"Hello everyone! And welcome to the almost last chapter of Krynnish Idol!
This is your esteemed host, Tasselhoff Burrfoot, and sniff sniff I"M GOING TO MISS ALL OF YOU SOOO MUCH!"
Authoress: "Tas Honey, we'll all see each other during the reunion episode, so It won't be that long!"
Tas: "But, sniff they're like my family! I'll miss them! And after that! What then I ask you?"
Authoress: "um. Have a kleenex!"
Tas: "Thank you."
Raistlin: "If you are all done with your stupid crying and carrying on, can we please start the show already!"
Authoress: "Have a heart Raistlin! Tas is just overcome with emotion! Something you've never really expressed...except when we watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and you cried-
Raistlin: " I DID NOT CRY! IT WAS MY ALLERGIES! ALLERGIES! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!"
Authoress: "well, you cried at all the right parts though!"
Raistlin: "I can't help it that white furry thing the size of a footstool kept walking in all the time! What is that thing?"
Authoress: "That thing...IS MY CAT!"
Raistlin: "He is grossly overweight, have you tried "Kitty Kraig?"
Authoress: "Yes! Sob! I've tried everything! Slimfast, Release, Hydroxy, ginkgo boloba..."
Raistlin: "Ginkgo Boloba?"
Authoress: "I'm not sure what it is or what it does, but I tried it okay!"
Raistlin: "Have you ever tried feeding him your famous Blue Coconut Slushie?"
WHAP!
Authoress: "HOW CAN YOU SUGGEST SUCH A THING? DRUGGING MY KID? MY BABY? YOU EVIL MAGE!"
Raistlin: "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't help it! I was born evil! Have mercy!"
Goldmoon: "Gee, there they go again."
Theros: "They make such a cute couple!"
Goldmoon: "huh?"
Authoress: "COME HERE YOU YOU, YOU EVIL MAGE!"
Raistlin: "DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'VE RUN OUT OF INSULTS!
Authoress: "AGGGHHH!"
Raistlin: "EEEEEEEEEEEK!"
Tas: "Wow! I didn't know Raistlin could sing that high! But the authoress was just telling me yesterday, that a good kick to the nuts does wonders to a man...I'll have to try it sometime! EEP! (Tas continues in a VERY high voice.)
Eh here's our last finalist, introducing ..BUPU! Sigh. Can I fall over in pain now?"
Authoress: "Yes."
Tas: Thump.
(Now Bupu comes out on stage, wearing a slinky black dress by Vera Wang, and eeeenooorrmously hiiiiiiiiiigh heels.)
Bupu: "Bupu is so tall now! Taller than alllllllllll gully dwarfs! Taller than High Bulp!
Now Bupu can kiss the pretty man! Come here pretty man! Pretty man?"
Raistlin: "EEEEEEEEEEK!"
Bupu: "There you are! Now come give Bupu a kiss!"
(10 Minutes Later)
Goldmoon: "When is he going to realize that the authoress is giving Bupu instructions through a walkie talkie?"
Theros: "So that's why she keeps finding him! I really thought he would be safe in the freezer, but she found him there too...oh well At least I can finish reading the may issue of Cosmo Girl!"
(Meanwhile Backstage)
Caramon: "Now sing after me, 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.."
Gully Dwarf Chorus: "We take one down, give it to you then there's only 98 bottles of beer on the wall!"
Caramon: "Again! 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."
Raistlin: "So you've finally convinced Bupu that the kiss can wait till after she sings?"
Authoress: "Yes! And you owe me! She thinks that I'm trying to keep her from "The pretty man".
Raistlin: "Maybe you are."
Authoress: "What?"
Raistlin: "I had fun with you last night, the ice cream, the movie, even your fat cat. Do you wanna go out after we finish taping?"
Authoress: "Sure!"
SMACK!
Bupu: "Bupu is going to sing now! GET AWAY FROM THE PRETTY MAN!"
Authoress: "You owe me you owe me you owe me you owe me!"
Raistlin: "sigh. Why are all the females in my life soo...strange?"
Tas: "Wow! I feel sooo much better! I found this glass of blue stuff back stage, and now I'm higher than a kite! Then a bird! A plane! I'm SUPER KENDER! LALALALALALALALALALALALAALLA-
Everyone: "OH NO! THE BLUE COCONUT SLUSHIE!"
Bupu: "BUPU IS GOING TO SING NOW! PRETTY MAN! YOU BETTER HAD LISTEN TO BUPU!"
Raistlin: "I'm listening Bupu!"
Goldmoon: "Where are my headphones?"
Theros: de de dee de de di da do di do do.. (Faint strains of "Don't Phunk My Love" come from Theros's direction.)
Goldmoon: "And my favorite song too! Dang it."
Bupu: "BUPU IS GOING TO SING NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Authoress: "Point Taken! Band! Hit it!"
"Don't know much about history.
Don't know much Biology.
Don't know much about science books,
or the french I never took!
But I do know that I love you!
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful world this would be!
Don't know much about Geography.
Don't know much Trigonometry.
Don't know much about Algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for.
What is that? Bupu has hard time reading the computer screen...
But I do know that I love you!
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful world this would be!
Now I don't claim to be an A student. (What is A?) But I'm trying to beee!
Cause' maybe by being, an A student baby, I can win your love for me!
Don't know much about History.
Don't know much Biology.
Don't know much about science books.
or the french I never took,
But I do know that I love you!
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful world this would be!
But I do know that I love you!
And I know that if you love me too, what a wonderful world this would be!"
Goldmoon: "She did pretty well, better with the adlib then Tas anyways."
Theros: "I thought she was adorable! If only I wasn't taken!"
Bupu: "That was for you pretty man! Now give this Bupu a kissy!"
Raistlin: "Taco Bell, 10:00?"
Authoress: "Right, now scram!"
POOF!
Bupu: "Where's the pretty man! Pretty man? PRETTY MAN!"
Authoress: "Raistlin had to go, but he loved your singing and said that he'll visit you sometime in Xak Tsoreth."
(forgive my spelling, I can't find my copy of Autumn Twilight!)
Bupu: "You! YOU STOLE THE PRETTY MAN!"
Authoress: "what? I didn't!"
Bupu: (Starts laughing maniacally, and pull out a gigantic machete)
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!
Authoress: "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tas: "wow this blue stuff is eeeemaaaazingg glug glug glug...I'll have to let Caramon have some, it sure is better then 28 bottles of beer on the wall or whatever he's saying.."
Authoress: (Running madly from the psychopathic gully dwarf)
"Tune in next week for our grand finale, announcement of winners, and over all reunion! Yikes! All this week, please vote for your favorite contestants! And since there are so few contestants, each reviewer can vote for up to3 people just to make it interesting. Also, nominations for our "Losers Hall of Shame" are welcome and needed! (You may include Tas, Miranda, or Skie for this category despite the fact that they are not official contestants)
Thanks to all my faithful reviewers!
Now, Vote and Review! EEEEEEEEK! Somebody get a straitjacket!"
THE END
(Until next time that is!)