Disclaimer: See First Chapter.
Author's Note:Hi! Okay, I just wanted toget the dark stuff out of the way. You'll see the mood begin to lighten in this one... maybe not much, but hints ofit.
I hope you like.
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Last Time...
The being materialized, a lovingly concerned expression on her face, "Oh baby," she whispered, stepping out of the circle into corporeal form and holding her arms wide open.
I walked into them without hesitation.
"Mommy."
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I let myself slump in her arms, let my head fall onto her shoulder, let my tears fall, let my sobs come.
She rocked me back and forth, murmuring something I couldn't make out, something soothing.
I breathed in her scent and as my sobs subsided, I tried my hardest to draw strength from her.
I needed to.
We stood like that for a long time; just swaying gently from side to side. I kept my eyes closed, shut off my thoughts, tried shutting out everything that had happened in the last seven years.
Reality has a way of intruding though, and slowly I pulled myself together. This was it.
This was my moment.
And I'd only allowed myself one.
I took one last deep breath and pulled away.
She looked up at me; and there was love in her brown eyes, the unconditional love of a mother.
"Oh Chris," she said, reaching up and wiping away my tears, holding my face with her hands, "I'm so very sorry darling. So sorry you've had to live this… but you aren't alone my darling boy. You never have been."
"It feels like it, Mommy."
The words came out a whimper and childish term slid off my lips far too easily. I wasn't under control at all.
At the moment I don't think I ever will be. The pain seems too great.
She smoothed my hair with her fingertips, brushing my eyebrows with her thumbs, "I'm sorry darling, I'm so sorry." She said again, her own tears spilling.
"I just needed a hug," I told her, looking down at the ground. I wasn't even sure how it had worked, I'd tried to summon her in my time and it hadn't. This had been a long shot… but I'd needed her…
More than ever before.
Maybe that's why it had worked.
"And I was determined to give it to you," She said firmly.
Yes, that's why it had worked. Because my mom had known that I'd needed her… truly needed her.
"Thank you." I whispered, knowing that she couldn't be here for long. That the sisters would be back soon.
"I've never been much for rules anyway," She whispered, her hands sliding over to my hair. "You need a hair cut," she told me.
I tried to smile a little, but there was a tightness in my chest that didn't allow it, I knew what I had to do.
"I have to send…"
She nodded, without letting me finish.
She knew too.
"When are they due back?" she asked.
"About an hour."
Her smile reminded me of lazy Sunday afternoon's baking chocolate-chip cookies, "That gives us some time, doesn't it."
I knew better.
So did she.
We both knew better than to tempt fate. "I only asked for a moment," I told her simply, "…I've gotten my moment."
She sighed, but did not argue. Her hands slid to my shoulders now. "So big…" she murmured.
She hadn't seen me since I was fourteen… or felt me rather… I'm sure she's seen me, even though I have seen her.
"But I want so much more," I told her quietly. I needed more than just one moment...
"You deserve so much more," she told me, just as quietly.
Than after a moment, she said gently, "We have some time."
I nodded slowly, "Yeah, we have some time."
I knew better.
She knew better.
We headed for the door.
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"Are you sure this is all you want me to make you?" Mom asked me ten minutes later. She already the batter ready and was pouring it into a pan. The ingredients for the icing were set out on the table.
I nodded, "I never got to eat the last one."
She paused a moment in her pouring, looking up at me, "You should've eaten it Chris. I made it for you."
I nodded, pushing away the pain of that day so long ago… after all, why worry about long-ago pain when you have current pain right around the corner, "I know," I told her, "I just… couldn't."
She nodded, and went back to the pouring.
We have forty minutes left... forty minutes and counting.
We didn't say much as we worked together on the icing – chocolate mint. I didn't want to talk about Wyatt and there weren't many topics that wouldn't lead back to him.
So we just worked… and the rhythm of our synchronism soothed me – gave me strength. I'd always loved to cook with her. Wyatt too.
The three of us could cook a meal fit for a king. It was one of the things we'd always done together on the weekends.
It comforted me… this feeling of knowing exactly which way she was going to turn to put the pan in the sink, of knowing exactly what order she would pour the spices in, of being able to hand them to her in that order…
Her smile was understanding, it told be she knew too; but it was sad also.
Sad because... of course... she knew.
We were tempting fate.
We knew better.
After everything was ready we moved to the living room. She sat down, I sat next to her.
Neither one of us said anything.
Than I felt her hands grasping my arm and looked over to see her pulling me down. I let her.
It felt good to lie there in her lap. I turned my face to the side and closed my eyes, relishing the feel of her hands stroking my hair and my face.
It was very easy this time, to drift back to those childhood days; to pretend that I was a little kid, to pretend that everything was going to be okay because… because Mommy was here.
The smell of the cake wafted over to us and I smiled a little, keeping my eyes closed. It was so easy…
And such a lie.
I wasn't a little kid, everything wasn't going to be okay, and Mommy was going to leave.
I felt the tears that slipped from my closed eye lids and did nothing to stop them. They weren't noisy tears like before, these tears were of release.
I didn't move, even when I felt a teardrop hit the side of my face.
She was crying too.
The slamming of the door, caught us both by surprise.
I shot up, she jumped a little; we stared at each other in horror as familiar voices filled the air.
"At least it didn't explode on us…"
"Yeah- hey what's that smell?"
"Dunno, but I want some…"
We were still just sitting there, neither one of us had moved; we had yet to look towards the foyer.
We should have known better.
We did know better.
"Chris?"
I jumped up from the sofa; my heart was pounding and it was hard to breath. Dear God, what have I done…
We shouldn't have tempted fate.
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