Part 25: Come Clean

Sanzo

I race up the stair and ignore the monks staring at me. Some of them recognize me, I think, but it doesn't matter. Two guards try to bar my way from the temple housing the three aspects, but I send them both fly to the ground with a series of quick motions. They shouldn't have got in my way.

"Where is he?" I demand as I throw open the doors.

"Come for your lover?" a familiar voice purrs with the slightest hint of humor. "You never were good at asking nicely."

"Keh, I should have known you'd show up," I say.

The Goddess laughs. "Genjyo Sanzo, whatever do you mean?"

I truly do hate this bitch. It was natural to me the first time I heard that condescending voice. "You've been pulling the strings all along. Nii's little resurrection wouldn't have worked without a boost from someone with power. What kind of game are you playing?"

"Anything I want. Get this straight, because I'll only tell you once. Fate has a lot to with your lives. Free will is an illusion. You four were fated to come together for centuries, but this time around things were interesting. Consider anything else that happens a reward. I'll let you have him this time, but don't go around thinking that I owe you something from here on out," she warns.

I nod. "So I'm supposed to thank you?"

"That'd be nice for a change."

"Thank you then. Now where is he?"

She raises a slender hand and the doors a the end of the room open. "Follow the door ways."

My heart stops when I see him. He's lying on a bed beneath a gosamar white canopy. His demon markings are gone, and his flesh looks pale and fragile. A frightened expression plays across his face as I walk up to him. "Hakkai, wake up," I say softly.

He moans in his sleep. "Don't let go, please. Hold me."

I touch his arm. "Hakkai, open your eyes."

He shutters. "I've done so much."

"You're dreaming. Wake up."

"So much blood. Don't let go," he whimpers.

Taking him into my arms, I know that all I can do is wait for this to pass. His skin feels warm beneath my hand. "I'm here," I whisper.

The hours pass, and I hold him as he mumbles in his sleep. Never once do I loosen my grasp on him. When the sky outside the window begins to darken, I can feel his temperature begin to drop slightly. Still, I won't leave until he wakes. Not until I know what they've done to him.

I don't regret killing Nii for what he did to Hakkai. The man always was a sick bastard. There was something fundamentally wrong with him from day one. I'm convinced that psychos like that are born not made. This one just wasn't bright enough to know who not to fuck with. Hurting him was the worst mistake Nii ever made. Now I wonder what kind of damage will be left when Hakkai wakes up.

I didn't realize that I'd drifted off until I feel him move. "Sanzo?"

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Tired. I know I've been sleeping, but it feels like I've run a marathon," he replies. "Is it finished?"

"Nii's dead."

"And the girl?" I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"He killed her before we got there."

"I should have gotten her out of there," he murmurs regretfully.

"She made a choice, and paid for it. You should know about consequences by now."

"I do." He puts his head on my shoulder. "Is it dark in here?"

I sigh. "Pitch black. Someone came in and closed the drapes a while ago. Why didn't you tell me you were going blind?"

"You wouldn't have left me," he says plainly.

"You're damn right! That was so stupid, Hakkai. Did you think I would eventually figure it out?"

"I knew you would, but I had to come alone, and you had to go after Nii."

"So you lied," I say bitterly.

"Sanzo, I had to. I wanted to see you happy. I didn't want to look in your eyes and have pity be the last thing I saw in them. Can you honestly tell me that if I would have let you know, that you have gone along with everything?"

I snort my reply.

"That's what I thought," he says.

"Did you see what you wanted to see?"

His hand finds my jaw line. "I saw you smile. Now, no matter what I will always have that."

"It means that much to you?"

"It means everything to me," he corrects.

"Did they tell you it was permanent?"

He's silent for a moment. "They didn't say it wasn't."

I swallow hard. Damn them. "Maybe in the morning."

"Will you sleep with me?" he asks, ignoring my comment. He knows better than to give in to false hope.

"Fine." I can hear him stripping off his clothing, and do the same. Rather than fumble around like a moron, I hand my clothes to him to fold. He's used to doing things without seeing. It's yet to be proven if this is going to be the way he'll spend the rest of his life. Neither of us has the courage to say it, but morning will be the real test.

When I open my eyes, light is peaking through the gaps in the curtains and spilling over us. Hakkai is still sound asleep. Whatever they gave him yesterday, took a lot out of him. I always loved to watch him sleep. In the jeep, it made me want to get up just early enough to get a look at him and then doze off again. He was the first man that ever made snoring seem attractive, and he even does that softly.

His eyes begin to flutter and I hold my breath.