Dedicated to all my loyal readers. Especially those at the forum, who taught me that I get more reviews when I don't update than when I do…

And to anyone who likes the Bangles, because the writing of this chapter was postponed three minutes when 'Manic Monday' came on the radio and I had to dance around like a fool.

And to Candy, because my MSN isn't working and I'm lonely. That, and I didn't use the song she wanted me to.

Squib focused on the road ahead of him. Cody sat beside him, staring out the window silently. It had been a week and a half since Cody went into labor; she had been kept for tests and observation. The doctor explained the situation to him, what had went wrong, but he had barely taken in any of it. All he knew was that his baby had died. His little girl, Molly Meghan Furlong, was dead, and he never even got to meet her. She never got to live; never got to see her room that they had worked so hard on (they had decided on green for the walls, not that it mattered anymore).

But despite his overwhelming grief, Squib was more worried about his wife. Cody was losing the weight from her pregnancy at an alarmingly fast rate. He had talked with the nurses; apparently she had eaten next to nothing for the entire week and a half. The only time she had consumed any food was when either he or one of the nurses was in there nagging her, and even then it was a struggle. But that wasn't the real problem; Squib could get her to eat more at home than he could at the hospital, he was sure. It would be a less stressful environment, for one, and he knew that, although it could take some time, he could get her back to her normal routine with lots of support.

What really worried him was the fact that Cody hadn't cried once. Not since the delivery, anyways. At first, she had been too shocked to express any real emotion; they both had. Even Adena had simply sat there looking stunned. Eventually, though, tears had slowly started to flow, from the eyes of all three of them. Adena, the good friend she was, had stayed long into the night comforting her two best friends. The next day, however, when the two returned to the hospital bright and early, Cody had simply been sitting in bed calmly. There were bags under her eyes, her hair hung limp, and she looked rather depressed, but she was simply sitting in her bed reading a book. They had stayed the whole day, and while Adena and Squib had both found themselves getting choked up periodically, Cody's eyes remained dry. Whenever the two approached the subject of Molly, Cody would quickly change it. When the doctor had come in offering his deepest sympathies, she simply nodded and thanked him politely. When he explained what had gone wrong, Adena had been hysterical and left the room. When he broached the touchy subject of a birth certificate, Cody remained silent, so Squib had to tell him that yes, they would like one.

Adena had been worried sick about her friend, exclaiming that her reaction most definitely was not healthy. She had been determined to stay longer, but Squib finally managed to convince her that she was needed back home. Things were hectic at work, she had been telling him before the whole ordeal, and she finally, but begrudgingly, agreed. Squib assured her that he would keep her constantly up to date. Before she had left, she asked about the trip up to Quebec to see Cameron and Tannis. He said they'd see.

Squib glanced over at Cody nervously. She was still staring at the scenery whizzing by.

"You okay, City Girl?" He asked in a light voice. He didn't know if he meant the air conditioning, the radio station, or the death of their child, but he needed to hear her speak.

"Mmm hmm," she nodded, but didn't look away. Squib sighed. It was a start.

"Still nothing?" Adena asked, balancing the phone between her head and her shoulder as she typed.

"Nothing," Squib confirmed, "we got home around seven and she just crawled straight into bed."

"You should have let me stay," Adena sighed, "she needs a friend."

"So what am I, then?"

"You know what I mean. She loves you; you're her best friend. But she needs a girlfriend."

"Adena, I know you want to be with her," Squib said, "but I can't let you postpone your life for this. Just because you're not here, doesn't mean you can't help her. She knows you love her."

"What about you?" Adena asked, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay, I guess," Squib sighed, "worrying about Cody has at least kept me from thinking about it too much."

"Well, I know you've got this whole macho, not-sharing-feelings thing, but Cody's going to be out of commission for a while, and if you ever need to talk…" she trailed off.

"Thanks, Adena," Squib said sincerely, smiling.

"Anytime. So what about the trip? You decided?" She asked.

"No, not yet. I think it may be too stressful right now, for both me and Cody. But on the other hand, staying here all summer will do nothing for us," Squib told her.

"Well, it's fully up to you two, of course. If you decide not to, we won't be offended. But, if I may, I think that maybe being around your friends will help. You guys definitely deserve a break."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Squib said, "I'll have to talk to Cody. I know she's not up for it right now, but we've still got a month…"

"Hey, even if we don't end up seeing you guys this summer, you know we're all here for you, right?"

"Yeah," Squib said, "I know."

Three days later, Squib walked into the kitchen, his hair still wet from his shower, and saw Cody sitting at the table.

"Hey," he said, leaning down to kiss her hair on the way to the coffee pot, "you're up."

"Mmm hmm," she didn't look up from the paper.

"You wanna go out today? We should get out of the house, even if it's just for breakfast…"

"Actually," she said, "I've got an article that I should get started on. I was just gonna work from home…"

"An article?" Squib asked. "Why are you writing an article?"

"Because I work at a paper. A very big one, as a matter of fact. The New York Times. Maybe you've heard of it." Squib would've been grateful for her teasing if he wasn't so worried.

"But you've got leave for another two weeks," he reminded her.

"So? I don't have to take it."

"Yeah, but maybe you should…" she finally looked up to face him, "I mean, going back to work may not be the healthiest thing right now."

"Why?" She asked, "It's not like I have anything else to do. It's not as if I've got a baby to take care of," Squib swore he heard her voice begin to crack on the last word.

"Cody…"

"I'm gonna take a shower," she said, getting up from the table quickly and keeping her head down. Squib trailed after her, but she had already gotten into the shower. He sat down on the bed to wait for her. Glancing over at the small table on his side, he saw the birth certificate laying there. Molly Meghan Furlong. Born June 14th, 2013. He ran his fingers over it lightly.

Cody lathered up her hair, furiously holding back tears. The lump in her throat was so large it was painful, but she wouldn't cry. Not even alone in the shower. She was not going to let this control her life. She was not going to let this ruin her. She couldn't. If she spent her days moping around the house, crying about Molly, she'd never get her life back to normal. Squib wanted her to take her leave. Couldn't he see that would only make things worse? She had to keep herself busy.

She emerged from the bathroom, wet hair clinging to her face, to see Squib sitting on the bed with Molly's birth certificate in his hands. When he heard her footsteps, he looked up, placing the certificate back on the table.

"Look, Cody…"

"I'm going back to work Squib. That's that," she said firmly.

"Please just stay home for one week more! Just one week, and if you're up to going back to work after that, then you can," he tried to negotiate.

"Squib…" she sighed.

"No, Cody. There is no way that going back to work now will be healthy for you," he explained.

She sighed softly, "Fine, Squib," she brushed the hair out of her eyes, "one week."

"Thank you," he said. He took her hand and tugged gently, bringing her to sit beside him on the bed.

"Cody, I'm worried about you…"

"Why?" She asked.

"Because you've hardly eaten anything, for one."

Cody sighed again, "I know. But I will, I promise."

"It's not just that," Squib played with their still intertwined hands.

"What?"

"You've…well, I mean…you've been sort of quiet," he tried to explain.

"As opposed to the usual party animal I am?"

"I just mean…you haven't cried…haven't talked about it…nothing," he said.

"So? I don't want to talk about it," she let go of his hand now and stood up.

"Cody, you have to," he tried to reason with her, "I mean, come on! If I'm worried that you're not talking about your feelings, it must be a big deal!"

"Squib, I don't want to, okay? So what? You're worried because I haven't been crying? Would you rather I spend all day sobbing? Is that what you want?" Squib could see she was quickly getting aggravated.

"Cody, it's okay to cry in a situation like this! It's okay to talk! It's okay to feel something!"

"Why?" She demanded loudly.

"Because our baby is dead!" He yelled.

"You don't have to remind me, Squib! You think I don't know that?"

"Well, it sure seems like that! It's like you don't feel anything!"

"Well I do, okay? Of course I feel something! My daughter is dead!" Squib could see her trying to hold back tears and quickly losing the battle. "I've wanted this since…since forever! And I didn't even get to take her home! I didn't get to hold her! I didn't get to see her open her eyes!"

"Cody…" Squib moved toward his nearly hysterical wife.

"No!" She pushed him away. "Don't you get it? Our daughter is dead! It's not fair! We would've been great parents! I know we would've! I wanted her to get to go to Cascadia! To meet her aunts and uncles! God, I wouldn't even care if she ended up as a tennis player, I just want her here!" Cody sobbed. "And I can't stop feeling so…so Goddamned guilty! There was something wrong…with my body that k-killed her!" Cody's body shook with her sobs, but every time Squib moved toward her she backed away. "She didn't even do anything! Sh-sh-she didn't have the chance to! She would've been…perfect! Sh-she was perfect! She…" The rest of Cody's sentence was drowned out by her sobs as she collapsed to the floor.

Squib ran to her side and enveloped her in his arms, "It's okay…you're okay…" he murmured against her hair.

"Oh God…" she sobbed in a tiny voice, "Oh God…Oh God…Oh God…"

I
Played the fool today
And I
Can see us vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
But home
Is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

And I can't ask for things to be still again
No I can't ask for you
To offer the world through your eyes
Longing for home again
But home
Is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

My window through which
Nothing hides
And everything sings
I'm counting the signs
And cursing the miles in between

But home
Is a feeling I buried in you
That I buried in you

I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

When I breathe
It only hurts when I breathe
When I breathe
It only hurts when I breathe

-Greenwheel 'Breathe'

Forgive me if I got the timeline wrong, as far as the year and date goes. I did it in relation to my other 3 stories in the series, so I think it should be 2013…