Saying Goodbye to Lorelei Gilmore
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own "Gilmore Girls" or anything associated it. T I wish I did, but I don't, they belong to people with way more money than me. I'm not making any money off of this story, so please don't sue me. Thanks!

Author's Notes- My first Gilmore Girls fic! I'm not sure how good it is, but I was compelled to write it. It's from Christopher's point of view, but revolved around an L/L wedding. I like Christopher, for a time I was even rooting for him and Lorelei, but I've given up on that and fully embraced the powers of Luke and Lorelei. Still, I couldn't resist writing an angsty Christopher piece, as he reflects on what he lost. I hope you like it!

Summery- Today, he watched her marry someone else and had to finally admit that she wasn't his anymore.

Pairing- Christopher/Lorelei, Luke/Lorelei.

Spoilers- Up to "Wedding Bell Blues", though maybe a couple hints of things afterwards, but not really.

Rating- PG-13

Lorelei got married today.

She's someone else's wife. She was beautiful, but then she's always been beautiful.

From the first time I saw her, when she was just a tiny little thing with long black curls, she was always the prettiest girl in the room and that never changed.

She was also happy today. Happier than I've ever seen her.

He loves her and he makes her happy and I'm glad. I want her to be happy.

I'll admit there's a part of me that wishes that it was with me, but well that's not going to happen. That shipped sailed a long time ago, it just took me a long time to realize it.

I'm amazed Lorelei even invited me to the wedding, given the mess I made the last time we were at a wedding together. But she forgave me, though she did warn me that it was my last chance.

I knew she meant it and in that moment I understood that I had lost. Lorelei wasn't mine anymore, if she had ever been. She'd always be in my life, always be my friend, but what had been was now gone.

It's hard to let go.

I've loved Lorelei Gilmore as long as I could remember. In fact, I don't think I can name a day when I didn't love her. She was always the girl for me.

I still consider her coming up and kissing me that first time the best moment of my life. So much has happened since then. I've let her down so many times.

I was never able to be what she needed me to be. Still despite that, I guess, I just always assumed that it would work out someday, that Lorelei and I would end up together.

I always believed we were each other's destiny, but I guess I was wrong. I guess Lorelei Gilmore wasn't meant for me after all.

But maybe that's not too suprising, since I never deserved her in the first place. I was never good enough for her, anyone could tell you that.

Still for some reason, she wanted me anyway. At least for a while, until I screwed up one time too many and lost the best thing that ever happen to me.

She was, you know. I mean, I love my daughters and maybe it's wrong to say it, but Lorelei is still the best thing that ever happened to me.

I can't even imagine what my life would have been like without her. But I blew it, time and time again.

I let her down, I wasn't the man she needed me to be and finally she gave up. She went out and found someone who would be what she needed them to be. Someone who deserved her.

He's a lucky man, Luke. I hope he knows just how lucky he is. The luckiest man in the world, because he won Lorelei's heart.

Oh, I know I'll always have my place in it, that she'll always care for me. I was her first love after all, Rory's father. The headstrong, wilful teenage girl in her will always love me.

But she's not that girl anymore. Lorelei grew up and maybe I never did, I just know that she grew away from me. Somewhere along the line, she stopped being mine and that's hard.

It's hard to know that I'm not the right man for her, that I'm never going to be what she needs and that she's found it now with someone else. It's very hard.

I love her. I'll always love her, but I know that I've never been what she needed me to be.

I was never good enough for her, but for a moment that didn't seem to matter because she chose me anyway.

For all my life, I'll never forget how lucky I was. I'll never forget a single moment that I had with Lorelei.

I've adored her from the time she was a pigtailed little brat with missing teeth and I still adore her. Enough to want her to be happy and she is.

She's happy, Luke makes her happy and I guess in the long run that's all that matters. I just wish I could have been the one to make her happy, but I guess it wasn't in the cards.

I think a part of me knew that twenty years ago. I think I've always known that she wasn't meant for me, I just didn't want to admit it.

But, it's always been true, Lorelei Gilmore was meant for better things than me.

Still, I'm glad that for one brief moment in time, she loved me and only me. For a moment, she was mine, but that moment is passed and now I have to let her go.

Because she let me go a long time ago.

The End