YESSS! THE DEMON LIVES! That's right folks, the lil hellion is back, and ready to make you laugh your asses off! Sorry for the long hiatus, it wasn't intentional, but school has just gotten in the way…

Disclaimer: DBZ Not mine! Trigun Also not mine!

Just a few starter notes:

"" means speech

means thought

But I thought that was Dad's job!

Chapter Eight: "No, it's the wallpaper"

Mission Stats

Briefing:The Current whereabouts of the subjects are unknown; INTEL reports knowledge of their general location to be within the city of "Augusta" on the planet "Gunsmoke." Subject, "Vash the Stampede" appears to be in the area as well the one called "Knives." As of now, both are currently neutral to our cause. If and ONLY IF they interfere, will you be allowed to engage. Otherwise, avoid all possible contact. Communications to base will be present near the warp grid. If the need arises, you may call for reinforcements.

Objectives: 1. Scout the area for Hostiles

2. Search and rescue: "Reena" and "Jack"

3. Secure subjects within the warp grid

DO NOT ENGAGE HOSTILES UNLESS PROVOKED

End Mission Stats

Goten checked and double checked his equipment once again. Though there wasn't much to keep track of, it made him feel better to do so. The heat of the planet and the wide barren desert unnerved him. This was his FIRST mission, after all.

"Might as well get on with it…" he spoke to himself.

Before he had made the jump into this… dimension, he had been fully briefed on the task at hand. Apparently, Felix's long-lost friends, Reena and Jack, had by chance been found. Unfortunately, the conditions they were under were not the greatest, as they had been spotted with a couple of burly men, Reena being roughly abused and Jack, chained and shackled. This puzzled the boys at PIC back home (after a year, Goten had begun to think of Purgatory as home), considering that both Jack and Reena had a considerable amount of strength, easily enough to surpass more than 99 of the population on Gunsmoke. Since Jack and Reena would easily identify Felix and his spiky head of hair, PIC decided against it, believing that there was too great of a risk at hand. So they sent Goten, but as to what the cause was, he could not be sure.

As he trudged on, he noticed the lack of wind in the area. Usually, wind was present in barren deserts. Goten also noticed an odd aura surrounding the area. Not evil, no. Something different… something more… he thought. As the landscaped passed by, a small speck of color appeared on the horizon, a small grin appeared on his face so I finally get to meet Vash the Stampede… His grin grew larger as an amusing thought came into mind I wonder what he'd look like with pink hair… Goten snickered at the thought.

As the tiny speck grew larger, Goten quickened his pace. Moving at the speed of a leopard-on-crack, he made his way towards the fairly large city. He circled around the large sand dunes that rounded the city, trying his best to avoid being detected. Alright Goten, he thought here's where all of your training comes in. No mess-ups or Sirren'll put me in detention again. As the fourteen year old found a relatively secluded area near the outskirts of the city, he found himself reminiscing of his first semester at STCA- more specifically, the first time he entered the Cafeteria…

FLASHBACK

"Whoa!" Goten nearly lost his footing as he stared into what appeared to be an endless white space. "This is the Cafeteria? Does…does it really go on forever?"

Standing next to him, Felix let out a grin.

"No, it's the wallpaper" Goten felt gravity take over as he executed a flawless face fault. Mustering up some strength, he stood up with shaky knees.

"WHAT THE HELL? THIS IS WALLPAPER!"

"Yes."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YES! A GUY COULD GET LOST IN THIS PLACE!"

"Not really."

"Oh really?" Goten replied with disbelief "Prove it."

"Just start walking"

…

"Who, me?"

"Yes, Captain Obvious, now hurry up, or we might miss the welcoming party!"

"Eh? What welcoming party!"

"I-err, oops. I mean, um, well, what I meant wuz… Mrs. Welca Ming's party! Yeah, that's it! Welca Ming's party!"

Silence…

"Welca Ming?" Felix looked at Goten expectantly, hoping he would take the bait Goten sighed in response "baka…" he muttered. "Let's just get out of here before the-" Goten was interrupted by the sound of closing doors.

…

"Felix?"

"…Yes?"

"Please tell me that wasn't the sound of the cafeteria doors closing."

"Uh…we might be here for a while…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Goten's voice echoed within the…seemingly… endless cafeteria.

END FLASHBACK

Goten chuckled at the memory. He and Felix had been lost in the Cafeteria for quite a while. It was nearly a hour and a half before one of them had ran head first into the wall. Another 10 minutes of circling around the room and they had eventually found the exit. Of course, they immediately headed over to Sirren's office to get him to do something about the cafeteria. Afterwards, getting around in the cafeteria was not a problem. Of course, since they were the ones to suggest it, Goten and Felix had to do all the work.

Heh, that certainly wasn't your average school day. he thought

Getting back to the task at hand, Goten sobered up and took a quick glance at his surroundings. For a city as large as this, it seemed strange that no one was around. The aura he had sensed earlier grew stronger; the energy seemed to be a variant of ki. Moving with the grace of a panther and the speed of a bullet (A/N which isn't really that fast for Goten), he winded down the worn roads of the city. As Goten traveled further into the city, the dusty "half-gravel, half-sand" streets slowly changed into stone paths. The wooden and mud buildings also began to change into stone buildings. Even some mini-skyscrapers were present.

A sudden spike of ki caught Goten's attention. It was in a direction opposite to that of the strange aura. However, this ki seemed to be good, though relatively weak. It was hardly any greater than Videl's ki at her max. The energy seemed to spike up a little more, and then slowly die down. Whatever it was, it would probably disappear soon if Goten didn't follow it. Turning towards the source of the energy, he took off in its direction at maximum ground speed.

Purgatory, PIC, Basement level K, Briefing room

Felix lazily sighed as he watched the clock tick away. His boredom could not be expressed in any way possible. All it took was 10 minutes, and boredom came crashing down on him again, especially since he'd been alive for what seemed like an eternity. But he would have to endure it. He had to be alive for a few more years. Goten was still not properly trained, and could not take on his position yet.

"What's up?" Felix turned his head towards Goddess in the doorway.

"Nothin' really" he paused "just thinking about Goten."

"Are you worried because it's his first mission?"

"Not really…I was just thinking about how things would be when I step down and let him take my role." Felix sighed once more. "We haven't discussed it in a while, you know."

"Discussed what?" there was a pause before his reply.

"The Link" another pause.

"When are you going to tell him? He deserves to know."

"But is he ready to know? That's a question I've been my asking myself the whole time he's been here." At this, Genesis giggled "What? What's so funny?"

Genesis paused in her giggling before answering "He's only been here for a year, Felix. That's not too long when you compare it to YOUR LIFETIME. Relax, ok? He'll be fine. Besides, if he lives as long as you, he'll have plenty of time to sort his thoughts out, maybe a little too much if you ask me." Felix chuckled in response.

"I guess your right. Still… I feel a little scared about telling him. Guess its normal, huh?" Genesis nodded.

"Gods are just as normal as mortals, remember Felix?" he nodded "Look, we can tell him 'bout the whole 'Link' thing when he comes back, k?"

Felix waited a moment before allowing himself a grin. "Ok."

"So…"

"…so"

"Wanna play some Halo?"

"Sure. Is Sirren invited?"

"No."

"…but, why?" Genesis grinned.

"So I can whoop your ass in private"

"…..eh?"

Augusta, Gunsmoke

Ruins.

That was what best described the sight Goten was seeing. Rubble was everywhere, dust seemed more abundant than air and the eerie silence and desolation of the place was really going against the weird energy readings he was getting from this place. He had long decided that the energy he felt was not ki, and that it seemed to be slightly good, however it was seemingly being lowered as time passed, and it was extremely low to begin with. As Goten searched for the source of the energy, his eyes caught what seemed to be the shine of something metallic.

Strange… he thought Why would there be anything left standing here? The teen went in for a closer, and to his surprise, he found a metallic trap door clamped onto the bottom of what was once a building. 'What the…' the door was easily pulled open and Goten found himself slowly stepping down a stone staircase. Goten found it surprisingly cool in the passage, considering how hot it had been on the surface. Then he heard noise, something that faintly sounded like the movement of air…

'Ventilation…' if such a thing was present here, then it meant that people would be residing in this place. That was rather hard to believe considering the ruined condition of the structures above him. Goten continued to trudge further down into the darkness below. It was about a minute or 2 later when a dim light could be seen from around the corners of the now circling staircase.

As Goten neared what seemed to be the exit, the shuffle of feet could be heard just around the corner. Crouching in the darkness, he stilled his movement as much as possible, and remaining silent all the while. With his ki lowered to near-nothing, the boy listened in and hoped for something useful.

"Hehe-hic- so, didja here about the-hic- beauty the boss caught last wee-hic-k" The alto of a voice seemed to have a slur to it. Goten guessed that the guard was most likely drunk.

"Aye, a real cutie, she is. Feisty too." The second voice seemed more sober, deeper, and slightly gruff.

"Ya think-hic-da boss'l let us have a lil fun –hic- wit her?"

"Of course not! The spoiled brat will keep the lil vixen to himself. The kid is always mixin business with pleasure. I tell ya, Mic, nuthin good aint gonna come o' this." The voices began to fade, Goten guessed they were out of sight by now, as all there was left to hear was their echoes.

"Hm….a 'beauty'… that must be Reena…" Goten pondered on the recently acquired info "hm...and this…'spoiled brat?'... they called him 'boss', so he must be the dude in charge around here…" With those last few thoughts, Goten stood up from his position and worked his way out into the hall. Both ends were clear, however, there were security cameras in each corner.

Goten grinned "Can't catch what they can't see" and with that, he jetted down the hallway, with speed so great, he remained undetected by the cameras.

And now, for some comic relief…

Purgatory, Palace of Purgatory, Felix's Chambers

"Damnit!" a PS2 controller was flung across the room and through a saiya-jin proof window, while a maddened Felix was pulling his hairs out. "WHAT THE HELL? SNIPERS CAN'T DO THAT! THAT WAS 3 DAMN VEHICLES THAT BULLET PASSED THROUGH, HOW THE HELL COULD IT HIT ME! THAT WAS SO FUCKING CHEAP, GEN!" To this the beautiful Goddess next to him could only giggle.

"What can I say? You suck" She grinned.

"Bleh. I knew I was gonna lose anyway, the moment that plasma grenade landed on me after being thrown across the entire map…" Felix sighed in defeat as Genesis' giggling suddenly became unadulterated laughter.

"…" Felix did not say a word as he stood up and left the room, leaving the goddess to suffocate in her own Halo-induced laughter.

Back to the Story…

Location N/A

It had been about half an hour, and there were 3 things that bothered Goten more then anything about this place.

1. It smelled like the contents of 2-year-old's diapers
2. It was filled with the contents of a 2-year-old's diapers.
3. He needed to relieve himself of the contents of a 2-year-old's diapers.
4. There were no bathrooms.

"Dear god, you'd think the health inspector would have heard of this place by now…Jesus, not even Yajirobe could have crapped stuff this bad…"

Ah, but it seemed that which loved to torment him would torment him some more, in the saddest and most sickening way possible. Because, you see, in the next 10 seconds, Goten experienced some of the worst luck that any man could have possibly experienced.

Timer
1 Sec: He stepped in some poop.
2 Sec: He slipped on the poop
4 Sec: He landed face-first in a pile of dung.
5 Sec: The noise alerted nearby guards, and they rushed towards where the sound came from.
7 Sec: The unbearable smell was too much for him and caused him to faint.
8 Sec: He was found by the guards
9 Sec: He was chained and shackled by the guards
10 Sec: They rolled his face around in the shit a little more before taking him to a holding pen.

So, as you can see folks, Goten was not the luckiest of the bunch. What happens next, you ask? Well, how about we wait till Goten wakes up…

But until then…

Purgatory, Palace of Purgatory, Felix's Chambers

Genesis was still rolling around on the floor, gasping for air as she struggled not to laugh. During his exit, Felix had apparently forgotten to tie his belt buckle. Seeing as it was free to cling on to whatever it wished, it chose the door handle, and being as stubborn as it was, the little annoyance tore Felix's pants off altogether, leaving a pantless lord to walk the halls. Deciding that it would have been a good time to be nice again, Genesis got up and grabbed the ripped pants, still breathing a little deeply from her previous outburst.

Before heading off to find Felix, she stared at the pants for a moment…"Nah…he should suffer" She grinned wildly. "I wonder if these would fit me…" and from that day forth, Felix never saw those pants again.

End-

I hope you enjoyed that chappie, folks. Its been a while, but I think I feel up to humor again. So if you're willing to tolerate my nonsense, then I think I can entertain y'all for a while. Until then, cya!

O, btw, I'm also starting another story on it's going to be a serious work rather then my usual comedy. Please R&R! Here's the address: http/ Thanks, Baibai now! P