Musings and Heartbreak

Chapter Two: And the Crack Deepens

I made I to the top of the stairs. Taking a deep breath, I edged toward the first room on the right, the Muggle room.

James had filled it with Lily's "Muggle necessities" as she called them. It had things like the tellyfan and the computerer and most importantly, the TV. The TV was the best thing the Muggles had ever invented, or so I thought. I loved watching the dramas and action packed adventures and the comedies especially. It took my mind off of Voldemort-watching the Muggles and their carefree lives.

What I wouldn't give to be Muggle like the ones on TV. Lily said their lives weren't an accurate portrayal of the real Muggles' lives. But I didn't care. Being a Muggle sounded absolutely grand, especially now. Sure, I wouldn't be able to fly my motorcycle or play Quidditch or a million other things, but at least I'd still have James…

I looked in the room. Nothing. I let out the breath I didn't even know I had been holding. Relief flooded through me like waterfall over a cliff. They had escaped through the Floo to Hogwarts. James didn't die for nothing.

I walked into once amazing fun and laughter-filled room. There was almost nothing left. Pretty much everything had been destroyed during whatever battle that had taken place between James and Voldemort. It must have been some battle to destroy the entire house like that.

I picked up Lily's musical box and wound it up. The box had been given to her by her sister when they were little. Petunia Evans had loved her younger sister. Petunia Dursley however was a completely different story. The music box with its cute little music a tiny unicorn-Lily's favorite animal-was all that Lily had left to remind her of the love that had once existed between her sister and herself. I placed it in my pocket to give to her when I saw her later.

Walking out of the room and across the hall, I thought that I might as well go through what was left of the entire house and see what other irreplaceable items that I could find. Things that couldn't be replaced because their symbolism for Lily and James' loved ones and memories that could not and should not ever be taken away from Lily or Harry-Harry especially. With that goal in mind, I stepped into Harry's nursery.

There were burn marks over all the walls that still stood. The normally tidy room was a wreck, clothes from Harry's drawers were everywhere and Harry's cradle that he rarely used lay on the floor in pieces. And in the corner near the closet lay Lily.

Unbidden my tears rose again and I turned my head. They were supposed to be safe.

"Peter! How could you!" I screamed as my voice broke. Tears began to run down my face uncontrollably as I moved toward Lily. I saw her blank lifeless eyes-eyes that should be filled with laughter, love, and occasionally anger as James and I take Harry on yet another broom ride. Now they were filled with terror and shock. And her mouth that should be smiling with joy and laughing in amusement at James and my antics was still formed in the shape of an 'O.' Poor Lily, poor James, their lives had just begun.

"Wah!"

I gasped as I looked toward the closet to find…Harry! He was in a blanket and looked extremely uncomfortable. He had a jagged scar on his forehead that was bleeding. "Poor Harry," I whispered as I took out my wand. "Scourgify." The blood on Harry's head cleared instantly. He had a scar in the shape of a lighting bolt on his head. I comforted Harry, as I wondered what could have possibly caused the scar.

I sat down with my back on the wall and Harry in my arms. He was calming down and looking like he was going to sleep. How lucky, I thought, to be a baby and be able to put all your troubles behind you. I looked around the room and I saw a curious robe on the ground. It was black with the crest of Slytherin on it. I recognized it as Voldemort's. But where was he? Where was the bastard who killed Lily and James and left Harry an orphan? Where did he go?

Then I noticed a pile of nasty-looking grey dust. I glanced at Harry who had been looking at me with those huge innocent emerald eyes of his…Lily's eyes…And above those expressive eyes was his newfound scar…

Could it be? Maybe Harry, a mere baby, finally defeated the Dark Lord, that evil git, Voldemort! For the first time since finding out that Peter betrayed us all, I smiled. The most evilest and vile of the Dark Lords in the history of the world had been defeated-by a one-year-old baby. The world was saved. But at what cost?

And I sat like that for what seemed like hours. My few straggling tears turned to sobs. James and Lily…Lily and James…gone…forever…

I heard howling through my sobs. Who the hell was it? It had better not be some rubbernecking Muggle…I dried my eyes and went downstairs. It was Hagrid.

"I reckon yeh heard," he said softly with steady tears rolling down his humongous cheeks. He was a good man with a big heart. He didn't deserve to be just a gamekeeper. He deserved so much more.

"Yeah."

He sniffed. "I see yeh've got Harry. Could I have him? Dumbledore sent me to get the little tyke."

I stiffened. Take Harry away from me? He was all I had now. I'd driven Remus away from me…and James and Lily…and Peter betrayed us all…

My face turned ugly as I grew angrier and my hatred for Peter and what he had done grew. We were his friends. What had we done to deserve Peter's treachery? Nothing!

"Sirius. Sirius. SIRIUS!" I snapped back into reality.

"Could I please have Harry now?"

"No, James and Lily made me his godfather. I'll take him."

"Dumbledore said tha' he was ter stay with Lily's sister," said Hagrid firmly. God, that man was loyal to a tee. He would go till the ends of the earth for Dumbledore-for anyone that he loved actually, but for Dumbledore especially.

"But I am his godfather. And Lily said that he was not to go to his sister's house under any circumstances," I insisted.

Hagrid looked at me kindly. "Sirius, I'm sorry, but Dumbledore said tha' he's got ter go to teh Dursleys. Now, yeh should get sum rest and talk with Dumbledore in about a week. Hopefully things will have calmed down sumwhat. Harry'll be fine for just a week with yeh."

I sighed. Hagrid was right. Harry'd be safe at the Dursleys for a week and then I could come and collect him. Besides this gave me time for what I needed to do. I shoved Harry over to Hagrid before I could change my mind.

"Take him. He doesn't need to be coming with me anyway for what I'm gonna be doing."

Hagrid looked at me with a question on his face. But then he shook his head no, as if he was thinking don't even bother with it.

"Alrigh' Sirius. Yeh did the righ' thing. Have a rest-yeh look like hell," said Hargrid. He began to walk away towards the road.

"Hagrid wait," I said. "Take my bike. I don't need it anymore."

"Yeh sure?" asked Hagrid. Everyone knew how I loved my motorcycle. It was my pride and joy.

"Yeah," I replied. "It'll be quicker. Safer too."

"Alrigh'," agreed Hagrid. "I'll take it back ter Howarts with me and yeh can pick 'er up there."

Sadly, I watched as Hagrid and Harry flew away on my bike. I stared and stared until I could star no more. Just as I was turning around I heard a loud CRACK!

In an instant my wand was in my hands and I was shooting off Stunning Spells wildly in every direction.

"Sirius, its me," I heard a voice say quietly. I recognized the voice. It was Remus Lupin, my only best friend that I had left. Although, if he still saw me as a best friend, I don't know. I would certainly deserve to be shunned by him.

I had betrayed him time and time again. I still remembered the time in our Hogwarts days when he refused to speak to me-acknowledge my presence even-after the incident with Snape and the Whomping Willow. I swore the moment he had begun to say anything to me that I would never ever betray him again. He went through so much hardship with his lycanthropy and all and he didn't need me making things worse.

And now I had. I had thought the worst of him and without a shred of definite proof. What's worse, is that I treated him shabbily because of it. I ignored him and taunted him. I should've known that he wouldn't rile up. He was an honorable man, Moony was-and still is.

I turned around and grabbed Remus by his shoulders. He was surprised, I could tell. To an average person, Remus was as impassive with his emotions as Dumebledore. But I knew better.

"I'm so sorry Remus. Iwas wrong and I'm so so sorry. Now James and Lily are…d-d-dead and Harry doesn't have parents. And it's all my fault"

"Sirius stop. What're you sorry for? You didn't to anything. At least I don't think you did," he said narrowing his eyes.

"Remus, " I cried desperately, "There was a switch…and Peter," I growled. I had to go get him.

"I'll be back Remus. Just go talk with Dumbledore. I have to go kill a rat."

He was confused. I know he was. Who wouldn't be? But I had to go get him. I just couldn't stand it any longer. Voldemort may be gone, but Peter-that disgusting piece of vermin that I can't believe I ever called my friend wasn't dead yet. And if I knew Peter like I know I did, he's probably already heard of the demise of Voldemort and trying to find a place to hideout until everything dies out.

Well, not this time. This time, I'm going to make sure that Peter Robert Pettigrew would pay. Nobody betrays the Marauders without paying the price. Snape and all the other Slytherins learned it in Hogwarts. And it was time for Peter to pay the price. I apparated away to my house.

please review! review! review! review! I'm desperate for reviews!

wishing you lots of laughter, love, and Harry Potter,

wannabewitch610