Hey, This is Childlike Empress, and before the show starts I'd like to thank all my reviewers!

Raablyn

Dalamar Nightson

Guan

Dal Argent

Cobra1984

Anonymous Person

HaloEver

Chickens

Kyra Skye

LazyKender

And

99CentAkubra

THANK YOU!

To all, any, and everyone who has reviewed, or is going to.

I didn't at all expect all the positive and cool reviews I got, and until then I didn't even think my story was that good. But thanks to everyone, not only did my self-esteem get a much needed lift, I think I might have found my calling...

Forcing Characters to Sing Weird Songs in Front of an Approving Audience.

Thank you so much, and now on to the ficcy!

Tas: "That was so sweet! Little Kender tears are running down my little Kender cheeks!"

(Sniffles and blows nose loudly.)

Raistlin: "No matter how touching that pathetic Author's note was, we have a show to put on so I'd appreciate it if you would stop sniffling and do your job kender, which is announcing by the way!"

Tas: "OKAY!

THIS IS YOUR HOST TASSELHOFF BURRFOOT! INTRODUCING THE THIRD NIGHT OF...(DRUMROLL)

KRYNNISH IDOL!

So let's have a round of applause for our judges!

Raistlin: "Thank you, thank you, it's nice to get appreciated once in a while. As you all know, without me, this show wouldn't even be worth watching, so I'm so glad you realize this and are applauding me. My thanks to you all."

Goldmoon: (mumbles) "Narcissist."

Raistlin: "In an not so often bout of goodwill, I'm going to let that comment slip, cleric."

Goldmoon: "I feel soooo special."

Theros: "Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, but they were having a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marathon on HBO that I couldn't miss."

Raistlin: "No comment."

Goldmoon: "I don't want to know.."

The Judges are Seated

Tas: "Well, it's time now for our 3rd contestant (not including the whole unprecedented "Mosh Squish" performance,")

DALAMAR THE DARK!

Audience: "DALLY! DALLY! DALLY! DALLY!"

(In walks every fan girl's favorite Dark Elf, Dalamar himself.)

Goldmoon: "If only I wasn't married...GAH! I'm married, I'm married, I'm married!"

Raistlin: "Well if it isn't my second rate apprentice, you dare to show your face here Dalamar?"

Dalamar: "The contest was open to anyone with a fair voice Shalafi, and I'd don't exactly see you singing , so my presence here shouldn't be a problem."

Raistlin: "JUST MAKE YOUR STUPID FANGIRLS SHUT UP!"

Dalamar: "Thank you for your support ladies, hopefully my singing here tonight will make your evening more enjoyable."

Raistlin: "He's always so damn polite..."

Tas: "Okay, well anyways, introducing Dalamar, singing..."

Dalamar: "Before I sing, I'd just like to say a few words. As most of you know, when I was caught spying for the Conclave, My Shalafi, Archmage Raistlin Majere, made a "handprint" on my chest, that still bleeds to this day. My song for tonight will focus on how I've dealt with that."

Raistlin: "You always make me out to be the evil one! You the victim! AS IF!"

Dalamar: "Excuse me Shalafi..."

"Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming, confusing

This lack of self control I fear is never ending

Controlling.

I can't seem

To find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.)

I've felt this way before

So insecure

Crawling in my skin

these wounds they will not heal

fear is how I fall

confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me

Distracting, reacting

Against my will I stand beside my own reflection

It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.)

I've felt this way before

So insecure

Crawling in my skin

these wounds they will not heal

fear is how I fall

confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin

these wounds they will not heal

fear is how I fall

confusing what is real

Crawling...

Crawling...

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming, confusing

This lack of self control I fear is never ending

Controlling."

Fangirls: "WE LOOOVE YOU!"

Tas: "Wow! What a depressing song! But with those looks and that voice, no wonder eight girls in the audience passed out and were trampled by all his fans!

Anyway, let's hear from the judges shall we?"

Raistlin: "THAT WAS THE WORST SINGING I'VE EVER HEARD!

IT WAS TERRIBLE!

HORRIBLE!

WINDOW BREAKING,

DOG HOWLING,

AWFUL!"

Goldmoon: "Dalamar, don't you pay any attention to your Shalafi. You have a beautiful voice and the only reason Raistlin said that is because he found out the Authoress has a pin-up of you in her locker."

Theros: "Which way do you swing?"

Dalamar: Thank you for stating your opinon Shalafi, but remember your blood pressure! I hate to sound like a nagging wife, but Crysania warned you about yelling like that, and you know how she worries."

Raistlin!

Dalamar: "And Thank you Goldmoon, but I've already taken your advice. Most of the time my Shalafi is talking I have my headphones listening to the oldies station. With my superior Elf hearing I can make out just enough of what he says to do my work well, and still catch the end of 'Dark Lady' by Cher."

Goldmoon: "I love that song, but never admitted it since I'm supposedly a "good" cleric. Sigh."

Dalamar: "And Theros, I swing normally, like most people I know. Legs in front of me, pumping just to keep me going. But if you are referring to porch swings, or tire swings, I'm afraid I haven't tried either."

Tas: Well folks, looks like another lovely finish to me. Before we go, just the usual announcements.

LOST: Three Dragons: They answer to Huey, Duey, and Louie.

Tell them that their mother Flamestrike is looking for them.

Also, never drink three bottles of mouthwash in one setting. The result is that you will get very drunk and smell like spearmint for a week.

And last but not least,

REVIEW!

Hey! It's me again, the author, I wanted to try out my new hidden camera I got for backstage, how about as a special treat I show you what the judges do back stage.

(You now see Goldmoon and Raistlin sitting on a couch, the picture is rather blurry, due to the fact that Tas got his little grimy kender fingers all over it..)

Goldmoon: "You are so cruel to your apprentice Raistlin, his wounds really don't heal!"

Raistlin: "I foresaw you using your staff on him so I made sure to put an extra spell or three on him, along with my handiwork, pun intended."

Goldmoon: "You seem to be in a good mood...what did you do?"

Raistlin: "Well I just may have spiked the punch we served to the audience.."

Goldmoon: "RAISTLIN!"

Raistlin: "It was just a simple Love Potion, it will wear off."

(Suddenly amidst Raistlin's smug, and Goldmoon's shocked expressions, Theros barges in.)

Theros: "You won't believe it! The crowd did go wild! Dalamar barely made it out of here in one piece, and they are still mobbing him, look out the window!"

(Raistlin practically knocks over the couch as he scrambles to the window to admire the success of his love potion.)

And as the three judges watch in awe

(OUTSIDE)

Screaming Fans: "DALAMAR DALAMAR DALAMAR DALAMAR!"

Random Fangirl1: "Oh Dally! Will you marry me!"

Angry Boyfriend: "Get over here so I can pummel you! You pointy eared freak!"

Random Fangirl2: "OMG! I touched his ear! I TOUCHED DALAMAR'S EAR!"

Dalamar: "I know a spell induced crowed when I see one, SHALAFI!"

"AGGHHHHH!"

poof.

Fangirls: "He's gone! Where did he go? I was just on him, he just disappeared!"

(Meanwhile, at the window.)

Raistlin: "I should have known he would have used a wish spell to get away...blast... He's smarter then he looks."

Goldmoon: "You should be ashamed of yourself! You, you, you, you!"

Raistlin: "I'm so frightened!"

WHACK!

Authoress: "Goldmoon! You! You killed him!"

Goldmoon: "I just gave him a knock on the head, he'll be fine. Hopefully he'll wake up in time for the next episode."

Theros: "woohoo! Sexy lady with staff! Watch out!"

Authoress: "hmm, and I thought Raistlin and I had agreed to stop drugging you.. Oh well, Here Theros, have a Blue Coconut slushie...it's good for you! MUHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Tas: "Oh boy, she's getting more like Raistlin everyday.."