Chapter V: Love Songs

"You look different today."

Kenshin sat next to me, on the floor, while I took my usual position on the couch. It's been a few days since my strange outburst and though we don't quite understand what it means or who 'Enishi' is, it still gives us some kind of hope that I might regain something back. We've been ignoring the subject for awhile, and I do believe it's because Kenshin does not want to lose hope that I might somehow be connected to that girl in the hospital. Everyday he has been shuttling back and forth between the hospital and here that I feel rather sorry for the poor boy. Though I must admit that I was initially rather envious of his obvious deep-seeded affection for the girl, it has now faded to a kind of quiet admiration for the amount of care he showers on her.

"Do you know what love is?"

I stared at him as he gazed back unflinching at my questioning look.

"Shouldn't you know? You're the one who writes all the love songs, sad as they are sometimes."

He grinned at my answer. I suppose he was expecting something like that. Afterall, I never quite liked questions like that, too open for discussions that I was not interested in participating in.

"I suppose I should, but I don't, so won't you tell me?"

"Enishi, you're exasperating you know."

I glared mockingly at his mischievious grin.

"I know, but you still love me right?"

Rolling my eyes as I fell into his arms, I sighed and turned from his triumphant grin.

"So, want to know what I think love is, Koishii?"

"Yes, you annoying brute, you just keep playing with me, right?"

He twirled my hair with his fingers, knowing that I loved it when he did it, and it helped to soothe my agitated nerves.

"But it's so fun!" He protested, whining all the while, hugging me close as he did so. "I think that love... love is a reason, a reason and logic. It is the logic behind the happiness I feel with you, the logic as to why my smiles only belong to you and why all the starts seem to shine in my love's eyes. It is the reason why I can write all my love songs, the reason why I'll ever say goodbye to you, or the reason why even if I do, I'll always return for you, always."

A hand waved in front of my face as I snapped out of my reverie.

"Hey!"

I looked down at the face that peered with concern at my own. Smiling apologetically, I cocked my head to one side with a questioning look.

"Are you alright? You've been spacing out quite a great deal lately."

Kenshin was right. But it wasn't as if I could help myself, these memories these flashbacks, they just kept coming.

"Do you know what love is?"

"Excuse me?"

Kenshin's face contorted into a confused expression while I stared emotionlessly outside at the flora and fauna that was the garden. It seemed that I was tied more closely to this 'Enishi' than I previously thought I was. There was a kind of secret, a word at the tip of my tongue, yet I knew not was it was.

"Do you know what love is?... He asked me that, he answered that..."

"'He'?" Kenshin stared pointedly at me as a kind of comprehension dawned on him. "You're talking about Enishi right? This has got something to do with Enishi, right?"

I shook my head, not quite knowing whether it meant he was right or wrong. For all I knew, it could be a memory so distant that it was meaningless. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I could not let go of it. Enishi...

"I think so. I think I need to find him, somehow."

I stretched my right hand and tugged at Kenshin's polo shirt. I knew that I could not do it myself... I needed...

"Kenshin, will you help me? Will you help me find Enishi? It's very important. I need to find him, he's the key, he's the one thing keeping me here, I just know it, I know it, you must help me, you must..."

I could not stop blabbering. I was getting closer and close to something, I just knew it.

"Is something amiss? You're not acting normal... and your hair..."

"Kenshin, I've never been normal, you know that."

I held onto him in my vice-like grip refusing to let him bring the topic away from Enishi despite how important it was to him. Pulling away from me, Kenshin's fingers found their way into the tangles of his red hair. I could tell that he was debating through my plea. Kenshin takes his word seriously and a 'yes' always meant just that, a 'yes'. To Kenshin, 'ifs', 'buts' and 'maybes' didn't exist, there was a 'yes', and then there was a 'no'. Nothing is done halfway, which made my waiting all the more agonizing because I knew once he declined, there would be absolutely no way he would reconsider.

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

I stared up at him. This was most definitely not the answer I was hoping for. Still...

"I can't leave the house."

Dumbstruck, Kenshin cluelessly looked on as I walked out of the door he came on from, straight through to the front door and returned through the other door located at the corner of the room in less than five seconds, something completely impossible unless I ran really fast from one end of the massive house to the other.

"Do you understand now?" I explained all the while trying to keep myself from breaking down. "I've been trying to leave the house, but I always end up right where I began: back here. I can't go out, I'm stuck. Forever stuck, and... and..."

I could not help myself. Slumping onto the floor, I starting sobbing all the while continuing my meaningless rambling in a manner which I'm sure is the cause for Kenshin's helpless stare.

"Please, please Kenshin. I've never begged anyone before, and I'm begging you now, find him. Find Enishi. Please."

A weight settled itself next to me. Kenshin.

"I've got a lead." Four simple words, but they're the ones I've been waiting to hear. I knew that

"Here."

I stared dumbly at the CD Kenshin thrusted in my face. It looked simple enough, in dark colours with the words in gold and a simple angel dorning the cover. I smiled at the words.

"Eudaimonia." I read aloud, smiling once the meaning of the words seeped in. "It's his CD isn't it?"

I didn't have to look up to see Kenshin's nod, the words and the CD in my hands were more than proof of Enishi's work. Reverently, I held the plastic case close to me as tears leaked out from my closed eyes. Though I knew Kenshin was feeling uncomfortable from this constant shifting beside me, I could not help the irrational behaviour I was exhibiting at the moment because now, more than ever, I felt so close to Enishi.

"Will you write a song for me?"

I lay my head on his shoulder as he absently stroked my hair causing me to sigh contentedly. He always treats me like a porcelain doll, something too precious to treat with anything less than great delicacy and care.

"I don't need to."

"Why?"

"Because all the songs I have, they're all for you."

Turning my eyes up to my red haired friend, gratitude shining in my eyes, I whispered a soft yet heart-felt 'thanks'.

"You..."

Though this wasn't the first time that Kenshin has stared at me since we've met, it never ceased to make me uncomfortable being at the receiving end of it.

"What's wrong, Kenshin?"

"Your eyes... they're... they're black!"

I concentrated my focus agonizingly somewhere else as Kenshin continued to gape unabashedly at my orbs. It's not as if I could refute his claims, never having seen my own reflection (which I can remember) before. Moreover, ever since that day I begged Kenshin to find Enishi, he has been mentioning that my features seemed to have had some alterations though we never quite took much notice of it before. Now...

"So I was right," feeling a weight next to the sofa, I finally realised Kenshin's new position next to me. "You have been changing. First I thought your change in hairstyles was my imagination, next I dismissed the different shaped eyes and now, now there's no denying! Your eyes that used to be blue are now black! What's going on??"

Gawking haplessly at Kenshin, I clutched the CD closer to me as though it could answer all the questions and lead me to the truth. Still, nothing.

"I don't know, I really don't know, Kenshin."

"What do you think is the reason for our being?"

I looked at his perfectly formed lips, awaiting the answer that would be ambiguous yet something so entirely him too.

"Nobody knows, but I think..." he paused, pulling me deeper into his embrace as he contemplated my question. "I think there comes a time when everything in our lives just connect.. They make perfect sense and you have that wonderful feeling of just being. And that, that is what we're living towards."

Drinking his words in like wine, I wondered.

"And are you there yet?" I could not help asking.

"No, but I'm pretty darn close."

Months later, I opened the dictionary.

Eudaimonia: A point in a person's life when everything clicks.

Tsuzuku

A/N: Really short, I know, I know, but that's to prolong the suspense and cos I thought the ending is good enough where it already is. What do you think? The plot thickens? Hell yeah. But that's the idea too.

To: MaryDFair, Masutsa, mz.amber eyes, Jen, blindstitched.heart, crazy-bout-fanfics, BelleDayNight, bluejeans, Tsuki-san: I know that you're confused, but the plot is just thickening, so please bear with me while it all unravels. I just got to college now, so please forgive me if I can't update as frequently as I wish to. Everything's just so new and foreign especially since I'm still suffering from jetlag. 18 hours of flight isn't easy you know! But I'm trying, and thanks for your undying support, it really makes my day.

To: donna8157, cincygurl22, rain angst: Thanks for the support, it's not easy writing this and I thank you for your encouragement. Please bear with me and hang on 'til the end, cos I think the ending's going to be fun, well, at least for me to write. Hehe, see you at the end!

Haruko