JANAPURNA
Hold Your Horses
"Tall, Blond, Dark & Lean - Rough and Tough and Strong and Mean... It's Raining Men, Hallelulia! "- The Weathergirls
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The sky had become a dark, slate grey. It melded in with the flat, empty land. There was no wind. No movement. There was absolutely nothing but a still, dead grey for as far as the eye could see. But there was a voice. A light, female whisper was all that disturbed the eternal, silent calm.
"He doesn't like me, does he?"
A second voice joined it - still female, but louder and more confident.
"Of course he does, Sheila. He's under a spell, same as the rest of them. He's only human."
"You sure about that? You're certain it isn't just that he really likes her, and not me?"
"Sure I'm sure. I've seen the way he looks at you."
"Well it's not the same way that he looks at her." There was a brief pause, then the first voice continued again, tearfully. "I mean, I don't know what else I can do... I'm always there for him... following him around in this stupid place..."
"...Saving his worthless hide every other day..." added the second voice, reflectively.
"...dressed in this ridiculous porn star get-up," continued the first voice, "and there's nothing. But some girl he's never met turns up in some shapeless smock and sings him a song, and he goes crazy!"
"Don't blame her, Sheila. She doesn't enjoy it."
"And that makes it even worse! I'd give anything to have him look at me like that. Anything."
The second voice sighed. "Yeah..."
The voices fell quiet as a shape became visible in the gloom. It was moving, fast, towards them, its long, dark hair and grey skirt whipping behind it.
"Here we go..." breathed the first voice as a screeching whinny sounded out from behind the running figure.
The the girl was running slightly off course.
"Here, Janapurna!" shouted the second voice, invisibly. Janapurna careered to the left, and began to sprint directly towards the cloaked girls. As she did, the sky formed two black shadows, which solidified into winged horses, chasing her furiously. They neighed again, rearing up, but blew their rotting breath into the air above Janapurna.
"You see that?" whispered the first voice.
Janapurna passed them both, missing them by inches.
"Yeah," replied the second.
The horses flew over the girls' heads. Diana freed herself from the cloak and extended her staff. She turned briefly to Sheila as the redhead recloaked.
"They can't hurt her. This could prove useful."
She found herself nodding meaningfully at nothing.
---She was sure she could feel time slowing down. She only had one chance. If she missed, or fell, those things would be on top of her before she'd have chance to get to her feet. She ran at the nearest horse, raising her staff. A few feet from the creature, she slammed the end of the weapon into the ash, leaping up and pushing her body weight down onto the staff as she did. She felt herself soar momentarily, leaving her stomach on the ground behind her, and she pushed out her arms, her hands clawed. As she landed on the beast's back, she bunched her fingers tightly around its mane and squeezed her legs against its giant ribcage. It bucked and reared furiously, but she held tight.
"What have we here?" she muttered to it, "petulant, uncooperative, charmless and proud..."
The horse bucked again. Diana held fast, grinning.
"I think I'm in love..."
She tugged at its mane, forcing the creature to turn. Janapurna ran past again, gazing up at her expectantly, but still pursued by the second horse.
"Listen," yelled Diana to the other girls, "I got one of them under control, but it's not big enough to carry all six of us. You two are gonna have to get the other one." She could feel the Thief's invisible eyes gazing up at her in horror. "It's easy once you're on board," she added, cheerfully, holding on for dear life.
Janapurna stopped running. The unbroken stallion turned, and began closing in on her.
"Sheila?" she called.
Unseen hands caught her arms from behind, and a voice whispered in her ear. "Those things can't hurt you, Janapurna. No matter what you do."
The enchantress nodded. "Fine. I'll keep it occupied, you get saddled up."
She stepped back a little, then began to wave her arms at the beast. "Hey! Hey, horsie!"
The horse came to a stop, right in front of her. It really was as horrible as she remembered. She had had no idea, before seeing those foul creatures the first time, that horses could possibly look angry or malicious. But these things could, and did, permanently. It huffed, but directed its breath at the ground. Janapurna still shuffled back, nervously.
"Re... remember me?" she stammered, watching an invisible person creep invisibly up to a spectral stallion and wondering if her day could possibly get any weirder, "it's your old master's bride... and I've been a... a naughty girl, and I'm out of my pen, and I..."
The horse bucked suddenly, screeching. There was a yelp, and the small shape of the fallen Thief dented the ash. The creature turned to see what it had thrown from its back, but Janapurna screamed sharply, distracting it.
"Come back here!" Her eyes widened in disbelief as the horse, implausibly, obeyed her. It pawed the ground, snorting. "Stay..." she warned, "...stay..."
The horse whinnied and shook itself yet again, but this time there was no cry. The invisible Thief uncloaked, revealing a petite, pale redhead clutching the beasts' mane tightly in terror. Janapurna edged towards the creature gingerly, and although it stamped its feet dangerously, it stayed put.
"It's staying," gasped Sheila. "It's doing what it tells you."
"Maybe your ex-fiance left them to you," added Diana.
"That would make sense." Janapurna put a hand to stroke the horse's side, then thought better of it. "He did love me. They all do."
She smiled sadly up at Sheila. Her face fell at the cold look with which the redhead regarded her. A brief glance in the Acrobat's direction yielded a precise reflection of Sheila's disdain. She looked back up at the Thief, apologetically. Without softening her expression, Sheila held a hand down to Janapurna. Janapurna took it, gratefully.
"We'll see," said Sheila as she helped the enchantress pull herself up onto the giant beast. Janapurna wrapped her arms tightly around the slim girl.
"So now what?" Sheila asked her friend. "How do we make them go?"
"They should do whatever Janapurna tells them to," answered Diana, breaking into a smile. "Failing that..." she wielded her staff. "I find a quick smack'll usually do the trick."
"I'm not gonna hit a defenceless animal!"
"Sheila, what you're sitting on is the opposite of 'defenceless'." A wicked thought crossed her mind. "Face it, girls, if you're gonna keep a stallion between your legs, you're gonna have to show him who's boss..."
She was met with two equally nonplussed expressions. She briefly turned her eyes skyward. Eric would have got that one. Admittedly, he'd have read it as a come-on, but at least he'd have laughed!
"Let's get back to the shelter," she sighed, "who knows what trouble those horrible boys will have got themselves into by now..."
Janapurna leaned past Sheila and muttered to her mount, which obediently turned in the direction of the shelter and took off. It only took a gentle smack from Diana's staff for the second horse to follow suit.
"You shouldn't worry," Janapurna told Sheila as they flew, "I can't have left them any more than quarter of an hour ago, and they were all half asleep. What could have possibly happened since then?"
---Fifteen minutes earlier
The sky had become a dark, slate grey. It melded in with the flat, empty land. There was a soft snoring coming from within the shelter, and two young men sat on the stones surrounding it, appreciatively watching the curvaceous brunette sprinting away from them. After a while, the slighter, darker man spoke.
"When d'you think she'll be back?"
The blond man shrugged. "Soon. She said she'd be back soon."
There was another pause.
"Still," smiled the young Cavalier, "I do love to watch her leave."
"Really?" Hank watched her fade into the distance and hugged his arms to himself. "I miss her already."
Eric snorted a laugh. "Can't believe you're pining after a girl..."
"She's not a girl!" snapped Hank, rising. "She's not silly or needy or... girlish. Janapurna's a woman. With a woman's heart and a woman's needs..."
"...and a woman's bottom..."
Hank met Eric's grin frostily. "Yes, I noticed you liked her too."
Eric just shrugged, still smiling. "Bit of healthy competition. It'll keep me on my toes."
"Try to sleaze all over her again and those toes won't touch the ground."
Eric's jaw dropped open in amazement. He regarded Hank's serious stance for the briefest moment, then burst into hysterical giggles. "Oh! Oh, a threat?" Hank didn't flinch, but drew himself a little taller, exaggerating the inch in height he had over the laughing youth. "The boy scout is challenging me to a duel? Oh, this is too much! You're killing me!"
Hank watched Eric stagger across to the mound, doubled over in hysterics. "See, that's your big trouble, Eric. You never take anything seriously."
Eric shook his head, wiping a tear from his eye. "Well, they say laughter's the best aphrodisiac..."
"I think you'll find that's Power."
"Which, obviously, you have by the bucketload." Eric had stopped laughing. He pulled himself up straight and eyed Hank, who still hadn't moved. "Forget it, Hank. I'm not gonna fight you."
"Because you know I'd kick your ass." This time it was Hank's turn to smile.
"No..." replied Eric, unconvincingly, "because it's stupid. Now I'm going to join Presto in catching a few 'Z's, and I'd recommend you steer clear of the 'gay' jokes from now on..."
Hank felt his fists bunch involuntarily as Eric moved towards the door of the shelter. He was going to have the last word. Again! He always had to get the last word in! Well, not this time.
"You're a coward, Montgomery."
Eric froze in the doorway, his back still to the Ranger. "Gentlemen don't use the 'C' word, Hank." His manner was dangerously courteous.
"Admit it." Hank couldn't stop himself. And, for once, he really didn't want to. "You're a snivelling little coward, and that's why girls don't like you."
Eric turned to him, calmly. "Look, you're obviously cut up over me and Janapurna, so I'm gonna let this one..."
"Not just Janapurna, Eric. Face it, you're hardly Hugh Heffner." He gave Eric the Look that he only seldom used - the one that always, always made the younger boy look away first - and spoke simply and clearly. "Girls just like me better than you."
Eric didn't back down this time. "Name one."
It would have been so easy to say 'Sheila'. There was no denying that - all the others had made little teasing comments about it, including Eric. And the Cavalier had certainly grown fond of the little redhead. But it wouldn't have upset him. He appeared to wish the pair of them happiness together, in his own little sarcastic Ericky way. And Hank was playing for higher stakes than that.
"Diana Jones."
Yep. There it was. That look Hank had caught him giving Kosar behind his back all those times. Only magnified around tenfold.
"Liar," lied Eric, his head swimming with the hundreds of little moments when he'd seen the two of them chatting, laughing, flirting...
"She laughs at you, you know," Hank added, twisting the truth, "she thinks you're just some silly kid with a crush..."
"She knows?"
Hank grinned, delighted at Eric's distress. "Of course she knows! Everybody knows! And everybody but you it seems knows that it isn't you she wants, it's me. Just like Janapurna."
Eric set his face, furiously, stepping away from the doorway. "OK, Hank. You got your wish. You got your Goddamn duel." He raised his shield, but eyed Hank's bow with worry. "Uhh.. look, I'm not sure we should do this with weapons."
Hank glanced down at the bow in his hands. He'd sworn to himself, after seeing the damage it was capable of, that he'd never, ever use it aggressively. He hadn't broken that vow for Venger, and he really didn't want to break it over some kid he could easily pummel barehanded.
"Fine." He tossed the bow to the ash.
Eric threw his shield down, relieved. "I mean, I don't want to kill you..."
"But the armour's not fair," added Hank.
Eric looked down at the several layers of steel covering him. "Touché. So, what? Skins?" He began to unbuckle his breastplate, but nodded at Hank. "You too, Man. That leather must be pretty protective."
Hank rolled his eyes, but removed his tunic anyway. "Well, isn't this manly?"
"It was your idea," replied Eric, pulling his chainmail shirt over his head. "Any more provisos before we start?"
"Yeah," said Hank. "This is a clean fight. For Janapurna."
"Right." Eric cracked his ungloved fingers. "Nothing below the belt, that sort'a thing."
"Exactly." Hank held his hand out.
Eric took his hand, and shook it. "Not the face."
Hank nodded curtly. "Not the hair."
There was a pause. They were still shaking hands.
Eric broke the silence with a short, nervous laugh. "Look, this is pretty dumb..."
Oh no you don't! You're not slinking out of this one!
Hank said nothing, but twisted his right hand out of Eric's grasp and punched the youth hard in the stomach. Eric staggered back, winded.
"I wasn't ready..." was all he managed to gasp before Hank hit him again. Eric lashed out weakly at Hank as he approached. Hank barely flinched at the fist hitting his chest, but with fast, archer's hands, reached up and grabbed the Cavalier by the wrist, twisting him round into a Half Nelson. Eric cried out in pain and frustration as Hank easily forced him to the ground, pinning his arm behind him.
"Yield!" hissed Hank, pushing his entire body weight onto Eric's twisted arm.
"Up yours, Legolas!"
Eric yelped as Hank pulled his arm further up his back in retaliation. "OK... OK... just let me go."
Hank gave Eric's arm one last twist, then released him. He stood triumphantly, watching Eric painfully rise. He held out his hand again. The defeated Cavalier eyed it suspiciously.
"I'm just stronger than you," explained Hank, the jealous rage in him swiftly ebbing away, "there's no shame in it." He gave Eric a supportive little smile. Honour had been satisfied. "No hard feelings?"
Eric paused for a moment, shaking the life back into his right arm and brushing ash from his lips. He stepped towards Hank and, meeting his smile, took his hand, pulled the Ranger into him and swiftly raised a knee between Hank's legs.
"None at all."
Hank couldn't scream, couldn't swear. His mouth gaped open in wordless shock and agony. His feet rooted to the spot, he crumpled to the ground, doubling over his stinging crotch. He lifted his outraged face to Eric, tears welling involuntarily in his eyes.
"That... wasn't... fair!" he gasped, breathlessly.
Eric just shrugged. "Of course it wasn't. I'm Eric."
"You knew!' Hank spat, "you knew you'd never beat me in a fair fight."
"Sure." Eric turned back to the shelter, dismissing him. "So did you. That's why you started it."
He's doing it again!
"No!" Hank launched himself lengthways at Eric's ankles, causing the other boy to lose his balance and topple. "I'm not done with you yet!"
Eric tried to kick out at Hank as he was dragged back by the top of his pants and flung to his back, but the Ranger dodged his legs and blocked an attempted punch with a forearm.
"You wanna play dirty?" seethed Hank, picking a fistful of ash from the ground, "Fine!" He flung the grey ash into the other youth's dark eyes.
Eric screamed, clutching his face, and Hank took advantage of his temporary blindness, slapping him several times across the head. Suddenly, Eric lashed out his hands, catching Hank's arms. Hank looked down at the other boys' unprotected face. His eyes were red-raw, weeping and still unseeing. Hank clawed his hands around, clutching Eric's wrists as tightly as Eric had his. Stalemate. There was nothing either of them could...
With hindsight, Hank marvelled at how somebody who couldn't see a thing and was probably half concussed had managed to aim a mouthful of spit and phlegm so perfectly into his left eye. At the time, however, he merely cursed and dropped Eric's arms, wiping the foul, stinging goop off his face. As he did, Eric flung out a hand quickly, grabbing Hank's long, blond hair tightly at the roots and pulling his head helplessly into him. Hank barely had time to react before he was dealt a right hook to the cheek by Eric's free hand. The surprising force of it pushed his head back hard. Hank heard a sickening rip by his ear, then felt the pain at the side of his scalp. He sat back momentarily, stunned, blinking in the gloom, watching Eric throw the handful of blond hair to the ground and prop himself up onto his elbows. That did it. That took the biscuit. He was just going to have to kill him. He threw himself down onto the prone Cavalier, but Eric, regaining his eyesight, managed to roll away swiftly, leaving Hank attempting to throttle a mound of ashes. Hank got up to all fours, looking about himself in fury.
"Where are you, you little..."
A very hard blow to the back of his head threw him back onto his chest. Dazed, Hank rolled to his back and saw Eric, rising from his knees, snarling animalisticly. The long, curved implement in the dark boy's hands was throbbing with magic. His bow! That little bastard had hit him with his own bow! Eric raised the bow again, but Hank dodged away, kicking out at Eric's shin as he did.
Two can play at that game...
Hank grabbed the nearby shield and stumbled to his feet. He could hear Eric taking a run up behind him. He span around 180 degrees on the spot, bringing the shield out in a long, fast arc in front of him. Hank nearly had to drop the shield as its edge caught the side of Eric's jaw hard, throwing him violently to the ground - he could feel the weapon crackling with unhappy magic, sending electrical shocks through his fingers as it protested at being used against its master. But it was worth it. He stood over Eric victoriously, watching the boy wipe his hand along the gash on the side of his face and react, horrified, to the amount of blood coming from it. He raised the shield again as Eric lifted the bow, painful magic shooting down both their hands...
"STOP!"
Both boys paused as the young Wizard skidded in between them, his hands outstretched.
"Presto..."
"What are you doing?" It was more an accusation than a simple question. The teenager's face was alive with rage.
Hank lowered the shield sheepishly. "Um..."
"You're fighting... using weapons... God! You could have really hurt each other!"
Presto snatched the bow out of Eric's hands. Hank dropped the shield of his own accord. Still Presto glowered at him angrily.
"How stupid! How pointless!" Presto threw the bow to the ground.
Hank looked down and, doing so, saw Eric properly for the first time since they'd started fighting. The dark youth was red eyed and bloody faced. There was a good bruise starting to form on his stomach. Hank could feel the swelling beginning on his cheek and the back of his head, but at the same time he couldn't help but notice how very skinny Eric still was - one of those wiry kids, all speed and no substance. It had been a miracle he'd fought back as well as he had.
He sighed. "You're right. We shouldn't be fighting amongst ourselves..."
"...especially since Janapurna's obviously in love with me," finished Presto.
Hank and Eric both looked at the Magician, then at each other, flabbergasted.
"You?" exclaimed Eric, beginning to pick himself up.
"Yes. Me." Presto folded his arms with an unusual sullenness. "Any reason why not?"
"You've seen a mirror lately, right?" Eric began to nonchalantly dust himself off, and Hank couldn't help but smile. Presto! That was ridiculous!
Presto rolled his eyes in irritation. "Oh yes. I get it. I understand what all this is about." He stood apart from them and seemed to address the heavens themselves. "There's always so much testosterone flying about between you two, you're always so worried about who's the strongest, who's the coolest, who's the sexiest... and while the both of you have been having your little yearlong posing contest, it seems to have escaped your attention as to who actually gets the girls around here."
That caught their attention. They both turned and stared at Presto, who grinned cruelly.
"Who out of the three of us is the one who's ever had a real girlfriend? Is it you, Hank, for all your Comic Book Hero looks and all your Goddamn moralising? Is it you, Eric, for all your bragging and your joking and your White Boy brooding? Or is it the poor, myopic, buck toothed nerd that nobody ever pays any attention to? Could it be that while you two apes were spending your adolescence strutting round each other, the Beta Male over here was spending his time actually talking to girls, getting to know them, and on the way getting a bit of frigging action?"
"Presto..." attempted Eric.
"For example," continued Presto, "have either of you even kissed a girl?" He waited for a reaction, but neither boy moved a muscle. "No? Just me, again? With two of the prettiest girls I ever saw with us 24/7 and an ex-fiancee under your belt? C'mon, you two are pathetic! You think you can win her over by hitting each other? I mean..." Presto stalled slightly, "I mean, what d'you think you guys got that I haven't?"
There was a long pause. Hank thought of a very cruel response, but didn't want to say it.
His so-called best friend, on the other hand, appeared not to be above that sort of underhandedness. Eric folded his arms, looked Presto in the eyes and smiled viciously. "Pubes."
Presto gave himself no time to think. He barrelled into Eric with a Kamikaze scream, knocking the Cavalier over with a barrage of flying fists. Hank ran to them, trying to prize the fighting friends apart.
"Guys! Guys!" He pulled Presto up by the scruff of the neck. "Stop this!"
Presto reached around, slapping Hank on the side of the face with surprising strength. "Stay out of this, Pretty Boy!"
Hank let go of the magician, then reared up on them both with a sudden rage.
"Don't. Call. Me. PRETTY!"
He fell into them, and they rolled aimlessly in the ash, a three person strong maelstrom of thrashing limbs and pheromones. There were nails in there, and teeth. It was only when Hank pulled away from the others, crying out and checking the crook of his elbow for blood, that he realised they had come outside the protective stone circle.
"Uh-oh..."
A spectral horse neighed sharply, right on cue. This did not, however, stop the other boys from fighting.
"Guys..." Hank attempted tapping Eric on the shoulder.
There was a second neigh, closer this time.
"Guys!"
"Oh my goodness."
All three boys looked up, guiltily at the sultry voice.
The stallions were at a standstill in front of them. Diana rode one, alone. Sheila rode the other, with Janapurna sat behind her, shaking her head in horror.
"If you Gentlemen are quite finished," said Diana with a false politeness, "there's still a frightened nine year old alone out there. Would you care to join us weak, feeble women in rescuing him?"
The boys all watched Janapurna. She looked sad. Sad and so very tired of being sad. She pressed her head against Sheila's back and closed her eyes against the world.
Diana raised her eyebrows at the half dressed, bloodied boys. "Well?"