Degrassi, Part 4

Now, since everyone admires the glamour, beauty, poise, and overall acting talent of the commercial geeks, we've decided that they would be really good on the set of Degrassi!

            Paige sat at her lunch table, surrounded by friends, as the sound of the first bell rang.  The new girl, I'll just name her Olga, sat at the table, staring at her dreamily.

            "Duh, muybe if ah wanna be popular, I'll have to hang out with hoooour sometoooime," Olga said.  "But what would my doouhg waunt me ta doo?"

            Poor, unsuspecting Paige had no idea that in two seconds she would embark on the worst conversation of her life.  As she got up, to empty her tray, she crashed into something huge.  Was it a boulder?  A car?  The moon?  An ape?  A hot air balloon?  No, it was just the new kid, Olga.

            "Am soooruy," she said geekily.  "So, you wanna haaung sometooooime?" she asked.

            "Could you just go back to whatever geek group you're representing, and just leave me alone?" Paige asked.

            "Buh no, wait," she said.  "I gotta show you mah talent!" she yelled like a goon.

            "What talent?  Like, how fast you can eat?" Paige asked.

            "Yo, are youh goanna eaut thayut?" Olga asked, pulling out Paige's hair scrunchi, and eating it.

            "You're so going to pay for that!" Paige exclaimed.

            As she walked down the hallway, trying to catch up with one of her friends, Paige had only one thought on her mind.  I am so glad that is over.  But my SCRUNCHI!

            Just then, the infamous boy with the potato sack on his head walked up to her, followed by the other boy who's neck made him look like a giraffe, and their medication deprived idiot friend.

            "Hah," the boy with the potato sack on his head, appropriately named, Boy with the potato sack on his head said.  "Yo lukin real prettuh today.  Wanna go out on a date?"

            "Ugh!  Get out of my life, and go date that Olga loser!" Paige said, disgusted.

            Poor Paige.  "Well," Girraffe Neck said.  "Since he was sincere about it, it didn't sound like something stupid.  So, why don't you give him a chance?"

            Paige started getting very nervous, and rushed to the bathroom to hide, but much to her dismay, she crashed into another new girl.  "Hay!  My name is Bertha, and I think whauy'll get along WANDERFLEEE!"

            "Uh, no, we won't!" Paige said.  As she turned around to leave, she was greeted by the strapping young African boy with an enormous overbite that he could use on an Archaeological Dig. 

            "What made you decide to come into the girl's bathroom?" Paige asked.

            "Well, I mean, wandering around bothering people is no big deal, uh mean, just be caaaaalm, and just doo it!"

            "WHY ARE ALL THESE IDIOTS FOLLOWING ME????!!!!!!!!!!!" Paige demanded, running out of the bathroom.  "I am dreaming, I am dreaming, I am dreaming, I am dreaming!"

            Later that day, in a daze, Paige decided to try out for cheerleading again, for an extra support group.  Standing there waiting, she saw all of the cheerleaders putting on makeup, and talking about boys.  "Ah," she said.  "Safety."

            "HUIY, PAAAIGE!!!" Olga said; running in and flapping her arms around wildly like a nutcase.

            "Um, Paige?" a cheerleader asked.  "Is that like, a friend of yours or something?"

            "No," Paige said.  "I've never seen this geek before in my life."

            "What is she doing here, anyway?" another cheerleader wanted to know.

            "Muy dooouhg sometooimes tells me that ooid made a guud cheeurleader, so ah thoowut ahd trooooy oot," Olga said.

            "Your dog must be one heck of an idiot then," the cheerleader said.

            "You talk to your dog?" Paige asked in disbelief.

            "Yuuh."

            "Okay, just let her tryout, so she can leave!" someone said.

            "Ohkay!" Olga yelled, grabbing the pompoms.

            "Yooiy Dugwassi, yaaaaaaay!!!!" she yelled, jumping up and down crazily, landing on the floor with a thud, and breaking the floor.

            "She's destroying the Gym!" someone shrieked.

            "We have to stop her!" a person trying out who was getting trampled by Olga screamed.  "Paige, do something!"

            She pulled the fire alarm, and ran.  "I just want to get out of here!"

            When she finally got home, and shut the door, panting, Paige's mother greeted her.  "You would not believe the day I had!" Paige exclaimed.

            "Oh, honey, I forgot to tell you.  We're having a few guests over tonight from your school.  They'll be staying here until someone is crazy enough to take them in."

            With that, every one of the characters from the commercials waved.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Paige yelled.  "Oh, God!  What did I ever do wrong??????"

            Okay, I have to stop now before I go insane.  I feel slightly sorry for Paige.  And if I misrepresented her in any way, I'm sorry.  I haven't really seen a whole lot of Degrassi episodes yet, but I've watched it a few times, and I know the N well.