Child

4 words: SCHOOL WAS ABSOLUTE HELL. Problems, homework, tests, assignments, projects... Augh, you name them all. For the past two weeks, all those stuff buried me on a mountain. At least it's Sprng Break now, yay, so I can update more often, and catch up with other stuff. :) Horray!

Welcome to the chapter of horrorful humour! Mwahahaaaa!


Of Taking Baths and Fixing Clothes

"You dirty, dirty man!" He laughed and pointed to Beast Boy. "You dirty man! Trying to see an innocent girl's nude! Haha!"

Beast Boy laughed also, partly.

"Wait a minute!" Raven scowled, and grabbing the attention of the Titans.

"What?"

"Who said, that I agreed on taking a bath!"

Some uneasy eyes shifted, wondering on what to do. Robin thought to reason with her first.

"You're a mess, look at yourself! You have dirt all over you, bloodstained skin..."

"And your point!"

"You'll attract germs! Ewww!"

"I like germs, buzz off."

"The clean water is calling your name!"

"The only thing that's calling me is the urge to hurt you. Badly."

Robin tried to tell Raven how bad it would be without taking a bath, but Beast Boy had another thing coming. As Cyborg said, he was a dirty man. And he wanted something; either Raven takes a bath, which she reaks, or...

"I WANNA SEE YOU NAKED!"

Four pairs of eyeballs rounded up on Beast Boy, who tried to look serious, but his attempt was failing. Raven has her mouth hanging down, and Starfire giggled.

"On my planet," She explained. "When a man wishes to see the nakedness of a woman, he is asking her to be his girl. Then they will have the ritual of Tarkinhov, which I hear Eathlings call sex, get married and live happily ever after! Friend Raven, would you not except?"

Eyes were wide as saucers. Raven blushed furiously, and smoke was puffing out of her head. She slipped away quietly and sneaked into the bathroom, locked the door and sighed. She didn't want anyone, ESSPECIALLY BEAST BOY to come into her privacy. She took off her torn clothes, and turned on the taps. Raven assumed red was hot, and blue meant cold, and so, using her intelligence, turned on the water and made herself a warm, relaxing, stress-relieving bath.

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"Well, I guess it worked." Beast Boy said, and sat on the couch. He yawned, and said to Starfire, "Hey, Star, aren't you suppose to give Raven a bath?" Starfire nodded, and zoomed away to the bathroom. Then he turned his green head to the boys. "What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"I, um, will go work on Raven's clothes, heh heh, you two chat." Cyborg said, half laughing and half anxious to leave Beast Boy's presence. As he walked by, whistling innocently, he whispered to his friend, "You're a pervert man! Talk to ya later!"

Now Beast Boy and Robin were left.

There was a small silence.

"Gamestation?" Beast Boy offered.

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"You make me wanna LA LA! In the kitchen, on the floor! I'll be a French maid where I'll meet you at the door! I'm like an alley cat! Drink the milk up; I want more! You make me wanna, you make me wanna SSSSCCCREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!"

Raven half singed and half yelled. She loved how the water massaged her skin, and she could fall asleep any moment - if she wanted to. Instead, she decided to be hyper and sing. She smiled and duck her head in the warm water, and popped back up. Her throat hurt from yelling out some songs she secretly listened to on Beast Boy's stereo. Instead, she lay back and started playing with her violet hair.

KNOCK KNOCK!

The sound made Raven leap up from surprisement.

"Friend Raven! I respect that you are taking the bath, but the water - it is leaking out the bottom! Is everything alright in there? Please, would you not let me in and do the 'checking out'?"

"Water? Leaking out?" Raven blinked, and looked at the taps. She forgot to turn them off! They were still pouring out water. This put on a wicked smile on her lips. She turned the taps to full blast, and covered the holes at the bottom cracks of the door with a heavy towel. She waited for the results.

"Oh! I see you have stopped the problem! The water has stopped leaking!"

"Uh, yeah! Hey, I'll call you back when I'm done scrubbing myself. 'Kay?"

"I shall!" She said happily, and flew back to the main room.

Little did she know, Raven had another diabolical scheme hatching in her head...

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Cyborg had pieces of cloth in a bunch. Most of them are patched of crimson, silver, navy, black, and purple. He decided he wanted to impress the little girl, and make abeautiful dress. When he and Beast Boy snuck into her room for the first time, when Beast Boy was looking through her meditation mirror, he saw Raven's photo album, and saw a younger Raven wearing an elegant dress. He have yet ask her when, and why, but thought better of it, and decided not to get killed.

He had a small black shirt, and added cuffs at the end, and a turtleneck. He was proud of his little redecorating, and now... the dress. Cyborg wondered if they would fit her, but he knew she was 1/5 his size, so it muct be rather small.

Trying to make the dres perfect, he made a mistake. "AH!" He cried, and tried to fix it. Then he made another mistake, and another, and another, and another, and then another...

Cyborg got fed up, and researched on his computer, 'ways to make a perfect dress' and got many results. Then he got the sewing machine, and tried again.

Only to make another mistake.

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"You can never beat me with those pathetic moves!"

"Whatever! I will... NO!"

"YES BABY!"

"Ack! That's it, I didn't want to do this at first but..."

"Huh?"

"HIIIYA!"

"What the...?"

"KILL HIM BABY!"

"Oh my god... Block it, block it... AAAAHH! YOU DESTROYED ME!"

"For a martial artist like you, you sure get your butt kicked! A LOT!"

"How'd you do that awesome move! Teach me!"

"Gee, I dunno..."

"FRIEND ROBIN!"

Starfire came running, frantically waving her arms and eyes bulding out. "FRIEND ROBIN!" She cried again.

"What is it?"

"Friend Raven is taking the bath, and I checked on her about two times, but then when I checked for the third time, she did not answer! I waited for her to reply, but all I heard was silence, and a 'help'! Please, I believe she is in need of saving!" She all said this very fast, and poor Robin didn't understand what she tried to say. When Robin gave her a confused look, Starfire took a deep breath, and screamed, "FRIEND RAVEN IS IN NEED OF HELP!"

"Why?"

"I believe she is drowning!"

Beast Boy turned from green to white. He shoved Starfire and Robin out of the way, and ran to the bathroom door. "Raven!" He banged on the door, transformed into different animals and smashed his fists, trying to knock the steel door down. Along came the other Titans. Cyborg told them to back down, and he punched the door as hard as he could.

They fell for Raven's trap.

Heaps of water came gushing out of the bathroom door, carrying the Titans in the flowing motions of the wave. When all the water escaped, Raven, with only a towel covering her, screamed, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE! I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU COME BANGING THE DOOR DOWN WHEN I TAKE A FREAKING BATH! YOU'RE ALL PERVERTS! HORNY PERVERTS! AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"

She sent all four Titans flying out the window. Sure, she said to herself, grinning. They don't know that I know that they would come for me, such a bunch of losers! Ha! She laughed mentally in her head, and when she realized that Cyborg was making her new outfit, she became irritated. She put her head out the window, and screamed, "GET YOUR ASS HERE AND FINISH THE JOB!"

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Everyone was petrified by Raven. She sat on the couch, eyes closed, drumming her fingers and tapping her foot onto the ground. Everyone was soaked with water, and it was about an hour before Cyborg came out with a smile. Raven opened her eyes slightly and narrowed them.

"Well? Do I have to wait for you to give it to me, or do I have to be naked all night?"

"Chill! i finished it, just wanted to make some finishing touches. Also, Raven, do you like red ribbons, or blue?"

"Neither."

"Then... do you like silver lining, or black?"

"Both."

"How about - "

"How about stop yapping and finish for crying out loud!"

"Okay, okay!" Cyborg pulled out a dress out of nowhere. The Titans gawped, even Raven. What has Cyborg made!

"What? It's a velvet black dress, knee length, long sleeve, blue cuffs, red, blue and silver trims, and it matched with these cute little shoes, which are also black but with purple swrils! You like, right?"

Raven jumped off, walked pass and grabbed the dress and shoes, went into another room, changed and came back out. She looked stunning. "Thanks Cyborg... I guess..." She said. "By the way..." Raven gave another wicked grin. The Titans backed up.

"How about we diss each other, just for fun?"


Sorry, had to end it. Feeling really tired now, sorry it took so long.

PLEASE PEOPLE, SEND ME DISSES!