Chapter VII- Self-Doubt

The Emperor was true to his word, and Erik was allowed to go home. Erik was very happy to have gotten out of prison, even if it only was until the defense presented their case and cross-examined all the witnesses.

The arrangement was only for two months, but at least it was some time.

The first half of the first month Erik and Meg spent almost completely out-of-doors. Erik was enjoying the sunshine for probably the first time in his life.

The missed each other. Meg had visited as often as she could, but she had almost forgotten how good it felt to be kissed by Erik, or even hugged. She had forgotten how they fit together.

Meg had also forgotten how much he soothed her. Meg had been very stressed with the trial, and she had found nothing to keep her mind off of it, or the fact that she constantly seemed to be losing her meals, or even at the very smell of food.

Erik's touch calmed her; he sang for her or played the piano for her. Music once again filled the house, and no one appreciated it more then lady of the house, who was disturbed by the eerie silence of the house while he was gone.

Thus Meg passed from the first trimester to the second, and began to show.

However, there was still a little bit of a problem- Meg was highly emotional from the baby, and would sometimes end up crying in some room, and no one could comfort her because the door was locked. Caressa, Jean-Paul, Madame Giry, and Erik had to persuade Meg to first come to the door, and then unlock it.

Of course, this was very trying on patience, and Erik was anything but patient. He blew up at Meg a few times, yelling at her to stop crying and being so hysterical. This, of course, only made things worse.

After Erik's third blow up, Meg had decided to give Jean-Paul and Caressa the night off. Meg cooked Erik's favorite that night to the best of her ability. However the stove was on steaming and Meg was quite sure she set the chicken on fire.

Erik came rushing into the kitchen. He must have followed the smoke. His jaw dropped as he surveyed what was happening- Meg was trying to wave away smoke that was billowing out of the oven. Erik pulled Meg away from the danger, and Meg collided with the wall painfully.

Erik then faced the oven, and then opened it, and coughed as another plume of smoke entered the room. He grasped the burning hot pan and pulled the charred remains of the chicken threw it into the sink, and pumped water on top of it. He felt pain- he must have burned his hands. He looked at them. First degree. He would put some butter on them, and then they'd be all right again.

He moved his attention to Meg, who was crying on the floor.

Meg felt terrible, she really did. "Erik," she said, wiping her tears away after she saw his hands. "I'm sorry."

Mama may have nursed him back to health from the wounds Erik received from the Emperor, but she would heal his hands. She got the butter and gently smoothed it over his hands. Erik's face relaxed, and she knew the butter was doing its job.

She couldn't believe she burned it. She never burned anything.

Actually, that was a lie. She burned a lot more things than naught. She had done everything- every single thing Caressa told her to do! What had gone wrong?

She bet perfect Christine never burned a meal in her life. She probably made gourmet meals regularly. Probably three times a day.

Come to think of it, since Christine married an aristocrat, they were so rich, Christine didn't need to cook, so she could be just as bad as Meg was at it, and no one would be the wiser.

Somehow this didn't comfort her. Meg wrapped Erik's hands with old, ripped (yet very clean) linen, Meg's memory rested on what the attorney said. Was she only his companion, and nothing else?

"What am I to you, Erik?" she said, softly, as she was tying the last knot on his bandages.

"You know, Meg," Erik said surprised.

"Will you just say it?" Meg said, "Just so I can be sure?"

"You're my wife. Honestly, Meg, what has gotten into you?"

"Am I just your wife?" Meg said, pressing on, and hoping for a more romantic answer.

"You're my wife, and I love you." He said, as if Meg had lost her sanity.

Disappointment set in. "Oh," she said, and sighed. She had hoped for some declaration of undying love, like he had done for Christine during the production of 'Don Juan Triumphant'. "Do you… do you love me more than Christine?"

Erik blinked, and Meg held her breath. He didn't respond, and horror struck into her heart.

My God, he really did love Christine more. She backed away from him, her world, her world where she had found her perfect match and he cherished her just as much as she cherished him, exploded into microscopic pieces.

"No, Meg," he moaned, reaching for her, like he was being tortured. She avoided his grip, her face showing so much shocked hurt. She stood up and tried to move away. "Meg, please," he begged.

She looked down at him, he was on his knees, and had grabbed a handful of her skirts.

"Get off of me!" Meg said, with no warmth in her voice. Erik didn't let go, so Meg stepped over him, her numerous skirts and petticoats hitting him in the face, and he let go of her subconsciously.

"Meg, come back!" Erik called after her. Meg had already started to pack, shoving things into a very big suitcase, and then filling the trunk once the suitcase was filled.

She carried the suitcase and dragged the trunk into the hall, where Erik was standing, looking absolutely pathetic. She threw the suitcase at him, which he caught, then went up to the stable to go saddle up César.

That was the only thing she was better than Christine. She could saddle up a horse. What a wonderful talent, she thought, bitterly. She connected the harnesses on César to the phaeton, and then led the beautiful white horse into the carriage drive.

Meg dragged the trunk out of the hall and pushed it into the storage compartment of the phaeton. She went back to get the suitcase, and one last thing…

"Meg," Erik said, rushing to her, and she grabbed the suitcase out of his hands, and threw it in to the storage compartment as well. She turned around and there was Erik, his hands on her arms, and his yellow eyes were filled with hurt.

"You're still in love with her; after all she's done to you? Then fine, go after her, I won't stop you any more!" She wriggled out of his grasp, and pushed him with all of her might. "It's always Christine, Christine, Christine!"

This time she tried to hit him, her fury packing a real punch, but he did not guard himself against her blows. "I'm not going to be second fiddle anymore! I'd rather be nothing to you than be second in you're heart anymore!"

"Meg, you're not second-," Erik began, but Meg grabbed the lapels of his jacket and made him look at her, face to face, their noses almost touching.

"Look at me and tell me you love me best," she yelled. "Tell me!" she shook him, but Erik remained silent. "I knew it," she said, moving past Erik, trying to get back in the house.

"Meg, please, just be sensible."

Meg responded by throwing her wedding ring in the dirt. "Meg!" he yelled, and Meg ran inside the house and locked the door.

Erik pounded on the door. He couldn't believe that he was thrown out of his own house by his own wife, who was pregnant with his own child.

"Meg, open the door," he said, trying to placate her. He could hear her sobs through the door, so she must have been close to the door.

The truth was that he really hadn't thought of who he loved more. When Meg sprang that ridiculous question on him, he was so surprised he didn't think about it properly. He sighed, and picked up Meg's wedding ring from the dirt, and brushed it off.

Well, time to use the secret weapons. He went to the garden and opened up the secret passage…

…where he arrived in the hall, in front of Meg, who was curled up, like how he found her when she was in front of the Opera Populaire. He kneeled in front of her, and Meg looked up at him, and he held out the ring to her.

That something special that he felt, that color spectrum he compared her to… he hadn't felt like this about Christine. Did he really love Christine more than Meg? He didn't know…

Meg looked at him, waiting for him. He made a decision.

"I love you best."

AU- YAY FOR QUICK UPDATES!

I really don't have much to say.

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