off one by one."
The Men cheered when the Chief told them that they would march to Bree that day and attack it as soon as night fell. As they hastily broke camp, he called to Aragorn.
"Six Men be dead. You are tall and strong, older than most boys we take on."
"You mean 'kidnap'," Aragorn thought grimly to himself, but aloud he said nothing.
"I'm goin' to make ye wealthy, lad. You carry a sword tonight, and you'll share in the booty. Seems like you'd want to profit from it, as you'll have to carry it," he chortled.
Aragorn pretended to be frightened.
"I hain't never fought no Bree-landers," he whimpered.
"Mebbe not, but y'told me you fought an Elf."
"You-you-you were right, sir," Aragorn stammered. "I didn't tell you the entire truth about how I came by that sword."
Which was true, of course. He had told the truth, but not the entire truth.
Luckily, the Chief did not become angry, for he immediately succumbed to self-congratulation at his having been right.
"Hah! I thought so. Tell ye what, then, you guard the boys—that'd free up another Man fer the attack."
"Oh, yes, sir—that's somethin' I kin do. Thank you, sir."
The Chief strutted off feeling very satisfied with himself. Aragorn seized the camp kettle and made one last trip to the stream. Shortly thereafter, a lithe figure silently slipped from a tree, retrieved a sword from its hiding place, and hastened off ahead of the marauders, making for Bree. Once there, Legolas found a new hiding place for the sword, this time in a hollow tree that had been left lying in a field near Bree. It was a spot that he had scouted in company with Aragorn. After hiding the sword, he went on to Bree, pulling up his hood as he did so.
"So they will attack tonight," said Butterbur anxiously, placing a mug of ale in front of his hooded guest. It was not Legolas' favorite beverage, but he did not wish to draw attention to that fact. He picked up the mug and took a sip, trying not to be too delicate about it.
"Aye, Master Butterbur. They march this way as we speak."
"Well, I'm bound to believe ye, Master Leif, as you've proved yourself honest in the past. I'll rouse the folk hereabouts. We'll see that the walls are defended!"
"Good. These scoundrels do not expect any resistance. Although the Men and Hobbits of Bree are no warriors, they will be defending their lives and their families. I do not doubt but that they will be able to hold off thieves who fight for loot only and who in the end will value their hides over anything they may be able to carry off from your town. For myself, I will take up a position with my bow on a roof facing the direction from which the marauders will attack."
"Ah, you have some skill as an archer?"
"Yes," Legolas said modestly. "I believe that I do."
By nightfall, Legolas was crouched behind a chimney on a house whose back faced the town's stockade. He could sense the approach of the marauders, even though he could not see them yet.
The Chief marched his Men into a field near Bree. Beyond a thin fringe of trees lay the town. He called to Aragorn.
"You stay here and guard the packs and the boys." He handed Aragorn a cudgel. "This should be enough to keep 'em in line. Don't hesitate to use it."
"No, sir."
Aragorn had no intention of using the cudgel, but he didn't think it would be necessary, anyhow. The boys were much too beaten down to think of resisting.
"Will have to cure them of that," Aragorn thought fiercely. "Warm clothes and plentiful food would probably go a long way toward restoring their spirits."
The Men marched away, and the boys dropped their packs and threw themselves upon the ground. Several were asleep within minutes. As for Aragorn, he sat down near the end of a hollow tree that had been left lying in the field. He seemed to be amusing himself by poking his cudgel into the opening in the log.
The marauders stopped in the cover of the line of trees and peered at the town as the sun sank toward the west. Smoke drifted from chimneys, and they heard the shouts of mothers calling their children in for the evening meal. The raiders saw no one about the stockade. The Chief grinned and slapped Saul on the back, apparently forgiving Saul for his earlier indiscretion. Saul winced as the Chief's hand landed on a bruise.
"Easy pickins', eh, Saul?"
"Yes, sir," mumbled Saul.
"You fight well, an' I'll give ye that boy back to carry yer loot."
Saul cheered up a trifle.
"Thankee, Chief."
The Chief waved aside his thanks in the fashion of a magnanimous leader. He returned to watching the town. The lights began to wink out in the houses. At length the Chief decided that it was time to move forward. The Men crept stealthily toward the walls of Bree. When they were just beneath them, suddenly the Men and Hobbits of Bree revealed themselves. They perched on the stockade and threw rocks and poured boiling water upon the would-be invaders. A few were armed with bows, although by far the greatest threat from arrows was represented by a hooded figure who was balanced upon a roof.
The Chief swore.
"Saul," he shouted. "We need'ta overwhelm 'em in a rush. Fetch the boys! We'll send 'em forward. That'll give us the cover we need."
Saul scuttled back to where the boys lay resting. He reached down and yanked one up by the arm.
"Yer gonna earn yer keep today," he snarled. "Yer goin' inter battle."
Fearfully, the boy twisted out of Saul's grip and backed away from the Man.
"I don' wanter fight," the boy gibbered.
Saul brandished his sword and advanced on the terrified child.
"Won't fight, ye brat? Then I'll cut yer throat."
"Not. If. I. Cut. Your. Throat. First," growled Aragorn, suiting his actions to his words. Saul fell dead at his feet. Stunned, the boys stared at Aragorn as he stood before them hefting his elven sword in both hands.
"Run, boys, run! But stay together and don't go too far."
The boys turned to make for the cover of the woods, but just then, there was an unexpected development. A company of Elves burst from the tree line, bows drawn. The boys shrieked and threw themselves on the ground. Aragorn ran toward the Elves shouting and waving his sword about like a mad person.
"Hold your fire! Hold your fire!"
Panting, he dashed up to Glorfindel and gestured at the cowering youths.
"They're only boys, Glorfindel. Look, they're not even armed!"
Glorfindel stared at him sardonically.
"We're Elves, Aragorn. Do you really think that we wouldn't have noticed that they're unarmed boys? Now, if you wouldn't mind, I hear the clash of weapons in the distance—elven hearing, you know—and I'd like to lead my warriors into the battle before it has concluded altogether."
Abashed, Aragorn stood aside, and Glorfindel's troops marched by. He considered following after them, but as soon as the Elves had passed, the boys clustered about him, looking at him expectantly.
"We will take shelter in the woods till all danger is past," he declared and then led them into the forest. His part in the battle was over for the day, and it was now his task to guide and to govern, small though the compass of this 'government' might be.
Glorfindel and his Elves advanced steadily toward Bree, but they did not in fact make it to the actual walls of the town before the battle ended. From his perch where he had been methodically picking off the attackers, Legolas at last found himself with a clear shot at the Chief. As soon as Legolas' arrow felled their leader, the other Men lost heart altogether and turned tail and ran—straight into the withering fire of Glorfindel's bowmen. They left none alive. Legolas had been right; after the rout at Bree, Buckland would no longer be in peril.
Seeing that the battle was over, Legolas now slipped out of Bree. He had never lowered his hood, and the Bree-landers were never to know that one of the Fair Folk had been amongst them. They were also never to know that a troop of Elves had marched almost to the very gates of their town, for as soon as the last of the attackers had been felled, Glorfindel ordered his archers to retrieve their shafts and retire to the forest, leaving the Bree-landers with quite a mystery on their hands, for they now had to account for the dead Men who were scattered in the fields outside their town.
Once Glorfindel and his warriors had rejoined Aragorn, Glorfindel had a very agreeable reunion with both Aragorn and Legolas. He pretended to cuff the ears on both of their heads. Then he stood back and allowed the younger Elves to swarm the two.
"Legolas," teased Celaithand, "can you go nowhere without getting into trouble?"
"I didn't get into trouble; Estel did. I came back from my journey to the Shire to find our camp in Buckland deserted. I set about tracking our missing Ranger and discovered his pack rifled, its contents strewn about—oh, yes, and some half-digested mushrooms." Here Legolas made a face. "What possessed you to eat those mushrooms, Aragorn?"
"I thought they were safe," Aragorn said lamely.
"Then you had better let Erestor give you a refresher course in Natural History!"
After allowing a considerable amount of this species of chaffing, Glorfindel at last stepped back into the conversation. There were matters that needed to be attended to. Glorfindel gestured at the youngsters who huddled together nearby, shivering with both cold and fear.
"What are we to do with these boys?"
"They are guilty," said Aragorn hastily, "of nothing more than of being kinless and friendless."
"Yes, I understand that," said Glorfindel impatiently. "But what are we to do with them?"
"I have been told," said Aragorn thoughtfully, "that when I was little I wandered so far from Rivendell that I fell into the hands of Dunlendings, and those folk tried to keep me because they suffered from a dearth of children."
"That's true," said Glorfindel. "I remember that well."
"They still suffer from a dearth of children, do they not?"
"I believe so. You think they might take in these boys?"
"Perhaps. It will not hurt to ask. They may take at least some of them."
Legolas had an additional suggestion.
"Butterbur has spoken of needing another boy or two. We might ask him as well. Indeed, he might not be the only Bree-lander who would take on a boy."
Early next morning, Aragorn slipped into Bree to make inquiries as to whether anyone needed a boy or two. In the end, four of the older boys found homes in Bree-land. The smith in Combe took one boy, the miller in Archet took another, and Butterbur took two into his employ. The Dunlendings, as Aragorn had expected, gladly adopted the remaining youngsters. Some families, like Hyge's, had succeeded in raising many healthy children, but theirs was the exception. In that harsh land, sturdy children who had survived the perils of infancy were therefore in great demand. The Elves could have brought twice as many boys to Dunland, and the Dunlendings would have taken them all. Aragorn, not to mention Middle Earth, was very, very lucky that Legolas had succeeded in tracking down the heir of Isildur that time long ago when he had wandered into the hands of those folk. Otherwise, it is easy to imagine his having become a farmer in Dunland!
Several weeks after departing from Rivendell, Legolas and Aragorn returned to Elrond's Hall.
"First thing I'm going to do," said Legolas happily, "is take a proper bath."
"You washed in that stream just yesterday," observed Aragorn.
"I said a proper bath, Aragorn."
However, Legolas' plans for a proper bath had to be put aside for the moment. Erestor arrived to summon them to Elrond's private chamber. Young Elf and young Man followed the older Elf to Elrond's chamber. Elrond stood facing the door as they entered.
"I am glad you have returned," said Elrond. Then he stepped aside.
"Gandalf," exclaimed Aragorn.
"Mithrandir," smiled Legolas.
Gandalf smiled in return; then he stepped aside as well. Legolas was thunderstruck.
"Ada!"
"I am glad you are well, my son," said Thranduil. "I thought you might like some company on your ride back to Greenwood." His grin was every bit as mischievous as his son's customarily was.
Legolas stood there with his mouth open, which was an extremely unusual expression for any Elf, let alone the Prince of Mirkwood. Gandalf cleared his throat.
"I think, Legolas, that you have been outfoxed by the master himself. Has your father never told you the tales of the tricks that he played upon his own father?
"No, he hasn't," Legolas said sheepishly, "but apparently I had better learn more about that stage of his life."
Gandalf laughed heartily.
"Yes, I think you should. Of course, you two will have plenty of time to share stories of your respective adventures on the way home, won't you?"
"Of course," said Legolas lightly. He was beginning to recover his equanimity. Thranduil smiled at him; Legolas smiled back.
Later that evening Gandalf and Elrond shared a glass of wine in private. It was the first time in several months that they had been able to indulge in this old custom of theirs.
"So Galadriel proved to be correct in her prediction that Aragorn would get into trouble," mused Elrond.
"Of course she proved to be correct. When has she not?"
"True," conceded Elrond. "But I had hoped she would be wrong in this one instance. I suppose it is likely that her other predictions will prove correct as well—that he will get into trouble in Dunland and Moria and Gondor and etcetera, etcetera."
"Undoubtedly," said Gandalf, taking a sip from his glass. "However, I am not concerned about Aragorn at present—although I probably shall be later. I have something else on my mind."
"You are worried about Legolas, then?"
"No, that young Elf has demonstrated a remarkable facility for landing on his feet—both literally and figuratively, as per usual."
"I had noticed," said Elrond wryly. "I can recall several memorable episodes that illustrated said facility, including the time Legolas slid down a hill whilst standing upon a shield—and it was Glorfindel's shield, too!"
Elf and wizard shared a laugh. Then Gandalf sobered.
"Does it not strike you as odd, Elrond, that the Men should have planned to capture Halflings?"
"Yes, I did think it peculiar. Usually Men wish to enslave those capable of laboring the hardest. But perhaps there is some task for which Periannath are more suited than Men, a task which favors the small rather than the powerful."
"Either that," said Gandalf thoughtfully, "or they weren't wanted as slaves in the first place. Why all the secrecy, after all? From what Aragorn has reported, the attack on Bree was actually a cover for the capture of Hobbits. Those who hold slaves, such as the Haradrim, have never disguised the fact."
"You are thinking, my friend?"
"I am thinking," said Gandalf, more to himself than Elrond. "I am thinking that the Hobbits were wanted for questioning. Someone wanted information, and that information had to come from Halflings."
"What would the Periannath of Bree know that the Men of Bree would not?"
"Don't forget, Elrond, that the marauders also planned to capture Hobbits from Buckland."
"Still, what would any of these Periannath know that the Men thereabouts would not know?"
"They would be more likely to be familiar with the inhabitants of the Shire," said Gandalf reflectively. "If I wanted news of the Shire, and didn't wish to risk slaying a particular Shire Hobbit, I'd raid Buckland and the territory of Bree for my informants."
"But, Mithrandir," objected Elrond, "if someone wanted news of a particular Shire Hobbit, why not target that one Hobbit?"
"Ah," said Gandalf briskly, "the person wanting news may know that there is a particular Shire Hobbit, but doesn't know which one he may be. And he is fearful lest the Hobbit be inadvertently slain during an attack, for if he were, a secret would die with him."
Elrond shook his head, bewildered.
"I suppose," he ventured, "that you are not going to tell me what secret will die with him."
"Oh, no," said Gandalf airily, "for I am not sure of the secret myself."
"Are you sure of any part of this story, Mithrandir?"
"Certainly not," the wizard replied cheerfully.
"You will pardon me if I roll my eyes."
"Go right ahead, Elrond. And raise your eyebrows while you're at it."
Elrond scowled at Gandalf.
"Must you always be so enigmatic?"
"Yes. I'm a wizard, if you hadn't noticed."
"I could hardly have failed to notice."
"Well," said Gandalf, putting down his wine glass, "now that we have had this little chat, I think that I shall retire to my room." He sighed a little. "Pity that Thranduil left Edwen Nana behind in Mirkwood."
"Legolas' nursemaid?" said Elrond, puzzled. "Of course Thranduil left her behind. Legolas doesn't need a nursemaid. On the other hand," he added wryly, "a warder would be useful at times!"
"Ah, but she's much more than a nursemaid," Gandalf replied wistfully. "She is, she is, why, she is the person who has ever been diligent in making me as comfortable as I may be."
"What's this?" said Elrond, perturbed. "Are you saying that my servants have not been making you sufficiently comfortable, so that you long for the care you have received in Thranduil's household? This shall not stand! I assure you, Mithrandir, that you have only to ask for any service and it shall be provided you. Indeed, I will serve you personally, if it comes to that!"
Gandalf chuckled.
"I assure you, Elrond, it will not come to that!"
He arose.
"Do not fear: your servants have always served me to the best of their abilities and imaginations. Happens that Edwen Nana's imagination is exceptionally fertile, is all, and she has—other talents. Good night!"
With that, Gandalf strode from the room, leaving Elrond puzzled. However, as Elrond was used to being puzzled by the wizard, he did not think overmuch of it. Gandalf, alas, may have dwelt upon the matter a little longer that night, but it obvious, Reader, that he survived, for his adventures were not yet at an end.