Disclaimer: I do not own HP & Co.
A/N:
Most of this story happens in the summer, to focus on HP, SS, AD, RL & other info.
Owls in italics
Underline words/characters have references at the bottom of the chapter.
So far, this is my longest chapter...
Thanks Reviewers!!!! Don't have much time, since I want to get this posted. Here's some comments to some questions/issues mentioned in reviews:
Lives depending on OC, as in life/death, while his adoption is important, SB died because HP didn't learn oc. He doesn't want that to happen again.
Remus, he's a Gryffindor, but he still respects the privacy of others (his gentle nature), so he's not as forthcoming as he would like. Right now, there isn't a problem w/ HP-SS, no more said right now about RL...
Progress in oc will eventually be made (ch 10, I believe), thanks to ??.
At this time, no romance for HP is planned (but if one develops it will definitely not be HP/Cho & most likely not HP/GW (I do like HP/HG & HP/LL, those are the only 2 I can even think about for HP). I see HG as a confidante to HP, someone HP can trust to guide him, when he is confused or overwhelmed.
Filler chap, perhaps, but I did want SS to respond to HP's words as well, as for him to decide if HP means what he says...this will (or should) come into play later-a method to my madness-
As for neglecting homework..don't remind me. I have a big exam I need to take in Nov, haven't opened the books since I started posting this fic...
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Chapter 8 owls
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Tuesday night at dinner, Harry got permission from Dumbledore to owl his friends. Dumbledore cautioned him not to mention occlumency, in case the letters get into the wrong hands, but that it was okay to mention that he was at Hogwarts for the summer. Dumbledore mentioned that they might already know from Mr. & Mrs. Weasley since he told the order that they didn't have to keep an eye on the house or to expect letters from Harry every 3 days.
He started writing as soon as he got back to his room. He knew that there was so much he wanted to say and apologize for. He figured he'd start with Ron, thinking that in some ways, that letter would be the hardest.
Dear Ron:
How's your summer going? Mine is pretty good. I am at Hogwarts for the summer. It is strange being here in the summer with no other students around, of course, anyplace is better than the Dursleys!
I am at Hogwarts to learn what I should've learned last year, but didn't. I don't want another incident like the one that happened during the History of Magic O.W.L. I'm sorry for leading you & your sister (please pass my apologies onto her) into danger that night. You've been my best friend since that first train ride to Hogwart's. You deserve a better friend, one that doesn't put your life in danger time and again. As I said, I am doing everything I can this summer to make sure it doesn't happen again. I hope that you and your family can forgive me. I understand if you know longer what to be friends.
Bye-
Harry
Harry was getting upset just at the thought that his friends might not forgive him. There were so many times that he felt like he was alone, he hoped that that feeling wouldn't soon become a reality. He quickly shook that thought off as he started his next letter.
Dear Hermione:
In case you haven't heard (or tried to contact me but couldn't), I'm at Hogwarts for the summer!!!
Believe it or not, almost all of my homework is completed. That is mostly due to the fact that I was bored at the Dursley's and needed something to keep me from thinking about that night at the Ministry of Magic.
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you regarding my 'saving-people-thing'. You were right, I should have listened to you. It was a trap. I am sorry that I put everyone in danger. I'm just glad that none of you were hurt. It is difficult enough trying to deal with Sirius's death, I don't know if I could've handled it if you, Ron, Ginny, Luna or Neville were seriously hurt or killed.
It could've been such a disaster, all because I didn't learn what I what I should have learned last year. Maybe Snape was right and I am arrogant, thinking that I know best and not asking (and often not accepting) help from others. I am here this summer for lessons. I've looked at some books in the library on this subject, even though must of them are really old and don't seem to be much help. I am determined to master this art (as someone calls it). Hopefully I will never have or believe another vision after this summer.
Anyways, I hope you forgive me for not listening to you and for putting you in danger. I'll understand if you don't want to be friends any more (friends don't put other friends in danger).
Harry
Harry had no problem admitting that Hermione was right, for she often was. No, the problem came with writing that last paragraph. He never thought about how much Hermione meant to him, and how much he appreciated her guidance, until there was a chance that it might not be there in the future for him to utilize. Just the thought of his sixth year without his two best friends by his side was starting to make him feel sick.
Next he wrote letters to Neville and Luna. Once more apologizing for putting them in danger. He didn't mention his failure to learn occlumency last year, since they did not know that he was supposed to. He put his hope in the letters that his friends wouldn't be mad at him, and that they would forgive his error in judgment that caused Sirius's and almost theirs as well. He also thanked Luna for the conversation they had when everyone else was at the leaving feast, strange as it seemed, that conversation had made him feel better.
Harry really didn't have an opportunity to talk with his friends before the end of the school year, and even if he had, Harry definitely wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not about that night. After the letters were finished, he sent Hedwig to deliver them, with instructions to deliver Hermione's last and in case she wanted to reply.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Most of his free time was spent reading in either the library or in his room. He really wanted to finish reading "The Magic of Adoption", but he couldn't find it anywhere. It wasn't on the shelf where it belonged, nor was it still hidden under the other books by the table in the corner that he used the other day. The only thing he could think of was that someone lse was reading it as well, but who? And why? The only people in the castle (other than the house elves and Harry) were, Snape, Remus & Professor Dumbledore. He just hopes that whoever has it doesn't connect it with him.
He wished he could talk to Hermione about Sirius's letter (assuming that she was not upset with him about that night at the M.O.M.). But this was definitely not something you would write in an owl, in case the owl got intercepted. Oh, Merlin, Harry thought, if that owl did get intercepted, the news that Harry Potter was adopted by Lily & James would be on the front page news of every wizarding paper.. He could imagine the headlines, Harry would no longer be the orphan Boy-Who-Lived, but instead would become "the Boy-Who-Nobody-Wanted", Snape would have a field day with that on, Harry was sure.
Maybe he could contact Hermione about the charms he was researching. Most of the chapters he read were on appearance charms. There were charms for everything from changing your eye/hair color to covering warts or scars. He really wanted to end the charms on his appearance, since this could be the only clue he'll have to finding out who his parents were. Even if it was a long shot, since he was adopted in Sweden and most likely his parents were not anyone he knew or even anyone he would know about.
However, he was successful in finding out about delayed delivery charms. This is a charm that will deliver a letter at a certain date/time that the castor indicates. He decided to test it by writing an early birthday card to Hermione and setting it to be delivered on September 19. He also found another charm 'posthumowlous', which is the one he thinks Sirius used to deliver his letter last week. The item charmed with this spell will be delivered after the death of the castor (can also be delayed to be delivered a certain time after his/her death).
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Thursday morning at breakfast, Harry was met with 3 owls and 6 letters. Hedwig was back with 4 letters. Four? Harry thought, wondering who they were from. And there were 2 owls he didn't recognize, each with one letter which he assumed were from Neville and Luna.
"Popular this morning, aren't we Potter? Letters from your fan club, I assume?
"No sir, just replies from my friends."
'At least I hope they're still my friends,' Harry mumbled under his breath, undetected by all but Remus.
Harry decided to wait to read the letters until after occlumency. He didn't want to read them in front of his professors, in case his friends were mad at him, and wouldn't forgive him.
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Back in his room after his lesson with Snape, Harry opened one of the letters from Hedwig:
Harry,
Ron passed on your message to me, actually, he let me read the entire letter (sorry, but I think the whole family read it).
There is no need to apologize, but of course I forgive you. Going with you that night, to help you save someone you loved, was the least I could do after you saved my life 3 years ago. No friend would let you go alone, in fact, if you remember, you tried to stop us from going with you. You tried to protect us. There is no reason for us (or anyone) to be upset with you, and most certainly no reason to throw away a friendship (or family).
I'm thinking that maybe we should continue the D.A. It helped all of us that night, and I'm sure helped everyone with their O.W.L.S or N.E.W.T.S. I know that myself and Luna aren't as worried about our DADA O.W.L.S. next year because of you & your lessons. Now if only we could have something similar in transfigurations or charms and definitely in potions (without Snape we might actually learn something!).
Well, I have to go now. Ron's finished with his letter and is waiting for me to complete mine so he can send them off with Hedwig.
Have a great summer! Maybe you can take a break from studying and come for a visit.
Love,
Ginny
Harry felt better after reading Ginny's letter, glad that she forgave him, even if it was partly due to the fact that he saved her life. The next letter he opened was from Ron:
Harry,
Don't be such a git! Don't worry about that night at the M.O.M., there is nothing to apologize for, but since you feel you must, then you are forgiven. All of us went willingly and would do so again.
Have you heard how the Cannons are doing? I would love to go see a game, this is the best they've done in years.
It looked like Ron was going to describe every game in detail, so Harry skipped over the next two paragraphs about the Cannons, before he continued to read:
I'm glad you're away from those muggles! I know you never had fun over the summer with them. The school has to be better than that (though I suspect it's a bit lonely). I hope Snape isn't there ruining your summer. If he is, hopefully you can just ignore him, or maybe play some pranks on him? I'm sure Fred and George would be glad to help you out, and since it's summer, you wouldn't be breaking any rules. And best of all, Snape couldn't give you detention or take house points!
Maybe you can come to the Burrow for your birthday, if not hopefully we can meet at Diagon Alley to get our supplies (like we do every year). I'll see if Mum can owl Dumbledore to ask about your birthday.
Ron
P.S. Maybe you can use this time at the school to go exploring for more secret passages or hidden rooms.
P.P.S. You just had to tell Hermione that you were almost finished with your homework, didn't you. She sent me a letter with Hedwig, wanting to know how much homework I have finished so far. She'll probably send me a howler when she gets my reply that I haven't even started.
Typical Ron response, Harry thought, barely mentioning the Ministry of Magic incident, but going on for two paragraphs about the Cannons. He really is a great friend, Harry thought, even if he had, know how did Hermione put it, oh yeah, the emotional range of a teaspoon. Feeling better now that 2 people have forgiven him, Harry opened a third letter:
HARRY JAMES POTTER! How dare you think that we wouldn't be friends with you because of that. What were you thinking? I would think that you would have a better opinion of your friends than that. Of course we still want to be friends with you. In fact, we are probably closer friends than we were before, similar to the troll incident in our first year, there are some things you can't share with out ending up closer than before.
Stop blaming yourself for that night. We all went willingly to help. We knew how much Sirius meant to you, and since you mean so much to us, if there was anything we could've done to help you or him, we wouldn't hesitate to do it.
I'm sorry for what I said about 'saving people thing'. The fact that you care so much is one of the things that I admire most about you. I started thinking about what if it was one of my parents in danger or taken by Voldemort, I would've done the same thing you did, and I would've wanted my friends there with me to help.
There's a lot of things we could have done differently (I can't believe I forgot about Professor Snape!), though we did try contacting Sirius first, so we weren't acting completely irresponsible. We'll just have to learn from our mistakes. I'm glad to hear that you are taking lessons again (and are taking them more seriously). I 'm sure it will help. I'll have to do some research and see if I can find anything that will help you understand occlumency better. I wanted to find out more about it anyways (I think it's a fascinating 'art'), but didn't have time, since I was preparing for our O.W.L.S.
I can't wait to get our O.W.L. results. How do you think you did? I hope I did well. I really want to take NEWT potions and transfigurations. I'm sure NEWT Charms would be fascinating as well. I'm sure I did well on DADA, thanks to you and the DA, without the DA it would've been a disaster.
Love,
Hermione
Hermione is the only person he knew who could scold him via a letter, well, maybe Mrs. Weasley as well, Harry thought, remembering the howler from the beginning of his second year. Hermione knew him so well. Reading the letter from Hermione, Harry once again wished he could talk to her about the adoption. He knew that she would understand everything that he was thinking and feeling, and since she did know him so well, she would give great advice and would be able to help him feel better about everything. After reading the first three letters, he did feel bad that he underestimated his friends and questioned their forgiveness. Oh well, he thought, might as well read the rest of the letters.
The fourth letter that Hedwig brought was from Mrs. Weasley. He was right, she could scold you via a letter, even without it being a howler. She said a lot of the same things Hermione and Ginny had, adding that he was like one of her sons. She could no more forget him, then she could one of her own children. She ended the letter saying that she was going to contact Professor Dumbledore to see if Harry could come to the burrow for a few days to spend some time with 'his family'. Harry was glad that she considered him a member of his family. He loved being a part of the Weasley family, even if it was as an honorary member. He hoped that someday he could have an actual family, and not just a borrowed one.
The letters from Neville and Luna also mentioned that there was nothing to forgive and that he could count on them for friendship and anything else he needed. Neville's letter was timid, kind of like Neville himself, as if he thought that Harry might not want his friendship, even though Harry had mentioned that he hoped Neville will forgive him and continue to be his friend. Luna's letter had a dreamy quality about it, similar to the impression one has when speaking with Luna in person. Who would think that this same sentiment was possible to be portrayed in a letter?
Harry was glad that he used his Gryffindor courage to write the letters to his friends and ask for their forgiveness, now he won't be worrying about how they will react when the new school term starts. The letters from his friends and Mrs. Weasley made him feel less alone, it helped reinforce that people cared about him, that not everyone who loved him had died.
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On Friday, Harry decided to write responses to the letters he received. He quickly wrote letters back to Luna, Neville, and Ginny, thanking them for their friendship and forgiveness. He mentioned a bit about what he was doing to keep himself occupied at school this summer (flying, walking around lake, studying & reading-he just didn't mention that he was reading books about adoption & appearance charms). He closed the letters saying that he couldn't wait to see them on September 1. He also sent a reply to Mrs. Weasley thanking her as well and telling her how much he appreciated her family and was glad that she considered him a part of it.
The letters to Ron & Hermione were a bit more involved.
Ron
It's not too bad here, pretty quiet though. I think Hermione will be jealous once she finds out that I have the whole library to myself (still can't go into the restricted section, though). You would probably like the kitchens. With only a few of us here, the house elves go overboard when you ask for something to eat. Moony & I asked for lunch for 2 the other day, we ended up with enough food for 10 people, plus pudding!
Snape is here, but we try not to spend more time together than we need to, so mostly just lessons and meals. Actually, he hasn't been that bad (by Snape standards). Still sarcastic and mean, but mostly keeping his comments to my intelligence (or lack of intelligence in his opinion), with only the occasional slur about my father.
Haven't found any secret passages yet, but I will continue looking.
Well, that's it for now. Write back soon, maybe it'll help the summer pass by quicker.
Harry
Dear Hermione
You would love it here right now (more than you do during the school year), I have the whole library to myself.
Lessons in OC are helping to keep me occupied, if nothing else, I don't seem to be making much progress. I am taking lessons every morning for 2.5 hours with the same instructor as before. While not being nice, it seems like most of his derogatory comments are aimed at my intelligence (or lack thereof, to be more accurate) and my inability to make much progress in learning 'the art of OC'.
I really wish you were here right now. I have a research project that I am involved with and I could really use your expertise. If I haven't figured it out by September, I'll need you to help me, since that would mean that I would have spent 2 months on it and still didn't find the answers I needed.
Can't wait to see you September 1. Let me know when you guys are going to Diagon Alley, and I'll see if I can join you.
Harry
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End Chapter 8
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This is my first fanfic, so any feedback is appreciated.
Now how many of you thought this was the chapter with his owl results?
I was reading the 'requirements' for the severitus challenge the other day...it never said that Harry OR Snape had to find out about HP's 'true' parentage-just a thought-kidding, I wouldn't do that to you, what's the fun in that, but still, an interesting thought...
the emotional range of a teaspoon Line spoken by HG, I believe it is in GOF speaking about RW...
there are some things you can't share with out ending up closer than before paraphrase from SS p.179, actual line 'can't share w/o ending up liking each other'
OC since Harry couldn't mention occlumency by name, he came up with this code, knowing that Hermione would understand what he was talking about (notice that he didn't try this with Ron?)
10/6/2004