Shameless Plug: Voting for My Precious Awards (MPAs) is underway at the elvenlords site. I'd put in the web address, but this program keeps stripping it out. Just google it. Typing My Precious Awards in quotation marks works. Anyway, "Got Milk?" is nominated under Best Humour Story, and "Dol Guldur" is nominated under Best Scary Story. I wouldn't object if anyone meandered over to that site and, um, voted.
Mo: As several of my reviewers could tell you, I find it almost impossible to resist the story ideas that they send my way. (Right, Joee?) I can't predict when I'll create a scene in which Legolas teases Gandalf about Edwen Nana and Gandalf responds by reminding him that he's changed his nappies; however, I will get around to it eventually. That I can promise you!
Farflung: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can't even begin to respond to your many observations. You read and reviewed ten chapters in twenty-four hours! Hey, somebody, maybe there should be Reviewer categories for the MPAs. Authors could nominate reviewers in categories such as Most Humorous Reviewer, Most Prolific Reviewer, Most Thoughtful Reviewer, Most Erudite Reviewer, and so on and so forth. Speaking of the MPAs, I had no idea that "Dol Guldur" had also been nominated until a few days ago when I was idly scrolling through the site. As for why "Got Milk?" is not doing very well in the Humor category: I wonder if its length has anything to do with that. The humor is not compressed and intense but rather unfolds at a leisurely pace over a series of chapters.
Rinny Leonhart: It is formed from the Greek negative affix plus the Latin word for 'name'. So it means 'No Name' or 'Nameless'. I devised it because in "The Nameless One", the original story in this series, Thranduil refuses to utter his son's name, so when Legolas (nicknamed 'Laiqua' at that time) runs away from Greenwood, in bitterness he dubs himself 'Anomen'.
JC-Puzzler: And to think that in high school I earned my lowest scores in math (followed closely by chemistry)! You might not want to wait until your story is completely finished before you start posting chapters. If you post your first chapter, you may get feedback that influences what you do with later chapters. I posted "The Nameless One" all in one chunk, and for a while nobody responded because, well, what was the point?—it was a finished story, which I think takes some of the fun out of it for the readers.
Dragonfly: Yes, on the Elrond Eyebrow Elevation Scale, 1 being lowest elevation, 10 being highest, I've say this was definitely a 10. Similarly, on the Elrond Homeland Security Advisory System, which ranges from Green (Low) to Red (Severe), this was definitely a Red.
Legosgurl: Ah, so the flashback worked, you think? Thank you!
Karri: Yes, that was the original agreement. I think, though, that once Legolas arrived in Mirkwood, it wouldn't be surprising if the dynamic shifted. Yes, by the time Estel arrived on the scene, Elrohir and Legolas would have been getting along. That episode presupposes a lapse in Elrohir's more mature behavior.
Terreis: You read fifty chapters in two days! You deserve an award! Yes, you are right about that allusion to POTC. It comes from the scene in which Will confronts Jack Sparrow in the smithy (Oops! Captain Jack Sparrow).
Fluffy's Fangirls: Thank you! Hope you enjoy this update.
Grumpy: I don't think Elrond ever thinks in terms of 'punishment'. Instead, he seizes upon what educators call 'teachable moments'.
Kelly Kragen: Thank you for your comments about the dialogue. Maybe some day I will indeed try my hand at scriptwriting. About Aragorn singing to Arwen: yes, that is already in the works! I could never pass up a scenario like that!
Joee: Legolas wouldn't gloat, but perhaps someday he will have a little bit of an 'I told you so' chat with Gandalf. You are right, I think, that the 'bully' incarnation makes for good story lines—conflict is inherently interesting, isn't it? Ah hah! Headed you off at the pass, didn't I, by including the rock back story. He he!
Beta Reader: Dragonfly
Chapter 51: Getting To Know You; Getting to Know All About You!
The combined party of Imladris and Mirkwood Elves was four days out from Rivendell when they encountered the first sign of Orcs.
"The tracks are not very fresh, Elrohir," called Thoron, who had dismounted to examine them. "But they are traveling south, as we are. We may come up on them from behind, especially if they slow down or stop to camp."
"Let us pick up the pace," ordered Elrohir, "so that we may be certain of catching them."
"No," exclaimed Thranduil. "Why should we seek out a confrontation? Let us rather move more slowly so that there is little likelihood that we will encounter them."
"Ada," remonstrated Legolas, "if we do not confront them now, we will have to confront them later. It would be better to do so when we can take them unawares and when their numbers are few."
"I do not follow your logic," said Thranduil stubbornly. "It is not at all certain that we will ever again come across this band of Orcs."
"You mean," thought Elrohir to himself, "that it is unlikely that your Elves will have to contend with this particular band." Aloud, however, he spoke dispassionately.
"Thranduil, these Orcs will not vanish into thin air. They will continue to haunt these foothills and threaten all who wish to take the passage through the Misty Mountains. Moreover, it is all too likely that they will at some point combine with another band and set about raiding. This has happened in the past. It is for these reasons that, when we come across Orc signs, we deal with the matter at once, on our terms, rather than later, on theirs."
"Perhaps that is your usual practice," argued Thranduil, "but this is not a war party. You are here at the behest of your father, who has commanded you to escort his guests to Lothlórien."
To be charitable to Thranduil, it was not his life that he was trying to protect but that of his son. Elrohir understood this, which is why the normally hot-tempered young Elf was able to speak with such an air of calmness.
Legolas tried his hand again.
"Ada, it is true that this may not be the most opportune moment for skirmishing with a band of Orcs. However, when Elrohir and the others ride back this way, they will be escorting Arwen, Elrond's daughter. Surely it would be better for all of us together to confront these Orcs at once rather than to risk the Orcs coming upon the Imladris Elves later, when they are fewer in number than we are now and when they are charged with the safety of one who is not a warrior. Ada," he added softly, so that only Thranduil heard, "you know that Elrond does not love his daughter any less than you love your son."
Thranduil had to give way. Much as he cherished Legolas, he knew that he had no right to put his son's safety above that of someone else's child. The Prince was right: Arwen and her escort might be riding into danger upon their return, danger that very possibly could be forestalled if Thranduil permitted his Elves and their Imladris escort to pursue and destroy these Orcs. He sighed.
"I would prefer to give these Orcs a wide berth," he said softly to his son. "However, what you say is just." Then he spoke aloud so that all might hear.
"You are right, my son. It behooves us to join with our Imladris kin in removing this peril from their path."
The Imladris Elves had been sitting tensely upon their horses, and now they relaxed visibly.
United now in a common goal, Imladris and Mirkwood Elves alike carefully scanned the ground as they rode forward as quickly as they could without overlooking any traces of their foes. At length Elrohir commanded the company to dismount and go forward on foot.
"We are very close," he said to Legolas and Elladan.
"Yes," agreed Legolas. "Let us divide our forces so that we come at our enemies from two sides. I will take my father's Elves to the west; you and Elladan take the Imladris Elves to the east."
Quickly they settled on which bird calls each would use to alert the others when they were in position, and then they separated to lead their respective Elves on paths that would put them on opposite sides of the Orc band.
Thranduil had no hand in planning the assault—the younger Elves were of course better acquainted with the terrain than he—but he insisted on staying by Legolas' side as the Mirkwood Elves moved forward cautiously. This was not to Legolas' liking.
"Ada," he argued, "the King of Greenwood and the heir to the throne should not fight side by side. What if we should both fall?"
Thranduil was unperturbed.
"Then we shall journey together to the Halls of Mandos, united in death as we should have been united in life."
"But the kingdom," began Legolas.
"Will be well ruled by Tawarmaenas, with the assistance of Gilglîr," said Thranduil calmly.
Legolas' actual fear was that Thranduil would fling himself into danger at the sign of any threat to his son, but no matter what Legolas said, Thranduil steadfastly refused to leave his side. At last Legolas abandoned any attempt at convincing the King to move to the rear of the column; instead, he tried to extract a promise from his father that he would not do anything foolish.
"If by 'foolish'," Thranduil said stubbornly, "you mean risking my life to safeguard that of my son, then, no, I will give you no such promise."
"Ada!"
"Legolas, for whose life should I risk my own if not my son's?"
"But it will not be necessary!"
"Are you Galadriel, that you can predict the future?"
At last Legolas was forced to give over the argument, and side by side father and son crept forward until from their hiding place behind a boulder they were able to spy the Orc camp. When all the Mirkwood Elves were likewise in position, Legolas gave the agreed-upon bird call. Within a few moments, he heard an answering call from Elladan and another from Elrohir. All about Legolas Elves were nocking and drawing their bows. Legolas gave the final call. The Orcs must have thought momentarily that a cloud had obscured the moon, for the air was suddenly thick with arrows. Not a single Orc was unscathed by that first volley. Some fell dead outright; others were pierced by many shafts. For all that they were wounded, most badly, the injured Orcs roared and charged at the source of the volley, some launching themselves toward the east, the others the west. Among the Orcs who charged toward the Mirkwood Elves was an exceptionally large one. None of the Elves had seen a more massive goblin, and brandishing his scimitar he raced straight toward Legolas. Quickly the Prince drew and fired an arrow at the rampaging Orc. It struck the creature in the shoulder, but he hardly flinched.
"Togo hon dad, Legolas!" shouted Thranduil in alarm. "Bring him down, Legolas!"
Legolas shot another missile at the oncoming Orc, but it troubled the goblin no more than the first arrow had. Thranduil was now well nigh frantic.
"Dago hon! Dago hon!" he screamed hoarsely. "Kill him! Kill him!"
The Orc was almost upon Legolas as he drew his third arrow. Suddenly the Prince saw movement out of the corner of his eye. "Don't," he began to cry, but his father had already leaped clear of the boulder. There was a sudden flash of silver in the moonlight, and the Orc's head was parted from his body. Amazed and aghast, Legolas stood frozen as the headless beast took three more steps toward him before it collapsed, still clutching its scimitar. Even after it fell to the ground, the corpse twitched for several more minutes. Legolas felt faint. All color drained from the world, and the sounds of the final moments of the skirmish faded into the distance.
When Legolas began to recover his senses, he found that his father stood next to him. One hand still held the sword with which he had decapitated the Orc; the other rested upon his son's shoulder.
"Are you alright, my son?" Thranduil said anxiously.
"Yes, Ada. Ada, I, um." Legolas' voice trailed off.
"Yes, my son?"
"Ada, thank you."
Thranduil squeezed his son's shoulder.
"Legolas, you have never seen that sort of Orc before. They are very hard to stop. Fortunately, there do not seem to be many of them. Apparently they are hard to breed."
Legolas let out his breath.
"Praise the Valar for that!"
Suddenly Legolas thought of something.
"So this is not the first time you have encountered such a creature?"
"No, Legolas, it is not."
"Mithrandir was right," said Legolas thoughtfully. "You must tell me more about your adventures as a young Elf. I don't doubt but that I would learn much!"
"Ah," said Thranduil smiling. "Perhaps I have found a way to keep you from wandering away from the Great Hall. Each evening I shall commence a tale, but I shall leave it unfinished. You must remain until the following evening to hear the conclusion, which shall be so enthralling that you will remain yet another night to hear the next day's tale."
"And you have such a stock of tales that you will be able to continue this practice indefinitely?"
"I have lived many years. Offhand, without even trying, I can think of a thousand and one tales."
"Good for three years of nightly entertainment, anyway," smiled Legolas. "Then you shall have to come up with another device to keep me within reach."
"I think if I were given enough time to do so, I would be able to contrive something. Or mayhap Edwen Nana shall succeed in introducing you to an elleth who may prove even more persuasive than I could be. I would not mind if you took a page from Mithrandir's book."
"Ada!"
"Do you think," said Thranduil, laughing, "that I am unaware of the, ah, great friendship that has developed between that wizard and your former nurse-maid? I assure you, I am not ignorant of their arrangement!"
Legolas had gone so red that, had he been shorter and stouter, he might have been mistaken for an inebriated dwarf.
While Thranduil and Legolas had been talking, their companions had been checking to make certain that each of their foes was well and truly dead. Then Elrohir and Elladan had given orders for wood to be gathered for the burning of the Orc carcasses. Now, everything having been seen to, the twins strode toward Legolas and his father.
"Legolas," called Elrohir as they approached, "are you well? You look flushed."
Thranduil smiled and winked at Legolas before moving off so that the Prince could talk with his friends.
"I am not hurt," Legolas assured Elladan and Elrohir. "I faced a foe that very nearly overmastered me, but my Adar came to my aid. He has just now been following up his assistance with some words of fatherly advice."
Elladan and Elrohir stared down at the corpse that lay at Legolas' feet. It was huge even in the absence of its head.
"I'm glad there was not another one of these in the Orc band!" exclaimed Elladan.
"My father told me," said Legolas, "that there do not seem to be many of them because apparently they are hard to breed."
"Praise the Valar for that!" declared Elrohir.
Legolas grinned.
"That is exactly what I said!"
He clapped his friend upon the shoulder.
"I think I have recovered from the fright this fellow gave me. What now would you have me do?"
"Excellent timing, as usual," teased Elrohir. "Elladan and I have already seen to everything. There is naught for you to do but stand about looking princely. Do you think you can manage?"
"Of course," said Legolas, assuming a haughty demeanor. "Have I not always been princely?"
"Aye," laughed Elladan. "We used to think that you were putting on airs, I hope you know."
"Oh, yes, I knew. Your brother here always made sure of that!"
Elrohir winced.
"Legolas, sometimes I am amazed that I did not provoke you into departing for the Undying Lands. However did you stand me?"
"With great difficulty, sometimes," said Legolas dryly. "Do you recall the time I tried to hit you with a rock?"
They were interrupted by Thoron, who told them that the other Elves were ready to set fire to the pile of Orc bodies. Elladan and Elrohir went to check the direction of the wind before giving the final go-ahead. Sure that the fire would not set any nearby brush alight, they nodded at Thoron, who touched the torch to the wood. Patiently the Elves waited until the pyre burned itself out, and then they mounted and resumed their journey to Lothlórien.
The company encountered no other foes during the remainder of their journey, and several days later they entered the fringes of the forest of Lórien. Legolas heard a bow being drawn and reined his horse to a halt.
"I know you are there, Haldir! You breathe so loudly I could hit you in the dark!"
Rúmil and Orophin shouted with laughter and stepped out from behind a tree, followed by a sheepish Haldir, who now held his bow loosely in his hands.
"Mae govannen, Legolas," called the Lórien brothers. "Mae govannen, Elladan and Elrohir. And King Thranduil," they said, bowing deeply, "we are honored to have you and your warriors amongst us once again."
Thranduil laughed.
"You scamps! Do you think you can fool me into thinking you sober-minded Elves? Give over the thought! Go! Take Legolas and the sons of Elrond to Haldir's talan and commence your celebration. But mark me: you will return my son to me when it is time for him to depart Lothlórien and return to Greenwood. Else you shall precipitate such a diplomatic crisis as has not been seen since the Dwarf Thorin tried to keep all of Smaug's treasure for himself!"
Orophin and Haldir looked abashed, but Rúmil, always the bold one, opened his eyes wide and looked at the King with an expression of the greatest innocence.
"Why, King Thranduil, whenever have we behaved in an unseemly fashion?"
"Frequently," retorted Thranduil. "If a star shone for every one of your escapades, it would be as bright during the nighttime as it is during the day!"
The Lórien brothers blushed as the assembled Elves laughed heartily. The Greenwood and Imladris Elves dismounted and entrusted their horses to Lothlórien Elves, who promptly vanished. Haldir and his brothers led Thranduil, Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir on to Caras Galadhon, while other Lórien Elves led the remaining elven guests to fair lodgings elsewhere in the Golden Valley.
"Oh," groaned Thranduil as they began to mount the steps that led to the talan of the Lord Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel. "Why must they perch in the sky, so that it is necessary to climb up and down, up and down, whenever one wishes to speak with them?"
"Ada," Legolas pointed out, "it is not so different from the obstacle presented to those who wish to visit your underground dwelling. In the case of Celeborn and Galadriel's abode, it is necessary to climb up and down; in the case of your dwelling, it is necessary to climb down and up, and for an equivalent distance."
"I had not thought of it that way," said Thranduil, surprised. "I suppose you are right, looking at it from that point of view."
"Wisdom is often arrived at," intoned Haldir sententiously, "when one approaches a problem from a different angle, metaphorically speaking."
His brothers rolled their eyes and groaned.
"If ever Erestor wants an apprentice, do keep Haldir in mind," declared Rúmil, winking at Elrohir and Elladan.
"I don't think Erestor would want Haldir as an apprentice," said Elrohir. "He would be afraid that my father would discharge him in favor of Haldir!"
"I shall take that as a compliment," said Haldir loftily. "It is my nature to be serious and to arrive at insights that do not occur to my brothers, lost as they are in levity."
"Oooooh, I have been cut to the quick," cried Rúmil, clutching at his heart.
"Rúmil," called a melodious voice, "someday an Orc will cut you to the quick if you do not learn to hold your tongue. Now be off with you, you and your brothers both. I believe our guests are perfectly capable of ascending this talan on their own."
Thoroughly quelled, Rúmil and his brothers fled, bounding down the stairs three or four steps at time, but with the grace of leaping deer, and as quietly. Their guests gazed up and saw Galadriel's luminous face smiling down at them.
"I hope you are able to make the last few steps, Thranduil. If you can, you will find that a fine repast has been laid out for you and your companions."
"I feel myself reviving, Lady," declared Thranduil jovially.
"A miracle," said another voice. Celeborn joined Galadriel in smiling down at the guests from the edge of the flet.
Thranduil did not bound up the stairs as vigorously as Rúmil and his brothers had bounded down, but he did cover the last few steps with an impressive agility that Legolas had never before seen him display. Once again, the Prince found himself longing to know his father better.
Once arrived on the Lord and Lady's talan, the visitors found that Galadriel had spoken truly. A feast awaited them.
"Why, Galadriel," teased Thranduil, "for once your words have not been equivocal. You promised us a fine repast, and here I see a veritable banquet laid out before us. I am not used to such plain speech on your part!"
"My pardon, Thranduil," said Galadriel, adopting the King's bantering tone. "I trust that my unaccustomed candor has not distressed you excessively."
"No indeed, my Lady. Is it too much to hope that it will last the evening?"
"Yes," said Galadriel, smiling.
"No doubt that will be her last straightforward pronouncement," cautioned Celeborn, also smiling.
"But it was not a straightforward pronouncement," rejoined Thranduil gaily. "Does Galadriel mean 'Yes, it is too much to hope' or 'Yes, it will last the evening'?"
"The fault lies in the Questioner," averred Galadriel. "You asked an equivocal question; I gave an equivocal answer!"
Legolas listened to this exchange with the greatest of fascination. He had never known that Thranduil excelled at such light-hearted bantering. This was yet another side of his father that he resolved to learn more of.
After supping, Legolas, Elrohir, and Elladan excused themselves and went in search of Haldir and his brothers. They were easy to find, for they had retreated no further than the base of the Lord and Lady's mallorn tree, where they had been patiently cooling their heels for hours.
"What a leisurely life is vouchsafed to our Lórien kinsman!" exclaimed Elladan. "Are there no Orcs left in Arda, that you should loiter thus?"
"No Orc would venture within miles of the Golden Valley, such is our reputation!" Rúmil boasted.
"If that is the case," teased Elrohir, "it is only because they fear being bored to death. Has nothing stirring happened here since we last visited and brought excitement with us?"
The Lórien brothers grew serious.
"Orcs frequently test our borders," said Haldir soberly. "Thus far we have fended them off without loss, but their numbers are increasing. It is good that you have come now to fetch your sister, for I fear that had you waited any longer you would have had difficulty in conveying her safely to Imladris."
Orophin spoke then.
"Arwen should have returned to her talan by now—she has been visiting friends who dwell a little to the north of Caras Galadhon. Would you like us to take you to her?"
"Oh, yes!" exclaimed the twins simultaneously.
Eagerly the Imladris Elves fell into step with the Lórien brothers. Soon they came to a mallorn tree from which silken pennants fluttered. Orophin laughed.
"Arwen is forever draping cloth here and there. Sometimes she seems to float upon silk."
Haldir sighed wistfully and then blushed as the others looked at him. The Elves began to mount the spiraling stairs that led to Arwen's flet. They had ascended halfway to the platform when suddenly they were drenched with cold water. As they stood spluttering and shivering, they heard laughter and looked up to see Arwen smiling down upon them.
"I have paid you back now, Elrohir," she called.
"But, Arwen," he protested, "that was twenty years ago!"
"What is twenty years to an Elf?" said Arwen nonchalantly. "It is as yesterday."
"Now we are all soaked," complained Elladan. "What are we to do!?"
"I will wrap you all in silk," declared Arwen cheerfully.
"Oh, that's all right, then!" exclaimed Haldir hastily, and he quickly blushed anew as his companions once again stared at him.
When they arrived upon Arwen's flet, she did not wrap them in silk, but she gave each one a blanket and served them mulled wine. Soon they had no cause to complain, although perhaps the occupants of nearby talans did, for the young Elves were soon singing both merrily and loudly and continued to do so until it was nearly dawn. Had Galadriel not had the foresight to order that the rest of the wine be guarded that night, no doubt our young Elves would have disregarded dawn altogether. It was, of course, not necessary for her to look into her mirror to realize the necessity of taking such a step!
For all the merriment that the twins indulged in, they did not forget Haldir's words about the gathering of Orcs on the borders of Lothlórien.
"Legolas," Elrohir said regretfully when they arose late the next morning, "I am afraid that Elladan, Arwen, and I shall have to bid you farewell sooner than we had planned."
Legolas was disappointed but not surprised.
"I knew as soon as Haldir spoke that you would make for Imladris with all speed. I imagine that Celeborn and Galadriel have spoken of this matter to Thranduil by now and that my father will soon tell me that we also will not linger in Lothlórien."
Legolas was right. The Greenwood and Imladris Elves were to remain only one additional night in Lothlórien before departing regretfully for their respective homelands.
Legolas sighed and looked back over his shoulder as he rode away from Lórien by the side of his father. Thranduil tried to comfort him.
"Legolas, you will not be parted from your friends forever. And do you not look forward to your imminent reunion with Tawarmaenas and Edwen Nana?"
"Of course I do, Ada. I merely fear that it may be long before I once again see the friends of my youth."
"The friends of your youth!" teased Thranduil. "Are you suddenly so old? You speak like a venerable elf lord. This must be Erestor's influence!"
Legolas had to laugh. He had never dreamed that his father could be so antic in his speech and behavior.
"Yes," the young Elf mused, "I will miss my friends in Imladris and Lothlórien, but I am glad to have this opportunity to become better acquainted with my father."
Thus comforted, Legolas rode on into the east.