I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf.
What about side by side with a friend?
Aye…I could do that.
The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King
John didn't remember stepping through the gate. He felt the ground come up to meet him and it hurt. He panted through the pain, hearing a buzzing of sound all around him, and it made his head hurt, so he scrunched his eyes closed. But something touched his face and made him jerk in reaction and when he opened his eyes he saw a blurry face looming over him. "M-McKay..." John croaked.
"John..."
He knew that voice. Elizabeth. He closed his eyes against the sting of tears. They were home. But the brief moment of joy that John felt spiraled away into darkness.
oOo
Elizabeth sat on the bottom step, fingers locked together as she fought to keep herself from shaking. In a way it still hadn't really sunk in that Sheppard and McKay were back. They had come home. But it was hard to accept after seeing them as they lay in a tangled heap on the floor. Both filthy and stinking, damp and pale, barely recognizable under a week's worth of facial hair, eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion. They were shells of their former selves and their images haunted her still.
Sheppard had looked the worst. Scarecrow thin, eyes unfocused, his grip as he clutched her arm had been so weak that when his eyes had rolled back and he had slumped away, Elizabeth had feared that he was dead. Beckett had assured her there was a pulse, but his eyes were grim as he turned to head out with the gurneys.
She should be going with them, Elizabeth thought, but she didn't move. She knew Teyla and Ford had followed behind and she would find her way there as well. But right now she needed a moment to give thanks to God and to offer a simple prayer for the two men who were the heart and soul of Atlantis.
oOo
Eight hours passed before Beckett called Elizabeth to his office. Ford and Teyla were already there. Elizabeth resisted the urge to turn and run away. She wasn't sure she was ready for the truth. But she schooled her features into a neutral expression as she stepped through the doorway.
Carson gestured for her to sit down.
"I'll stand," Elizabeth said quietly. Then she asked, "How are they?"
"Alive." Carson let the word echo in the air for a long moment, then he slumped into a nearby chair and rubbed a hand over his tired face. "They beat the odds, I'll tell you that much. By rights...they should be dead."
Ford glared at Beckett. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You make it sound like you wished they were!"
Carson waved a hand at Ford. "Not at all...not at all. I just want you to understand that they've been through hell and it's going to be a long, slow, recovery. Particularly for Major Sheppard."
Elizabeth noticed that Carson looked worried. "What's wrong with them exactly?" she prompted.
"Well...they're both suffering from exhaustion, malnourishment and severe dehydration," Carson replied. "Major Sheppard seems to have the worst of it though."
"He looked so thin," Teyla interjected, softly.
Carson nodded. "Aye. He's lost about eight pounds he could ill afford to loose. Being slim it shows more on him."
Elizabeth closed her eyes as the unbidden image of Sheppard lying on the gateroom floor, danced in her head. He had looked so damn fragile. Breakable. And yet, even then he had asked about McKay. "What else?" Elizabeth was surprised by how harsh her tone sounded.
"Doctor Bell had to perform surgery on Rodney's knees." Carson sighed. "I won't bore you with the medical details, but it was in bad shape."
"But he'll be okay?" Teyla looked concerned.
Carson nodded. "He should heal nicely. He'll have a bit of physical therapy to suffer through, but he'll be okay."
Ford looked relieved to hear that before asking, "And Major Sheppard?"
"He's not doing so well." Carson did not look happy to be imparting that news. "He's suffered a severe concussion and there was some internal bleeding. His stomach lining and esophagus."
"From what?" Elizabeth asked, although she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know.
Carson made a face. "Vomiting. There was nothing in his stomach to throw up. And being so dehydrated there wasn't really even any bile. The acids in his stomach - "
"We get the idea!" Ford quickly cut him off and swallowed hard, looking a little green.
"Right." Carson sighed. "Anyway...the major is still unconscious."
Teyla reached out to touch Beckett's arm, drawing his attention to her. "But he will wake up."
Elizabeth realized it was a statement, not a question, and she found herself silently echoing it.
"He's a strong man," Carson declared. "But right now it's a waiting game."
"What about Rodney?" Elizabeth needed a ray of hope. "Is he awake yet?"
Carson shook his head. "He came awake for a few minutes after the surgery, but now he's asleep. He needs it. They both do."
Elizabeth nodded. "Can I see them anyway?"
"Of course." Carson offered a weak smile, then he turned to look at Ford and Teyla. "I know you want to see them too, but I'd like you to wait till tomorrow."
"Tomorrow then," Teyla replied.
Ford looked like he would protest, but then he nodded. When Teyla walked out, he followed her.
Elizabeth made to go as well, but stopped when Beckett put out a hand. She frowned as she looked at him. "What is it?"
"I just wanted you to know that Rodney spoke a bit when he woke up."
"What did he say?" Elizabeth was ready to take anything she could get.
Carson looked like he might not say, but then he blurted out, "He said something about John being both Frodo and Sam."
Elizabeth shook her head at that. It didn't make any sense. "Frodo and Sam," she repeated. "Lord of the Rings?"
"I'm guessing," Carson allowed.
"Thanks." Elizabeth patted his shoulder then headed out. She stopped by Rodney's bed first. He had several IV lines running into him and his face was still bearded, but he looked clean out, just pale. Pale and bruised. Elizabeth felt herself smiling as she reached out to touch him. She needed to feel him.
"You made it home, Rodney," she whispered. "It's going to be all right now." And that she said more for herself. She needed him. Atlantis needed him. Patting his shoulder, even though he wouldn't feel it, Elizabeth stepped around his bed and headed for the corner. But she stopped when she realized a nurse was with Sheppard. She almost turned away until she noticed what the nurse was doing. Shaving the major.
Elizabeth moved closer and simply watched as the blond-haired nurse, she thought her name was Julie, worked at her task. Her hands were sure and steady as she scraped away Sheppard's beard and mustache. She had only a few swipes left then she wiped away the shaving cream with a soft towel before stepping back to admire her handiwork. "Looks good," Elizabeth said softly.
Julie jumped then turned and looked embarrassed. "I know it's foolish...but he's such a handsome man and I just...Well...I just wanted..." She broke off.
But Elizabeth knew what she meant. "You wanted him to look...normal."
"Yes." Julie looked grateful to be understood. "It's good to have them both back."
"Yes...it is." Elizabeth was more grateful for that than she could ever put into words.
She stepped closer to the bed and let herself really look at Sheppard. He was so pale and, like Rodney, his skin looked bruised. He also looked gaunt and haggard but he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Without meaning too, Elizabeth reached out and brushed a lock of his hair off his forehead. It wasn't the touch of a friend, or that of a woman attracted to a man, it was something more maternal. Something more innate.
Julie grabbed her shaving supplies. "I'll leave you with him," she said, then she was gone.
Elizabeth kept her focus on Sheppard. "Welcome home, John," she said softly. "It's good to have you back." There was more she wanted to say, but it lodged in her throat and she couldn't swallow it down without choking. So with a final look, just to convince herself that he really was here and alive, Elizabeth turned and walked away. She was out the door before she had to lift a hand to swipe at her face.
oOo
Rodney dreamed. Sometimes he dreamed about Sam and Frodo, and sometimes he dreamed that he and Sheppard were still trapped on that godforsaken planet just walking around and around in an endless circle. Unlike Sam and Frodo, they never made it home. And it was at this point in the dream that Rodney would wake up and turn his head, and let himself breathe a sigh of relief to see Major Sheppard lying in the bed next to him.
It had been four days since they came home. Rodney didn't remember much about the first two days. Carson told him about the surgery then said he mostly slept. The third day Rodney drank and ate whatever Carson would give him then he slept some more. Today he felt better. His knee still hurt but the pain pills he was on kept it to a dull - ignorable- throb. Anything that wasn't the bone deep, stabbing agony of before, well that worked for Rodney. This pain he could deal with.
"You're awake," Carson stated, as he made his way over to Rodney's side.
"How observant of you," Rodney shot back, without thinking.
Carson grinned from ear to ear. "Now that's music to my ears, that is. You're feeling better?"
Rodney nodded. "Any change with Sheppard?"
"No...he still hasn't stirred."
"But he's going to wake up...right?"
Carson nodded. "I'm betting he will. When he's ready."
Rodney sighed and rubbed his eyes. They felt tight and gritty and no way in hell was he going to cry, even if he had earned the damn tears. "That might be awhile," he whispered. Letting his head drop back against the pillow, Rodney let a heavy silence fall between them for a moment, then he asked, "Can I sit with him?"
"Eat something then maybe I'll put you in a wheelchair for an hour or so," Carson allowed.
"Okay." Rodney didn't have the energy to say anything else. He just turned his head and watched as Major Sheppard slept on.
oOo
Another two days passed before Rodney was willing to tell everyone what happened. They were circled around Sheppard's bed, Rodney ensconced in the wheel chair they had last used for Old Weir. He plucked at the blanket that was spread over his lap as he told his story.
When he got to the part where they crashed and had to bury Hicks, Rodney broke off for a moment. He felt everyone watching him, but he let them wait. When he was ready, when he knew he could continue without choking up, Rodney locked his eyes on Sheppard's face and continued.
"I couldn't walk on my leg so the major made a travois. He pulled me all the way home," Rodney said, with a hint of pride in his voice. And he was damn proud of Sheppard. Proud and grateful. He knew he wouldn't be here telling this story if not for the major.
"He pulled you all the way to the gate?" Carson repeated, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Rodney nodded without looking away from Sheppard's still form. "He was determined to bring us home."
Carson looked stunned. "That's amazing. That he could even walk on his own with his head injury...let alone pull you. Amazing."
"Sounds like a Sheppard thing to do," Elizabeth interjected, and her eyes were locked on the major as well.
"Yes...he is a strong man with a defiant spirit," Teyla added.
Ford was grinning and nodding, but then the grin faltered as he looked over at his CO. "He should be waking up though...shouldn't he?"
Rodney felt a flare of anger but quashed it. He wasn't mad at Ford and it was a fair question. But Rodney understood why Sheppard was still sleeping. "He'll wake up when he's ready," Rodney stated. "He's just...he's tired." And Rodney knew all about tired. No matter how much he slept he still felt exhausted. And thirsty and hungry and it was a sad thing when it actually felt good to pee like a normal person.
"You should get some more rest, Rodney," Elizabeth said softly, letting one hand come to rest on his shoulder.
"Doctor Weir is right," Carson added, as he made to stand behind the wheel chair.
Rodney stopped him. "I want to sit here for a bit. Just a few more minutes." He wanted some time alone with Sheppard. They needed to talk. No one could understand what Rodney was feeling except for Sheppard, and he needed to share what he was feeling. He needed to get it out of him before he burst wide open.
Carson looked ready to protest but then he nodded. "All right, Rodney. You have fifteen minutes." With that Carson shooed everyone else out of the room.
Once he was alone with the major, Rodney wheeled himself closer to the bed. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't say a word. Instead he reached out, slipping his hand through the tangle of IV lines and monitor wires so that he could grip Sheppard's hand. "Don't give up now, major," he whispered. "You're almost all the way home."