There was nothing more, I realized, that Jessica hated than bashes in her own house. She was even begging, just to have it in any other place than here. And the begging hardly ever stopped. Aubrey started staying away whenever she wasn't asleep to get away from it.
So then, when he wasn't here, she would lock herself in her study and write, or read, or sometimes she even slept in there. So I found myself in there more and more. No matter where I was in the room, behind her desk reading a manuscript she had given me or at one of the three tables in the room. My eyes were drawn to that empty void one the other side of the room. The tables were even drawn away from it.
"Jessica?" She looks up from her laptop screen though my eyes don't move from, the empty floor. She follows my eyes and looks at the spot. She looks from me to it a few times and then chuckles lowly.
"Is it really bothering that much?" I nod slowly, my fingers still wedged between the pages and on the pen in my hand. She was having me correct a newer story, I liked it enough to agree. She looks at the empty area again and shrugs leaning back in her chair stretching slowly. "You can do something with it… if you can think of anything." I'd only though of a million things to put there. All ranging from a puppet theater to a dining room table, anything to take up the space.
"Really?" She looks at me again. She smirks.
"How long has this been bothering you?" I snort slightly.
"Since I first walked in here!" She laughs and nods.
"It's all your's. Whatever you wanna do with it. As long as it doesn't interfere with what I do over here."
The next morning around nine, I left the house while Jessica and Aubrey were still out. I knew of a small art store on the other side of town. There was a woman that worked there, she was a nice old lady, I had known her slightly while I was alive, though only once had I ever talked to her. The shop was a good one for what I was looking for. I had snagged Aubrey's car and wallet so I was good, I doubted he would mind much.
I walk into the store about an hour after it had opened. The woman gave me a smile as I walked in. I bow my head slightly to her and then proceed to look for what I had come for. Toward the back of the store was what I was after. There were easels of all sizes lined up against the wall. The only problem was I didn't know what I was looking for.
"Can I help you," I nearly jumped out of my skin at the old woman's words, right behind me. She could pass for a vampire any day. I smile at her and nod.
"I… have no idea what I'm looking for." She nods and looks at me then the wall. She points to a dark wood easel on the upper part of the wall and then walks down the isle and gets several things. Paint, a few markers, watercolors and a ticket for canvases. I smile as she hands me the bag she had collected all the things in. "I take it you get a lot of hopeless cases." She nods slowly and motions for me to pick up the easel. I do and follow her to the counter.
"Not usually this early though," I nearly laughed at her thought out words. She looks at me and it felt like she was looking through me. "But you're different," She grabs my hands, "You have an artists hands," She rubs her thumb over my fleshly palm and smiles. She then releases me and smiles. "At least that's what my mother would have said… if she was still alive." I nod.
"My mother would call me a fool if she could see me right now," I mumble. I had been forcing myself not to think about Dominique, but she used to be such a part of my life, it was hard. The old woman was looking at me carefully. I hand her Aubrey's credit card and smile slightly. She nods and takes it. After she had handed it back to me with a receipt she smiles and slips a sketchbook in the bag and a thick pencil. I look at her a little confused.
"And usually when I get hopeless cases this early in the morning, I don't see so many troubles in their eyes." I smile at her as real as I could and bow my head slightly. I take the bags, easels, and five canvases to the Jeep and get in the driver's seat.
It was a long way home and I wanted to drive every mile.
That day, I painted my first easel. A dark painting with a vampire Dominique, licking her bloodied Vida knife while her tongue burned. Just looking at it made me repulsed. I covered it with a drape and went to bed. I slept until three.
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"What the hell! Cera! Get up you lazy bag!" I hit her hip weakly and drop my arm back on the bed.
"I'm not a lazy bag." Jessica scoffs.
"And that's what you're still asleep. I see… I'm gonna go out. You wanna come?" I look up at her in the dim light and cringe at it.
"Where?" She smiles.
"I've been needing to take you to Las Noches." She grabs my arm and drags me out of bed, literally. I land on my rump and look up at her. "Get dressed in something sleazy and get down stares on the double." And just like that she's gone.
"Something sleazy?" I stand up roughly and walk over to the wardrobe. I flip through the pants and throw out a knee length skirt that fit me like glue. Then a red tube top with detached sleeves and a dog collar from my dresser and pouf downstairs. Jessica looks at me and smirk. "Sleazy enough?" She nods.
"Perfect. Now get your boots and let's go." I pull on my combat boots and trench coat and we walk out of the house.
"Why are we walking." She smiles and drapes her arm around my neck.
"Because I need to go over a few things. One, if snookums is in here, treat him like poop, remember we're still mad at him about the bash." I nod. I really didn't care about the bash but I wasn't going to ruin Jessica's fantasy. "Two, If Risika, girl with tiger stripes, is in here, we like her, because snookums hates her."
"Will you stop calling him snookums?" She shakes her head.
"And three, if I tell you to get out or kick some ass, do it. Things can go down in here pretty quick." I nod and we enter the heart of New Mayhem. She leads me to the small club in the center of town and we walk in. The lights made me want to fall over or throw up bad. I fight down both urges and Jessica smiles at me, "Not many people can do that." She leads me over to where the bar was and walks up behind 'snookums'. I almost laughed as she hugged him then hits him over the head. "I'm still mad at you." Aubrey throws up his hands and I walk over to them. I sit down on his other side and he looks at me.
"Having fun yet?" I smirk.
I reach over the bar and grab a random bottle. I look back at him after I take a drink. "Super." He laughs a little and Jessica shakes her head.
"Well if it isn't the merry band of fools." I look to Jessica's other side and smirk. There was the girl with the orange and tiger striped black hair. It was pined behind her head, but you could see them easy form any direction. She hugs Aubrey and then blows the smoke from her cigarette in his face. "How you doing, fluffy?" She doesn't wait for him to answer before she looks at me. "And what do we have here?" I look at Jessica and she smiles. I look at the other girl.
"Cera Black." She shakes my hand and takes the cigarette out of her mouth.
"Risika. You got balls kid." She takes another drag and lets it hang off her lips. I look at it and then reach up and take it from her before taking a drag and offering it back to her.
"That's what the tell me." Aubrey smiles and Jessica fights off a snort. Risika looks at her.
"What?" Jessica shakes her head and looks at me.
"You are learning way to fast." I nod with a smile and take another drink from the bottle. I tip it toward her and down the rest, and mind you there was quite a bit left in the bottle. Risika take the bottle from me and throws it over her shoulder before taking the cigarette back. She smirks as it shatters.
"I think I could like you." I smirk.
"Anyone could, be very few do." I smile wider and look around the room. Risika sits down on my other side and grabs two bottles out from under the bar much like I had. She hands one to me. I take a drink. "Vodka," I say happily and gulp nearly half down. Aubrey tilts the bottle back down.
"Slow down killer." I shake my head.
"This stuff is the shit."
"Have you been raiding my cabinet again." I look at him and smile. Aubrey looks at Jessica. "Three seconds?" She shrugs.
"What?"
"Please take her hunting or something. She's gonna be on the down for an hour at this rate." I down half of what was left in the bottle and look at Risika.
"You going out?" She looks at me and smirks. Jessica and Aubrey look at me.
"Are you crazy," Jessica says through her teeth. I smile at her. I nod. Risika was now confused.
"What's the big deal? It's just a kill or two." Aubrey looks at me with a confused look.
"Have to start sometime, right?" They exchange looks.
"No, not really," Jessica says. I shake my head as Risika stands up. I follow her lead and we both walk out of the bar.
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Later that night I stumble into the house and into Jessica's study. She was standing in front of the painting that I had done today. "You're changing to fast." I nod.
"I know." She looks at me and shakes her head.
"You can't keep doing this. At the rate you're going, you'll destroy all of what you were when you were alive." I shake my head.
"Here, I'll always be Cera Black. Just like to my mother, I'll always be a traitor." She shrugs her shoulders toward the painting.
"So is that what this is? You making your mother what she sees you as?" I look at the painting. Tilt my head.
"No," I look at her and smirk, "This what my mother is." I fling the sheet back over the painting and walk to the door.
"Did you?" I stop and look back at her.
"What?" She was still looking at the covered painting.
"Kill?" I look at the ground. And then back at her.
"Almost." I turn and walk back out of the room. I was making every Vida ancestor do back flips in their graves.
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The next day I lay in bed. No where near asleep. Just lying there, watching the sun move under the drapes. By the time I gave up with lying there, it was nearly five in the evening.
I walk down the hall and into Jessica's study. I walk over to one of the empty canvases and pick it up. I take the one of Dominique of the easel and put to clean one up. I put Dominique's picture between two bookshelves so it would stand up. I then walk over to the clean one and sit down in front of it.
It wasn't long before I had a painting in my mind. I paint the whole back a dark burgundy that lightened and fades toward the opposite corners and then walked down to the kitchen while that was drying. I drink down a glass of OJ and look out the newly opened window. It was a depressing day.
Since I had gotten up, it had started to rain. You could hear it pounding on the roof. The soothing sound did nothing to calm my nerves. I don't know why I was so wired. Maybe it was the amount of blood in my system… or maybe it was the lack of the remorse of the life that I nearly killed. But either way, I was quite hyper.
After about twenty minutes I walk back up to the study and sit down in front of the painting while two of the wet spots slowly dried. So far it was just how I imagined it. So I slowly started. And just as slowly, two bodies were born on the canvas. The pale bodies were standing back to back, but you could only see their sides, from the waist up. On the right profile I sculpt a white shirt clinging to his muscular form, detail the short black hair on his head, closed eyes and mold his hands into his pockets. On the opposite profile I sculpt a loose black shirt. Between their two bodies, the second's longer black hair falls, some traveling over the other's shoulders. I detail his wide-open black eyes that were looking up as if they were looking for answers. His hands were crossed over his chest in a defiant way.
After I was finished with the painting I moved the stool I had sat on to work and sat away from it at one of the tables, actually on the table. My elbows propped on my knees and my hair falling around my face. I look at the painting. Though I guess I hadn't wanted it too, this painting looked so much like the picture Nikolas had used to torment me so long ago… no that was only a few weeks ago. It felt like so much longer.
This one was more detailed though. The image spoke a whole story I had seen through Kristopher's eyes. The way Nikolas never lost sight of what they were. And how he had tried so hard to ignore, close his eyes to the pain his bloodlust caused. I knew that feeling now. The way Nikolas' hair fell over his brother's shoulders was just like the way he was inside his head, even though the feeling went the other way too. It could also be seen as his brother's protection.
After looking over the picture for so long, I look at the window. There was no light under the drapes. I look at the door and where Jessica was standing. "How long have you been there?" She smirks.
"Long enough to see the way art affects it's creator," She says and leans off the wall, not uncrossing her arms. "Can I see it?" I shrug and look back at the picture. She walks over slowly and turns standing next to me. I could almost hear the voluntary breathing she always did stop.
"Well," was all she said and sat down in the chair next to my knee.
"It's my vampire part." She looks away from the painting as I speak. "I helps me… with this stuff. I can't even make a clay figure on my own! I can make a mutilated dog though!" She laughs a little and looks back at it. She stands up after another minute and walks over to it. She pulls the stool back and looks at it closer.
"It's good… No, I mean, really good. There's so much detail." I nod and look at the floor. She turns on the stool to look at me. "You miss them don't you?" I nod slightly. She smirks and walks back over to me sitting next to me on the table. She looks at the painting and smirks. "You know you can always go see them." I nod and look at it too. Christopher, and Nikolas for that matter, were such a part of my life for a time there and now I would be ashamed to look them in the face.
"I know… just not yet, not now." She nods and we just sit there for a while longer.
Later we both left New Mayhem and went to hunt. That night, I came close to killing again, but this time there was no momentary shock of knowing that this person was going to die. I don't know why, it just never came. When we got back I moved the picture, after covering it, and placed it on the floor in front of one of the bookcases. That part of my life was for later.
Then I went to sleep. I slept all day and then until eleven.