Journey of the Heart: Chapter 1 - Vanished
DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha and his companions are not mine to own.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: (2-20-05) I reposted this first chapter to fix some minor grammatical errors. Sorry to anyone who got excited thinking there was a new chapter, but I should have an update soon!
-ooo-ooo-ooo-
The group had been walking for the greater part of the morning without a break. Kagome was once again repositioning her heavy backpack. Her shoulder and back muscles were aching from its constant weight.
She looked sadly at the crimson-clad man walking ahead of her. 'All the strength of a hanyou, and he hasn't once offered to carry this for me.' She switched the bag to her left arm in hopes of providing some momentary relief to her right. 'It wouldn't even be this heavy if I didn't always pack so much of the ramen he loves.'
She released an audible sigh that did not go unnoticed by the hanyou's sharp hearing.
"What's your problem, Kagome?" he asked roughly.
"Huh?" Kagome responded, too surprised to be angry.
"You have been fidgeting and sighing all morning." He stopped and turned to face the girl whose cheeks were turning a shade of red just lighter than his haori.
"Oh dear," Miroku and Sango said in unison as they left the trail to take comfortable positions in the grass. They were used to their travel companions' fights, and this would probably be their only break today, so they knew they should use it to its fullest.
"There they go again," Shippo said, bouncing off to the bag Kagome had dropped to scour for candy.
"How dare you, Inuyasha? We don't all have super strength. I'm doing the best I can on my own since you don't seem interested in helping anyone but yourself!" Kagome shouted.
"I wish I didn't have to help anyone else, but NOOOOO, it's always," he adopted a whiney feminine voice meant to imitate Kagome's, "'Oh Inuyasha, let's help these poor villagers' or 'Oh Inuyasha, lets go slay that youkai that doesn't have a shard just because it is the right thing to do.'
"How are we ever supposed to finish the jewel with you constantly having us protect everyone we run across!" he finished angrily.
"Well, excuse me for caring about people," she yelled back with all the sarcasm she could muster.
"You can be such an ice priestess sometimes!" he shot back unwisely.
"SIT!"
Inuyasha was violently pulled to the ground by the power of the subduing spell. Kagome bit her bottom lip, and tried not to let her emotions overwhelm her as her mind repeated his last words-'ice priestess?'
She felt a chill run over her body. 'Was he really talking about me just then, or was he thinking of Kikyo again? Even when we are fighting I can't tell who is really on his mind.'
She chanced a glance over to her other friends to see if they had noticed anything unusual at his words, but they seemed content to prepare food. They had learned long ago to make the best out of Kagome and Inuyasha's routine fights.
When she looked back to where the flattened hanyou had been she saw he was now on his feet, and looking a little…regretful? However, he was still far from being apologetic.
"Since you obviously can't handle carrying your own stuff, I'll do it just to keep us moving along," he was projecting anger in his voice so his offer wouldn't seem like a concession.
Kagome's disposition brightened slightly at his words. She knew this was just his twisted way of offering kindness. However, when Inuyasha saw her features relax, he threw in, "I will be glad when this mission is over." He then walked over to Shippo, grabbing the freshly boiled ramen from his tiny hand.
Kagome stood still. She did not want to rejoin the group until she was sure she could do so without crying. She breathed deeply to calm herself and was oblivious to the fight that had broken out between Inuyasha and Shippo over the ramen.
Their fight was still troubling her thoughts. 'Why do we have to go through this so often? I know he cares for me, so why can't he show me instead of pushing me away all the time?
'Does he not see that it hurts me, or does he really just not care? How much longer can I hang onto the hope that someday things are going to be different between us? How much longer should I?' She sighed bitterly, 'There are always more questions between us than answers.'
Slowly, she rallied herself in an effort to join her friends when a familiar sensation ran through her body. It was like a warm glow that started in the center of her chest and spread throughout her body, making her skin tingle. It was much like the feeling one would get when blood circulates again after your arm has gone numb; except this wasn't painful.
"Shards!" she proclaimed loudly enough to get her teammates' attention. "Two of them, coming fast." Realization as to whom was carrying the shards dawned on Kagome just before she felt her hand being embraced by two enthusiastic youkai hands.
"Kagome, I sensed you were near. Have you been well, my woman?"
Before Kagome had the opportunity to form a response to the tall dark haired man before her, she was abruptly pulled away by an angry hanyou. Only this time, his anger was directed at the wolf youkai, and not her.
"DON'T TOUCH KAGOME!" he yelled ferociously.
"Inuyasha, it…" Kagome attempted to stop him, but was cut off as Inuyasha began posturing for Kouga.
"She doesn't want you here any more than I do, Wimpy Wolf!"
"Maybe you should let her decide that, Mutt!"
"Well, I…" Kagome tried again, but was still ignored by the two men as they continued bickering. 'If they are fighting over me, shouldn't at least one of them care what I have to say?' she thought with indignation.
She backed away, and watched the production unfold. It was all, "wimpy wolf this and dog breath that," and Kagome had suffered through quite enough of it. Both men had proven they could be sweet when they wanted to be, but most of the time this was what she had to deal with, and enough was enough.
"STOP IT!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
Both men turned to face her. "Kagome, my love, is something wrong?" Kouga asked with genuine sincerity.
"Don't call her that, Wolf!"
"Mind your own business, Mutt Brains!"
"STOP! This is what's wrong! Neither of you care about me! You just want an excuse to act macho and show off in front of others. Well, I don't care anymore, but stop using me as an excuse. I'm out of it!" She threw her hands in the air at her final words and stomped away from the shocked men.
'Neither of you care about me?' the words echoed painfully in Inuyasha's head as he watched her angrily walk away. 'How can she think that? I act like a fool over her most of the time, because I can't stop myself from caring about her.'
Kouga mirrored Inuyasha's hurt expression. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so low and worthless. He debated following her, but then he noticed Inuyasha was already tracking the girl.
Kouga wanted to speed over to her first but stopped himself as he realized it would only lead to more fighting in front of her, and that was the last thing anyone needed right now. He hung his head sadly, and decided to leave for the time being to give her some space.
-ooo-ooo-ooo-
Kagome retreated deep into the forest, hoping Inuyasha would stop following her eventually. Her heavy heart was weighing her down, and she could go no further. She sank to her knees in the thick green grass, and buried her head in her hands. Tears streamed down her pale face as she attempted to stifle the sniffling noises that accompanied them.
She didn't want Inuyasha to know she was crying. Considering the events of the past hour, he would certainly just see this as a weakness, and she was tired of appearing weak to him.
But her attempts were in vain, and soon she felt a strong hand cupping the top of her shoulder near her neck. She shuddered at its presence at first but then calmed as it remained there.
She wanted more than anything to melt into him-to let all her worries and concerns about their relationship just fade away. It would be so easy. She could just close her eyes, and believe the lie her mind wanted so badly to believe.
He would be with her forever, and cherish her more than anything-more than the dead priestess, more than the shards, more than his own strength. But she knew she couldn't go through life with her eyes closed.
"I'm tired Inuyasha," she said through the sobs.
"We can take a break, and then I'll carry you," he replied softly.
"No, that's not what I mean. I'm tired of everything. This isn't the first time we've had this fight. I can't keep going through this." Her voice was filled with sorrow, but her words were determined.
"Ka…gome?" Inuyasha struggled to finish her name as he carefully watched her with dread in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Inuyasha," she removed his hand and stood up, "but this is the way it has to be. Something has to change, and I guess it is going to be me."
Inuyasha's chest constricted painfully as he watched her walk away. He had always feared she would one day realize she was too good for him. He feared it so vehemently that he had actually caused it. In order to soften the blow to his ego he had pushed her away. And the reality of her rejection was a hardship more terrible than anything Sesshoumaru, Naraku, or a thousand youkai would have been able to throw at him.
Still, as he watched her figure grow smaller in the distance he pulled himself from the forest floor and followed her. No matter what else happened, he would not allow harm to come to the one he loved.
-ooo-ooo-ooo-
"They have been gone a long time," Shippo said nervously between bites of pilfered chocolate.
"I wonder what happened this time," Sango pondered aloud.
"I'm sure everything will be fine. It had been almost a full day; they were due for another altercation," Miroku responded reassuringly. And then to further distract Sango's troubled thoughts, he brazenly extended his un-cursed hand behind her.
He received a blow to the back of his head for his concern-or at least for the way he had chosen to show his concern.
"Here comes Kagome!" Shippo shouted while jumping up and down. "Kagome! Are you all right? Did that jerk, Inuyasha, say something stupid?" She reached down to the small fox child and picked him up. "Want me to bite him for you?" he asked hopefully.
Kagome couldn't help but smile at his protective nature. "No, Shippo. I'm okay. I think I need to return home for a little while though." Her smile was short-lived, and the perceptive youth quickly noticed the sparkle had gone out of her eyes.
Shippo's eyes grew wide in fright. "You aren't going to leave us forever are you, Kagome!"
She placed a reassuring hand on his small head. "No, Shippo. I promise I won't leave you. Okay?"
His misty eyes looked up at her, hoping she was telling the truth. He had tried to be strong after the death of his father, but the truth was he didn't know if he could bear losing Kagome too. She was the stability in his chaotic life.
He leaned into her, and tiny arms wrapped around her as best they could for a hug. Kagome returned his affections and blinked back the tears that had been threatening to escape since she left Inuyasha in the forest.
Kagome was sure Inuyasha had not been all that far behind her, and she didn't want to speak to him again so soon. "Sango, may I take Kirara to the well?"
"Of course, Kagome. Is there anything else I can do for you?" Concern was evident in the demon slayer's features.
"No. Thank you. I'll see you all in about a week." She saw her response had done little to alleviate her friend's worry so she attempted a smile, but it was clearly forced. "I promise I will be just fine."
Kagome walked toward the fire cat, who would fly her to the well, when a burst of light flooded the area, stinging her eyes.
It was immediately followed by a flash of heat and concussive force. She found herself skidding along the ground. Rocks and twigs were biting at her uncovered legs. The wind had been knocked out of her, and it took a moment before she could push herself back up. 'Note to self: pack jeans in the future.'
By this time, Inuyasha had joined the fray, and was staring down an odd looking female youkai. She had a beautiful face with flowing purple hair and coal black eyes, but her body was that of a giant spider.
Kagome looked around to see how her other friends had faired against the assault. Miroku was sprawled out on the ground with Sango leaning over him. Shippo was hiding behind her backpack near them. 'Miroku must have gotten hit by a blast. I hope he is all right! Sango looks concerned but not panicked which is a good sign.'
"I can smell Naraku on you! You are one of his detachments!" Inuyasha shouted, lifting the activated Tetsusaiga above his head. He brought it down with crushing force, unleashing the Kaza no Kizu.
The spider moved with uncanny ability for something so large. "Perceptive for a hanyou. I am the detachment that will prevent you from finding the final shards." The spider's mouth opened wide, and a blinding ball of light appeared. She shot it toward Inuyasha, but he was able to slice it with the Tetsusaiga.
"You'll have to do a lot better than that!" Inuyasha mocked.
"Very well." The half-spider began to emit some type of pulse. It vibrated the very earth upon which they stood and was tangible in the air. It seemed to create an exaggerated sense of vertigo which made everyone too disoriented to attack. As the group struggled to regain their bearings against the onslaught, a vortex opened just behind Kagome.
"NO!" She desperately sought to grab on to something that would keep her grounded, but the vortex was spinning madly and drawing her in.
Inuyasha was still overcome by the effects of the vertigo, but he fought to make it to her side. "Kagome, hang on, I'm coming!" He felt nauseated, and his muscles burned within his legs, but he was not going to let her down-not this time!
"Inuyasha!" she screamed while sliding ever closer to the portal.
"I'll save you Kagome!" This time the voice came not from Inuyasha or her other friends but from Kouga. His powerful feet pounded at the earth, speeding him to his destination. He made it to her side before she was engulfed, but when he grabbed her, instead of being able to pull her out, he disappeared into the swirling light along with her.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Inuyasha bellowed as he reached the spot they had vanished, moments too late. The vortex, Kouga, and Kagome were all gone.
-ooo-ooo-ooo-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, I hope you liked this first chapter. This will be a Kouga/Kagome pairing. I have nothing against Inuyasha, but I always feel so bad for Kouga in the show that I think he should be able to get the girl in my world at least.
If you like this fic, check out Crossing the Line. It is my Rurouni Kenshin story with a Sano/Kaoru pairing.
Please review!