Chapter 4

If Lee noticed that the XO and his father seemed to have had a sudden desire to complete every outstanding mundane task on the ship, he didn't comment. His father suspected that he was just grateful to have plenty to keep him occupied. So far keeping him busy had involved a complete parts inventory, a full review of every ship's maintenance log and emergency fire drill practice for the deck crew and the pilots. By the time he eventually got back to his quarters that evening, Lee was so exhausted that he barely had enough energy to sort out Alex and get him put down to sleep, before he fell into bed himself. He slept straight away, with hardly a thought for the fact that the bed was half empty.

His exhaustion carried him through the night until he was awoken in the morning by his son's crying. Kara always seemed to be the one to get up to him at this time and for a moment Lee was disoriented, thinking that she would go, but then reality set in and he realised that the other side of the bed was cold as well as empty. He glanced at the clock: it was 5am and she had now been gone for 18 hours. He knew that if she had returned during the night they would have woken him. A hard knot of anxiety started to settle in his chest; she had been gone too long for this to be a routine mission. He knew that he had to push back his fear or he wouldn't be any good to any one, least of all his son. He heaved himself out of bed as Alex' crying became more insistent. As he reached the cot he picked his baby up and held him close, hoping that concentrating his mind on dealing with his son would drive the feeling of anxiety away.

−

He had a new list of tasks for this second day. The first one for that morning was conducting a review of his pilot's performance assessments, which the admiral had suddenly decided that he needed. They sat in his father's quarters and worked their way through all of his reviews. They were about half way through when Adama decided that he had to tackle the fact that Lee was glancing at the clock every few seconds.

"Watching the clock isn't going to bring her back any quicker Lee."

"I know, dad, but it's been 24 hours now. I can't believe she's not back if something isn't wrong."

"It could be anything, son. This phenomenon could be wider than we imagined and she's just resting up before she comes back. She could just be enjoying some time away from her worry guts of a husband." Lee had to smile ruefully at that. His father went on, "she knows that she's got 48 hours. You know how Kara likes to make an entrance at the last minute. I've never known her be on time for anything. Don't start giving up on her yet."

"I'm not giving up on her. It's just… before, when she was missing I spent every minute she was gone trying to do something towards finding her. When she went to Caprica I had you to worry about, but this….I just can't stand the fact that I can't do anything except wait." His father put a brief, comforting hand on his son's shoulder in silent accord. He could appreciate the feeling; he was just more used to dealing with it than Lee was. He knew that he was spending more time than was strictly necessary with his son, but keeping the CAG in an emotionally fit state for duty was the best thing that he could do for the fleet right now. If truth be known, he also needed this task of concentrating on Lee to keep him from worrying unduly about Kara. He had promised her that he would make sure Lee was alright and he was determined to keep that promise.

"Well, let's get on with these reviews, major." Lee knew that this signalled the fact that his father had been replaced by his CO, but he knew that Adama was doing it to try and keep Lee's mind off Kara and he was silently grateful. He pulled out Helo's file and got back to work. It wasn't too long before they had finished.

"Is that them all, major?"

"Yes, sir. All except Kara's….er, Lieutenant Thrace's sir. I obviously can't do her review."

"Of course not. That will be the XO's job. Let's just hope that the pair of them can get through it without resorting to violence!" Adama was quiet for a few moments then looked at Lee. "I'm rather surprised that her name didn't come up when we were discussing promotions."

"I thought about it, sir, but I was worried that it might be seen as some sort of nepotism, especially as her disciplinary record isn't exactly exemplary."

"Well neither is yours if you think about it. I didn't let that hold me back from giving you the rank that you deserved. Tell me, how many pilots has she trained?"

"More than I could ever have hoped for. Fourteen have gained their viper wings and another twenty have completed basic flight. Plus there's all the advanced training she's given to the more experienced pilots."

"Well that alone would qualify her for promotion. Her position as the fleet's flight instructor and your lead pilot deserves a Captaincy. I'll have the XO prepare the citation; that should stop any accusations of favouritism." One of Lee's rare wide smiles spread across his face.

"Oh Lords, can't you just picture her face when she sees his name at the top of the paper! Just promise me that I can be there when she reads it."

−

As the day wore on with no sign of Kara returning Lee got more and more concerned. He was on CAP in the afternoon and couldn't keep his eyes from frequently straying towards the storm field, as if expecting her to appear at any second. Until now his concern had been mixed with an overwhelming sense of his own impotence at not being able to do anything to help her in this situation, but now, as time wore on, a real fear that something had gone terribly wrong started to creep in.

Despite having worked just as hard during the second day, the second night she was away was much worse than the first. Lee couldn't sleep at all; half expecting the phone to go at any minute to tell him that she was back; half trying to come to terms with the fact that she might not be coming back. It was something that he had just about managed to avoid thinking about during the day, but on his own, in the dark of the night, it crept into his mind and took root. Whether he picked up on his father's anxiety or he missed his mother, Lee couldn't tell, but the baby wouldn't sleep either. His normally placid son had started to grizzle when he first put him in his cot, but that had soon turned into full blown cries. Lee had tried everything to calm him but nothing seemed to work. He had him in his arms, trying to rock him to sleep, but by now Alex had gotten himself well and truly worked up, his little face red and blotchy, as he screamed at the top of his lungs. Lee was at his wits end when his father appeared at the hatch.

"I thought you might be having a bit of trouble."

"You can say that again! Half the ship can probably hear him. I don't know what's wrong, dad. I've fed him, changed him, cuddled and rocked him; I've even tried to sing the silly little song Kara sings to him when she's trying to get him to sleep. Maybe he just wants his mother," finished Lee, forlornly, knowing that he certainly wanted her.

"I'm not a doctor, but I'd say he's got a touch of colic."

"How do you know?"

"Well, contrary to popular opinion, I did raise two children of my own!" Lee had the grace to blush at this comment. His father reached for the phone and got put through to sickbay.

"Yes major…..yes, a bit difficult to miss isn't it! …He seems a bit colicky…thanks."

The doc appeared momentarily and whatever he did seemed to calm Alex down and he eventually went off to sleep.

"Now, what about you major? It doesn't look like you've gotten a lot of sleep over the last few nights. Do you want me to give you something to help?"

"No, I'll be fine. I don't think I could face Kara if……..when she comes back, if she found out I was out cold while our son was sick." The two older men glanced at each other. At a slight nod from the admiral the doctor excused himself, knowing that Bill was in charge of the situation.

After the doc left, Adama just sat and stared at his son. Lee knew that he wouldn't leave him until he got something out of him and even he had reached the point where he just needed to open up to someone about his feelings.

"I can't help thinking that she's not coming back dad," he said quietly. "The worst thing is the not knowing. I mean she could be injured or stranded and I don't know. I keep picturing her stuck in that viper, needing help and we can't do anything to give it to her. She could be dead already and we won't ever know."

"Lee, I don't understand why you're being so pessimistic about this mission. I know it's dangerous, but then there is danger every time your viper leaves the ship."

"I know that dad, and I don't understand it either. Maybe it's just this is the first big op she's done in a very long while, but I had this bad feeling about it from the minute we started talking about it. The last time I had a bad feeling like that was at the Cylon outpost and then I almost got killed."

"I believe the key word in that sentence son, was almost."

"Yeah, I know. I just wish there was something I could do for her."

"You can; you can stop thinking like this and have more faith in her skills, and you can make sure that her son is kept happy and healthy."

"Well he is now." He looked up at his father, "thanks dad." The admiral hesitated for a moment; although their relationship had improved beyond measure, it was rare for him to actually touch his son. Now he felt that Lee needed more than just words and so he reached out and hugged him. He knew that it was the right thing to do when he felt himself being hugged tightly in return.