Amme: I RULE THE WORLD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Kish: Oh no, a hyper authoress. We're all DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMeded!!!!!!!!!
Ichigo: You've said that so much it's lost all meaning.
Lynnia: LEAVE KK ALONE! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU!?!?!?
Ichigo: He is a perv.
Lynnia chokes Ichigo with her bare feet while Amme hits Kish REALLY hard for lack of interest with a tissue and Kish got a concussion so bad, he got knocked out so hard that the bubble floating around in Lynnia's head popped REALLY loud so that the snot came out of her ear and that grossed Ichigo out so much she turned into the Blue Cat and started scratching Kish and then punching him and running away and then repeating this process. Lynnia then pulls out a huge ball of yarn and lots of catnip (crack for cats) in front of the cat in a huge doggy bowl. The Blue Cat looks away in disgust and hops off on a pogo stick.
Amme: You can't do anything right Lynnia!!!
Amme then pulls out a dead body from her pocket that is the size of a finger nail and throws it at Lynnia because she can.
Amme: I'm bored now...
Lynnia: Let's wreak havoc!
Amme: Alright! ((raises fists in triumph))
Kish: GIVE ME THAT COMPUTER!
Amme types something in the computer and the chapter starts.
Kish: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the computer...it's calling to me to save it!
Amme: Chill out! That little line right there was kidding! We need to answer reviews first!
Runaway Kid-- YAYUPNESSER! We get a poptart factory! Thanks! You reviewed like a bajillion times!
Kish: Is bajillion a word?
Ichigo: No. The authoress is just hyper because she gets a poptart factory.
Neko Yoshimi—I don't wanna! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
Lynnia: YEAH! YOU CAN'T MAKE HER!
Kish: You said if they reviewed you'd let me go and let Ichigo down.
Lynnia: Darn you and your computer Amme!
Amme: Fine. I'll save them.
i love this fic!—Nice try Lynnia! I can tell your reviews when I see them!
Lynnia: What? Oh, ok fine. Yeah, I DID do that! What are you going to do about it!?
Amme: Nothing. Because I know that is going to annoy you to death.
Lynnia: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! MUST BE PUNISHED! YOU NEVER PUNISH ME! NO FAIR!
Erica—Good review I loved it.
Ichigo: Leave the reviewers alone!
Kish: Yeah.
Amme: Whatever.
Sweet Fur Inu—Yeah. Sooner or later we will make a naughty chapter just for Purin and Taruto. But not now. Maybe the next chapter.
TMM—HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE NAME IS FUNNY!
demon m-chan—I liked that paragraph too. Randomness Galore.
yugioh-fan88—Oh, Masaya, how we hate thee. Let me count thine ways:
Stupid
Ugly
Smart
En-viro-MENTAL-ist
And Blue Knight
Lynnia: Wait, how can he be stupid and smart at the same time?!?!?
Amme: Because he can ok?!?!? Basically: He sucks like heck!
Jlego—EVERYONE knows that Ichigo is not the best character.
Lynnia, Kish, Amme, and Ichigo: KISH IS!!!!!!!
Lynnia: So you DO like Kish!?!?!?
Amme: Yeah Ichigo, 'fess up.
Ichigo: I... uh...
Ichigo tapes her mouth shut so tight that she couldn't breathe when she sniffed.
Kish: Now I have to give her mouth-to-mouth!
Kish and Ichigo are making out with the tape still on Ichigo's mouth while Lynnia and Amme play cards and Lynnia owes Pai 1,500,000 yen because he found out a really big secret of hers and now he's blackmailing her for it.
Kute-Anime-Girl—I know it's hilarious! YAYUPNESSER!
Amme: NOW we start the chapter.
Disclaimer—WE DON'T OWN SK8TER BOI OR TMM!
CHAPTER THREE: Paper Boy's Route to Her Heart.
After Ichigo killed Masaya, she started dating other people. But they all "mysteriously" died. The pizza boy she dated was found in the oven of his work place, the lawyer was put to death by the electric chair for reasons unknown...well known but no one wants to tell you, and the high school student—well, he died of a drug...a very bad and illegal drug that no one's heard of...yeah.
((Kish: I KILLED THEM ALL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!))
Ichigo was currently dating a paper boy. His name was Jake. But she called him Jack for some reason. (hey, she also thought that a sock was called a hanzubon so GO SCREW YOURSELF! ((Amme runs off crying hysterically)))
Well the paper boy... he delivered papers...and it is such a jacked up job!!! I mean you get up at 4 or 5 in the morning and ride a bike around throwing on!!! Well anyways he was the stupid paper boy and they actually made a song about that...well I made a song about that (to the tune of Sk8er Boi)... And it's only the first verse and a chorus, just for your entertainment. (the stuff in parinthises are just little notes...but you have to read them!)
Jakie/Jackie Boi
He was a boy, she was a girl.
((Jake and Ichigo are seen holding hands by Zakuro))
Can I make this any more obvious?
((Zakuro tells Kish about the new guy while Kish is giving Zakuro big bucks in a dark alley.))
She saved the world, he rode a route
((Jake crashes his bike into a pole for no particular reason.))
Made the Mew Mews just wanna puke!
((All the Mew Mews, Kish and other aliens, Ryou and Keiichiro all throw up onto each other.))
She called him Jack, he wouldn't tell,
((Ichigo keeps calling Jake Jack while Minto died laughing (her funeral will be twelve days before tomorrow)))
That his name was Jake, oh well!
((Kish watches Ichigo and paper-dork from the bushes as they share a cookie))
All of her friends, stuck up their feet.
((Everyone takes off their shoes and throws them at Jake/Jack.))
Had a problem with his baggy seat! (HAHAHAHAHA, You read seat!)
((Zakuro, Purin, Rettasu and Minto are talking about how baggy looking Jake's butt was while Keiichiro and Ryou laughed so hard they had to go to the hospital.))
His name was Jake, (oh boy) She said "It was love" (well joy)
((The Mew Mews tell Kish that Ichigo said that she loved the paper boy and then Kish hits the wall of the spaceship so hard the wall caves in and all the Mew Mews, Ryou and Keiichiro, and all the aliens were sucked outside and would have suffocated but the All-Powerful-Authoress types something on her computer and they all reappear on the Earth right in front of the paper-geek and Ichigo))
Why was the route-boy up to speed?
((Ichigo tells about how Jack knew everything everywhere while Rettasu hits herself on the head out of boredom))
Why couldn't she just have Kish?
((Kish is plotting the best way to kill this kid))
He'd come by without a wish
((Kish is always watching Ichigo so if she ever needed him, he'll "convieniently" be close by, HAHAHAHAHA!))
Cat-girl needs to come back down to Earth!
((Kish pops the love bubble that Ichigo and Jake are floating on with a bazooka/needle thingy))
One day she'll say he wasn't enough
((Kish hypnotizes all the people in her neighborhood to say that Jake isn't good enough for her and they walk around real zombie like))
But for now there's tons of fluff
((Ichigo and Jake are kissing under the moonlight while Kish is making up schemes to kill Jake in the most painful ways))
One horrid day, I'm sad to say
((Kish is laughing maniacally while I join him for a few margaritas to celebrate))
Jake got run over by a truck
((Kish was conveniently seen renting a truck the day before the "accident"))
The neighbors all say he has bad luck
((The neighbors are rejoicing over Jake's death because he never knew how to throw the papers right))
He was a nice boy after all
((Kish plays a tape of Jake cursing out an old lady at the supermarket. Strangely, the voice sounded just like Kish's voice))
It was too bad he had to fall
((Kish throws Jake's body in some random direction))
In that ditch where he was found
((Everyone thought he had lost his way on a paper route...the boy was quite dense))
Making no movement, nor any sound.
((Ichigo cries over Jack for a minute then forgets about him altogether.))
They weren't anything but friends,
((Kish tells Ichigo to move on and Ichigo moves on away from Kish.))
This is where their story ends
((Kish closes a book slowly for emphasis in the story while laughing maniacally))
His name was Jake, (oh boy) She said "It was love" (well joy)
((Everyone moves away from Ichigo who is looking starry-eyed at Jack/Jake))
Why was the route-boy up to speed?
((The paper-marauder-dude-person smashes his head into a car))
Why couldn't she just have Kish?
((Kish's always watching Ichigo))
He'd come by without a wish
((Ichigo wishes out loud that she had someone to talk to and then Kish is next to her.))
Cat-girl needs to come back down to Earth!
((Ichigo turns into a cat in front of Jake and now he knows about her super powers.))
There ya' go. Now let's get into the details of his, tragic, tragic death. (coughannoyinglittledensebratcough)
Zakuro went to this dark alley to talk to Kish. She was being bribed to spy on her friend. She didn't have a problem with it. She didn't care about anything but severely killing things and modeling. Minto she could tolerate.
Anyways, she got to the middle of the alley and waited.
"You're late, Fujiwara."
Zakuro looked up. Kish was floating there.
"I'm not the one who's late, Kish. I came on time. You need to fix your watches. They're broke." She told him.
"I think you mean, they're broken." Kish corrected.
"So are you." Zakuro shot back to him.
"Cute. Now what do you know?" Kish prodded.
"I know something.... I just can't remember what it is..." Zakuro rubbed her fingers together. Kish rolled his eyes and threw her some money. A LOT of "Some Money". Zakuro smiled.
"She's going out with a paper boy named Jake, but she calls him Jack. Don't know nothing else." She answered.
"That's all I need. And work on that grammar." Kish told.
"Zakuro! What are you doing out here with Kish in a dark alley?"
It was Minto again.
"Big sis Zakuro, aren't you scared of dark alleys?" Came Purin's voice. They ran up to them now.
"We're fine." Kish answered them. "We aren't doing anything, we're just talking about Ichigo."
"In an alley?" Rettasu asked. She crossed her arms. "This is about Ichigo and Jake, isn't it Zakuro?"
"Alright, Rettasu. Yes, we were talking about them." Zakuro spat.
Rettasu flinched.
"Those two just aren't right for each other." Minto said.
"You think?" Purin said. "They're worse than Zakuro and Ryou!"
Zakuro growled under her breath.
"Don't talk about Zakuro like that!" Minto snapped. She grabbed onto Zakuro's arm.
"Well, she's right." Rettasu said gently. "they HAVE to come apart. NOW."
"I couldn't have said it better." Kish said.
"Are you planning some way to kill him like you did the other three? Can I help?" Purin asked. She looked pleadingly.
"Sure you can."
Taruto and Pai showed up.
"What is this, a party?" Zakuro asked sarcastically.
"Almost." Minto answered. Zakuro rolled her eyes.
"Anyways," Taruto continued. "Sure you can help Purin. We're helping."
Purin jumped for joy.
"YUPYAYUPNESSER! I LOVE YOU TAR-TAR!" She screamed.
"You need to stop getting your vocabulary from Amme..." Minto said, shaking her head.
"When do we start!?" Purin pressured.
"Tomorrow, we rent a truck. You feel like driving?" Kish asked.
"Kish, she's eleven." Rettasu called. "She's too young to drive."
"So? What is your life worth if you don't commit crime once in a while?"
"You're a Mew Mew Purin!" Rettasu argued. "You'd be your own enemy!"
"That's right! How cool! I'll be running from myself! Awesome!" Purin shouted.
"And didn't you help get rid of the lawyer?" Zakuro asked. "No wait, that was me. You got rid of the pizza boy."
Rettasu remained quiet for about two seconds.
"I'll warn Ichigo about this Purin. You're too young." She said.
Zakuro slapped Rettasu upside the head and Rettasu conked out.
The next day:
Jake/Jack was on his paper route when Purin smashed into him with a car.
"HAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU PAPER-DORK-SLIME! YES! THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Purin cackled evilly.
Kish stood beside the now dead paper-boy while laughing evilly. Suddenly, the boy opened his eyes.
"Hey! You! Finish delivering these papers NOW!" He yelled. Then he died again.
Kish shrugged and groaned.
"Aw, man! Now I have to do all this!" He griped. He got on the bike and put on the backpack that the dead paper-boy had that was full of newspapers.
Purin had disappeared to a place we won't mention right now.
Kish put his feet on the pedals and took off on the bike like he was a pro.
He came up to the first house he had to deliver to, which was an old lady's house. Kish took out a paper and threw it into the window, breaking it.
The woman came out of the house and waved at Kish, smiling.
"Thank you young man!" She shouted.
Kish flipped her off and kept going.
This kept repeating with all the houses.
"He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make this anymore obvious?" Kish hummed as he looked at the very last house he had to go to. He gasped.
The last house on the list was Ichigo's house.
"Alright!" Kish shouted while looking at the paper. "I get to go to Ichigo's; I get to go to Ichigo's!"
Kish was looking at the paper so hard while riding that he fell into the ditch that Jake/Jack fell into when the song was playing.
"Hahaha..." Kish mumbled happily. "It was too bad he had to fall, in that ditch where he was found..."
Kish was very happy thinking about going to Ichigo's. He climbed out of the ditch like a swamp monster and rode to Ichigo's.
"Ichigo!" Kish called when he got to her house. Ichigo looked out her upstairs window at Kish.
"What are you doing here Kish? Where's Jake?" She asked bubble-headedly. She became even more bubble-headed for the sake of this chapter.
"I have your paper. And Jac—I mean Jake died." Kish answered.
"You serious!?" Ichigo asked, she jumped out her window and landed on her feet like a cat on the ground. Then she took the paper.
"Thanks for the paper though."
"Hey Ichigo, I was wondering, you know, since Jac-I mean Jake died, you would wanna go out with me?" Kish asked.
"Huh?" Ichigo asked stupidly. She looked at Kish, then smiled. "Sure. It's not like I liked him anyways."
THE END AGAIN!
Amme: So...........................
Lynnia: Okay then.
Kish: What was that? I was singing the song! I WAS HAPPY! I'M NEVER HAPPY!
Ichigo: Sure you are Kishy. You're happy when you're with me.
Kish: Well, yeah.
Amme: Ichigo, do you like Kish now?
Lynnia: NO SHE DOESN'T! GIVE ME THAT COMPUTER!
Lynnia grabs the computer and Masaya shows up beside Ichigo. Ichigo is then placed in a cage.
Lynnia: The winner of this maze gets Ichigo.
Amme: LYNNIA!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO!? YOU DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE COMPUTER TO DO SOMETHING THAT DRASTIC!
Lynnia ignores Amme
Lynnia: You two will have to go through the maze on-foot, no powers.
Lynnia types something into the computer and a big maze shows up with snakes in it and everything.
Lynnia: And at the back you have to solve a riddle. Okay?
Amme: LYNNIA!?!?!?!?!?!?!? HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DIDN'T YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON IN THE LAST CHAPTER ABOUT MY COMPUTER!?
Ichigo: At least let people review to see if they want Masaya and Kish to go through the maze!
While all this is happening Kish and Masaya are struggling to get into the maze so they can finish first.
Lynnia: Okay, FINE. I'll let the reviewers decide whether they want Kish and Masaya to go through the maze. But if I do that, it'll take many chapters. By just the Author's Notes.
Amme: Which is the only way to do it.
Lynnia: Fine. Review and tell me whether you want them to race through the maze or not. And we need twenty reviews so get your friends to review! Make them! Use your imagination!!! Ok...don't use your imagination...
Amme: My teeth hurt.
Lynnia: Time for Oral B. Brush-Ups!
Broadway music plays and all the Mew Mew Characters come onto the stage and start dancing. They have these little things.
Everyone: Rip, ((they all rip this piece of paper and pull out this tiny little thing about the size of your brain)) Zip, ((They all put the tiny little things about the size of your brain on their fingers)) Brush, ((They move the tiny little things about the size of your brain across their teeth in a brush-like motion)) Ah! ((They all throw out their hands to their sides and do the "spirit fingers"))
Amme: Wow, this is more entertaining than the Electric Slide!
Lynnia is now on the stage doing it too, but messing up the words.
Lynnia: Zip, Ah! Brush, Rip!
Lynnia is also doing the wrong dance. She is doing the hokey pokey and running around the stage bumping into everyone. Then she falls off the stage.
END