Journey of the Heart: Chapter 10 - Resistance
DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha and his companions are not mine to own.
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"Kouga..." she moaned as their swollen lips parted long enough to draw a much needed breath.
No further words were spoken as tender flesh reconnected. They had separated for air, but being apart hurt more than the slight burning their lungs experienced in the meantime.
Kouga's desperation came from the fear of losing another person he cared about and had sworn to protect. But the way Kagome's weakened arms struggled to maintain a tight grip on the wolf prince's strong, broad shoulders stemmed from a fear of losing herself.
In the midst of battle with the strange centipede-esque monster she thought she was living a nightmare, but when her mind slipped from the harsh, bright reality of consciousness into the foggy mire of the dreamscape the real terror began.
She found herself struggling for every tortured thought, every continued beat of her heart, and every twitch of her atrophying muscles. Everything was sticky, hot, and decaying. Liquid death burned her lungs and gagged her raw throat as she wrought a futile battle for oxygen.
She was alive and dying. Her limbs felt heavy and immobile as though they were no longer really attached to her. Unrelenting aches and pains had been prolonged so long she could no longer feel the sharp sting of the poison coating her prone form.
Kagome began to feel detached from her suffering body. It was as if she were floating above her physical form, aware of the peril and yet unable to do anything to save herself. Only a thin pink veil of energy surrounding her body stood in testament of her fight to stave off the corrosive environment.
Instinctively, she was driven to find a way to put her conscious back into her body, but before she was able to conceive of a way of doing just that, an oppressive somber haze invaded her weary mind and sapped away at her will. Her mind began to feel nothingness as numbness gripped her.
The manipulative siren's song of peace called to her and she began to think she could just rest for a bit, here, in this cradle of death. She could relax her strained and stressed body without worrying about seeking the jewel shards, or defeating Naraku, or understanding her heart's conflicted yearnings, or finding her way home.
Kagome allowed her focus to wane. She began to recede into the deep sleep that summoned her in quiet, coaxing whispers. As she slipped toward release, she became vaguely aware that the shield of holy energy that had been slowing the deterioration of her physical body was becoming thin and unstable. But she was too far gone to register the significance. She simply drifted further and further from the cruel reality no young student from the modern era should have had to bear.
Almost as if to say goodbye, she reached out with her mind one more time to view the unforgiving world she was departing. That is when she noticed she wasn't alone. There, lying next to her depleted body was a certain wolf youkai.
The debilitated Kouga was resting on his side with one limp arm draped over her torso in a protective fashion. Some long strands of midnight colored hair had worked themselves free from the bonds of his ponytail and swum across his ghastly white bleached face. His normally solid, muscular form seemed slightly reduced, and his blue eyes that sparkled like a waterfall in the midday sun were sealed from view.
His body was so still and fragile looking. It was not at all how she thought of him. He was always so vigorous and full of energy and attitude. And there he was, locked in the same hopeless grip as her.
Only he couldn't see himself as he was, so he couldn't do anything to fight it. He was still dreaming life instead of living the nightmare.
Kagome's senses became outraged. She was furious that he had been captured while protecting her and was now prostrated and drained for his troubles. But she was even angrier at herself for coming so close to giving up especially because now she saw it meant letting Kouga down.
And not just Kouga--there were so many people depending on him. His pack would be vulnerable without his leadership. Ginta and Hakkaku would be lost without his friendship. She would...
She wasn't sure what she would do without him, and she was not about to find out!
A fire of determination blazed within her heart. Suddenly, her journey to the silent, tranquility of oblivion was not welcoming. She grasped desperately for something to hold onto, but her fingers were stiff and no longer within her control. The momentum had sucked her consciousness into its wake, and she felt herself spiraling away from the last vestiges of familiarity and into the cold, dark abyss she had so recently sought to embrace.
She fought valiantly, but it wasn't enough. The void was growing closer, and there was so much left to do and say. She would never tell Sango she was the sister she always wanted. She would never find a way to show Shippo her future world full of playgrounds and sweets. She would never see Miroku's relieved face the day Naraku was defeated, and his curse was ended. She would never explain to her family how much she missed them when she was adventuring in the feudal era. She would never know if she and Inuyasha could be friends again after their last fight.
But most of all, she would never see Kouga's lopsided smirk or feel the warmth of his hands as he grasped hers or hear the way his smooth, deep voice referred to her as 'my woman' again.
'KOUGA!' her mind screamed out over and over for him. And just when she thought the battle was lost and the darkness was going to swallow her, something pulled her the other way. Somehow, their connection had been the support she needed to escape the dreamscape and find her way back into the other world--Kouga's lips on her lips, was proof of that.
She knew she should put a stop to the newfound intimacy. She needed to tell him what she had just discovered while unconscious. It had been more than a simple dream. But maybe it could wait just a few more minutes...
-ooo-oooooo-ooo-
"We are lost." Sango stated matter-of-factly after passing what she was sure was the same indiscernible boulder for the third time.
"How can we be lost? We don't even know where we are going," Miroku replied in his calm Buddhist fashion. He was rewarded with a withering glance from the frustrated tajiya.
She kept her oversized boomerang to herself even though she was tempted to wield it upside his grinning face.
Still, Sango realized his comment was only his subtle way of trying to infuse humor into an extremely tense situation. The group had been traveling for well over an hour while seemingly getting nowhere. They were already stressed over Kagome's abduction, and having Kikyo around was not helping to lighten the mood.
The dead miko had not spoken since their journey through the bowels of the earth had begun. She simply stared forward with the same emotionless stare that was such a familiar presence upon her delicate features. Inuyasha had likewise been silent, but his expressions had spoken volumes.
He was still struggling with the loss of Kagome, but now he was also confronted by the reminder of another important person he lost to Naraku's sinister plans.
Breaking the shell of tension that had once again hardened over the group, Sango spoke again. "Perhaps this place is a decoy, and Naraku is not here after all."
Before anyone else had a chance to respond a crisp voice chillingly echoed down the narrow passage some distance ahead of them. "Oh, you are in the right place, tajiya, but I think you'll find it is the wrong time for you."
"KAGURA!" Inuyasha roared in recognition of her mocking tone. His amber eyes burned with indescribable rage. He had allowed another foul detachment to get the drop on them. His body shook with all the tension and regret and self-directed anger of the past few days. He unsheathed Tetsusaiga and charged ahead without another word. None were needed. The condemned had already spoken, and it was time to pass sentence.
-ooo-oooooo-ooo-
"What do you mean she sensed you?" Naraku's voice was level and smooth, but the threat that intertwined his silken words was evident to all.
The spider creature was several times the size of the dark haired man in black and purple robes, but she still shuddered involuntarily from intimidation. Expending all available effort, she attempted to explain the situation and hoped she would not find herself reabsorbed anytime soon.
"When she believed she lost consciousness in the astral plane her physical senses awoke, just barely, but it was enough. She saw herself and the wolf too. It happened once before when she was 'dreaming,' but I was able to reassert control then, and I almost had this time when she fought me."
Her five remaining giant legs twitched nervously as she debated whether or not to explain the next portion of the story. "I took more dramatic means and attempted to seal her mind away completely to keep her from discovering and alerting the other one. I had her within my sway, but just before it was complete, she managed to free herself." Hesitating, she added, "With her mind back in the astral plane I can't affect it directly, which is why I sent my puppets to herd them in the first place."
"Usually my victim's memories fade upon returning to the astral plane even if they have managed to awaken in their bodies for some reason, but..." she paused.
"I do not appreciate unnecessary suspense," he said curtly.
"Instead of growing steadily weaker and more confused, having her consciousness separated from her body seems to have liberated her miko abilities." Sighing unpleasantly, the spider demon finished and braced herself for whatever response she earned from the irritated hanyou. "She might remember what she saw."
No words fell from Naraku's pursed lips, but his silence was nearly deafening. It was clear the dark lord was not pleased. "Kanna."
"Yes, my lord?" her young, hollow voice responded automatically.
"Show me," his words were vague, but the small, albino girl knew exactly what he meant. Her tiny hand lifted the heavy, ornate mirror for Naraku to view. Instead of reflecting his image back to him, he was able to see the young miko curled into a ball and tucked within the arms of the wolf prince.
He relaxed considerably, but showed no outward signs of this. He wanted the spider on her toes, or legs as the case were--all of them. Kikyo's reincarnation was turning out to be a more formidable opponent than he had initially anticipated. However, it seemed the arrogant prince was doing his best to keep her distracted, even though he had no idea how well he was playing into Naraku's plans.
"Report to me if there are any further changes," he commanded as he regally swept out of the dingy room. The spider began to emit signs of relief until he stilled at the door. His dark eyes stared unblinkingly forward, but the spider detachment knew his serious remarks were meant for her.
"Her life is not the expendable one in this equation. You will not attempt to seal her mind again, nor will you allow her to gain access to any knowledge she does not already possess. I need her intact and unaware to fulfill my plans." His head tipped forward just slightly, sending a few strands of charcoal hair to shadow his piercing gaze. "I will not be disappointed again."
The spider's red-rimmed violet eyes opened wide as she watched him exit the room. She knew she had just heard her death sentence, and all there was left to do was wait.
-ooo-oooooo-ooo-
Kouga's lips continued to massage hers in gentle, but persistent strokes. Sometimes he would graze over her with a feather light touch that sent tingles through her nervous system, and then he would press firmly and cause her whole body to feel hot and her head to spin uncontrollably.
His tongue slipped within her moist cavern as she sighed contentedly in response to the gentle caressing his hands were conducting over her aching muscles. His touch was so soft and understanding. He pulled his long digits through her long, silky hair and then allowed his fingertips to slide down the back of her neck. Her body melted into his caress.
It felt so good to be touched, to be held, to be kissed: she felt wonderfully alive.
'Alive!' The memory flooded back to her like a gunshot going off in her mind. It overflowed her senses and shook her from the blissful contentedness.
"We're dying!" she shouted as she pushed away from the cocoon he had formed for her with his body.
Needless to say, Kouga was confused. "Kagome?"
She tried to get to her feet, but her injured ankle swelled with violent pangs of pain, and she found herself crashing back into his strong arms. "We have to get out of here," she choked out between yelps of discomfort.
"Kagome, what's wrong?"
She swung her head around, seeing only trees and rocks and more useless landscape. "I saw us. We were dying. We have to find us again and save us!" Her thoughts streamed from her without any filtering, and Kouga was truly dumbfounded by the incoherent explanation.
Kagome's eyes landed upon the weak aura she had earlier sensed streaming from the spiraling mountain in the distance. Pointing in its direction, she turned her attention to the flustered wolf demon. "We have to get there."
Sad, blue eyes studied her, and he did not move.
"Hurry! Get up and do that running in a whirlwind thing that you do. We might not have much time left!"
She stopped when she saw his head was bent low, shadowing his eyes from sight. His solemn stance quieted her stream of consciousness commands and statements. "Kouga?"
"I failed you." Somehow the sound of his heart breaking could be detected in the cadence of his simple words.
"Kouga," she repeated in a cracking voice, and she was scant sure the word had stumbled its way into even his sensitive hearing range.
"NO, I failed." Apparently it had.
"I wasn't here when you needed me. Something terrible obviously happened to you, and then when you needed my support the most I...I..."
He deliberately positioned her so that she was sitting on her own without touching him further. "I had no right to..." his fist shook as he tried to finish the statement, but instead he ended with a resolute, "I had no right."
He couldn't bring himself to say it--to say he had no right to touch her--to kiss her. She was the woman he loved, the woman he wished to mate and to have standing by his side forever, and now she was the woman he had failed like so many others.
At the first sign of trouble he had gotten upset and left her side. She was abandoned in an unfamiliar world that was known to have hostile potential and still he left. He returned only to find her with a broken body and a confused mind and proceeded to assert himself over her physically. He had never been more disappointed in himself. Even the day he found his tribe scattered and dead upon the cold, hard ground after his triumphant fishing exploits paled in comparison.
There was no excuse for taking refuge in her sweet warmth. He did not deserve forgiveness or compassion. Kouga stood and peered down at her with determined eyes, clouded by self-judgment. "I will find a way to free you from this place. And once I do, I won't trouble you with my presence again."
Before she could react with more than the stunned expression she wore, he scooped her up and took off in the direction she had been pointing.
The wind resistance at the speed he traveled made it impossible for her to speak, but she was still in too much shock to try anyway. Her body decided, instead, that it needed more rest. And even though she fought it, she found herself slipping back to sleep.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter took soooooooooooooooo long. And I don't mean that it took me a long time to start it. I just couldn't seem to write it. There was much struggling, so please be kind and review. I apologize for the long wait.
Cross selling time! Please go check out X Marks the Spot. It is a Rurouni Kenshin fic. Technically it is a sequel to Crossing the Line, but I am writing in such a way that you can start either place. It will feature a pairing between Kenshin and Shura as well as plenty of other characters. And please review!
Also, I have recently fallen in love with the anime Kyou Kara Maou. If you have the means, check it out!
FF Reviewers: quirkyslayer (Thank you so much. Sorry you had such a long wait), Chaos-and-Serenity (aww...hands you a tissue), Angel6582 (Tissues all around then! This may sound extremely lame, but I actually made myself cry when writing it.), BelleDayNight (Shucks! Thanks for your help with this chapter!), nunofyorbiz (In a good way I hope), Iridescent Twilight (If you liked the kissing you probably liked this chapter!), Britney (Kagome lives!), VangieGirl (Some action, not a lot of fluff yet...but around the corner no doubt), Kogasgirl142 (thanks!), Nichole Hibiki (the poor guy has had it rough), tori007otaku (Sorry for driving you crazy!), SailorKagome (Arigato!), Fairia13 (I hope you are back soon. I need your help with this stuff!), child of kami (He is awesome and deserves much props, I agree), Tigeris (I hope my story continues to not disappoint in quality), chi lee (I promise to finish. I'm sorry some updates take so long)
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