AN: It's been a while, I know, so here's a slightly longer one to make up for lost time. I'm afraid it may be a while longer for the next chapter, so I hope this can compensate enough. Holidays soon, so I'll do lots of relaxing and writing. Not that there's much people watching this, but… shrugs Anyway, I like this chapter, it's very reflective, and I'm sorry I can't write flashbacks really well. I suppose it would be helpful if I see the episode more than once but what can you do?
I used a lot of dialogue, (good ol' transcripts) and I'd just like to disclaim that it is not mine and I didn't write it. I have to say I like Bregman's story of Kristophsky a lot, it's very nice and deep. Stargate is not mine either, if it was Janet would still be alive because she's awesome! Teryl why did you have to leave! Waaaaaaah cries
Anyway, on with the story! Enjoy!
Flashback
Confusion was everywhere. There were people all around him. Staff blasts were ringing in his ears. He could see fallen men and Jaffa lying on the ground.
He and Janet were running towards a wounded Airman Wells from SG-15. The Airman's friend Bosworth spoke rushed. 'There's a lot of blood coming form underneath him.' He moved back into a defensive stance. 'I'll cover you from the ridge.' Janet kneeled onto the grass beside the injured man. 'I'm Doctor Janet Frasier,' she said clearly to him. 'Can you hear me?'
The airman let out short, pained gasps. 'Yeah…hurts so bad… I think it went right through me!' Daniel winced, seeing the tears threatening to fall from the young man's eyes as he battled with the pain and the fear of dying of a foreign planet, far away from his family and friends. Daniel tried to talk to him as Janet evaluated his condition. 'What's your name?'
'Simon Wells', he wheezed. 'Am I gonna die?'
'Not if I have anything to do with it.' Janet interrupted with a determination in her voice that he had become familiar with over the years. 'Ok, we need to roll him over and stop the bleeding, ok?' She enlisted Daniel for help. 'Hang in the there, Simon.' Together they carefully turned him onto his back, Simon cursing loudly in pain. Daniel kept reassuring him and moved from Simon's topic of what happened to, 'What's going on at home right now?'
'My wife…she's pregnant.' Oh well that makes things a whole lot better.
'Yeah, uh, this your first?' The airman nodded, 'congratulations.'
Janet something to Simon and he gave a scream. 'Well that's good, at least you felt that,' Janet said. But the Airman was losing concentration, and was now focussing on the pain. It didn't help that a soldier came over the radio saying that their position had been compromised and they were not going to be able to hold the gate for much longer. Simon Wells urged them to go and leave him.
'You can't help me!'
'Nobody is going anywhere!' Janet said with a fierce loyalty that meant that there was absolutely no call for argument.
'I can't believe I'm not gonna see my son!' Daniel held a bandage over Simon's wound, his hand now stained red. Simon saw it and panicked. 'Okay, just stay focused. So it… it's a boy, you're uh, gonna have.' That didn't deter him.'
'Tell me the truth… I'm not gonna make it, right?'
'You're gonna be fine.' Please be fine.
Simon Wells was two inches from a panic attack. 'Doctor Jackson… please! Please… just let me tell my wife that…agh!' He screamed again, feeling the pain most acutely as Janet did some more stuff to him. Daniel exchanged a look with Janet. He knew how important it was to tell your loved one's goodbye when you were dying. Janet knew that too and gave a simple nod. 'Ok, ok.' Daniel said and handed the IV bag to Janet so he could get his camera ready. 'Got it… breath, Simon… it's okay.' Janet reassured him, not knowing that those words she spoke would be some of her last…
End of FlashbackWith tears in his eyes Daniel got up from his desk and grabbed the camera out of the reporter's reach. Masking the pain in his eyes, he glared at Bregman, angry with him for forcing him to relive the memory and the horrible event that followed. 'I said: "Now's not a good idea." What part of that didn't you understand!' His teeth were gritted together and it was only the fact that his task was authorised by the President that stopped Daniel from literally kicking him out.
He turned to look at Bregman, who was staring fixedly at the camera. 'You got something on tape didn't you?' Daniel could see the wheels turning in the guy's head and his suppressed excitement at the thought of a first-person view of a botched off-world mission 'Get out', Daniel said in a dangerously low voice. 'Get. Out.'
Emmet could tell that he was on dangerous ground with the doctor at the moment. 'Okay… I will. Alright.' He walked to the door, genuinely feeling sorry for the man. He hadn't known Doctor Fraiser for that long, but he could tell that she was a pretty special woman who was highly respected at the base. Suddenly Emmet stopped, remembering a similar situation… He turned around cautiously. Well here goes. 'You know ... I once did a piece on this war photographer, his name's Martin Kristofsky. For six months he was with a unit in Vietnam and the day before he was schedule to leave. The day before ... he's out with the unit and it was just a routine patrol or so they thought but suddenly, the Lieutenant pulled him down and Kristophsky hadn't intended to take a picture at that moment but his hands were on the camera and he hit the ground so hard that it just went off. The picture captured the Lieutenant getting shot in the head and Kristophsky said to me, "Well that bullet would of hit me, should of hit me."
And he never showed that picture to anyone. Not for 25 years, but 25 years later he got up one morning and he looked at that picture and he saw something that wasn't horrific and he decided to tell the story because he realised that he hadn't accidentally taken a picture of a man dying. It was of a man saving his life.' He said the last part firmly, causing Daniel to look up in surprise. Simon Wells had been well enough for visitors, but he could only imagine that thoughts of guilt would be plaguing him.
Bregman continued, 'The picture I'm making, that I'm trying to make is about what you people do every single day. Under extreme circumstances that no one can even imagine. And I don't know what happened out there, I'm sorry about whatever it was and if you did tape something of it ... that's not gonna change what happened. What it will change is how you feel about it.'
Leaving those profound words hanging in the room to dry (into Daniel's mind); Emmet turned around and walked out of the room, much to Daniel's relief. During the story that Emmett had told, Daniel had listened intently, although it hadn't looked like it. Twenty-five years. Twenty-five years Martin Kristofsky had been racked with guilt, twenty-five years of blaming himself, twenty-five years of living with the Lieutenant's death on his head. But what had changed for Kristofsky? What had made him look at the picture in a different light? What made him tell Emmet that story?
'That's what you people do every single day…'
'It was of a man saving his life…'
Janet. Janet had done that. She had died doing her job, saving a man's life. A noble cause to die for, but she was still dead. And even if he changed the way he looked at things, it wouldn't change the fact. The fact that she would never come back. Daniel sighed and took the camera into his hands, feeling the cold metal on his skin.
The video camera had caught many things on tape, different civilisations, people, events, worlds; everything from the Minoan Land of Light to Apophis' ship to Nirrti's fortress. He never thought that it would capture the death of Janet on it. Never would he have imagined – it was too painful to think about the possibility of any of his friends dying let alone Janet.
And Cassie… they all loved Cassie, but it was Sam who broke the news to her; that her mother was dead, just like her real parents. Dead. He had been a little busy in the post-war after-math, but he had managed to visit her for a while. He had sat with her. Just sat with his arms around her shoulder, just giving support, just being there fro her. Actually they were being there for each other. Both of them felt the loss greatly and comforted the other, finding solace in each other's silent company. And even though Cassie was a strong kid, he knew she was hurting much more than she would ever say. But that was okay with Daniel, as long as she admitted that to herself. Cassie was going to live with Sam until things settled down, and was going to come to the base on Wednesday for the memorial service and he was going to stand next to her, proudly saluting the brave, courageous, wonderful woman that they had both loved. He was going to stand next to her and pay tribute to her mother as she was honoured. Honoured for dying for her country. Honoured for saving the lives of many other brave warriors.
END OF CHAPTER 4