Part 2: Missing

Gojyo

I sit with my legs stretched out in front of me on the couch. Hard to believe it's been a year. Life's gone on without him. It's so strange thinking about it like that, but it's true. The world still turns without Cho Hakkai. Goku and Kougaiji still banter back and forth about who owes who. Houmei still rules the kitchen with an iron fist and Yaone still holds the title of most clueless broad. The children still play. I still hit on chicks—though not as much since Lirin and I started seeing each other. Damn it's strange. There have been happy days since he's been gone. Real smiles and laughter, some tears too. And it all went on without Hakkai. Not saying I don't still miss him, but we all are still alive.

The only one who hasn't moved on is Sanzo. Sanzo has taken up Hakkai's habit of faking it like an old pro. You'd swear he wasn't the same guy we went West with. He doesn't act annoyed or pissed or anything. The guy's a blank slate. Hate to say it, but I wish he'd shoot at me or something. If I thought getting laid would help him, I'd go buy him a pack of hookers, but I know sex can't make things better. I learned that from Hakkai.

The years fly backwards and I'm lying on the bed beside him. "We are eventually going to have to get some sleep, Gojyo," he tssked gently.

"What's the fun in that?" I asked rolling over to face him.

"Maybe it's not fun, but it so happens to be necessary." The stuffiness of his "teacher" voice was belied by the smile on his lips.

"The way I see it, I'm doing you a favor. This way you'll be too exhausted to have your nightmares." I had meant it as a joke, but the look on his face told me how not funny I was. Even in my bed, he remembered Kanan.

I shake away the memory.

I went to Goku's with every intention of finding a solution to the "Sanzo Problem." He's just as stuck as I am. Nothing has worked. We've done everything to piss him off short of speaking badly about Hakkai. And I mean EVERYTHING. Fought, whined, made it through the alphabet of insults twenty times, thrown things, drug mud through the house, cut up his robes, put bugs in his sheets, poured water on his smokes, locked him in a room with Lirin (lucky bastard), put peroxide in his shampoo, drew smiley faces on his glasses, bought him a "pet" cobra, used all of his origami paper for tic tac toe, set him up on a blind date with a baboon. Damn, we're running out of ideas here. This is even worse than I could have imagined. Even Hakkai would have cracked by now.

Goku spent most of the afternoon having his curled by the twins and then trying to put Shinta to bed. By the time Houmei got back from the market to watch the kids, Goku was sound asleep with Pretty Posey Princess Pink lipstick smeared across his face. With nothing better to do, I started to lay it all out to Houmei…you know womanly intuition and all. She shook her head and said that she suggested just talking to him about it. How the hell do I talk about it when he won't even say Hakkai's name? He always manages to dodge the subject.

I straighten my collar as I stare out the window. Hakkai always teased me that I didn't look like myself when I was cleaned up. Today, though, I felt like out of respect for him I should try not to look like a bum. Goku and his family are coming up the path. The girls skip ahead. They never really knew Hakkai. After he lost his eyes, the girls were afraid of him at first. From then on, no matter how much he loved children, he kept his distance. I walk out on the porch and the two take a running leap into my arms. "Uncle Gojyo!" I tickle them and set them back on the ground.

Goku smiles and tussles Taka's hair. "Is he coming with us?"

"Not sure. I'm not going to force him," I say.

Goku nods and brushes past me and up the stairs. If anyone can talk to Sanzo it's Goku.