Tim sat on the edge of his couch, his head buried in his hands. The kids were finally asleep and he finally had some time to himself.

"You said things would be fine." he mumbled, leaning back against the couch. "You promised me Calleigh."

Tim felt stupid for listening to a dream he had. Yes it was his wife but... it was just a dream. She was dead, she couldn't come back, she couldn't talk to him, nothing. Tim sighed deeply and picked up the phone and dialed a number. He waited for a second and began to talk.

"Yes this is CSI Tim Speedle. I um... I need to make an appointment with Dr. Burnett."

S/C-------

A YEAR LATER

Jen stared down at the floor, not listening to Dr. Burnett. Dr. Burnett was the MDPD department therapist but after a few sessions, Tim asked if Jen could talk to her. She agreed, even though Jen fought with her father to not make her go. Every week on Friday at four, she reluctantly talked to Dr. Burnett and then went home to sulk. Slowly Jen and Tim filled up all those years that Tim hadn't been there but since Calleigh's death Jen had grown distant and it took a lot to make Jen open up.

"Jennifer?"

"You know, every week for the past year you've asked me how I've felt about certain topics Dr. Burnett." she said. "You're supposed to be a college-educated woman. If your mother died unexpectedly, how would you feel about it? I thought that these things were common sense. I feel horrible. I don't feel whole anymore. I feel like I'm alone."

S/C-----

Tim knelt down, placing the bouquet of white roses at the bottom of Calleigh's headstone.

"Hey sweetheart..." Tim stared at the headstone, absentmindedly tracing the letters engraved in it. "Abbie got that scholarship to the University of Miami. Believe it or not she still wants to take a course in criminology. Nicky's doing good, he got his Yankees tickets he's wanted. They're playing Tampa in two weeks. And Jen... well Jenny is her usual self. It's not the same without you. I still miss you as much as ever and I still love you as much as the day I first met you."

Tim swallowed his tears and brought his fingers to his lips, then to the C in Calleigh's name.

"I still don't know how I got through this past year... it's been Hell I'll tell you that much... I feel bad. I really do. I try to be there and do as much as I can, just like I promised you honey, but Abbie seems to think she has to do everything. She's wearing herself out and I don't see how she has time for anything she wants to do. I'll be glad when she goes to college. She can start acting her age, or at least I hope so. But that's a year away."

Before Tim could go, on his cell phone went off.

"Speedle."

"Dad!"

"Jen, what's going on?"

"Come and pick me up! I can't sit here with this woman anymore. I'm done coming to these stupid sessions! I'm not crazy! I don't need to see a psychologist!"

"Okay, honey just calm down for a second. I'm about fifteen minutes away okay? By then it'll be five so just finish it out, for me okay?"

"Daddy..."

"I know you don't like it Jenny but, just fifteen minutes okay?"

"Fine."

"Alright. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Bye."

Tim hung his cell phone up and reattached it to his belt.

"Jen's been... really distant from all of us for the past year." he muttered. "She's... God Calleigh, I don't know what to do anymore. But that was her and I need to go get her. I love you honey. I love you so much..."

He paused for a second, as if expecting to hear her sexy drawl that made him turn to mush every time he had heard it.

S/C--------

"I'm sick of it!" Jen exclaimed. "Why are you even making me go?"

"Because Jen, you've become a shell since Mom died." Tim replied quietly.

"Well I'm done! I don't need to talk to her anymore! She doesn't even help! It still hurts as much as the day you told us that she was dead!"

"I know it does Jen."

"You don't go anymore!"

"Because I've... look I'm telling you the truth here. I miss your mother. She was the only person I could love besides you and your siblings. I should be going to Dr. Burnett but I... oh Jenny, you're so much like me." Tim sighed. "I know it doesn't help okay? We all deal with it in our own way."

"Dad..."

"I really wish you wouldn't stop going though. I like the old Jen, the happy Jen. I had hoped if you talked to Dr. Burnett she'd come back."

"Well she's gone unless you can somehow bring Mom back."

"Please, don't act like this. Jenny, we talked about this. We all miss Mom. If I could bring her back I would. I love her so much Jen, just like I love you and Nicky and Abbie and losing her was so hard but we're all slowly going back to normal."

"Normal?" Jen exploded. "You say we're going back to normal? Nothing will ever be normal again!"

"So what do you want me to do? Marry again?"

"NO! I don't want another mother, I want my mother!" Jen exclaimed. They sat in silence for a while. "Daddy, turn around."

"Why?" Tim glanced at her sideways.

"I... I want to go see Mom."

S/C------

Tim moved away from the tree he had been leaning against and straightened up as Jen walked over, wiping her eyes.

"You feel better?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"I do but then I feel worse." Jen replied.

"Yeah I know."

"We have to get home so I can get ready for my game."

"Yeah. Gonna hit a homer again?" Tim grinned.

"No." Jen grinned back. "That was a one in a million shot."

"Well that was one hell of a shot."

S/C------

Tim glanced behind him and rolled his eyes as he watched Abbie talk with some senior boy. Nicky was playing catch with one of his friends and Jen was pitching in her game, which was so far a perfect game for her.

"So which one is yours?"

Tim glanced to his left and saw a redhead sitting next to him.

"She's pitching. Number 28." he replied. "Yours?"

"She just struck out." the redhead sighed. "Lily Lawford."

She extended her hand and Tim shook it.

"Tim Speedle."

"Is she normally a pitcher?" Lily asked.

"Actually no." Tim laughed. "She usually is first base."

He glanced behind him again and did a double take as he saw a blonde resembling Calleigh near the snack bar. He looked again but she had started to walk away.

"Dad!"

Tim jumped and saw Abbie leaning against the bleachers.

"Josh is taking me to McDonald's. I'll just meet you at home okay?"

"Okay." Tim nodded. "You got money?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Have fun."

"Okay bye." Abbie smiled, kissing his cheek quickly. Lily smiled as she walked off.

"You have two kids?" she asked.

"Actually I have three." Tim corrected. "My son is playing catch over on the t-ball field."

"Oh. A man with three kids. There's a rarity." Lily said, a pleased tone in her voice. Tim shrugged, resting his chin in his left hand. "Oh..."

Tim smiled as Lily saw his wedding ring.

"The game's over. Sorry that she lost." he said, hopping off the bleachers. He waited by the fence that blocked the field off from the bleachers. Jen was one of the last ones out and she smiled when she saw Tim. She ran to him and he swung her around. "Awesome job. Didn't know you could pitch like that."

"Neither could I." Jen giggled. Tim smiled. This was the Jen he liked. The happy-go-lucky daughter that had his looks but Calleigh's personality. "The coach said that if Alicia keeps skipping games like this, he wants me to become a pitcher!"

"That's good! You can play anywhere on that field. Do me a favor and go get your brother. I'll bring the car around okay?"

Jen nodded and ran towards the t-ball field. Tim lugged her equipment to his Tahoe and loaded it into the truck. He moved around to the driver's side and got in, resting his head against the head rest. Tim grabbed his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

S/C--------

"I don't know H." Tim sighed, leaning back in his chair. He glanced out the window and smiled, watching Jen play with Nicky in the front yard. Horatio smiled sadly.

"Tim, we all miss her."

"I know I just... do you think I'm crazy?"

"I think you're a man that's missing the woman he loves." Horatio replied. "Speed, give yourself a break. It's not a sin to think about her."

"I know... this woman hit on me at the game and I just.. I've tried dating and nothing works. I get to the beginning of a date and I make up some excuse that my kids need me and leave."

"They do need you. You're a new man Tim."

"Yeah. A broken one." he muttered.

"No. I don't think, and don't take this offensively, but I haven't seen you as such a loving father since Abbie was a baby. I saw him for a moment last year when things were going good but then Calleigh died and he faded for a while."

"I'm having that dream again." Tim said quietly. "Where she's there, in our bedroom, telling me everything's fine. Everything's not fine! I promised her Horatio, the day that she died... she said that she loved me being how I was and that she wished I stayed the happy, loving, involved father that I was. I promised her I would but I don't... I don't know what to do anymore! I've run out of ideas! I've... nothing seems to work! I started getting Jen back and now Nicky's fighting at school again. Abbie... God you should've seen her at the game. She was with this boy and she was smiling H. That was the first real smile I've seen in a long time. She was happy! She didn't have to worry about her little sister and brother. I wish that she could see that she doesn't have to, that I'm here."

"You need to talk to her then." Horatio said.

"I've tried. She says she's fine and she's like doing it but I can tell she's not." Tim glanced at the clock on the wall and stood up. "I gotta get them home."

"Alright. How's the lab?"

"Fine. Thanks Horatio."

"For what?"

"For listening when I needed someone to talk to. You're a damn better therapist than Burnett, and she's trained to talk to people."

Horatio laughed lightly and clapped Tim on the shoulder.

"I'll talk to you later."

"See you later." Tim nodded and walked out. "Come on guys."

Jen and Nicky raced to the car, the two of them laughing the whole way. Tim sighed and shook his head as he walked over to his Tahoe. He got in and Jen stole a glance at Horatio's house as she opened the door. Her eyes focused on the second floor window and suddenly what she thought she saw was gone.

S/C-------

Horatio watched helplessly as Calleigh cried at the kitchen table.

"I can't do this anymore Horatio!" she sobbed. "I... I heard everything Tim said and I just feel so horrible!"

"Calleigh, sweetheart this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is! God I hate feds!"

Horatio laughed even though it was inappropriate. Calleigh laughed with him slightly.

"I miss them and I'm only a half hour away. Well I am now at least."