Chapter 2

Mining Ship Red Dwarf (before Improbability Drive Activation)

"This is not funny you two." Arnold Rimmer said angrily, trying to get out from between the two of them. The two were Dave Lister and Cat, who were, at the time, chucking a football between the Hologram.

"Actually, Rimmer, this is quite enjoyable." The slobbish Dave replied with a chuckle, catching a pass through his abdomen.

"Yeah, H-head, lighten up, why don't ya?" the Cat said, reaching for the ball after a headshot. "Nice one."

"Because the reason I don't want you doing that is because you could hit my-" before he could finish, the football entered his body again, but this time, it ricocheted out, Rimmer falling to the ground and sliding across the room. He shouted as he flew down the nearby corridor. When he finally came to a stop, he yelled to the other two. "My Light Bee!"

Lister and Cat burst out in laughter at what had just happened. "I guess this proves that I've got more willpower when getting hit by pressurized balls, eh, Rimmer?"

"That is not funny, Lister." Arnold said, getting to his feet. "You could have seriously injured my Light Bee and I would have been out of commission for who knows how long. Then what would you do?"

"I'd have Holly bring up that stupid rulebook you made and break every one of them, starting with the one about not clipping my toenails in your bed."

"Yeah, and I'd be able to ignore your stupid 'No more than six fish meals per hour.' Rule." The Cat said, licking his lips. 'You'd think you were trying to starve me."

"Well, too bad, because my Bee has taken no damage. As such, I'll be around to keep this ship orderly."

"So, in other words…" Lister and Cat both put their hands to their mouths and blew raspberries.

"Oh, that's it. From now on-" the hologram was interrupted as Holly, the ship's computer, appeared on the TV screen.

"Don't mean to ruin the fun, gang, but it appears as if we've been pulled into some kind of wormhole." The bleach blonde said his with the same airy-ness as always.

Taking a serious tone, Rimmer looked to Holly. "Well, is there any way we can get out of it?"

"Not really." She replied. "It might have been possible when it started sucking us in twenty minutes ago, but now, we'd be lucky to get something going at light speed out of here."

"Twenty minutes!" Rimmer exclaimed. "Why didn't you warn us sooner!"

"Well, it was on the list. It's just that it came second in importance."

"What could possibly be more important than warning us that we were about to be sucked into a wormhole?"

"Well, the season finally of Androids was on." Holly replied defensively. "They told who Unit XQ76's real father was."

"That was today?" Lister said, shocked. "Oh, I was planning to watch that. Did you record it?"

"Of course I did."

"Oh, I can't wait, just tell me who it was."

"Well, it turns out-"

"Excuse me, ladies, but can you discuss this later. Oh, maybe when, WE'RE NOT BEING SUCKED INTO A WORMHOLE!" Rimmer shouted, angry that he seemed to be the only one who cared.

Suddenly, the ship was rocked by a collision of some sort. The three looked out the window to see a group of rather ugly green ships passing by them. They had no clue that these were the Vogon ships, and really didn't care.

"This is getting a bit too weird for me, so if you need me, I'll be in the dining area." With that, the Cat began to scoot down the hall in his strange way, stopping once to compliment himself in the mirror.

By this time, the ships were long gone, leaving the Red Dwarf flying through the wormhole. Eventually, it shot out the other end, and found itself near an silver orb of a ship called the Heart of Gold.

Next: First Contact

Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm not writing this from my home computer, and since I don't have a floppy, I wouldn't be able to post this again for a long time. Thanks for the reviews, and hope you enjoyed.