Ch 16: the last tribal council
Disclaimer: the only thing that belongs to me is my imaginary friend Fred. He is currently taking a vacation in the Carribean and won't listen toany massages.
"Who are you people? Why are you guys wearing those weird hats?" A confused brunette asked her rescuers. A big woman with aband-aid on her chin approached the former castaways "We are the people of the big and shining saucer. Welcome to planet earth, nomads of the stars!" the other saucer morons bow down to the gang. Dib shakes his head in disbelief. "Wait a minute- you guys think we're aliens!" the saucer morons don't listen and continue in their humming prayer. "That's because you are aliens, sent from another beyond to..to..." the big woman pauses "why are you here?" Zim, sporting a spare disguise of a hobo, yells "fools! We are here to destroy!DESTROY!" the big woman (let's call her Sue) gave him a quizzical look. "You look very familiar" Sue tells the Irken .Zim panics "no, you silly human! I've never seen you before in my life!" suddenly the door to the head(bathroom) opens and their leader, that weird guy with the lazy eye(let's call him Bob) spots Zim. "You -points to Zim- you have returned to us! Just like Frank said you would!" Bob walks over to the former castaways, "And I see you've brought your clan this time." clearly, there was no fooling Bob. At least on recognizing Zim. Other than that... Well.. He needs therapy. Dib was offended "we're not family! Me and Zim are enemies, you hear! Enemies!" Sue and Bob gaze in wonder. "His head's so big-"
"How many times do I have to tell everyone- my head's not big!" A big man that looks a lot like Sue (we remember his name- Starchunk!) Walked up to Dib and Zim. He grabbed them both by the heads, one in each massive hand, and carried them away to who knows where. "Hey!" Brandy pursues after Starchunk, "where are you taking them!" Sue grabs her from behind. Then Sue gets flipped by Brandy, who apparently has mastered tae kwon do. The saucer morons gasp. "She has powerful abilities beyond imagination!" Brandy brushed herself off. "No, that's what three years of intense study does to you" they resume bowing. "Wow, these guys are pathetic" she didn't bother containing her thoughts. By then Heather had had enough. "Okay you weirdos" she spoke up, "We have to get back to the mainland- fast"
"Why?" one saucer moron piped up. "Because we have to!(wow, she doesn't explain much, doesn't she?)" Bob resented. "You have to stay here with us! We are your loving servants, beings from another beyond!" Jennifer just stares at them. "You people are crazy"
Elsewhere, Dib and Zim were each given a room of there own by Bob's orders. "When we get to the mainland Dib, I will destroy you and your pathetic earth female companion." Dib shot Zim a glare. "And we will expose you for who you really are!" both enemies slam the door at the same time.
"No! Have mercy my leaders! Have mercy!" Brandy soon grew mad with rage at Bob's rantings, so she attacked him and put him into a headlock. "Not until you agree to take us to the mainland!" she demanded. Heather, Allison, and Jennifer knew well enough to stay away. Gaz gave looks of approval and admiration. "Maybe she's not so bad to hang around after all" she thought aloud to herself. "All right! All right! We'll take you to the mainland" Brandy let him go and, after giving a whoop much like Xena's, stormed off in search of Dib.
Brandy, her friends trailing behind her, had finally found Dib's room. Everyone but Zim was present at the room, even Gir. "As long as we're all still together, we're still a tribe" Brandy discussed, "So now we hold the last tribal council. Topic of discussion and debate: how to escape from the saucer morons" Heather raised her hand. "Yes?"
"We have estimated the capabilities of our jailers. None of which we have encountered so far have shown signs of formidable intelligence, and are easily persuaded, as Brandy had shown earlier" Brandy blushes modestly, "the only obstacles that we have in our way are Sue and Starchunk, both of which are strong and could swap us like flies" I use my last awkward silence card on this scene, then Dib suggests "why don't we just run when we hit the mainland?" everyone murmured in agreement to this. Allison stood up. "All in favor of jumping ship upon arrival to the mainland?"
"Aye"
"Aye"
"Aye"
"Aye"
"Aye"
"Aye"
everyone waits for Gir's answer , but he fell asleep. "It's unanimous then. We'll jump ship soonest chance we get."
"The tribe... has spoken"
"LAND HO!" a lookout shouts from above. Everyone gives everyone else a mischievous smile. "NOW!" ( insert Thin Lizzy's song 'jailbreak' here) The former castaways burst through the hall, knocking over various saucer morons along the way. Zim went to see what the ruckus was, and joined in once he saw what it was. The gang made it to the deck, mowing down anyone who got into their way. Sue tried to stop them, but six teenagers, an Irken, and his robot slave were too much for her. "Gahhhh!" she cried in agony as they literally walked all over her.
Starchunk tried to stop them as well, but they scattered, running this way and that like a complicitly planned ballet. Starchunk got so confused that he tripped over the rail, making a splash. When he went down, they gathered again, and bolted towards land. But only Bob was there to stop them. "You can't leave here, you're supposed to fill us with wisdom from another beyond!" the eight ragged-tagged tribe only stared at him. Dib spoke up: "well, that would be your plan. But our plan..." As the gang rushed and knocked over him, they all roared "...IS TO GET HOME!"
Miles out of the grasp of the saucer morons, everyone decides to take the bus home. One bus was headed to Heather, Jennifer, Allison, And Brandy's hometown. The other bus was headed to Zim, Gir Gaz, and Dib's hometown. It was five minutes before both buses left, and Dib and Brandy were saying their goodbyes. "I hope to see you later when I move" the brunette tells Dib. "Yeah, maybe I could show you around sometime after you get there." Brandy hands Dib a slip of paper. "Don't loose this" she told him. They gave one last hug before parting ways, (insert the 'love hurts' song here)both getting on separate buses. Brandy had joined her friends on the bus to the left, Dib joined his sister and arch nemesis on the bus to the left. Gir gave a sympathetic squeak. "Are ya gonna miss Crazy-lady, Big-head?" the defective robot asked the paranormal investigator. Dib sighs sadly "yes, Gir. I will miss her..." he looks out the window to Brandy. She blows him a kiss, and he catches it. Then she points to him to open the paper. Dib does, and finds her phone number and address written on it. "Yes!" he jumps in his seat. He gives one last look to Brandy, then as both buses part, they wave goodbye, for they knew they won't be seeing each other in person for a long time.
Fin
(A/N: yes, to the sadness of whoever reads this(cough Call Me Blue Streak cough) this was the last chapter. I think I'll quit writing for now, at least until I come up with a good idea for another story. It's been both fun and excruciating, but sadly, and gladly, it is finally over. The reason I continued after ch 10 was that I don't like leaving things I write unfinished...that and C.M.B.S.'s good reviews. I've been writing stories ever since I could pick up a pen and write with it, and in my experience I've learned this: A hard part of writing is beginning a story, because you don't know where to start, but an even harder part is finishing a story, because you have to let the characters go.)