"You may be wondering, why I, Raistlin Majere am here doing the announcing...well wonder no more!
I'm sick and tired of the Author's never ceasing demands! I'm tired of listening the that Kender prattle on and on! So I'm taking over the show! And no one is going to stop me! MUAHAHAHAHAH!MUAHHAHAHAHA!
(We now see the Authoress, gagged and tied to a chair.)
Authoress: "mmmhmpheesmasghpff!"
(Translation)
"The Mage is finally off his Rocker!"
Raistlin: "Yes, you keep mumbling into that handkerchief Empress, no one's going to save you now!"
(Then...suddenly...out of nowhere!)
Mysterious unidentified voice: "Wanna bet?"
Raistlin: "No! It can't be...what are you doing here!"
M.U.V. "I was invited by a friend of mine, to come and appear on your little show."
Tas: "Invited! And here I was begging you over the phone to come and save us all from Raistlin's evil plot and all you have to say is that I INVITED YOU!"
M.U.V. "One must always be polite Tasselhoff."
Raistlin: "HELLO! What about me? This is my moment of frustration thank you very much! Now why did you have to come! I was just about to take over the show and rule the world!"
Authoress: "emphgf?"
Raistlin: "Well, the media world anyway."
M.U.V. "Well, now that the Authoress is untied, and Raistlin is Krazy glued to his judges chair, I think its time you announce me Tasselhoff. By the way, have you seen my hat?"
Tas: sigh. "It's on your head."
Authoress: "Thank you soo much! Now the show can go on!"
M.U.V. (As if we still don't know who it is..) "Next time dear, be more considerate of his Staff, that is the only thing he got for taking the test that is not well, odd."
Authoress: "I'm really sorry Raistlin.."
Raistlin: Hmpf.
Authoress: "I kinda think your white hair is cool, and your eyes are really sexy."
Crysania: "Watch it! He is married you know!"
Raistlin: "WHAT? NO I'M NOT!"
Crysania: "Darling, you wouldn't remember, it was after Goldmoon hit you over the head with her staff the first time. She performed the ceremony for me on the spot!"
(But by this time, our mage had fainted dead away.)
Theros: "Darlings, can we get this started? I have a manicure at 3 'o clock."
Goldmoon: "Ready when you are Tas."
Tas: "IT IS MY EXTREME PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE...
MY FRIEND FIZBAN!"
Fizban: "It's a pleasure to be here my boy, now lets get this thing started.
Um. What was I supposed to sing? Oh yes, here we go...to the newlyweds!
"It's a state of being, a frame of mind
It's a most befuddling thing
And to every being of its kind
It's discombooberating
You're wasting your time resisting
You'll find the more you do
The more she'll keep insisting
Her him has got to be you!
It's a rough game, everyone knows
There are no rules, anything goes
There's no logical explanation
For this discombooberation
It's a most bemuddling, most befuddling thing
Golmoon: "Is he talking about love?"
Raistlin: "Or his forgetfulness...one does wonder."
There's no sensible explanation
For this discombooberation
It's a most hodge-podgical
Most illogical
Most confusing
Most bamboozling
Most bemuddling
Most befuddling
Thing."
Audience: "ENCORE! ENCORE!"
Fizban: "Well I really must be going, but here's one more as I leave."
Raistlin: "Goldmoon, will you please hit me with your staff again?"
Cyrsania: "Poor baby, he's an old man let him have his encore."
Raistlin: "Wake me when it's over."
"Higitus figitus zumba ka zing!
I want your attention everything
We're packing to leave
Come on lets go.
No, no not you.
Books are always first you know.
Hockety pockety wockety wack
Abra cabra dabra nack
Shrink in size, very small
We've got to save enough room for all
Higitus figitus migitus mum
Prestidigitonium
Alica fez, balica zez
Malaca mex meripedes
Hockety pockety wockety -whoa
Hockety pockety wockety wack
Theros: "Everything has been sucked into his sack!"
Raistlin: "NOOOO! NOT MY STAFF!"
Odds and ends and bric-a-brac
Be with you in just a minute son,
Packing's almost done
Dum doodly doodly dum
Higitus figitus migitus mum
Prestidigitonium
Higitus figitus migitus mum
Prestidigitonium!"
POOF!
Authoress: "Raistlin, honey he's gone...you can let go of the staff now..."
Raistlin: "BITE ME!"
Tas: "Or not..hehehe. READ AND REVIEW!"