Promises of Yesteryear

"If I could do this life all over again, I'd undo all my mistakes." He said it with such certainty that it made me wonder what kind of sins he must have committed, what burdens weigh so heavily on his shoulders that time can't seem to shrug off?

"Am I your mistake?" I whispered, afraid yet anxious of his answer.

He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek in a strange yet comforting form of benison as I leaned into his touch like a puppy craving more warmth, more affection, more love.

"No, you're the only thing I've ever done right, Tomoe."

"Tomoe..." I unknowingly breathed the name reverently, enjoying the warm rush that courses through my blood as the word spilled out.

"Tomoe?" Kenshin repeated confused at my sudden loss in focus, not that he hasn't already gotten used to it, considering how I have been losing my concentration these days in increasing frequency.

"Yes, Tomoe."

"Who is she?" His perplexed look was almost cute if it were not for the fact that I finally understood what it all meant.

"I am, Kenshin. I am Tomoe."

"It all becomes completely quiet...from the enwrapped sky and the sun that scorches the body, you are vanishing.

What do you wandering, searching for? As for me, all alone..."

"Alone is only a word." I murmured, listening to the last strains of his soothing voice fading to nothing. Seeing him sitting there, strumming his guitar as his face held such a sorrowful visage, I wanted to –

"Alone only means something if you're not here with me." He spoke up, pulling me close to him.

"How can you say that if I'm always in you? With you?"

Burying his face in my hair as he breathed in deeply, drinking my scent the way a dying man thirsts for a drop of nectar, I allowed him to hold me tighter even to the point I felt I would break, because I was already broken, and in his hands lay the rest of the pieces of me.

"Tomoe."

Kenshin looked at me wonderingly as he shook his head from the disbelief that clouded his eyes. There's something wrong behind the questions that lie on the tip of his tongue, but he kept silent.

"Kenshin, I think I can remember now."

I was certain, this was it. Something in me has awakened to the fact that time has moved forward, pushing me to the cracks between the slabs. But I was renewed, I was whole again and it was time for me to find...

What are you wandering, searching for?

Enishi. I'm looking for Enishi.

"What can you remember?" He looked anxious; he always did, when it came to me, because it could have something to do with her.

"I know this would disappoint you, but I don't know anything about her, I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Everything I remember has to do with my life before, my name, Enishi, his music... I think I'm back to look for him."

Looking as though he was struck by me, anxiety, frustration, hurt, anger, bitterness and a great deal of resentment flashed across his eyes, coloring the purple to a deep honey.

"Tomoe, I'm glad you remember, but can you please, please think a little deeper. It's very important to me; I need to know whether you can think of anything that can help me help her."

He was pleading already. And though I wished I could help with all my heart, my brains could not think up anything that would be of aid to him. All that coursed through my mind was the fact that I don't want to be alone, alone and without Enishi...

"I... I can't, Kenshin. I can't. I don't know anything about Kaoru, I can't..."

Kenshin's eyes flashed as his hand whipped out to latch onto my wrist, grabbing it in a vice like grip gentle yet unyielding, the very persona of strength.

"You called her name. I never told you her name."

Shocked, I took two steps back, right into the wall as my mind spun web after web of images. Her smile, his embrace, her tears, his gentle soothing, her pain, his warmth, her fears, his forgiveness... Round and round the pictures twisted, forming a dance of their own, breaking the barriers of reality and dream in one action. I could neither stop nor encourage them on as the images simply assaulted my entire perspective of truth and now. Time held no meaning as she came out of the mist of my memories, pulling me into a different existence than I thought possible.

"Tomoe, I'm Kaoru, why are you here?"

"Kaoru?"

I could sense Kenshin's shocked gaze, but there was nothing I could say. I was stuck in the depths of my mind already, held prisoner of my own making.

"Tomoe... why won't he let me go? Why?"

She stared at me with the bottomless pit of sapphires that belonged only to her. Those were the eyes that I had before? Those were the orbs that Kenshin fell in love with? I could see every thought, every emotion reflected in those windows of her soul.

"K-kaoru?"

I choked. She was me, I was her.

And still, Kenshin would not release his hold as he clamped harder, preventing me from sliding further down the wall as my legs threatened to give way.

"Tomoe! Tomoe!"

Kenshin shouted at me, but I could hardly hear him as the sad voice reverberated once more through my mind, echoing at the deeds I did not remember doing, the memories I did not remember creating.

"Kenshin and I were supposed to go to the spring dance together... He was my friend, and friends don't break promises."

"Friends don't break promises?"

I repeated dumbly, not quite understanding what else to say in response to her strange misplaced statement.

"Kenshin was sitting by my bed, I know. I could feel it. I wanted to go back, I really did, but I can't."

She sounded so upset, frustrated and bereft of hope at the same time.

"Why, Kaoru? Why can't you return to him?"

"Because he won't let me. He said that as long as I was going back, you can't return."

He? The conversation took a queer turn for the worst and my mind spun with a greater frequency that I thought possible. By this time, Kenshin had me sat on the floor as I leaned wearily on his shoulder, unable to do anything else but converse with a supposedly comatose yet lost Kaoru in the depths of my consciousness.

"Why can't I return if you go back?"

I could feel, rather than hear, Kaoru sigh. It was like my entire mind shook with the expanse of her sorrow as it seeped into my soul, staining it with her pain. She wanted to leave, I know, but yet I could feel a corner of her that was chained to this aimless drifting not of her own accord.

"Why do I have to return?"

Once more, Kaoru's silence struck me deep in my heart as I struggled to understand the hidden words she could not speak. Kaoru was as much a prisoner of someone else's making as I was a captive in the strange house on 31 Brighton Lane.

"I can't say, Tomoe, he won't let me say, and he would know if I said anything...but you must help me Tomoe, you and Kenshin must help me return...I... I want to return to Kenshin's side!"

She was sobbing, I knew, I could no longer see her fathomless blue eyes, only seeing a huge immensity of emptiness and darkness as Kaoru lost her composure and broke down. Kaoru, the bright spark in Kenshin's eyes, the glow of happiness on his face, the hidden charm in Kenshin's smile, Kaoru, was crying and I could not help her at all.

"Tomoe! Tomoe! What is going on? You know something, tell me! Tell me!"

Kenshin shook me hard, jogging me out of the stupor I found myself unwittingly in early on. His eyes searched mine as though my empty expression would yield some clue as I simply stared back at him all the while hearing Kaoru's plaintive cries for help in my mind. Pulling me close to him, Kenshin placed both hands on my shoulders, jostling me, hoping to awaken me from my semi-comatose state.

"Help me Tomoe, you must help me! I want to find Kenshin again! I want to see him again!"

"Tomoe, please... Only you hold the key to Kaoru's revival. Please Tomoe,... please."

Kenshin whispered the last words as he slumped to the floor with me in a semi-embrace. Holding my limp body to him, Kenshin kept repeating words of hopelessness mixed with begging as he implored me to reveal the secrets that I myself could not even guess. Who was Kaoru's captor? Why was she being held incarcerated against her will? What did he want with her? What could I do?

"How can I help you Kaoru, how?"

Her sobbing slowed as my consciousness heaved and shook along with her seemingly increasing state of tranquility. I could feel something in her reach out to touch me as a sense of urgency yet a state of peace entered my already confused mind.

"Tell him, Tomoe, tell him to let me go, talk to him...the promise..."

Promise? What promise have I delivered? Of all the things that I remembered, my life, my reason for being, my meaning for existence, what was left that I had forgotten to remember? What have I unwittingly left behind?

But before she could reply, a memory assaulted my sense, leaving me reeling from the aftereffects of the depth of emotions it erupted in me.

"It's the reason... It is the reason why I can write all my love songs... the reason why I'll ever say goodbye to you... or the reason why even if I do...I'll always return to you... always..."

"Always? You promise?"

I held his gaze in mine as our fingers entwined, lost in the love and warmth we surrounded ourselves in. In this bubble, no one else can touch us, no drugs, no rabid music fans, no poking reporters could delve into the safe haven we found in each other.

"I'll promise, if you do."

He replied smoothly, unafraid of showing his affection, unlike all the other men out there. Enishi believed in loving the way he formulated his philosophy on living. Live like you'll never die, love like your heart would never break. And though he waited and anticipated, he never lost hope or love.

"I do."

"Kenshin, we must help Kaoru."

"How?" He didn't question me, believing the words I was about to utter because he knew that I was the last connection, the last trace of Kaoru that he could ever find, and if he did not follow this final lead, Kaoru would be gone forever.

"Help me Tomoe, save me from him..."

"Who is he?"

"Enishi...Save me from Enishi."

Tsuzuku

A/N: Does this start to explain things a little? Well, seems that Kaoru's always Enishi's captive eh? Well, this time, there isn't a jinchuu, but Kenshin still has to rescue her, so... Anyway, I hope that this time you weren't waiting too long. Inspiration hit me, and my roommate kept pushing me to write this, I just love her, so I did. Hope that you're not disappointed! Alright, it's 1 in the morning and I'm real tired, so no individual thanks, I'm getting lazy here... But to:

Kagaomikins, Jen, nargiegirl21, cincygurl22, rain angst, Wistful Eyes, MZ. Amber Eyes, BelleDayNight, MaryDFair, T for teapot, mystal, Matsusa.

Thank you with your patience in this little baby pats story affectionately. I know that this is confusing, but how many supernatural stories can be understood in one chapter ne? (other than those one shots!) So thanks for all your encouragement and support, it keeps me going (other than my roomie) and gives me the strength to carry La Ballata on. Hope that the ideas that you have going on coincides with mine.. or not, but at least I hope this explains things. Do you feel that light bulb going on?? Review and tell me!

Haruko