Amme: The torment continues!
Lynnia: I CAN FLY!!!!!!!! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! NOW I CAN FOLLOW KISH EVERYWHERE!
Lynnia glomps Kish's arm.
Kish goes back into the corner: I don't believe this... ((Starts crying hysterically as usual!))
Ichigo: What else is new?
Lynnia: ((being the idiot that she is))this story!!! Duh!!! Hags never understand anything!!! They're so old their brains can't comprehend anymore!!! Isn't that right my KK?!?!?!?
Kish:((still crying hysterically))Stop talking to me!! You're so annoying!! Leave me here in my precious corner...only Ichigo is invited!!! Everyone else can go screw a tree!!!
Lynnia: Awwwww!!! KK...you should know me better than that!!!! I always show up in places where I'm not invited and I barely ever show up in places where I am!!!! Besides, why would I want to go screw a tree...they're so hard and splinteryish...Don't ask me how I know or I'll chase after you with a chainsaw!!
Ichigo: This is getting too whacked!!! As I've said before...You're evil Amme!!
Amme: Dur!! You've said that enough!! We get the point!!! It's amazing, Lynnia actually isn't preppy for one whole sentence.
An awkward silence
Amme laughs for lack of anything else to do while Ichigo smashes her head in with an over-sized mallet.
Amme: Ok, who's got my computer!? I never laugh for lack of anything else to do. I always hit people for lack of anything else to do, I laugh because I'm bored. There's a difference. Duh!!!
Lynnia: KK!!!!!!!!
Lynnia is still glomping his arm.
Kish: WHAT!? I DIDN'T!! I SWEAR I DIDN'T! LYNNIA HAS IT! AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!
Lynnia takes out the computer and starts typing on it.
Lynnia: Yes, I DO have it! And there's nothing you can do to stop me! Now I have complete control! MWAHAHAHHAHA...
Ichigo slaps Kish.
Ichigo: I didn't do that! What's going on!?
Lynnia: Alright! This rocks! ((Starts repeating the words I have complete control, I have complete control in singsongish voice...while dancing around in a circle))
Lynnia types something else in and Kish gets angry.
Kish: Go away Ichigo. I don't want you anymore. I want Lynnia. She's cuter and she's actually not obsessed over some stupid freaky tree hugging hippie!!!
Ichigo: What!?
Kish: You heard me! Or maybe you should get your hearing checked because you're an old hag!!!
Ichigo starts crying hysterically and takes the place of Kish in the corner.
Lynnia types another thing in and Amme is tied to a chair on the ceiling with a half-eaten banana next to her.
Lynnia: Ok, what's with the banana? I didn't put that there!
Kish: It's still ingenious my darling. You're so clever and witty my sugar lump!
Lynnia blushes.
Lynnia: I know.
Ichigo ((crying even more hysterically)): Sugar Lump is my name!!
Kish: It's too late for jealously!!! You could have been with me before but now I've fallen in love with Lynnia!!! And there's nothing you can do about it. Ha!
Amme: ((still tied to a chair on the ceiling...but now eating the half-eaten banana...somehow))Lynnia, you know so little about my computer. Everything is random. It'll only be a matter of time before you can't take it and everything will be back to normal.
As Amme is blathering on...she doesn't notice that no one can understand her because she's got a banana in her mouth!
Now Kish is battling the Mew Mews except Ichigo who is now making out with Pai while Ryou and Keiichiro play roulette in L.A. with their long-lost friends that are from the planet X. Also, Lynnia is now beating on Masaya with a tree, she uprooted from the ground with her bare hands and a little help from the ointment called "Fake Muscles...Just add hair"...and how she got so unbelievably strong and so unbelievably fast...the world will never know.
Ichigo: 0o This is way too random.
Amme with the rest of the banana in her mouth: I told you...
Lynnia holds her head
Lynnia: GAH!!! TOO MUCH RANDOMNESS! CAN'T HOLD IT ALL IN!
Now Lynnia is in the middle of the room floating on a boat made out of tissue paper that is supposed to sail across the Pacific Ocean with 500 people on it in an hour as Amme falls to the ground like a pillow on a bed.
Everyone is back to normal now.
Ichigo: What was that?
Kish: Uh, Ichigo, I didn't mean that. I don't want to be with Lynnia... the little hyper-queen-brat.
Ichigo: I know you didn't, but I didn't know you didn't. What? I'm going to stop talking now.
Amme types something in her computer and everyone forgets that this ever happened.
Amme: The torment continues!
Kish: I think I'm having Deja vu. This all seems a little familiar.
Amme hits Kish for lack of interest.
Lynnia: I LOVE YOU KISH!!!
Lynnia glomps Kish's arm again for the first time in this fic while Ichigo chokes Lynnia.
Amme: Aw... It's nice to see them all getting along. Anyways, as you people might already know, this fic was deleted earlier. So all of the reviews I had were lost. But I saved some so I'll answered those! We got reviews!
Dark Mew Angel—I know, it's so sad that Masaya didn't die.
Kish: THAT WAS YOUR FAULT!
Lynnia: Kish, you're so cute when you yell like that and your face turns red like that and the veins on your forehead pop out like that.
Amme: But it even says on the summary that Ichigo is going to kill Masaya.
Ichigo: OO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quicksilver Foxx—We all love baked potatoes better than French fries.
Masaya: I don't!
Amme and Lynnia: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The ghost is back!! Where's the bazooka?
Kish waves the bazooka in the air while jumping up and down.
Kish: I have it!
Amme takes it and blows up Masaya.
Lynnia: Yay!
Pariadox—I guess I have to save Kish from Lynnia and Ichigo from Ryou.
Ichigo and Kish: Thank you people! Yayness!
Lynnia cries uncontrollably again.
Amme: I'm not too happy about it either Lynnia.
Kish Da Besst—Don't we ALL love the Ichigo/Kish pairing?
Ichigo and Lynnia: I don't! :P
Kish and Amme: Whatever.
Hm—I can counter Bobo the brain eating monkey with my Bobo killing banana! Ha!
Ichigo and Kish step back away from Amme as quickly as they could.
Probably No One You Know—Kish will never be unloved! Too many people write Ichigo/Kish's that he is FULL of love!
Ichigo: He's also full of crap too but no one says anything about that!!!
Lynnia: I LOVE MY KISH! NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM! I'LL HURT ALL THE OTHER FICS THAT HAVE KISH PAIRED WITH ANYONE IN IT!
Amme: She doesn't mean it! She doesn't mean it! Shut up Lynnia!
Amme whacks Lynnia upside the head with a really big bread stick.
Hi Persons!—I think that this fic "ROCKS" too. And are we upsating? I don't know what that is! Do you mean updating? Ksih and Ichigo? No, that isn't the pairings. It's KISH/Ichigo.
Ichigo: You're evil.
Amme: I know.
Lynnia: KISH IS MINE!
Kish: Get her off of me!!! Please!!!!
Nee—I know I'm evil thank you very much. A lot of people seem to think this is hilarious.
Kish: Not me. I have a mutant hanging on my every word (not to mention hanging on me literally), an evil author that insists on making me suffer by not putting me with Ichigo who is so cute and hates me.
Lynnia starts crying again.
Lynnia: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I'M NOT A MUTANT! YOU'RE MEAN!
Lynnia kicks Kish in the shin and stomps out of the room.
Kish: OWIE!!!!!!! For a little girl with a big mouth you sure can kick!!!!
Amme: Whatever. Let's start this fic already, I want Ichigo to see what Masaya has been doing since he went to England.
CHAPTER TWO: Cheater Cheater, Kill Masaya!
Kish: Hey, that doesn't rhyme!
Amme: So? What do you care? Masaya dies in this chapter!
Lynnia and Kish: YAYNESS!
OK, HERE'S THE REAL CHAPTER TWO: Cheater Cheater, Kill Masaya!
"What did you say your name was again?" Masaya asked.
"Uh..." Kish was about to make up a name when he was interrupted.
"Hi Masaya!" a strange girl wearing an "I LUV Animals" shirt yelled.
"Hi Aziki!"
The strange girl hops over to Masaya and squeaks in delight.
Looking at her in disgust Kish thinks," She must be a mutant bunny sent from the planet Gayish to turn us into happy life-loving freaks!"
"So who's your friend?" she squeals.
"Oh this is...."
"I'm K..Kaichiro...me and Masaya met at an ((barely choking the words out)) en-viro-mental-ist convention in Tokyo.
"Really?!?!" ((Jumping up and down clapping her hands together like an idiot)) squeals Aziki. "Masaya and I met at an environmentalist convention too... "
Aziki then starts giggling uncontrollably
Kish was already thinking of the best way to make Masaya pay. He liked the idea of slowly sliding a knife though the length of his body until he's almost dead, and then gluing his face to the gravel road. Then stomping on him till his guts pop out and shooting at him with a bazooka until....
((A/N: I'm gonna stop before this gets ugly))
"Oh, this is my new girlfriend Aziki." Masaya told Kish.
Kish was going to blow Masaya and his slutty-looking girlfriend into oblivion when the Mew Mews showed up.
"I told you we should have taken a left at the White House!" Mew Zakuro snapped.
"It was Mew Pudding's fault! She needed to use the restroom!" Mew Mint complained.
"Oh, is THAT why we have the National Security on us? Purin broke into the White House to use the bathroom?" Mew Ichigo yelled.
"Well I really needed to go!" Mew Pudding whined.
"We told you not to drink that whole bottle of Mountain Dew before we left the Grand Canyon" Mew Lettuce scolded.-
Kish ignored them right that second and attacked Masaya and his slut-of-a-girl friend with a hot dog that had a cream filling and tasted like bananas.
"Ah!!!" Aziki screamed. Mew Pudding looked down to see the hot dog flying at them.
"HOT DOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!"
She zoomed in front of the hot dog and opened her mouth as large as she could. The hot dog disappeared into her mouth.
The Mew Mews just stared at Mew Pudding.
"I think I saw a sock I lost last week..." Mew Lettuce said.
Mew Pudding closed her mouth.
"MMMMMMMMMMMM!!! BANANA-FLAVORED CREAM-FILLED HOT DOGS! MY FAVORITE!"
Ichigo saw Masaya kissing Aziki.
"Are you alright?" He asked Aziki.
"I'm fine." She answered.
"Masaya...." Ichigo said. She flew down to him.
"Oh, uh, hi Ichigo! What are you doing in England? I thought you were supposed to stay in Tokyo!" Masaya said back nervously.
Ichigo flew into a rage. She started yelling at him with very colorful language. Some of the words she used even Pai and Zakuro didn't know! (Speaking of Pai, he and Taruto have a very small part in this chapter . )
Kish was trying not to burst out laughing.
"Hey Ichigo..." He said.
"NOT NOW KISH!" ICHIGO—I mean, Ichigo snapped.
"Ok, I was just going to tell you that there was an Anima behind you." Kish answered. Ichigo turned around to see an Anima smiling at her. It knocked her away from Masaya and Aziki.
"Ichigo!" Masaya screamed. He changed into Blue Knight and charged the Anima, just to be kicked in the stomach.
"I don't need your help Masaya." Ichigo said.
"You're going to get hurt." BK said. (I'm too lazy to type it all, and if you're too STUPID to figure out what it means then just tell me that in the review and I'll give you something in the next chapter.)
"How would you know You haven't been near me in the last four months, you've been with the little slut-queen over there!"
"I don't care. I'm supposed to protect you at all costs."
"For your information, I don't need protecting. While you were back-stabbing me, the Mew Mews and I learned new attacks. If you MUST protect me, then go run into a wall, don't do my job for me."
While Ichigo and BK were arguing, Aziki kept asking stupid questions like: "How does Masaya know her? Why is she flying? What's that thing? Why does Masaya have big ears? Why do all those other people have REALLY big ears?"
Mew Zakuro whips Aziki for saying she has big ears, killing Aziki because she's a wimp.
Ichigo sprang at the Anima.
"Ribbon..." She started. "Leader's Lock!"
An energy thingy that looked like a big lock was thrown at the Anima.
"Ribbon..." The other four said.
"Depression Heart!" Mew Zakuro shouted as a big black heart was thrown at the Anima.
"Funny Bone!" Mew Pudding shouted too as a big laughing bone was thrown at the Anima.
"Sarcastic Boom!" Mew Mint called as a big voice full of sarcastic sayings was hurled at the Anima.
"Shy Tune!" Mew Lettuce cried as a small melody put the Anima to sleep.
BK was getting envious that they could do everything without him there. So he thought he would step in and finish it off. But that was Ichigo's job.
"Ready girls?" She asked. Everyone nodded. "Ribbon, Mew Mew Personality!"
A big image of the Mew Mews crashed into the Anima just as BK was striking it, making him catch the blow too. The Anima disappeared and Masaya died. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Ichigo stared at the spot where Masaya lay.
"Good riddance." She mumbled. Then she walked off.
The other Mew Mews are now stomping on Masaya and shooting at him with bazookas, while Kish is stealing a Tank and running over Masaya while laughing maniacally while the whole rest of the world celebrates his death and declares that day that Masaya died was Mew Ichigo Rocks Day. Then all the gay people that actually LIKED Masaya (the girls at the school and his dog...notice his parents didn't really care that their son was laying on the floor as a bloody pulp) jumped off a cliff...no wait. SEVERAL cliffs while singing The Cliffhanger song and then screaming for 5 min. while they are falling to a very gruesome death filled with sharp bones and a lot of nuclear bombs!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END!
Ichigo: You DID make me kill Masaya!
Kish pecks Ichigo on the cheek and then runs away from her because she miraculously found a chainsaw and was giving chase to him while sharpening the chainsaw with her foot. While Lynnia is beating Ichigo on the head with a bat that she got from the baseball park in Arlington three-thousand years ago from outer space.
Lynnia: We told you we would. Serves you right too.
Ichigo: Whatever.
Kish: Now you get to be with me.
Ichigo tried to find the bazooka while the "Twilight Zone" theme song plays. When she found it, she aimed it at Kish who she had tied to a chair seconds before finding the bazooka.
Amme: ((whistles and pats legs)) Come here, boy!
The bazooka that Ichigo is holding jumps out of her hands and bounces over to Amme.
Ichigo: OO
Amme: Hey, complete control REALLY means complete control. Like, I can do this!
Amme types something in the computer and Ichigo is hanging upside down over a jar (the size of a water bottle) of water with three full grown White Sharks in it.
Ichigo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kish: Ichigo! I'll save you!
Kish rushes to Ichigo. But before he could do anything, Amme types something into the computer that makes multiple Lynnias and they circle around him. They're all saying "I LOVE YOU KK!!"
Kish covers his long ears.
Kish: I'm doomed!! AHHHHHH!!!!
The real Lynnia: You say you're doomed too much.
Kish: Because I am. I'm DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMeded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amme: Review, or I'll drop Ichigo into the water bottle with three full grown white sharks in it and do some seriously disturbing stuff to KK and Lynnia.
All the Lynnias: YAYNESS!
Kish: Save me....((as he's melting in a pile of goooooop!))
Ichigo as she's hanging upside down on nothing: I'd say that too, but all the blood is rushing to my head!
Amme: Ignore them, they don't know what they want!!!!
Lynnia as she's chewing her foot off: I like Nerds! They taste good.
Amme: I like to chew their bones off first and then—
Lynnia: Are we talking about the same Nerds?
Amme: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm....I think so...
Lynnia: Oh ok!!!!! ((Bungee jumps into the pile of Goooooooooooooooooop that used to be Kish....))
END