The Trouble with a House Full of Ninjas
by: the Shrine of Ice and Fire
August 2004

There were times he admired his skill. As soon as he felt another presence during Megumi's tirade, he had switched places, nearly convincing Megumi that the person was him. He hadn't expected Aoshi to follow Megumi. He stroked Koneko behind her ears thoughtfully.

Which meant what?

He chuckled as a thought occurred to him. As much as he would enjoy seeing what strange thoughts Megumi had about Aoshi…it'd probably be more fun to see both of them together. Who knows how they'd deal with what he had planned.

"That woman can talk all she wants. But we know better, she's sailing The Nile, kitty," Takahata announced, laughing at his own joke. "Let's see what'll happen if we…"

Aoshi waited until Megumi ran out of breath in her laughter. He didn't know what else to do. She seemed so confused, upset, furious, violent ­ all at once.

"This is insane," Megumi declared. "All of this. Pink clouds, pink light…stupid pink butterflies…" She swatted two away.

"Are you all right?" Aoshi asked.

"I'm fine." Megumi began to walk away.

In what direction…and to what specifically, he wasn't sure. Everything looked the same to him. Pink. He stayed a distance away from her, walking behind her. She obviously didn't seem to care if he was behind her or not. She apparently was distracted.
He blinked hard for a moment. If he wasn't mistaken, he could have sworn he just saw two pink bear cubs dancing on clouds. Maybe he ate something bad.

But that wouldn't make sense. He just ran out of the Aoiya, determined to follow Megumi before jumping into some bright light.

The mist…when did that get there?…parted to reveal a pink castle with a tall tower and wide, stained-glass windows. And standing at the front…Aoshi blinked again. A woman with flowing hair stood at the front, dressed in a pink outfit of puffy sleeves and a short skirt, a white apron wrapped around her waist. She waved enthusiastically.

Megumi was right. This was insane. Where were they?

"Hello!" the woman greeted. "Welcome to the Pink Fantasy Inn!"

Pink Fantasy…? Aoshi struggled to keep his expression neutral. The body was female, but the voice…

"Takahata!" Megumi exclaimed. "What do you think you're
doing?!"

"You fired me, sweet-ums," he cooed. "So I had to find another job."

"At the Pink Fantasy Inn??"

This was Takahata? Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he knew that the person was a man, but he didn't think he'd be THIS feminine.

"Come in, please!" Takahata clapped his hands three times.

Instantly, Aoshi felt dizzy. The scenery changed, materializing into a large room with chairs made of plush material and a wide circular bed covered with white satin sheets. At the head of the bed were four, red heart-shaped pillows. Several vanilla scented candles lined the mahogany nightstands by the bed, filling the room in a soft, subtle, but intoxicating scent.

What the-?

Aoshi never got to finish his thought as the one called Takahata cleared his throat.

"So!"

Megumi stared at the other man with murder in her eyes. "Takahata, what are you-?"

"Well, I hope you enjoy your stay."

"Wait…we never agreed to stay-" Megumi protested.

"You seem stressed, sweet-ums. You could use some rest. Or something else," Takahata laughed. Then he wiggled his fingers in a wave. "Use your imagination."

Aoshi closed his eyes briefly. What was going on? Everything was happening faster than any battle he'd ever...

"Toodles!" Takahata disappeared in a flash of pink.

And Aoshi blacked out.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding," Takahata exclaimed, stroking Koneko's back. "I thought he was made of stronger stuff than that!"

Koneko meowed in response.

"Hmm. But I'm sure he's got other fine…assets to make up for it. I think if I was a woman I could overlook him fainting whenever pink light flashed..."

He felt something soft and cool press against his forehead.

Then it was taken away.

It came again to his cheek. He felt his mouth move, but he wasn't sure if words came out.

What a day.

"Good to see that we haven't completely lost you, Aoshi Shinomori."

Megumi's voice.

It took several moments for him to open his eyes. Megumi was patting a cool cloth against his face, and he was lounging back on the strange bed. Relief filled him. She didn't hate him. She wouldn't do this if she did. Although he tried to ignore the little
voice inside of him that said she was just being a doctor, which was why she was tending to him.

His eyes shifted to the ceiling, and he groaned inwardly. What was with this…place? Pink clouds, pink dancing bears, mirrors above beds…what was the point of having a mirror above a bed?

-Cherie Dee

"Do you feel all right, Aoshi-san?"

The beautiful doctor's melodious voice drifted over Aoshi's senses. Mmm. The shadow man contented himself with lying back and enjoying the feel of the cold cloth against different parts of his face.

"Aoshi?"

He really did like the sound of her voice when she was being informal with his name. He could get used to it. Her face entered his line of vision, her eyebrows scrunched up in a scowl.

"Aoshi Shinomori. Do answer me when you see fit to do it."

Whoops. So he was enjoying things a little too much. "I…thank you."

The woman moved to lie beside him on the wholly impractical mattress, where their eyes met in the large mirror on the ceiling. "What now?" she asked.

"Perhaps you'd like to explain this Takahata-san you seem to know…"

She let out a breath. "I don't know. That man who wanted to purchase women's undergarments from you? And then the pink lights…and there were the robes…and now he's put us here—I just don't know what to think anymore. I thought he was on my side."

"I didn't realize there were sides to take. How did we get here?"

"I don't know!" she said, exasperated.

Perhaps he was hallucinating…or perhaps it was the candles that flickered in every reflective surface…or perhaps it was the heavy scent in the air…

…perhaps…well, in any case, he should…

…hmm. You know, he really did have a point to that train of thought…funny he couldn't think of it now…

He became aware of Megumi's form shifting on the bed and watched the mirror above as he saw and felt her chest press against his shoulder. Her lips were brushing his ear and he fought the reaction he was having at feeling her hot breath tease his earlobe. Christ Almighty.

With the lightest of whispers, her voice filled his thoughts, "I think the aromas in here are getting to me…are they getting to you?"

He fisted his hands at his sides. Good God, yes. He had but to turn his head and…

"It's frightening…do you think you could protect the both of us from something you don't understand?"

He had to keep his head. She needed him alert. She needed him. Alert.

She needed him. It had an intoxicating ring to it.

She leaned in closer and his eyes rolled back into his head in ecstasy when the tip of her tongue touched just inside the sensitive tissue in his ear. "I…I'm sorry for earlier, Aoshi. I really don't hate you."

WTF?? Megumi pounded on the clear floor beneath her. Dumb broad, get your hands off him!!! Who the hell was that woman—because it sure wasn't her!!

"Aoshi, you idiot."

The woman doctor found herself in this tiny, dark enclosure when Takahata-san had supposedly welcomed she and Aoshi into his inn. If not for the window into the room beneath her, she would have passed out from sheer fright.

But now…now that she sees some damn hussy who looks and sounds like her, cuddling awfully close to the man with the supposed heart of ice…it just really pissed her off.

"Shhhh…"

Aoshi's soft murmur echoed in the doctor's prison. She covered her ears. "Stop."

"I am the one who should apologize. I was unforgivably rude. I did not consider your feelings."

His voice surrounded her, warmed her and resounded within the enclosure. She couldn't stop even the faintest of whispers from being heard in her cell. Not even when she made all the noise she could to keep the voices away.

"Takahata, are you there?? This isn't funny!!!"

Megumi was sliding her hands down his chest and he almost made a sound from the tension there. Something wasn't right. He was breathing hard, but whether it was the lady doctor's doing, or the effort it took to not be undone, he wasn't sure. But he couldn't let things go any further.

"Megumi—"

She insisted on letting her hands roam. He grasped her wrists, twisted, and jerked them behind her back, forcing her facedown into the mattress.

"TAKAHATA!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS MY FANTASY!!!"

Suddenly, he was there beside her, smiling cheekily. "I know."

The floor beneath Meg became intangible(?), untouchable(!), insubstantial(!!!) and she fell…through the mirror, into the room and onto Aoshi's back.

"—OOOF!" the lady doctor found herself in a very undignified sprawl, her back to Aoshi's back.

The onmitsu turned his head to look at her and immediately looked at the woman beneath him and back again.

"But…how can there be two of you?"

-Leila Winters

Aoshi waited only for half a second for the woman who had landed on his back to remove herself before he leapt off the same woman who was lying beneath him. He backed off from the bed and from the two women who were now glaring very sharp, serrated-edged daggers at each other with the same colored eyes. He brought up one hand to scrub at his eyes. This was becoming too much even for him. As the
Oniwabanshuu Okashira and former Captain of Edo Castle, he had thought he had seen everything in life that could be seen…but pink lights, a man dressed in a pink skirt, pink dancing bears, a pink castle, and now two Megumis was enough to push him right to the edge of insanity. There couldn't possibly be two Megumis! He had investigated her when they had been in the employ of Kanryuu and he knew for a fact that Megumi Takani did not have a twin. He twisted the palm of his hand into his eyes again, but the scene before him didn't change. Maybe he was drugged...yes, that was it. Okina
probably put something into his tea as a joke...

He watched in shocked, unbridled amazement as Megumi no. 1 shifted her position on the bed to her hands and knees, her teeth bared at Megumi no. 2, who had dropped down into a crouch, poised to strike.

"Hands off! He's mine!" Megumi no. 2 declared vehemently as she launched herself at the bed. Megumi no. 1 hissed in response.

Aoshi's eyes swung to Megumi no. 1. That hiss sounded awfully familiar…

POP!

Takahata-san appeared in a flash of pink light. He was now sitting on the bed, next to Megumi no. 1, legs crossed demurely under a pink gingham dress. On his head was a big, floppy straw hat decorated with a huge plastic red rose. He reached out and stroked one hand down Megumi no. 1's soft, long black hair. "Now, now, children," he
purred. "Play nicely."

Aoshi's eyes widened further in astonishment as Megumi no. 1 transformed slowly into Koneko beneath Takahata-san petting hand. A cat??? He had been about to make love to a cat? He shook his head once to clear it. He had had enough of this nonsense. Okay, maybe this was a dream or a drug-induced nightmare, but it was time to
find out what the hell was going on. That very strange man/woman/being seemed to be at the heart of this, and that's where he would start. He would do what he did best: obtain the information he needed. It was time for some answers.

Aoshi reached out and grabbed Megumi's hand as it swung out to slap Takahata-san. She glared up at him but lowered her hand. She stepped back as Aoshi twisted one hand in Takahata's dress and slowly lifted him off the bed. She smiled ferally. "Yes, this is much better," she thought to herself as she watched Aoshi in open admiration. "Now,
we'll definitely find out what's going on."

Takahata-san squealed as he felt himself being lifted several inches off the floor. He wrapped one hand in desperation around Aoshi's arm. "Now, don't get your knickers in a knot, sweet cheeks, I'll explain everything!" Takahata exclaimed. Aoshi's eyes glinted
dangerously as he threw Takahata back on the bed, where he landed on Koneko. She howled in protest and ran for cover under the bed.

Aoshi crossed his arms across his chest and glared fiercely down at the pink being laying sprawled across the bed. "Talk," he demanded in a low growl. "Who are you? Where are we? What the hell is going on?"

Takahata-san sat up on the bed and began to straighten out his dress. After a moment, he took the big floppy hat off his head and began to fan himself with it. "I really thought that this would work this time, but you two are really tough," he half murmured to
himself as he gazed up at them. He began to stand up but found himself shoved back by Megumi. "I believe Aoshi-san told you to explain yourself," she stated icily.

"Okay, okay," Takahata agreed in a faltering voice. "Someone...hired me to bring you two together. I'm a fairy god queen-slash- matchmaker, you see. I help out when Cupid is overbooked."

"Who hired you?" Aoshi asked as he leaned over Takahata. "Was it Okina?"

"Well, yes and no…"

"What do you mean yes and no'?" Megumi demanded. "This is exactly the kind of thing he would pull."

"Well, I was actually recommended to Okina by another person," Takahata answered, "Okina hired me, but he paid the bill."

Aoshi grabbed the front of his dress again, his fury now rising to dangerous levels. "Who recommended you?"

Takahata reached down into the pocket of his dress and pulled out a picture. He stroked his fingers against it. "My own true love," he said sighing loudly. "Unfortunately, he belongs to another. Oh, well." He flipped the picture over so that they could both see it. "Isn't he a vision of loveliness? I made that pink gi for him, you know…"

"Kenshin!??!" Aoshi and Megumi cried as one.

-Amberle-chan

Two pairs of disbelieving eyes stared. And stared.
"Ken-san? Himura Kenshin?"
"The Hitokiri Battousai?"

"The one and only." Takahata beamed at them, and gave the picture another loving polish with his pink sleeve, "He's quite a surprise, that one. Did you know he was chosen to be Cupid's apprentice once, before he settled down? But that's another story. He's so clever when it comes to being a matchmaker, though. He came up with the
idea of setting two you up like this, don't ya know." He admired his reflection in the newly buffed picture and returned it carefully to his pocket, but not before giving it a playful wink and a kiss.

He looked back up at the two, eager to see their reaction.

Two pairs of angry, angry eyes glared. And glared.

Takahata gulped and adjusted the collar of the dress, which suddenly felt much too tight. Maybe bringing up Kenshin's part in this had been a bad idea.

He looked nervously at the way Megumi's trembling hands were gripping the bed sheets and wringing them tighter and tighter and /tighter/, as though it were someone's neck. Somehow, the muscle jumping in the jaw the gorgeous hunk of former okashira was not quite reassuring either, nor was the way his hands clenched around the handles of his long-unused kodachi.

They looked ready to kill the pretty redhead.

Or if not him, someone else who wore pink…and was sitting right in front of them.

"You...liar!"

Takahata squealed and scrambled under the bed as Megumi made a grab for him. Koneko meow'ed at him indignantly as he bumped into her in his haste. He quickly cuddled the kitty in his arms and prayed to every god he could think of that he would be spared from a horrible, painful death.

"I'm too young and much too beautiful to die!" Takahata wailed as a furious Megumi pulled at a foot that stuck out from under the bed.

"Get out from under there, Takahata-san, or so help me I'll use Aoshi's kodachis and stab you through the mattress!" Megumi's voice was muffled from where Takahata sobbed under the bed, but even Koneko recognized that the woman meant every word and would do it if she had to. Apparently, Megumi had forgotten that she was a healer…

"And then I'll sew you back together and stab you again!"

Then again, maybe not.

Takahata squealed louder and curled up into a ball, cringing as he waited for the silver blades to come hurling through the mattress. But the only thing that came was Aoshi's cool, measured voice.

"Megumi, I can't let you kill him…"

Takahata sighed with relief and thanked the gods for the gorgeous okashira's protecting presence. "That's right Megumi, listen to Aoshi-kun. You can't kill me."

"…not before I hurt him first."

"Deal." Megumi's honey-sweet voice held an obviously feral edge.

Before he could react, a pair of hands had pulled him out from under the bed and held him upside-down, dangling like a roast pig in a butcher store. He looked up to see a stone-faced Aoshi holding him by the ankles, and a fuming Megumi glaring at him.

Takahata shrieked. He shrieked louder than Misao.

"I didn't lie, I swear! Kenshin was the mastermind behind the entire thing—-okay, well, Okina suggested putting you two together in the first place, and I had some input too, and Okina came up with the idea of the mirrors, which I thought was a fabulous
idea, and I suggested the idea of an inn (pretty clever, don't you think?)—" the red-faced Takahata paused for breath, then continued on, Misao-style, "—but really, it's all /Kenshin's/ fault! I would never lie about this, I really wouldn't."

"Especially not to someone as gorgeous as you, sweet cheeks." Takahata added, winking at the somewhat put-off Aoshi, "Or someone as temperamental as you, sweet-ums." He jabbed a finger at Megumi with a charming smile, which Megumi returned with a glare and a frustrated growl.

"In fact, why don't I let him confirm this himself?" the fairy god queen added brightly as Megumi's foot headed for his head. Before her foot hit its target, Takahata gave a cheeky snap, and the two disappeared into thin air in a flurry of pink sparkles.

Takahata dropped head-first onto the floor, a squalling Koneko in his arms.

"Orororo…" Takahata rubbed the bump on his head and shook off the mini-Kenshins that macarena'd in a circle around his head. He stood up unsteadily, and bumped into to a mirrored wall.

"Well Koneko, that was a close call. Kenshin-kun will deal with them for now. But they won't get rid of me so easily…I'm not done with them yet." He beamed at his reflection with a lopsided, mischievous smile.

Koneko rolled her eyes as Takahata placed her on his shoulder and clicked his heels three times. As they disappeared on their merry way to Tokyo, Koneko could only think of how Takahata- san had ruined her fun with Aoshi. Hmph.

Well, she'd get back at that pretty fairy-man someday.

And that damn little hussy too.

Ooof.

They fell onto a floor.

Aoshi's eyes opened blurrily, and something that looked like a room with four unmirrored walls, a small desk, and a tatami covered-floor floated into his hazy vision. He had dropped onto something soft, which must be the bed. But where was Megumi?

"Aoshi?" Megumi's sweet voice drifted to him from somewhere in the fog. He squinted, trying to place the direction of the voice. "Yes?"

"Get off of me!" she hissed. His vision, hearing, and other miscellaneous onmitsu senses came roaring back to him, and he quickly realized that he was lying on top of an irritated and breathless Megumi in one of the most uncomfortable situations he had
ever been in.

Okay, so his head was resting rather comfortably on her soft chest, and the feeling of her body molded against his was rather pleasant, and her breathy, alluring voice floating to his ear was rather…enticing…

"Oro?!?!"

Aoshi jumped off Megumi faster than he had ever moved in his life. But it wasn't fast enough to avoid the detection of the former Battousai.

Kenshin, resplendent in his pink —ahem, magenta— gi, stood in the doorway, looking adorably confused and thoroughly red-faced at the two people in the rather …ahem.. .interesting situation. He cocked his head to one side; he thought that they were in Kyoto, and he would have known if they had arrived in Tokyo for a visit. How
did they get here, and more specifically, in here, without him noticing?

And why in the world did they look like they wanted to kill him?

-Trupana

Two weeks earlier...

I still remember, dearest, that one fervid, blissful night we shared beneath the stars. How could I forget? It is all I can think of sometimes, lying awake and alone in bed and
longing for your warmth. I still dream of your twilit eyes on mine, still smell the thick
heat of your hair. In my fingertips still tingle the satin of your skin; in the darkness I close my eyes and trace with kisses the scar across your cheek.

Kenshin dropped the paper as though it had scalded him. Hot blood filled his face. A
sudden sound made him tense and whirl, but it was only the flurry of feathers as birds
took flight outside the window. He was alone in the bedroom still.

Cringing at his own tension, he forced himself to turn back toward the fallen paper and pick it up--tentatively, reluctantly, as though the very act of holding it would poison him.

It was Megumi's handwriting--of that he was certain. He had known it the moment he had seen it; he wouldn't have needed a signature even if there had been one. But what she had written... He felt his cheeks flame again. He wasn't sure whether it was with embarrassment for having read such an intimate message, or shame for having invaded something so private as a woman's fantasies--which had to be fantasies, not that they were about him, because he and Megumi had certainly never... they had never...

Kenshin gulped and quickly folded the letter back into its accustomed creases, then stuffed it into the stack of documents from which it had come. For a moment he sat there tensely, eyeing the otherwise innocent pile of papers.

Then he hastily shuffled through the pile again until he had recovered the letter, and stuffed it into his gi. He would burn it. That's what he would do. Oh, but Megumi needed it back. Damn! He would have to give it back. He would--

"Ken-shiiin? Doko?"

Kaoru! The single name shot through Kenshin with an emotion very like fear. Kenshin gave the letter one last push into his inner pocket just in time to turn a blindingly cheery smile on Kaoru, who had come into the doorway.

"Oh there you are," clucked Kaoru lovingly, drawing nearer to her fiance, who--she realized somewhat belatedly--was very red in the face and perspiring heavily. She frowned and stepped back. "Mou, Kenshin! If you've been working so hard, why is here
still such a mess? You haven't even unpacked yet!"

She gestured broadly to indicate the papers, clothing, and half-full baggage that was still
scattered about the floor of his room.

"S-Sumanai, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin stammered with his best clueless-rurouni look, scratching the back of his head and smiling sheepishly. "The summer days are just getting a bit hotter, that's all."

"Well, you should come to tea anyhow. I made some mochi just for you."

And Kenshin, gazing lovestruck upon his prettily blushing fiancee, almost forgot his
distress.

"This unworthy one must not keep them waiting, then," he murmured, as Kaoru upturned her face to his...

"Kenshin-kun!" A strangely high-pitched voice split the air, seeming to come from the
back gate. "Yoohoo! I know you're in there, come out come out!"

"Mou!" muttered Kaoru, her lips a scant inch from Kenshin's. "Can't we just ignore him...
her... whoever?" she said longingly, tugging at Kenshin's sleeve as he glanced distractedly in the direction of the gate.

"I'm afraid not, koishii," he murmured regretfully, nuzzling her ear until she shivered. "This... man... is an old friend, and hates to be kept waiting."

"Ah, I knew you were home!" chirped Takahata triumphantly as Kenshin strode across
the yard. "How have you been, lovey?" he crooned more softly as Kenshin came
reluctantly nearer.

"Fine, thanks," said Kenshin, smiling his innocent rurouni smile again and trying not to
seem obvious as he dodged the fairy queen's attempts to grab hold of him. "And, er,
you?"

"Beautiful as ever," sighed the fairy, fluttering his lashes at Kenshin, who studiously
glanced away. "Just stopping by on my merry way to Kyoto, where I haven't gone
sightseeing in too long, you know," and he punctuated his sentence with a wink that set
Kenshin's teeth on edge. "Oh, by the way, I met some messenger on the way here and I absolutely insisted that I bring this package to you instead of him. My good deed for the day, you know."

And he presented a neatly wrapped box to Kenshin, who--for the first time in what
seemed like hours--found himself with a genuine smile.

"Ah, from Okina-dono. Must be the things we left behind in Kyoto last week."

"Open it, open it," urged Takahata loudly, even as his long, slender, elegantly anicured
hands (for as a fairy queen, of course, he could time-travel even for such frivolities as
nail polish) swiftly crawled over the box.

Remembering at that moment just how nosy his former colleague and coworker could
be, Kenshin found it hard to keep the innocent-rurouni smile on his face as he suddenly
found himself in a losing battle to keep the box shut. Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu godlike
speed was fine and dandy, but Takahata was still a god, after all.

And so, a split second later, Kenshin dropped the box--spilling its contents all over the
ground in a rich spill of black, shimmering silk.

Kenshin gaped in horror at the small, dainty garment lying amid the grass, and at the
unmistakable crest embroidered richly on its bosom.

"Kenshin?" The affectionate tones lilted through the air from inside the house. "Is
everything okay?"

Frantically Kenshin glanced from the fallen garment to the half-open room from where
Kaoru was calling. "Everything's fine, Kaoru-dono!" he called, stooping to retrieve the
dainty black slip. Then, as though realizing just what he held in his hands, he dropped it
hastily back into its box.

"My, my, Kenshin-kun, I didn't know you went in for that sort of thing now." There was
a speculative gleam in Takahata's eyes as they lingered on the shimmering black fabric.

Kenshin gritted his teeth. "There's been a mistake..."

"Do we have company for tea?" And Kaoru peered out the open shoji. Kenshin very
nearly yelped and hid the box behind his back, as he spun around to smile at his
betrothed. To his dismay he found Takahata doing exactly the same.

"I don't see why not--"

"--but Takahata-kun was just leaving," cut in Kenshin hurriedly. "Everything's fine, I'll be there in a minute, koishii!" With a last, skeptical look, Kaoru vanished from sight, back into the house.

When Takahata pouted his way, Kenshin merely gave him a small, pleading smile...
widened his eyes a little, little bit, tilted his face to catch the golden afternoon sun... With a bit of chi, a breeze came up to ruffle his fiery hair...

Takahata heaved a long, silvery sigh and, raising his sleeve behind an elegant fan, wiped away a hint of drool. "You want me to do something for you."

"Please, Takahata-kun. For old times' sake." Kenshin suppressed a tiny shudder at the
thought. "Take this to Okina... Tell him there's been a mix-up, and this is for Megumi-
dono, not me..."

He spoke slowly and carefully, his heart sinking within him at the entranced look in
Takahata's eyes as they met his. He felt a little guilty about using his, er, charms on the
poor fairy like this--but it would not be easy to explain a black silky undergarment
with the Takani crest to Kaoru-dono, that it wouldn't.

He held fast to that bracing thought as he replaced the box's lid and retied the knot, then
presented it, with a deep bow, to Takahata.

"I can't believe I'm going to be your errand boy now," pouted Takahata, not in the least gratified by Kenshin's politeness.

"Please?" Kenshin smiled at him hopefully.

Takahata arched an eyebrow, still holding the box at arms' length as though it contained
something poisonous. "You're still gorgeous, Kenshin-kun, but getting a bit rusty. At least give me one good reason I should do this for you."

Kenshin thought for only a second. "Shinomori Aoshi."

Takahata stared back. "Eh?"

I owe you big time, old friend, thought Kenshin with a pang of sympathy for the oblivious onmitsu. "You'll understand when you find him."

Takahata said nothing, merely met Kenshin's level gaze silently for a long moment.

Then he beamed, and pink hearts popped all around him.

"You were always so cute when you were desperate!"

With a flurry of a kiss--two kisses--one on each flaming rurouni cheek, and a long irrepressible giggle trailing in echoes in his wake, Takahata vanished even before Kenshin could say "oro."

Confused and profoundly embarrassed, Kenshin stood still and trembling for a moment.
He thought he heard a ghostly voice saying quietly to itself, "Talk to Okina... about
Megumi... find Aoshi... roger that! On to Kyoto!!"

Then, shaking his head and muttering "oro ro..." beneath his breath, he went to join his
fiancee for tea.

-Keishiko

end flashback

Kenshin scratched the back of his head with one hand and put on his best rurouni smile, his violet eyes wide and innocent. He had a sudden funny, nervous feeling as to why Aoshi and Megumi were here and just who had transported them to the dojo. Was there a way to deflect their obvious wrath and get out of this? He had to try or they would never forgive him. And if Kaoru ever found out…he shook his head. He didn't even want to think about that one.

"Hello, you two!" he exclaimed cheerily. "I did not expect to see you so soon again, that I didn't!" He couldn't help noticing that the glares thrown his way had both intensified to hazardous levels. He gulped. "Um…welcome to Tokyo!" he finished lamely.

Aoshi reluctantly rose from what had been the softest, warmest, most pliant cushion he had ever had the privilege of lying upon (Megumi really did feel very, very good, and he wondered briefly when he could have that privilege again), but Himura's meddling had to be dealt with first.

As his hands clenched around the hilts of his kodachis, Aoshi let the all of the fury he was feeling ooze out of every pore. He had just been placed in the strangest, wierdest, mind-bending situation of his life, nearly losing his sanity in the process, and all apparently due to the small red-headed man standing in front of him. "I really will kill you this time, Battousai," he growled menacingly as he took one step forward toward the former hitokiri. His crystal blue eyes crackled dangerously.

"Not if I kill him first," Megumi stated icily as she also stood up. Her once-beloved Ken-san had definitely overstepped his bounds this time.

Aoshi turned back to face her. "Perhaps we should join forces, Megumi-san, and kill him together."

"Deal," Megumi replied. She spat on her hand and held it out. Aoshi spat on his hand and shook her hand once. They turned around and together took one more step toward Kenshin.

"Maa, maa!" Kenshin cried in a strangled voice as he held up his hands placatingly and backed up against a wall. "I can see that you both have met Takahata-san, that I can! I can explain!"

Megumi crossed her arms beneath her breasts, her face scowling at the rurouni. "Explain, then," she demanded. "Now."

"Be quick, Himura," Aoshi commanded as he loosened his kodachis in their sheaths until an inch of steel glowed from each one, reflecting back the candlelight in the room. "Who is Takahata? And why did you send him after Megumi-san and me?" He was seething and wanted an explanation now. No one kidnapped the Oniwabanshuu
Okashira to a pink castle without his permission!

"Well, um…you see, I…" Kenshin's tongue stumbled through the words, smiling foolishly. "It's like this.. you know…heh."

Aoshi let another inch of kodachi slip out of the sheaths when the door to the room suddenly slid open. "Kenshin…," Kaoru said as she stepped into the room, but then her eyes widened in shock when she beheld Aoshi and Megumi standing there, both of them wearing livid expressions. "Aoshi? Megumi?" she asked in a startled voice. "When did you get here? I didn't even know you were coming to Tokyo."

"Neither did we," Megumi muttered.

"Huh?" Kaoru asked, puzzled. "Is something wrong?"

"They sort of…popped in," Kenshin explained hastily. He grabbed his fiancee's arm "I have to talk to you, Kaoru. Excuse us!" He bowed slightly to the dojo's very unexpected guests and steered Kaoru back down the hallway. Kenshin sighed inwardly. He would have to explain this situation to Kaoru after all and face whatever consequences she decided to hand out.

Aoshi and Megumi both leaned out of the doorway, their ears straining to hear the whispered conversation that Kenshin was having with Kaoru.

"Kaoru, do you remember that strange man who came here two weeks ago?" the two eavesdroppers heard Kenshin say. They saw Kaoru's head bob down once in reply. "Well…," Kenshin began, and then his voice became too low for them to hear. Both Aoshi and Megumi watched with a certain amount of satisfaction as Kaoru's expression became angrier by the second. Kenshin's murmured explanation went on for another minute or two more before Kaoru exploded completely. "You did what?!!!" she shouted. "Kenshin, you idiot!" Her fist swung out and slugged him. She stalked away, muttering angrily.

Kenshin landed on the floor with a loud thud. "She really loves me, that she does," he gasped, violet eyes swirling madly. "Oro, oro, oroooo……..ooohhh…"

Megumi looked calmly up at the tall, handsome onmitsu standing before her. "It looks like we'll have to wait for our explanation," she said.

Four inches of kodachi steel hissed back into their sheaths. "I am a patient man," Aoshi replied.

-Amberle-chan

End part five.

Again. feedback much appreciated! :D