Disclaimer: I do not own HP & Co.

A/N:

YEAH!! Going computer shopping this weekend (I'm hoping for a laptop-then I can write-er, type-anywhere).
Love to all my Reviewers!!!! I have been reading through all of your works, some I had previously read & was so happy that you read mine & liked it! Others I just came across & added to my author alert & some to favs. Manx, mosleyn001, Makalani Astral, Pure Black, Kaleena Mason, Taz: Thanks for the review, I appreciate them. I hope to update at least 2x a wk, but most likely 3, some of the later chapters are a bit difficult, trying to keep people from being OoC, but still have them do what you want. Anna Taure: Lupin's trying to sniff out the truth-ha, sniff/werewolf hee hee. Tell me, what do you think I have to do? (other than complete the story & post more chaps) I'm interested in your opinion. Eliza Guerin: see above about Lupin. Harry might, might not, still afraid to, not to mention he still trying to grasp it himself. Lady Lily3: um, no, as it is now, not until school starts, I think...or at least late in the summer.

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Chapter 6 the decision
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Sunday afternoon Harry found himself walking towards the castle preparing himself to act on the decision he made less than an hour before.

Harry had spent most of the weekend reading about occlumency and clearing your mind. The remainder of his time was spent reviewing the list of pro's and con's he created Saturday and on deciding who he should 'ask' to teach him occlumency. Even though Snape said the choice was up to him, Harry decided it would be more respectful to ask someone to teach him rather than to just state his decision.

His decision. It was a tough choice. Even now he wonders if it was the right one. Since he was trying to get everyone to treat him more like an adult and less like a child, Harry concluded it was time to act more like an adult. He didn't make his decision lightly, nor did he let his emotions, past angers, hurts, disagreements or prejudices stand in the way of reasoning, or at least he tried his best not to. He wanted to base his decision on who overall, would be the best one to teach him. There where many reasons why both Professor Dumbledore and Snape would be best to teach him. There was also an equal number of reasons why both could hinder his progress. It all came down to three things, respect, trust and understanding.

Without being fully conscious of his actions, Harry found himself at his destination, the dungeon. He knocked on the door and after hearing a terse 'come in', he opened the door and stood in the entry way.

"Potter."

"Professor," Harry replied with respect mingled with fear in his tone. "I wonder if I can speak with you, if you have a moment."

After looking at Harry and then back at his potion, Snape snapped "Fine, you have until this potion finishes simmering."

At Snape's tone, Harry was tempted to change his mind and leave, before he reminded himself that he was going to control his emotions and not react to them, the first step to acting more like an adult then a child.

"Thank you, sir." Harry paused for a minute as he walked towards Snape. He finally stopped at the end of the workbench where Snape was brewing a potion.

"Professor, I would like you to teach me occlumency this summer. I know it didn't work out last year and I apologize. I wasn't trying my best for various reasons. I see the reason for it and I want-no, I need to learn this. I've done a lsot of thinking since summer holiday started, and especially these last few hours, and while I realize that we don't necessarily like each other and probably never will, but we are on the same side in this war and I trust you. I don't know anyone else who has tried to help me or save my life more than you in the last 5 years." Realizing he was beginning to ramble and that Snape was just staring at him, Harry took a deep breath before he continued. "Professor Snape, I would appreciate it very much if you would agree to instruct me."

At these words, Severus looked a bit shocked before his emotionless mask went back into place and he replied, "Meet me in my office at 9 tomorrow morning. And don't be late, Potter."

"Thank you, sir," and after receiving a nod of acknowledgement and dismissal, Harry started heading out of the dungeons and towards the lake.

Harry thought that that was probably the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Worse than trying to keep peace with the Dursley's these last few years. However difficult it was, Harry was glad it was over and that he had done it. He doesn't know why, but something was telling him that he made the right choice. Now all he had to do was keep the promises he made to himself.

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Dinner was a quiet affair that night, with just Professor Snape, the Headmaster, Remus & Harry in attendance.

"So, Harry, have you decided who you would like to instruct you in occlumency this summer."

"Yes, sir. This afternoon I asked Professor Snape if he would agree to continue my lessons and he consented."

At these words, Remus stopped with his fork half way to his mouth and stared at Harry in disbelief. Albus however, continued eating, although if one looked closer they would notice that the twinkle in his eyes was not as bright as it was before this conversation started.

"Good, Good, Harry. Glad we got that all sorted out." Dumbledore proclaimed.

Severus didn't say another word for the remainder of the evening. He just looked from Harry to Albus and back to Harry again before taking his leave.

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As Severus walked back to his dungeon (and yes, he does think of it as his), he thought about the conversation he had earlier with The-boy-who-lived-to-torment. Although part of him wonder if you could really call it a conversation, since he didn't really say anything, it was mostly Potter rambling on.

Potter says some interesting thing when he rambles, Severus thought. The potions master wondered if Harry meant what he said or if he said it just to get him to agree to teach Harry occlumency. Although Severus wasn't sure why Harry might think he had to resort to that, especially since he's a Gryffindor. Now a Slytherin, oh yes, Severus could very easily picture one of his Slytherins (and yes, he does think of the Slytherins as his, as well- they do live in his dungeon, after all) concocting such a plan to manipulate someone into doing what they wanted. Buy why would Potter do that? It wasn't as if he wouldn't have anyone to teach him occlumency if Severus didn't agree, Albus would have been more than happy to teach the boy. Perhaps Albus was right and the boy didn't trust him. After all that the headmaster had done for his golden boy, keeping him from being expelled; bending the rules so he didn't get in trouble but earned house points instead; letting him come here for the summer; how could Harry treat him like this. Just another indication that he is so much like his father, arrogant, selfish, caring for know one but himself.

Maybe something else is going on here, Severus thought. Maybe this is all a set up for a joke that Potter is planning to play on me, he has gotten awfully close to those Weasley twins, who knows what ideas they might have passed on to other students. He'll have to proceed with caution during the lessons. But first, he will have to determine how honest Harry was with his little speech this afternoon.

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About ten minutes after Snape left, Harry excused himself. He really didn't feel like reading about adoptions or charms. He wished he had asked Professor Dumbledore if it was okay to write to his friends.

Dumbledore. Harry saw the brief look of hurt that had shown up on his face when Harry announced that he had asked Snape to teach him occlumency. Harry didn't intend to hurt the older wizard, he just didn't think he could handle being in a room with him for 2.5 hours a day for the rest of the summer. Yet he just willingly agreed, nay asked, to spend that time with Snape. Maybe Voldemort's possession of me at the Ministry of Magic had more of an effect on him than he thought, he chuckled to himself. Ron would definitely think so if he heard about my decision; Hermione would be puzzled, and try to figure out exactly why I chose Snape instead of Dumbledore, then she'll get frustrated because the answer isn't in a book. Regardless of his friend's reactions, Harry knew that it was the right choice, he doesn't know why, exactly, but some things just feel right. Snape would push him hard to learn occlumency, but Dumbledore would push him hard to talk about the events of last year.

Harry really wished one of his friends were here for him to talk to. Especially Hermione, he thought. She would be able to help him sort through all his thoughts and feelings. She might even have some ideas on how he can search for his birth father. If it is somewhere in a book, Hermione could find it. While he might not feel totally comfortable talking about Sirius's letter yet, Harry knew that sooner or later he would have to, if for no other reason than to keep his sanity intact. He also knew that his own research could only get his so far. He will need help from someone eventually, but the only problem was when that time came, who should he ask?

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After Severus and Harry left the Great Hall, Albus wasn't far behind. He really felt the need to go up to his office and have a lemon drop. Some people used chocolate to soothe them, Albus had his lemon drops. He doesn't know what he would do without his lemon drops, thank goodness for muggle confectionaries. Now if only he could figure out why everyone else kept refusing to have one.

Albus really wasn't all that surprised that Harry chose Severus to teach him occlumency. Of course, Albus would bet that Severus was shocked. No, it wasn't really all that unexpected to him, but it still hurt. Albus was hoping that Harry had forgiven him for his past errors in judgment, but it doesn't appear that that has happened. Harry seemed to have forgiven Severus, though, so at least there is hope. Of course, Harry didn't expect anything from Severus, so it's not like he was disappointed by how Severus acted. Harry did trust me though, he valued my opinions and thought that he could rely on me. Oh how he must have been disheartened to realize the things that were kept from him, all because the headmaster thought it was best. Albus knew that Harry didn't give his trust easily, not to his friends and especially not to adults, so it truly broke Albus' heart when he realized that he had lost Harry's trust. He will have to find a way to win it back. He will just have to be careful around Harry, be considerate, ask him how he is, without prying or pushing, and just let him know that he was there for him if needed. For Albus genuinely cared for the boy, and not just because he was thought to be the savior of the wizarding world, as many people might accuse. There was something about Harry, he looked so much like James, yet he truly didn't act like him at all. Harry was quiet, often preferring to hide in the shadows and not the limelight. He reminded Albus of someone else but for the life of him, Albus couldn't figure out whom.

He would just have to make the best of the situation, Albus pondered. At least there might be peace in the dungeons come September, Albus thought. Perhaps after almost 2 months of lessons, Severus and Harry can learn to get along with each other, or at least grudgingly respect one another. Yes, Albus decided. We'll just have to see happens.

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Remus sat alone at the table, nursing a cup of coffee, thinking about what had transpired at dinner that evening. Harry asked Snape to teach him occlumency. Harry willingly chose Snape, instead of Albus, to teach him. If it was anyone but Harry, Remus would suspect them of having some type of ulterior motive. Merlin knows, the Mauraders would have used an opportunity such as this to pull something on Snape. Remus quickly dismissed that idea, that wasn't Harry's style. As much as Harry looked like his father, the similarities seem to end there. Harry was definitely his own person when it comes to personality, he didn't seem to take after Lily or James, of course, Remus thought, that could have something to do with how he was raised, and by whom.

Maybe Harry is just growing up, Remus thought. He has been through a lot in his 16 years. Yet it still didn't explain why he chose Snape over Albus. He might be letting go of old grudges towards Snape, but he still seemed a bit cold and distant towards Albus.

Remus thought back to the conversation he overheard between Snape & Albus yesterday. He didn't believe it at the time when Albus mentioned that Harry might not trust him and probably wouldn't want Albus to teach him occlumency, but now, it appeared as if Albus was correct. That leaves just one question. Why? What happened last year that made Harry not trust Dumbledore? Was it something that happened at the Ministry of Magic? Something before that? Something after? How much is that kid going through, Remus thought. Remus was positive that this issue with Dumbledore wasn't the same topic that Sirius addressed in his letter to Harry. That made at least three things going on with Harry, not including the normal things that the boy-who-lived has to deal with, such as having a mad dark wizard constantly trying to kill you, or the press creating 'news' about you. Sirius's death; His relationship with Albus; and Sirius's letter, Remus figured the research Harry was doing in the library was most likely connected to the content's of Sirius's letter, but it could potentially be a fourth item that Harry is working on. Remus gave a long sigh as he realized that he didn't know how to be a father figure, let alone a father figure to a teenage boy, who was anything but normal, even by wizarding standards. Why couldn't he just have girl troubles like every other teenage wizard?

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End Chapter 6
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So, what do ya think? Pretty obvious who HP was going to choose, huh? What do you think of the reasons, are they good enough?

Want your opinion: Should HP have a twin or a sibling (I know, not that original an idea, but came to me last night & thought I would ask)?

10/1/2004