Disclaimer: I admit it. I have Kenshin locked in my bedroom. But don't sue! If you're nice, I might let you play with him for a while.
Author's Note: Believe it or not, chapter was done a while ago. However, because I was extremely unsatisfied I tried revamping the whole thing. Unfortunately, in the midst of final projects, final exams, graduations, friends and parties this got shoved to the bottom of my to-do list. After much revision I realized I had only made things worse and decided to go back to the original version. So basically I wasted time on revisions that I hated. Blah. Bing a perfectionist stinks. The up side of things is… I AM FREE! High school is done forever and summer is officially underway. Now that I have school, partying, and friends who missed me out of the way I can actually write! Even better, due to reasons listed in the author's note (which I know you all read) the next chapter is now over half done and should be out soon. So, all in all please forgive the authoress for the inexcusably long delay and expect more frequent updates.
Italics character thoughts
Bold Italics past conversation being remembered
llllllllllllllll my creative break lines (QuickEdit hates me)
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Crimson Tide
Chapter 4: Conversations
"Is there anything else we need?" Misao turned towards her friend, her mood hovering between expectation and concern.
Kaoru frowned as she rubbed the worn edges of the once crisp shopping list. The little slip of paper had long since succumbed to its holder's fingers and had been reduced to soft paper, its creases lining the hurried scrawl.
"No, I don't think so." Kaoru's voice was barely audible, her response more a statement than an affirmation to her companion's inquiry.
Misao repressed the urge to roll her eyes and turned to pay the vender. So far her adventures in the realms of cheering up Kaoru's strange mood had failed. Scratch that. Not just failed, but utterly failed by falling flat repeatedly. Misao grabbed her bags without bothering to check her change. She had had more lively conversations with her Aoshi before. Well, maybe not Aoshi, but somewhere close on the distant conversationalist spectrum.
Normally Misao would have graced Kaoru with her –ultra-genki-girl- transformation; Misao's first and last resort for brightening any dour persona. However, something about Kaoru's current mood had Misao hesitating, an action the young girl had virtually no previous experience with. Even the small hyper ball of inner advice within Misao was reluctant to shower Kaoru with a chipper display of energy. Something about Kaoru seemed so off. So…
Unbalanced?
Misao nodded her head. Kaoru did seem unbalanced. Something had seriously bothered the girl and anything was libel to set her off.
Which is why the sight of a familiar figure made Misao groan.
We're doomed.
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Kamiya Kaoru had always been aware of her temper.
It was a nasty trait she possessed. An easy irritability she wasn't sure whether or not to blame on her father's genetics or the mere lack of female role models in her life.
Or maybe it was life in general that was irritating.
Regardless, her temper had always been there, a flush of anger that lurked beneath the surface of her sunny persona. It was familiar, a guarantied reaction to the things in life that were sure to bug her.
Which was why Kaoru felt so confused.
When Yahiko had insulted her, had insulted the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and the legacy she had tried so hard to preserve, she hadn't felt anger. Only emptiness. An overwhelming since of poignancy had swept over her, leaving her hollow and alone. There was something in Yahiko's words that had stuck with her, had pierced something deep within her. And yet, in her own bewilderment, she couldn't grasp what it was that bothered her so. What had left her bereft and wondering in a daze in the market hours latter.
Which was why Kaoru wasn't looking where she was going.
"I was not aware tanukis were hard of sight as well as hearing."
Kaoru raised her eyes to the tall figure she had apparently slammed into. Still lost amidst the haze in her mind, she could only utter an unintelligible 'huh'.
"I said move out of the way." Saitou snorted at the sight of the dazed woman.
In retrospect, Kaoru wasn't sure what set her off. Maybe it was the condescending manner in which Saitou spoke to her, or maybe the sneer that accompanied the word 'move'. Regardless, something within her snapped and Kaoru felt more than saw her fist lash out towards the officer.
"Don't waste my time." Saitou had easily caught her fist and twisted it somewhat cruelly.
"Take me seriously!" It was more a statement made in desperation than a command.
"Run back to your man, little girl." Saitou released her fist and sent Kaoru sprawling into Misao.
It was then, with frightening clarity, that Kaoru understood the meaning of Yahiko's callous words. The meaning of what she, her dojo, and the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu were. Kaoru's breath caught at the stabbing pain that lanced through her body.
A pain that lanced through everything she had ever believed in.
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"Misao."
Misao cast a weary eye at the girl who had been silent throughout the walk back to the Aoiya. Something had changed after the encounter with Saitou. Something as puzzling to her as Kaoru's previous mood before the officer had appeared.
"Yeah."
Sometimes Misao cursed her inability to read others. This whole day had sucked so far. A day laced with depressing overtones was not Misao's cup of tea, so to speak.
"I want to become stronger."
Misao turned her startled gaze to Kaoru.
Something had definitely changed.
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Kenshin couldn't help but let a smile trace his features. Water was a wonderful thing. Cold water was even better. Cold water after a sparring session was beyond description.
Kenshin passed the basin to his silent partner, repressing a wince as his muscles protested. Sparring with Soujirou proved to be a workout that rivaled the conditioning that his Shishou used to give him. The session had resulted in several kinks in muscles that groaned from neglect. Kenshin was by no means out of shape, but Soujirou's speed was trying on even the best of warriors.
Doing laundry wasn't the best way to maintain a top fitting physique either.
"We have a visitor."
Kenshin nodded. He had also felt the ki of the green-eyed child behind the sliding door. He had not seen the child since her arrival, but rather felt her presence as she tiptoed around the house. The warm smile she had exhibited seemed only for Kaoru and Misao, the presence of others making her uneasy.
"She won't come out" Kenshin turned only to see her startled gaze recede behind the crack of the sliding door. "Sessha believes she not to found of males."
Something flickered briefly in Soujirou's face.
"What was her name again?"
"Sachimi." Kenshin smiled. "It means happy beauty if Sessha is not mistaken, de gozaru ya."
Again, that look from Soujirou. Something about the way he was watching him was disconcerting.
"She seems frightened, not happy." Kenshin was discovering Soujirou had moments of remarkable perception.
"Well we aren't a reassuring sight right now." Kenshin chuckled warmly and gestured to their clothes. "With all the dirt and grime Sessha is surprised she recognized us a human. We had better change, although Sessha would be lying if he said he looked forward to washing these grass stains out, de gozaru ya. "
"You do laundry?" Soujirou reared up in surprised.
"Sessha does not mind helping where help is needed."
"So it is true." Soujirou's voice rose sharply. "How?"
Kenshin frowned. He had a feeling Soujirou wasn't asking about the laundry.
"How what?" The rurouni's voice had lost most of its warmth.
Soujirou cocked his head to the side and laughed in delight, the hoarse sound harsh against his crooked grin.
"How did you separate from him…?" Soujirou's voice dropped. "Your other half."
Kenshin breathed in harshly, his eyes narrowing at the youth before him. He recognized the look now; the intense interest that gleamed behind Soujirou's eyes, his suppressed excitement.
He doesn't plan too…
"Why do you want to know?" Kenshin hissed.
"Always," Soujirou brought his hand up over his heart "it hurts."
"It will always hurt." Kenshin frowned. "As long as you remember, there will be pain."
"But it doesn't have to." Soujirou's grin widened. "I can not move past what I have done as long as it remains like this. But if I were to do that, if the murdering child Shishio raised was to become separate, I could move forward."
"You can not do that." Kenshin's voice became harder. Soujirou did not understand.
"Yes I can! I do not want this side of me. I do not want these memories."
"You have to live with it." Kenshin's voice rose. "It is your atonement to remember. To carry the burden of what you have done as you try to live day by day."
Soujirou frowned.
"Then your atonement is a failure."
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A/N:
Ooooooooooo. One word for Soujirou. Cold. Sorry about the time it took to get this chapter out, I had the worst time with it. It's shorter than most, but that's actually because I took out some of the murderous mayhem stuff and put it in the next chapter (which should be out sooner). The action just didn't seem to fit with the psychological feel of this chapter.
If you haven't been able to tell, I enjoy character growth. My three main victims, er, subjects are Kenshin, Kaoru, and Soujirou. Kenshin because he is so much fun to screw with, Kaoru because I see allot of untapped potential in her character, and Soujirou because I can see so many different possibilities with him. Also expect some Megumi and Sano growth, two characters whose complexities are often overlooked in favor of our sexy redhead. You know what, just pour fertilizer over everyone because I have plans for just about the whole cast. Bwahahahaha!
Kenshin: Sessha would love some growth, de gozaru yo!
Hiko: She doesn't mean in height, baka deshi!
Kenshin: Damn.
Hiko: turns towards reader Review, or else…brandishes his katana
Kenshin: Oro!
a.Tanuki – Raccoon. Saitoh, the bestower of nicknames in Rurouni Kenshin, was the first to call Kaoru this. Understandably, Kaoru doesn't appreciate being compared to a Raccoon (actually, a Tanuki is a raccoon dog, but all the translations call her raccoon girl).
b.Sessha – This unworthy one. Sessha is Kenshin's way of saying I in RK. Irritating yes (Kenshin is anything but unworthy), but its one of Kenshin's trademark Rurouni expressions. Personally I prefer the masculine 'ore' that the Battousai uses.
c.De gozaru ka/yo/ya - Kenshin tacks on this polite and very formal inflection ending all the time. Almost impossible to translate, the closest counterpart is 'that it is'. 'Ka' is used when it's a question, 'Yo' when it is a statement that needs emphasis, and 'Ya' when it is merely a statement. Sometimes, he just goes with 'de gozaru' (that's Kenshin for you, always tripping you up). It was common to samurai and ninja, because they usually serve masters, and it's a very archaic form of 'de gozaimasu'. In the RK series, Kenshin is the only one who uses it because he's so cool no one cares if his speech is in a time warp. Now if Saitoh said 'de gozaru' we'd all be seriously disturbed…