Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma, or any of these characters, or any of the characters, themes, motifs, or plots from the fairy tales I have pulverized.
Chapter Nine
Ukyou sighed, crouching by the small pile of wood she hoped to turn into a fire. She missed real kitchens. She missed real food. Most of all, she missed real human company. After three weeks of wandering around in the forests, she'd decided that the company of squirrels and rabbits was nothing compared to real human company. She'd picked up a few traveling companions along the way, people who would travel a little ways down a road with her. But it wasn't enough. She wanted to be home, with her friends and both of her parents, wanted her mother to be alive and her father sane. She would settle, however, for the court of the Kunos, and the scullery maids she'd befriended. Or even the Tendo court, with it's callous princess and Ranma. . .
If only that idiot had had the decency to marry her and be done with it, she wouldn't be sitting in a clump of clovers, trying to make a bunch of damp sticks catch the sparks from her flint. She cursed softly, and struck the flint against a stone with particular vehemence. A small spark caught on one of the leaves.
"Hurrah!" she cried, and the small flame blew out. She stared at it incredulously for a moment, the scowled and threw the flint down. "I give up, I give up, I GIVE UP!" she bellowed.
A twig snapped somewhere off to her left, and she turned, drawing a small spatula out of the bandolier strapped across her chest. A young woman with wide, frightened blue eyes stared back at her, hands up in a placating gesture. She was half-hidden behind a hickory tree, her hands clutching at the bark. Her clothing was in tatters, but Ukyou could tell that once it had been very fine. She looked half-starved, dark circles under her eyes and twigs in her hair.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, sir," she said, her voice sweet and simpering. Ukyou blinked.
"I'm not a sir," she said, still somewhat surprised, then she shook herself out of it. "Who are you? What are you doing out here, so deep in the forest?"
"I'm Flora, sir. I'm the waiting maid of my most beautiful and gracious lady, the most enlightened Princess Welcome. Pleased to meet your aquiantence, Mr. . . .?" Flora asked delicately, dipping down in a curtsey. Ukyou blinked at her for a long moment before answering.
"Ah . . . . Ukyou?" she said at last. Flora curtseyed again, a graceful gesture despite her current condition.
"I only heard you cursing in a most disagreeable way, dear sir, and I thought perhaps you might have some food to spare? Or, perhaps, might know the whereabouts of Prince Valiant?" Flora asked.
"Valiant? His actual name is Valiant?"
"Oh, indeed, dear sir. The most honorable and handsome Prince Valiant, the beloved of my most wonderful Princess Welcome," Flora nodded, tears springing to her eyes.
"Why, did you lose him?" Ukyou asked, putting her spatula back.
"Not really, dear sir, you see, my most beautiful and kind lady is staying in this forest, as am I, and he has shot her, wounding her just terribly, and I am afraid that she is frightfully hungry, as well as bleeding, which is quite un-lady-like. . ."
"Hurt? Why didn't you say so? Don't you have anything to use for bandages?" Ukyou asked, quickly picking up her flint and stuffing it into her bag. Flora shook her head rapidly, but held up her hands as Ukyou stood, holding her traveling pack.
"No, no we don't, but I don't know you, dear sir, and I am afraid of your intentions. . .' Flora protested. Ukyou sighed, and began unbuttoning her shirt.
"For starters, you're out in the middle of the woods with no food, no bandages, and, as far as I can see, no weapons. My intentions, you'll just have to trust, you don't have a choice. Secondly, I'm not a man," Ukyou stated, opening her shirt to reveal her bound breasts. Flora gasped and began fanning herself with her hand. She looked from Ukyou's chest to her face with a mixture of horror and awe.
"You're a woman!" she gasped. Ukyou nodded grimly, buttoning her shirt again. "But, but you were cursing!"
"Yes."
"And you look so MASCULINE!"
"Hey!"
"Your face is just so square!"
"HEY!"
"And you hold a weapon like a man! My stars!"
"I'm warning you. . . ."
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Despite all of her misgivings, twilight found Ukyou standing in front of an old woodcutters cabin, ready to strangle the waiting-maid Flora. The cabin had obviously been deserted for many, many years, mold had grown over the logs of the walls and half of the roof was sagging down in a bowl shape. A few birds had noticed this perfect opportunity and had built a rather large nest in the depression.
"Tell me, before I decide to gut you, exactly why you're out in this forest?" Ukyou offered, absently twirling her giant spatula. Flora raised her thin, blonde eyebrows.
"Ladys do not make threats," she said, loftily. "What kind of woman are you?"
"I AM WARNING YOU, YOU OVERLY CULTURED LITTLE PUNK."
"All right, Ms. Man, all right. All will become clear when you see my most gracious lady." Flora informed her. Ukyou took a deep breath, letting the broad end of her spatula fall on the carpet of dead pine needles leading to the door of the cabin.
"Fine. Where is she?"
"Inside, of course, hiding from the light," Flora said. Ukyou sighed. That was the third time her cryptic little guide had mentioned "hiding from the light." If she wasn't afraid the other Princess would die without her help, she would have been gone long before then. Strapping her spatula onto her back, she stepped forward and through the ancient, creaking door of the cabin.
A white deer stared at her, it's deep green eyes the only spot of color it had, aside from the red blood dripping from it's hind leg. It stood on a packed dirt floor, in the middle of a small room, where the fireplace and a pile of pine boughs in the corner–for a bed– were the only decoration. Ukyou stared at the impossibly beautiful creature, not daring to move, lest she frighten it. Then, before her very eyes, the creature shimmered and became an equally beautiful woman, with skin as pale as birchwood, and moonbeam hair. She groaned, and fell, naked, to the ground, clutching at her hip.
"HOLY bleeding hell!" Ukyou gasped, falling back. Flora rushed forward, wrapping her shawl around the naked woman's shoulders, and glared at Ukyou.
"How dare you use such language in the presence of royalty!" she snapped.
"What do you mean, how dare I? How dare YOU bring me down here without telling me what she was? A freaking animagus! No wonder the Prince shot at her!" Ukyou snapped right back. The naked woman with the beautiful green eyes stared up at her in a kind of detatched horror. She completely ignored what Ukyou had said but turned to her maid, who was petting her hair soothingly.
"Darling Flora, have I sunk so low that you would permit a man to see me in my unclothed state? I swear to you, I am yet a virgin, I am not to play the whore," she said. Flora blushed and waved her arms frantically.
"No, my wonderous lady! This is Ukyou, a fellow woman, and she has coem to bind your wounds! She even said she has foodstuffs!" Flora whispered. The green-eyed woman looked at Ukyou in wonder.
"You are a woman?"
"Yes," Ukyou answered, through gritted teeth.
"But such foul language!"
"YES." Grinding teeth, now.
"And such a masculine appearance!"
"YESSSSSSSSSSSS." Practically a hiss instead of a word.
"I am sorry, kind woman, for such questions, but I am hurt and hungry, and bereft of hope," the naked woman said at last. The young cross-dresser blinked in confusion– that was it? No more questions? She favored Ukyou with a wry smile. "I would curtsey in greeting, but I have lost my clothing while the curse was upon me. Please, accept my apologies, and my most humble hospitality. I am afraid I have no refreshment to offer you, and only the one light," she said, nodding toward a lonely candle on the windowsill.
"Ah, don't worry about it," Ukyou mumbled, unaccustomed to such manners after Flora's open mockery. "Let's look at your wound, shall we?"
"Of course. You are most kind, dear woman. What is your name? I am the Princess Welcome," she smiled. Ukyou smiled back, reaching into her pack for her flask of alchohol and roll of bandages.
"Ukyou. Just plain Ukyou. Here, hold on to Flora's hand, this is going to hurt," she admonished, holding the flask over the wound. She poured the alchohol over the cut, pleased to note that it was just the wound from an arrow grazing her, and nothing more serious. She wrapped it in bandages, padding it so it would stop the bleeding. Then, she reached into her pack and pulled out a flat skillet, and some ingredients for okonomiyaki. Soon they had a fire going, and the food was cooking. Ukyou felt is was rude to ask about the curse, really it was, and she knew it, but. . . her curiosity was killing her, and finally she simply blurted out:
"Why do you turn into a white deer?"
"I had wondered when you would ask," replied the still-nude Princess. "It is a long story, and begins before my birth.
"My mother was once crying by a fountain, wishing for a child. A crawfish rose on the water and offered to take her to the palace of the fairies, her sisters, whom she assured my mother could give her a child. My mother went, and found six fairies: Rose, Tulip, Anemone, Hyacinth, Pink, and Auricula. They told my mother of my immenent birth, and that she must give me the name "Welcome." My mother agreed, and when I was born, she invited all of the fairies to my christening.
"They each gave me a gift, the sort of gift only a fairy can give. One gave me a good, even temper, which has come in handy. I also received cleverness, beauty, good fortune, good health, and a general aptitude for needlework."
"Hold on," Ukyou interrupted. "The crawfish's sister gave you an aptitude for needlework?"
"Most certainly," Welcome replied, unflustered. "And it was to come in quite handy, as well, though not as handy as the even temper. I am wonderful at embroidery. In any case, as soon as they had given me these gifts, the craw-fish came in, and was rather upset at being forgotten in all of the hullaballoo. She would not be placated, but said that if I saw the light of day before my fifteenth birthday, I would suffer greatly. Therefore, my parents put me deep underground– and there I have stayed, until jest these last few days.
"Unfortunately, my mother's vanity won out as it began to be apparent that I was going to be rather pretty. She had a portrait painted of me and sent out. Now, most of the men in this area are all in a fuss about some Akane girl – don't know what's so wonderful about her, she's got the most atrociously ordinary eyes– but my Prince Valiant wasn't, and he fell in love with my picture. It was arranged we should be married, he sent over his own portrait, and all was well, except that I was not quite fifteen. He didn't believe that my parents were really going to give me to him, as they wanted to delay until my birthday, and the silly man fell ill.
"So, his father begged my father to send me over early, and that fool –pardon me saying so– gave in. They made a carriage so tight and dark that no light could enter. However, I had a treacherous waiting maid who wanted me out of the way for some reason, perhaps she wanted my Valiant. She cut the side of the carriage, and I saw daylight. I turned into a deer and ran off. Flora, my dear, loyal Flora, followed me.
"So we have been living here, quite without food or succor, and I find that my Prince has come out here to hunt. And a fine hunter he is, too, he even managed to hit me."
"You poor, poor woman," Ukyou sighed, shaking her head. "It must have been terrible for you, living in this hut with the chatterbox," she gestured toward Flora, who sniffed indignantly. The okonomiyaki were ready, so she shoved them toward the Princess and her maid.
"Oh, well, it's much better now that you're here," The Princess said, kindly. "And I don't mind Flora's chattering, it's very cheery. Besides, I'm a beast by day, and I only properly understand my predicament at night. So," she shrugged, finding a way somehow to make it graceful. "It's not so bad."
"Wow, you're patient," Ukyou observed. "Still, I can't help but think that there's some way out. Maybe if the Prince knew. . . ."
"Come out of the hut, we've got it surrounded!" a male voice ordered. The three women looked at each other blankly before, as one, they realized it was coming from outside. Flora began to rise to her feet, but Ukyou waved her back down.
"No, no, this is my forte. I'm the fighting kind," she insisted, taking her spatula from her back and twirling it. She strode toward the door and stepped out, eyes shifting from side to side.
::Two men on the corners of the house, maybe more in back. Four men, all armed, all on horseback, right up front. None of them have crossbows. That's good.:: Ukyou thought.
"You are not the Princess, or her maid," the lead man said, his eyes narrowing. He was shockingly handsome, with graggy, imposing features and steely grey eyes. The truly striking thing about him, however, was his hair. It was the color of autumn, reds and browns and yellows shimmering down his back. Of course, with hair like that, he wore it long. Who wouldn't? Ukyou was debating on whether she should fight this guy or throw herself at his feet and hope he'd have mercy (mercy. . . that's what they call it nowadays) on her when he completely ruined the effect.
"Please," he said, his voice cracking and his face crumpling into the sob that came out of his mouth. "Please tell me where she is! I am sick for love! Love plagues me, day and night, so that I cannot eat, cannot sleep, cannot breathe knowing she is so near and yet beyond me. . ."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Ukyou said, taking a step backward, away from the verbal barrage. "If you promise to never do that again, I'll get her."
"Truly!?" he gasped, the sobbing-face gone, replaced by an expression of adoration and delight. "Would you truly do such a thing for one as miserable as I?
"Ummmm yes?" Ukyou tried, frowning. "Just give me a long tunic or a cloak or something, she's in need of, umm . . . ."
"Fine raiments?" the man suggested.
"Suuuuuuuure." Ukyou sighed. She took the tunic he threw at her and went back into the hut. She was greeted with shining eyes by Welcome, who took the tunic from her hastily, sliding it over her head.
"My Prince! My beloved has come for me at last! No more will I have to endure, or starve!" she cried, happily, running out the door. Ukyou watched as she ran toward his horse, and he swung down to catch her in his arms. The moon, full and just rising, provided barely enough light to see the lovers embrace, to reveal to each of them the true face of the other. They kissed, and the onlookers were glad of the darkness to hide their blushes.
Unfortunately, even in the dark, they could hear just fine.
"My love, it has been so long since I gazed at thine image, oh, it nearly drove me mad to think I would never see you!"
"Dearest darling of all sweethearts, you've no idea what I have gone through, starved, deprived of the sight of you, deprived of the very thought of you by my curse. . ."
"It is of no matter now, sweetling, let me carry you home so we may be wed at once! My god, your eyes, they gleam like emeralds!"
"And yours are the color of the candle's shadow! Oh, my love, if only I had more poerty to give you, I was raised in shadows and know only the colors of paintings."
"Your lips are the only poetry I shall ever need. . ."
"I'm gonna throw up," Ukyou grumbled. Flora walked up to stand with her in the doorway, a thoughtful expression on her face.
"Don't, it would be grotesque. I wonder how he knew she was here?" she mused. A barking laugh off to their right made both girls turn. The laugher was a young man with sandy hair and a round, jovial face. He swung down off his horse and moved to stand next to the girls.
"That was my doing, actually. I recognized you, Flora, from Welcome's court. I knew you'd be wherever she was," he explained. Flora squinted at him.
"And you are . . . ?" sh asked. He grinned and clutched at his chest as if wounded.
"You don't remember? I'm the man who loves you, my dear," he said, with a mischevious wink. "Becafica, valet to the Prince himself."
"Oh," Flora said, faintly.
"Don't worry, my dear, I was joking, only joking. It's just that I never forget a face," he said, with a meaningful glance at Ukyou. "And I never forget a name."
"Flora! Oh, Flora! Fetch out the ring you were clever enough to bring from the carriage, my Prince does not believe I kept it!" Welcome called. Rolling her eyes, Flora went back into the cabin. As soon as she had stepped away, Becafica leaned in close to Ukyou's ear.
"I suppose you'll be wanting a place to hide, Princess Kuonji?" he asked. Ukyou jumped back, her eyes going wide as saucers. He smirked at her, leaning back against the wall. "Don't worry, my pretty little exile, we'll find a place for you. We'll discuss it later.