Writen: 5/6/05
Word Count: 106 for part one, 99 for part two, 114 for part three
Rating: M for homosexuality in part three
Notes: Three connected drabbles.
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Whenever my mother looked at me, she cried. She would scream and holler and beat me.
And I was okay with it, because her tears would stop, even if just for a moment.
There were times, though, when I would have preferred her tears to that look of utter disappointment.
That look broke my heart more than her tears ever could.
She quickly learned that the look, combined with tears, would make me do absolutely anything.
Maybe that's why I'm such a player now. I'm searching for her acceptance from another woman.
After all, most little boys want to marry their mommies when they're little.
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Maybe that explains my attraction to 'Kai, too.
He's such a mother hen, always taking care of us. Even before 'us'--the four headed West--he took care of me.
He still does, too; making sure I'm eating right, keeping me company when he can tell I'm wallowing, just being there when I need him.
Is that what a real parent is supposed to do? Or is it just human nature to take care of those we love?
I don't know anymore.
Maybe Mom helped me, in a way. I'd never appreciate him, if it hadn't been for her.
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Is it wrong to use Hakkai as a way to escape, to forget everything but us, just for a little while?
Should I even care?
Everything about him is Heaven... His scent, his taste, the way his body feels against mine.
Buried deep in his body, watching him writhe beneath me, I'm not a bastard son, not a half-breed, just a man pleasuring his lover.
Lover. I like that word.
We move together slowly, enjoying the drag on skin-on-skin; our ardor momentarily suppressed by the need of tactile contact.
I hear him moan that he loves me. Words I once would have turned from I now wrap myself in.
Because I love him too.
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