The Trouble with a House Full of Ninjas
written by: the Shrine of Ice and Fire
July, 2004
It was a warm afternoon, the kind of afternoon where the air was much too warm and sticky to be comfortable indoors. While all of the guests and residents of Aoiya sauntered around, sticky with sweat and lounging with lethargy, Shinomori Aoshi sat with Okina in their usual spot on the front porch and calmly shared a pot of hot green tea.
Ever since the night of the letters, Okina had worn that knowing smirk in his face. And were Aoshi less inclined to keep his composure, he would have asked about it.
But he was sure that Okina's smirk was a ploy. He understood perfectly that Okina only smirked because it used to drive Aoshi mad when he was younger. And Aoshi understood perfectly well that Okina was trying to get under his skin.
He did not like this one bit.
Jiya sipped his tea and his eyes seemed to dare Aoshi to ask him the question that had been burning in Aoshi's mind. How much does he know about the letters?
However, Aoshi was not the type of man to bend to anyone else's will. So he simply stared at the old man's face intently. Aoshi was certain that somewhere in those time-worn, weathered wrinkles was an answer to his question. He would beat this old man Jiya at his own game.
Unbeknownst to him, his eyes narrowed just a little bit and that was just enough to allow Okina to know that the smirking had bothered him.
And just like the past two days, the afternoon passed by in a strained silence. Aoshi stared and Okina smirked, holding each other at stalemate. Neither of them was willing to back down. The tension that lingered between them proved to be short after all.
As Aoshi lifted the cup to finish off his cup of tea, he heard a pair of thundering footsteps approach. It came with such speed that he did not even have time to set his tea down before something rushed past him in a dizzying flash of colored silk.
Aoshi whipped his head up and stared in awe at the woman in front of him.
Her skin glowed with perspiration while her entire body stood tense and rigid as if some barely-restrained energy was about to erupt from her slim form.
For a moment, Aoshi swore that she looked like Koneko did when she was
ready to pounce on a mouse.
Oh he pitied the poor bastard who caused her wrath, for Takani Megumi literally crackled with fury as she stood in the main parlor.
"Okina!" She called, like a vengeance-seeking warrior. "You send me this without even a word of explanation! Just your name! What is the meaning of this?"
She thrust her hands into Jiya's face and within her clenched fists was a length of fine black silk.
Aoshi's discerning eyes saw right away that this was not just an ordinary piece of cloth.
Embroidered in the corner of the silk was an intricate design of a tortoise and an ornate medicine wheel.
Aoshi shifted his disbelieving eyes over to the fuming young woman before him, holding the long-lost Takani family crest.
(ChiisaiLammy)
He shifted his gaze a moment later as the favorite phrase of an American merchant acquaintance ran through his mind. "Oh shit....."
He glanced now to Okina who seemed far more amused than any old man had a right to be--- and still expect to live.
Steeling himself, Aoshi stood and faced the enraged doctor. Instinctively he reached out and placed his steady hand upon her shaking one. "Takani-san come inside a moment—"
"No! Not until I have an explanation!" she snapped, skewering Okina with another harsh look.
The old ninja stood, even more pleased with himself, Aoshi was quick to note. "Aoshi is the one to explain, " he said with a grin before slipping away.
Kami, she is the most beautiful creature, Aoshi's traitorous heart noted even as the enraged doctor turned her wrath on him...
(BarbaraSheridan)
"Well!?" she growled, her eyes burning through him. With hands on her slender hips and dark eyes narrowed, she cornered him with the fury of a charging bull.
Part of him was amused that the slender slip of a woman doctor was trying to intimidate him, the former cutthroat Okashira of the infamous Oniwabanshuu.
The other part of him was scared as hell.
Hell might have no fury like a woman scorned, but no one had as much fury as an angry, confused Megumi.
There was no way out. He had to get around her to go anywhere, so there was no way to run away without looking like he was...well, running away. And he was willing to bet that with the angry adrenaline Megumi was running on, she would catch him before he reached the end of the street.
But before he could plan any course of action, the beautiful doctor pinned him in place with such a malevolent glare that it rivaled the Hitokiri Battousai's death glare.
"What in the seven hells were you doing? What the hell does this mean?" the usually eloquent, imperturbable Megumi lashed out at him, pointing to the symbol on the ebony silk with a trembling hand. "Start talking! Explain yourself, now!"
Aoshi sighed in resignation and made a decision to install locks in his office from now on.
"This is Okina's work. You know about his penchant for stirring up trouble when he's bored. He mentioned something about black silk a few days ago, and I have reason to suspect that he read the love letters that you left behind..." he trailed off when Megumi suddenly stared, wide-eyed, at him. Faintly, he wondered if he was imagining the pink hue spreading across her face.
"How do you know about the content of those letters?" she asked too sweetly, with a dangerous edge to her honeyed voice. She looked at him through thick, fringed lashes, and this time, Aoshi knew that he wasn't imagining the reddish, furious glow that tinged her dark eyes.
Fortunately for him, Misao recovered conciousness at that very moment, and promptly screamed.
Never had Aoshi appreciated Misao's lung power more than at that moment. Thanking the gods above, he sprinted around Megumi, towards the entrance and to Misao's room, followed closely by an enraged, confused Megumi.
But when he reached the room, he was utterly mystified.
Misao was sobbing over some of the mysterious feminine items from the lost-and-found box Okina had given him. When she saw him silhouetted in the doorway, she glared angrily at him with watery eyes.
"I found these in your office...how could you hide this from me?!" And she burst into another round of tears.
Both Megumi and Okina appeared behind him a moment later, staring at the strange scene. Megumi's mouth fell open uncharacteristically, and Okina's eyes bugged out unnaturally. Then two more pairs of eyes glared at him.
Oh yes. He was definitely going to lock his office from now on.
(Trupana)
"Misao...I fail to understand why you are upset..." Aoshi began.
"UPSET?? Fail to...why you...wibduck...flangin..." She was so upset she started sputtering nonsense.
Megumi made a tsking sound. "That is something I would expect from Okina..."
"What??" Okina exclaimed in what sounded like fake surprise, turning wide eyes to the doctor. Then he glared at Aoshi. "He's the one who upset Misao-"
"How could you???!!!!" Misao wailed.
"Aoshi, how could you do such a thing?!" Okina scolded.
"And trying to deny everything, too!!!" Misao sniffed, before going into a huge crying session.
Okina shook his head. "You should be ashamed of yourself for-"
More Misao crying. Aoshi could feel a headache coming on.
"So how could you...have you..." Misao broke into tears again.
"Misao, why are you acting this-?" Aoshi asked quietly.
Confusion must have appeared on his face, because Megumi shot him an odd look. "Do you even understand what is going on...?"
"Obviously not," Aoshi responded coolly.
Megumi sighed and moved towards Misao, gingerly picking up a small pink item made of delicate fabric. "This...and those..." she pointed to some of the items next to Misao, "were gifts to Kaoru from me for her wedding." She smiled mischieviously. "They're Western undergarments."
Okina dropped straight to the floor. And began to twitch. "Those were...Kaoru...her..."
Megumi's eyes narrowed. "You didn't think they were mine, did you?" At Okina's lack of response, she focused on the tall man again. "So what were you doing with Kaoru's undergarments, Aoshi?" Megumi asked sweetly. "And while you're explaining that, how about explaining the letters, as well...?"
"Aoshi's become a perverted-" Misao began to wail before sniffing again. "And I thought he'd never..."
Aoshi's eyes widened just a fraction. "I am not-"
Okina shot back up and shook his head. "Focusing on work and having no romance can do that to a man...causing him to find relief with other methods..."
"Those were in the box you gave me...the belongings they left behind," Aoshi pointed out, cursing Okina's penchant for troublemaking. "I didn't even know what those were to begin with!"
"Again, lack of romance can-"
"Quiet, old man," Aoshi interrupted.
"Aoshi-sama!" Shiro called from some place far far away. "Customer needs your assistance!"
Slightly grateful for the interruption, but knowing that he had to resolve these strange issues later, he made his way in the direction of Shiro's voice.
To find Shiro and Okon standing with...a very...slender...and feminine... looking man. At least he thought he was a man. "Hello," came the customer's fairly high voice.
Aoshi nodded in greeting. "Can I help you?"
"Why yes. So you're the man who can make women's silk clothing?"
Aoshi blinked. "I..." Then he noticed Okon look away. His eyes narrowed a fraction. "Excuse me for a minute."
"Oh, of course," the man fluttered his hand. "You must be so busy with orders all the time."
Aoshi immediately snatched Okon's arm and led her through a doorway so they'd be out of earshot. "Do you know something about this?"
Okon cleared her throat. "Well...Okina had mentioned that you were getting...restless...and that you were looking into developing new hobbies...with that item sent to Takani-san, naturally you'd expand from that to clothing...But women's clothing?"
"What gave you the idea that I wanted to create women's clothing?" Aoshi frowned.
But she continued, "I suppose there's nothing wrong with you making women's clothing...but it is a little unusual..."
(CherieDee)
True, he had mentioned expanding business. But to go from innkeeper (assistant innkeeper) to connoisseur and manufacturer of women's clothing was ridiculous. It mortified him to think that the reason for all the cold shoulders and embarrassed looks of late had to do with items of clothing wholly unfamiliar to him. And of such a personal nature... by the way Okon was raising her eyebrow, he had a feeling it would take a lot more than a simple explanation to convince the Aoiya that Okina was the unwitting (or deliberate) instigator of it all.
He felt warning bells go off in his head as a peal of laughter rang out from the other room. "This will have to wait -- but this ends here. I do not have any intentions of entering the garment business for private or personal reasons. As for the rest--"
The woman's voice was literally cooing. Aoshi groaned inwardly as he considered that poor Shiro had been left behind with the very effeminate customer and now apparently Megumi Takani. Knowing Shiro, the man would need to be rescued.
Aoshi shot Okon a quick look and nodded in the general direction of Misao's room. "Okina and Misao can explain it -- I ought to tend to this 'customer.'" Before that woman did something to make the situation worse.
He entered the room again, only to catch Megumi with a length of black silk held up against her body in a provocative fashion. "It's a fine piece of work isn't it?"
Poor Shiro stared wide-eyed and silent in his agreement, while the other nodded most vigorously. "Excellent, excellent--" the customer cooed. "Fine stitching. I do pray that you'll reveal to me who your embroiderer is. It is so hard to find traditional seamstresses these days who do things the old way. I mean with all the new fashions--"
Aoshi cleared his throat, and nodded at Shiro -- who gratefully took the opportunity to escape.
"Nooooo," Takahata-san looked Aoshi up and down as if he were a leper. "Obviously not the person I'm looking for."
"Obviously not," Megumi smirked slightly. "But if you do come back for tea the day after tomorrow, I'll have an answer for you, most definitely."
"Ta ta, then!" Takahata-san blew Megumi a kiss and waved at Aoshi before literally skipping out the door.
Aoshi's relief at the man's disappearance was replaced by dread as the words suddenly became much clearer."He'll be back?"
"He'll be back?" Megumi mimicked his question with a laugh. "Of course he will. And I'm going to drag out the truth regarding this infernal crest and stitching on this piece of very expensive silk from Okina while also exacting my revenge."
He felt suddenly uneasy.. It occurred to him that of all the insane people in this building, that only one person who believed his innocence in this entire affair had an almost feral expression on her face.
"And you're going to help me," she sashayed over to him and placed her hand on the front of his chest. "He'll confess it all -- the undergarments and his plotting and scheming and perhaps much more once we're done with our little game."
He frowned slightly. "You mean to blackmail him?"
"No," her eyes danced with glee. "Extortion. I'll attach myself to you so devotedly and ferociously that the man will have to reveal it all in order to save your skin, Shinomori. From this moment, he'll see how dangerous romance can be."
He raised his eyebrow. Dangerous? What did the woman mean by that?
"Takani-san, Takani-san!" Okina's voice could be heard coming down the hall. "Where did you run off to, my lovely?"
Before Aoshi could understand what was happening, Megumi had pulled him down for a kiss.
(LongwindedGirl)
Shrine notes: hope you enjoyed this!