Sorry that it's been a while since i updated(again)... thanks for all the reviews and please continue to give them ) melike!

the Truth about Trust

"So…" -Clark's voice- "are you gay then?"

"How long have you been waiting to ask that?"

Lex smirked: he'd been thinking that himself.

"Can't you ever just answer a question?"

"Are you implying that I'm evasive?"

"No. I'm outright telling you that you are. Now answer the question Lex!"

"What was it again?"

Lex grinned mouthing 'I'm good!' at Clark, while Clark glared back at him, feeling mildly cheated, even though Lex hadn't actually really said that.

"Lex!" Clark's voice whined.

Clark nodded in agreement, glaring at Lex.

"Not as such. I've been with women in the past."

"Oh." Clark sounded almost disappointed.

He blushed as Lex raised an eyebrow at him.

"Umm… does that mean you're bisexual? Have you… umm… been with guys before?"

Lex grinned at Clark at that "You know, curiosity killed the cat, Clark."

"You know, curiosity killed the cat, Clark."

Lex glared at the tape player sharply, as if to challenge it on its behaviour.

"erugh! Look, I'm just not going to bother if you won't answer any damn questions I ask you!"

Footsteps echoed, a creak was heard.

Both Clark and Lex frowned at one another across the room, tilting their heads and wondering, until Clark shifted on the bench slightly making it creak and they both nodded.

"I'm sorry Clark. I just get very defensive about my personal life… I mean, so much of my past, of what I've done, is so incredibly far from Kansas. I'm pretty sure you can understand what it's like to be afraid to tell people the truth about yourself. I know you feel that way too… otherwise you wouldn't lie to me."

Silence.

Neither Clark nor Lex looked at one another.

Lex continued…

"I haven't had feelings for any women in a long time… but I haven't had feelings for many men ever."

"But you have had feelings for men?" he definitely sounded hopeful at that.

Lex smirked at Clark, while Clark continued to be embarrassed for his tape-self: it wasn't that he didn't normally think about the things Tape-Clark was asking; he just never actually voiced them.

"Yes."

"When you say feelings…?"

"Do you ever stop asking difficult questions?"

"Maybe I will when I have them all answered."

A loud sigh; had to be Lex.

"Fine! When I say feelings, generally I mean sexual feelings"

"Hmmm… so you've had sexual feelings for guys…What about love?"

"What about it?" Lex paused…

Both Lex and Clark winced, internally trying to give Tape-Lex a mental prod to encourage him not to stop at that, lest Tape-Clark kill him

…then, thankfully, he continued "I think emotional attachment isn't so dependant on gender."

After a pause Clark continued.

"So… you have been in love with a guy before?"

"Clark… we've spoken about love not really being an equation in my life…"

"No. You said before that you'd only ever loved two women. And that was before…" a meaningful pause that was, no doubt, accompanied by a look "Anyway, you never said anything about guys."

"No, I never have, have I? I wonder why I never thought to mention it!" Lex sounded amused and yet incredulous.

"Okay, so it never exactly came up in conversation, but I'm asking now."

"…If I've loved a guy before?"

"Lex, why is it always a challenge… a game? Are you that scared of being hurt?"

"Yes I am…because I have been… and in my experience people can't hurt you if they don't know the truth."

"No, they don't know how they're hurting you if they don't know the truth, they still can. But if they're not trying to, then they won't know how to protect you, without the truth. How can you avoid hurting someone when you don't know what causes them pain?"

"How can you trust someone with all the information that could destroy you?"

"Trust, Lex! You have to trust them. You have to know in your heart that they only want the best for you. That the information you give them will only ever be used to protect you… to keep you from harm… and never against you."

"How can you know all that? You can never know that they won't turn against you."

"It's a risk, Lex. Maybe one day you'll find something that's worth it. Bit if the risk's too big the prize obviously isn't worth it."

Clark and Lex avoided one another's eyes, knowing it was a reversal of the very conversation they'd had earlier.

There was a long pause.

"No: I haven't loved a guy before."

"So… it's always been just sex…do you fantasise about guys?" Clark asked with the same boldness the other questions had been voiced with.

"Clark!" Lex sounded quite amused.

Lex's mouth hung open. "I'm turning it off!" he said snapping out of his daze and making a beeline for the tape player.

Clark jumped off the table and got between Lex and the tape player "no, no ,no! I wanna know!" he grinned, holding Lex back.

"You pervert!" Lex slapped Clark's arm playfully and continued towards the tape player, Clark still trying to stop him.

"What?" Tape-Clark seemed less embarrassed

"You can't ask me that… you pervert!" Lex added less seriously.

"Sorry." Clark echoed, then after a short pause "but…do you?"

"How do I get you to shut up?"

"Well, you could answer the question…?"

Clark was now standing behind Lex with his arms wrapped tightly around him… Lex had stopped trying to escape Clark's restrictive embrace and turn the tape off, having discovered that it was futile when Clark didn't want him to. Lex was, however, torn between telling Clark he'd won and could let go now, since this was undignified, and struggling some more so Clark would keep his arms around him. He reluctantly chose the former. Lex went back to his perch on the table, whilst Clark maintained his post between Lex and the player, grinning triumphantly.

"Any other options?"

"You could kick me out?"

"At this time of night? Your parents would kill me… got anything else?"

"Not anything that my parents wouldn't kill you for… but they wouldn't have to know."

Lex raised his eyebrows and grinned broadly at Clark; he was thoroughly enjoying Tape-Clark's brash forwardness. He found it vastly entertaining. He mouthed 'slut!' at Clark and Clark only nodded, looking half disapprovingly and half enviously at the tape player.

"Yes, I have fantasised about guys." Lex said after quite a long pause.

"Have you fantasised about me?" Clark asked a little more tentatively.

Both men were staring wide-eyed at the tape player and Lex began to walk towards it again.

"So, to shut you up I either have to answer your questions or…?"

"Put your-"

Lex slammed his hand down on the stop button just in time: before tape-Clark could finish his answer.

The silence that followed was oppressive, and yet so thought filled that the discomfort was pushed aside.

"umm," Clark started "was that all true?"

"I'm more concerned with how this tape came into existence and who made it…"

"No you're just avoiding the question- you have that in common with your tape-self, if nothing else- I know you want to know as badly as I do if it's all true… so in the spirit of honesty... everything about me was."

"Clark, whoever made this tape knows everything about us. Everything! From conversations we had two hours ago, to our innermost thoughts that we've told nobody. It even has things on it that we said while it was playing!"

Clark stared incredulously at Lex: he was avoiding the issue again and Clark couldn't believe it. Lex put a hand out towards Clark as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Yeah, Clark, it was all true. And it didn't tell me your secrets, but if it had, I would have known it was the truth, since all it said about me was true. But that isn't how I want our secrets to be shared. I don't want to have to trust you because someone made a tape to tell us everything about one another. I want a choice, so you know, when I tell you things, that I want you to know: that I trust you. That I know you're worth the risk."

Sorry it was kinda rushed and not so well written as other chapters, but tell me what ya think anyways...

Please review!