Part 3: Family

Goku

I knock on the door expecting one of two things—silence or a gunshot. I hope it's the gunshot. No luck though. I open the door uninvited. "Sanzo?"

He's sitting cross legged on the floor with a very familiar green tunic in his hands. Frayed on the edges and worn, but it's still the same shade. Meeting my gaze, he doesn't bother to move. "I'd have thought you'd have gone by now."
"You know Houmei. She spent half an hour making sure she didn't forget anything. I had to eat a second breakfast she took so long." My joke goes unnoticed. I continue skirting the subject. "We packed a picnic. I thought we could eat by the stream."

"Sounds nice," he says, the gruffness in his voice a shadow of what used to be.

"Are you coming?" I ask finally.

"No."

"No?"

"I said my goodbye. What's left to do up there? Put flowers on his grave and pretend they mean something?"

"I'm not really going to visit Hakkai," I say.

"Then why go?" He asks balling the fabric in his hands. At least it's a sign of life.

"I go to celebrate the memories. I go because it reminds me why he lived. It brings back all of those days we spent together…"

He cuts me off. "What would you do if Houmei died?"
"You mean when," I correct bitterly. I've thought about it too often. "I'm not like other people, Sanzo. I'm 24 and I look 16. My body is slow to age. Unless someone kills me, I know that Houmei will get old and die before I do. Do you think I like that? Damn it, Sanzo, I love Houmei every bit as much as you love Hakkai. If she died, I would care for my children. I would pray that somehow we meet again someday, but I wouldn't roll over and die. I would have to live and make the best of it."

"I'm sorry, Goku. I can't go with you." He looks away.

In my heart, I knew he wouldn't come, but I had hoped. I shut the door behind me.

As we walk up the hill, I take a moment to look around me. It's a beautiful day, but I'm having a hard time enjoying it. Hakkai loved to be outdoors, in almost any weather (with the exception of rain). I've missed him. I miss his advice and his cooking, but mostly I miss the way he cared. He rarely criticized me, even when I deserved it, and he was always there to be my shoulder to cry on when things got rough. I love Sanzo, but he would never have the heart to heart talks with me the way Hakkai did. I'd come to see Sanzo as my best friend and Hakkai as a father. I've tried to follow his example with my children. Only time will tell if I've gotten it right.

I steal a look at my wife. My talk with Sanzo has me slightly paranoid. She's pregnant again. Every time she goes into labor, I about hold my breath until I hear the baby crying and Houmei's threats to castrate me. Despite what I told Sanzo, I'm afraid to face life without her.

I feel a tug at my shirt. "Daddy, Taka splashed water on my dress," Mayu whines.

"Awww, that's too bad sweetie, but it will dry up in the sun, I promise," I tell her scooping her up in my arms.

Golden eyes like my own stare back at me. I'm not exactly a normal demon, and so my children aren't exactly your average half demons. She looks like her mother. "Daddy, why are we here?"
I clear my throat. How would Hakkai have explained this one? "We're here because you Uncle Hakkai was a very special person. We've come to share our memories of him. Now, why don't you and Taka pick some flowers for on his grave?"

I watch as she runs off. My family is my life.