A/N: Thank you to people who reviewed. It's great to get feedback. As to getting a beta reader as someone suggested – well I don't know anyone to help me out – besides the grammar isn't THAT bad......is it?
Chapter Five
A First Touch and A Decision
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Three days passed and Hermione had not heard from Lockhart. She had been thinking about him a lot though. Walking through the corridors to her classes his face would drift into her mind. Lying in bed at night she imagined what it would be like to have him hold her. At meal times she would glance hopefully up at the teachers table thinking that maybe he was looking at her too, but his gaze was never in her direction. He looked distant, removed from the chatter around him. Only Dumbledore and occasionally Professor McGonagall would comment something to him to which he would reply but make no attempt at conversation.
Hermione sat on her bed carefully brushing her hair before she went to sleep. Lavender was not in yet which was lucky as the two girls had been avoiding each other since the bet was made, apart from a few snide comments from Lavender. Hermione turned and looked at herself in the mirror. Large chocolate brown eyes with long dark lashes looked sadly back at her. She had been so sure Lockhart would have called her for a meeting by now. Although the thought of seeing him again caused a rise in her heartrate and that tight feeling in her chest she still badly wanted to be alone in his presence.
"Who are you kidding" she told her reflection. "What makes you think Lockhart even thought anything of you in the first place?".
Hermione's new found confidence had ebbed away with every moment that she hadn't heard from Lockhart.
"I'm behaving like a stupid school girl with a crush again" she thought, angry at herself.
"Besides, Lockhart is a teacher he wouldn't be allowed to date a student even if he did like me".
Sighing she crawled into bed, first checking her alarm. It had been working perfectly but it was charms again first thing tomorrow and Hermione was definitely going to be on time.
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She opened her eyes. Everything was dark but she could hear someone near her bed. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light she could make out a figure bending over her table.
"Lavender! What are you doing?" said Hermione loudly sitting up in bed and pusihing her hair off her face.
Lavender's head shot up suddenly.
"Uh ...uh just getting a drink of water" she awkawrdly hurrying over to the basin. "I was seeing if you had a glass on your table".
"So that's why my alarm didn't go off last week" thought Hermione angrily. "Lavender is so awful, I used to think she was my friend but some friend she's turned out to be".
It was 5:45am and she knew she would never be able to sleep now. Laying her head back down on her pillow she looked up at the ceiling feeling utterly miserable, until the first grey fingers of dawn slid into the room.
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In contrast to her last charms lesson Hermione was seated at her desk a good five minute before anyone else had even come into the room. Her hair was pulled up at the back and she had allowed the rest to fall loosely around her shoulders. She had even once again borrowed some of Lavender's less lurid lipstick that morning. Feeling slightly silly she had put it on in front of the mirror wondering why when she knew that everything was fruitless, and Lockhart would never like someone as plain as her, lipstick or no lipstick. The feeling of glamour from her visit to the hairdressers was fast wearing off.
The door opened and a good looking Ravenclaw boy who Hermione vaguely remembered was called Ashley, walked in. He looked rather nervous she thought. Ashely walked hesitantly over to where Hermione was seated.
"Ah...Hermione....um..I was...um kind of wondering if you'd like to go for a drink together after school tomorrow?" he asked.
Hermione was completely taken aback. Before she had any time to even consider the offer she heard herself saying
"Ah, ah no thanks".
"Ok, yeah sure, no worries...sorry" said Ashley going rather red. He rushed quickly to the other side of the room, sat down and took out a book, pretending to read it.
Hermione couldn't believe what had just happened.
"I was asked on a date!" she whispered to herself. "Did that all just happen or were you day dreaming?"
She was still trying to analyse things and didn't notice that the rest of the class had come in.
"Good morning class" said Lockhart's voice.
Hermione's head jerked up. Lockhart stood at the front of the class in his usual black robes. He was wearing the glasses she had seen him in when she went to his room. That overwhelming feeling of attraction spread through her again. She was powerless to control it and in all honesty she didn't think that she wanted to. The lesson went by quickly. Lockhart did not once look in Hermione's direction and she did not once offer an answer to any of his questions.
At the end of the class Hermione slowly gathered up her things as the last few people left the room.
"Miss Granger" said Lockhart's voice.
Hermione's breath caught in her throat.
"Would it be possible for you to meet me sometime today to discuss some plans I have for the seventh formers. I understand that you have been appointed my student liaison". Lockhart said.
He didn't sound too pleased by this Hermione thought.
"Of course, what time would suit you?" Hermione asked trying to keep her voice neutral.
"Would straight after dinner be suitable?"
"That would be fine".
"I'll see you then Miss Granger" said Lockhart walking out of the room without giving her a second glance.
Hermione stood beside her desk for a few moments feeling awful. It was clear Lockhart had no interest in her whatsoever, and in fact he seemed to even dislike her.
"Hey Hermione what's going on?" asked Harry's voice as he and Ron walked back into the room.
Harry and Ron had been busy the last three days and Hermione hadn't had a chance to speak to them apart from a few words a dinner. Harry had been caught up in training the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the upcoming match against Slytherin and Ron had been busy with his new girlfriend, a Hufflepuff girl, which Harry thought was very funny.
"I have to meet with Lockhart this evening" said Hermione dolefully.
"Great!" said Ron giving her a big grin.
"What's the matter?" asked Harry noticing Hermione's miserable expression.
"Lockhart hates me. This is crazy like I said before, it will never work".
"Why would you think he hates you?" asked Ron.
"He never even looks at me in class, and before he sounded really annoyed that I had been assigned to him" Hermione replied in an even more unhappy voice. "He doesn't ask me any questions, it's like he's totally avoiding me".
"Hermione" said Harry cheerfully "Don't you realise that's the best sign ever. It means he's deliberately ignoring you because he can't stop thinking about you."
"Harry, has it ever crossed your mind that even if Lockhart did like me there's no way he could go out with me, it's against the rules for students and teachers to be involved that way".
"Who cares" said Ron "No one would have to know. I mean you're almost eighteen Hermione, you won't be a student much longer."
"Hey I almost forgot to tell you" said Hermione sounding better "Ashley that Ravenclaw guy asked me out before charms".
"Wow what did you say" Ron asked "Heaps of girls are after him" he added sounding impressed. That type of thing was important to Ron.
"I said no" said Hermione. "It was probably a dare or something I mean seriously why would he actually want to go out with me?"
"Well, in case you hadn't noticed you are looking pretty nice at the moment" said Harry not sounding too happy.
"Hahah ok thanks Harry" said Hermione laughing. "Whatever you say". She didn't notice Harry's expression but Ron did. He looked upset.
"So tonight with Lockhart" said Ron conspiratorially. "Go get him girl!"
Somehow Ashley asking her out had made her feel better Hermione thought. She didn't feel so depressed and realised that although Lockhart appeared to dislike her she was still looking forward to seeing him again.
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Hermione once again stood outside Lockhart's door with a beating heart. There was astrange sense of deja vue as she knocked and his voice told her to come in. The evening with Lockhart went by in a blur. Hermione found it difficult to concentrate on what he was saying. Being in a room alone with him was intoxicating. At first Lockhart's manner was similar to that in class, but as they discussed his ideas for a charms study group at which seventh formers could meet for discussion, he seemed to forget his icy demeanor and his voice changed and became warm and animated. At one point Hermione made a comment and they found themselves laughing together. He was so different to when he had been the arrogant defence against the dark arts teacher. He was funny, and smart as well she thought. All to soon Lockhart was saying
"Thank you Miss Granger for your input tonight. Could we meet again perhaps tomorrow night to continue our planning?"
Hermione couldn't remember exactly what she said, some assent to this plan she hoped. She found herself back in her room without actually remembering how she had got there. Lockhart had been so witty and charming once he had seemed to forget himself she thought. The way his hair fell over his eyes when he was engrossed and leaning over reading something, and his amazing smile caused tiny tingles through her body when she remembered them. Hermione realised that she was in love with Lockhart. This was no crush, no silly girlish thought. The feelings she had were too deep, too strong for that.
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In the next week and a half Hermione met with Lockhart three more times to discuss the charms group. Although they talked about school, and charms, there was never any personal content to their discussions. Hermione couldn't stop thinking about him. The hours between their meetings seemed an eternity. Last night as she was leaving Lockhart had called out to her
"Hermione, wait you've forgotten this draft you were going to read over".
Hermione breath drew in sharply as she hearid him call her by her first name. He had never done that before, it has always been "Miss Granger". She turned around and walked back into the room. Lockhart was standing by the table with an almost surprised expression on his face. Without a word he held out the papers to her. Hermione reached out for them and as she took them her fingers rested on his. For a moment their hands lay there, touching, and then he pulled his hand away. Lockhart looked up at her she saw something in his eyes that reflected back her own feelings.
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The next day walking down the corridor to transfiguration Hermione had heard Harry calling her name.
It seemed that everywhere she went these days either Harry or Ron were there hasing her and trying to find out what the latest update with Lockhart was.
"Hermione! Are you deaf, I was yelling out to you for ages".
"Sorry Harry I seriously didn't hear you" she said. Her mind had been lost in thoughts of her next meeting with Lockhart.
"How are things going with Lockhart?" asked Harry
"Oh, yeah, fine I think" said Hermione in an uninterested voice.
"Fine are they?" said Lavender's voice behind them.
Harry and Hermione turned around to see Lavender and Parvati walking towards them.
"You know Hermione the bet wasn't that you had to ask Lockhart out when you're fifty. It was meaning this term" said Lavender meanly.
"Yeah and she's going to. Lockhart is really in love with her" countered Harry.
Hermione didn't say anything. For some reason talking about the bet made her feel uncomfortable. It surprised her when she realised that she hadn't even thought about the bet in the past week. Discussing it now felt wrong, the whole bet felt wrong.
"Aren't you Hermione?" asked Harry nudging her.
"Um yeah, yeah of course" she replied.
"Lockhart in love with her" said Lavender to Parvati. "I'll believe that when I see it".
Parvati didn't say anything a strange expression on her face.
"Right Parvati?" said Lavender nudging her.
"Of course" Parvati answered with a wide smile as Lavneder pulled her off down the corridor leaving Hermione and Harry alone.
"So actually ...how is it going?" asked Harry. "I don't want to go on about it constantly but maybe you should speed things up a bit. I mean you've been meeting with him practically everyday".
"Ok, ok so don't go on about it then" snapped Hermione. "I'm doing this for you remember" she said walking off, trying not to see Harry's hurt expression.
Thinking about it later Hermione knew that she wanted more than a friendship with Lockhart. She felt like she was in love with him. It was that stupid bet. She didn't want her feelings for Lockhart to be related to that. It cheapened things somehow.
"There's nothing you can do about that now though" she thought to herself. "You can't let Harry down after everything he's done for you".
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Gilderoy Lockhart lay in his bed, wide awake. It was 3am in the morning but sleep had not come easily of late. The past few days had been so enjoyable, meeting with Hermione so often. The conversations between them, although only about school related subjects had been funny and interesting. Lockhart hadn't realised the pleasure in talking to someone that was really intelligent. In his arrogant past he had always dated girls for their looks and had never listened to what they had to say, too busy hearing his own self important words. Not that Hermione's physical appearance didn't attract him as well. She was stunning he thought. It still shocked him how fast he had flallen for her – since that first time he had looked into her eyes he had been powerless against the force of his attraction. Suddenly he felt a sick feeling in his stomach.
"Gilderoy, you can't do this" he thought. "Remember your promise. You don't deserve anything like this and you can't act upon it. Besides Hermione is a student, it would be against all school principles for you to be attracted to her".
Lockhart closed his eyes feeling misery well up inside him. It was not a new feeling and in some way he welcomed it, it was all he deserved he thought.
"I must stop things now" he decided.
But the feeling of Hermione's fingers on his and the look in her eyes the last time they met wouldn't leave his mind. Touching her had felt like electricity going through him. Her remembered calling out her name and the look on her face. It had felt so good. "All the more reason why things must end here" said that cold voice inside him.
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Chapter Five
A First Touch and A Decision
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Three days passed and Hermione had not heard from Lockhart. She had been thinking about him a lot though. Walking through the corridors to her classes his face would drift into her mind. Lying in bed at night she imagined what it would be like to have him hold her. At meal times she would glance hopefully up at the teachers table thinking that maybe he was looking at her too, but his gaze was never in her direction. He looked distant, removed from the chatter around him. Only Dumbledore and occasionally Professor McGonagall would comment something to him to which he would reply but make no attempt at conversation.
Hermione sat on her bed carefully brushing her hair before she went to sleep. Lavender was not in yet which was lucky as the two girls had been avoiding each other since the bet was made, apart from a few snide comments from Lavender. Hermione turned and looked at herself in the mirror. Large chocolate brown eyes with long dark lashes looked sadly back at her. She had been so sure Lockhart would have called her for a meeting by now. Although the thought of seeing him again caused a rise in her heartrate and that tight feeling in her chest she still badly wanted to be alone in his presence.
"Who are you kidding" she told her reflection. "What makes you think Lockhart even thought anything of you in the first place?".
Hermione's new found confidence had ebbed away with every moment that she hadn't heard from Lockhart.
"I'm behaving like a stupid school girl with a crush again" she thought, angry at herself.
"Besides, Lockhart is a teacher he wouldn't be allowed to date a student even if he did like me".
Sighing she crawled into bed, first checking her alarm. It had been working perfectly but it was charms again first thing tomorrow and Hermione was definitely going to be on time.
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She opened her eyes. Everything was dark but she could hear someone near her bed. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light she could make out a figure bending over her table.
"Lavender! What are you doing?" said Hermione loudly sitting up in bed and pusihing her hair off her face.
Lavender's head shot up suddenly.
"Uh ...uh just getting a drink of water" she awkawrdly hurrying over to the basin. "I was seeing if you had a glass on your table".
"So that's why my alarm didn't go off last week" thought Hermione angrily. "Lavender is so awful, I used to think she was my friend but some friend she's turned out to be".
It was 5:45am and she knew she would never be able to sleep now. Laying her head back down on her pillow she looked up at the ceiling feeling utterly miserable, until the first grey fingers of dawn slid into the room.
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In contrast to her last charms lesson Hermione was seated at her desk a good five minute before anyone else had even come into the room. Her hair was pulled up at the back and she had allowed the rest to fall loosely around her shoulders. She had even once again borrowed some of Lavender's less lurid lipstick that morning. Feeling slightly silly she had put it on in front of the mirror wondering why when she knew that everything was fruitless, and Lockhart would never like someone as plain as her, lipstick or no lipstick. The feeling of glamour from her visit to the hairdressers was fast wearing off.
The door opened and a good looking Ravenclaw boy who Hermione vaguely remembered was called Ashley, walked in. He looked rather nervous she thought. Ashely walked hesitantly over to where Hermione was seated.
"Ah...Hermione....um..I was...um kind of wondering if you'd like to go for a drink together after school tomorrow?" he asked.
Hermione was completely taken aback. Before she had any time to even consider the offer she heard herself saying
"Ah, ah no thanks".
"Ok, yeah sure, no worries...sorry" said Ashley going rather red. He rushed quickly to the other side of the room, sat down and took out a book, pretending to read it.
Hermione couldn't believe what had just happened.
"I was asked on a date!" she whispered to herself. "Did that all just happen or were you day dreaming?"
She was still trying to analyse things and didn't notice that the rest of the class had come in.
"Good morning class" said Lockhart's voice.
Hermione's head jerked up. Lockhart stood at the front of the class in his usual black robes. He was wearing the glasses she had seen him in when she went to his room. That overwhelming feeling of attraction spread through her again. She was powerless to control it and in all honesty she didn't think that she wanted to. The lesson went by quickly. Lockhart did not once look in Hermione's direction and she did not once offer an answer to any of his questions.
At the end of the class Hermione slowly gathered up her things as the last few people left the room.
"Miss Granger" said Lockhart's voice.
Hermione's breath caught in her throat.
"Would it be possible for you to meet me sometime today to discuss some plans I have for the seventh formers. I understand that you have been appointed my student liaison". Lockhart said.
He didn't sound too pleased by this Hermione thought.
"Of course, what time would suit you?" Hermione asked trying to keep her voice neutral.
"Would straight after dinner be suitable?"
"That would be fine".
"I'll see you then Miss Granger" said Lockhart walking out of the room without giving her a second glance.
Hermione stood beside her desk for a few moments feeling awful. It was clear Lockhart had no interest in her whatsoever, and in fact he seemed to even dislike her.
"Hey Hermione what's going on?" asked Harry's voice as he and Ron walked back into the room.
Harry and Ron had been busy the last three days and Hermione hadn't had a chance to speak to them apart from a few words a dinner. Harry had been caught up in training the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the upcoming match against Slytherin and Ron had been busy with his new girlfriend, a Hufflepuff girl, which Harry thought was very funny.
"I have to meet with Lockhart this evening" said Hermione dolefully.
"Great!" said Ron giving her a big grin.
"What's the matter?" asked Harry noticing Hermione's miserable expression.
"Lockhart hates me. This is crazy like I said before, it will never work".
"Why would you think he hates you?" asked Ron.
"He never even looks at me in class, and before he sounded really annoyed that I had been assigned to him" Hermione replied in an even more unhappy voice. "He doesn't ask me any questions, it's like he's totally avoiding me".
"Hermione" said Harry cheerfully "Don't you realise that's the best sign ever. It means he's deliberately ignoring you because he can't stop thinking about you."
"Harry, has it ever crossed your mind that even if Lockhart did like me there's no way he could go out with me, it's against the rules for students and teachers to be involved that way".
"Who cares" said Ron "No one would have to know. I mean you're almost eighteen Hermione, you won't be a student much longer."
"Hey I almost forgot to tell you" said Hermione sounding better "Ashley that Ravenclaw guy asked me out before charms".
"Wow what did you say" Ron asked "Heaps of girls are after him" he added sounding impressed. That type of thing was important to Ron.
"I said no" said Hermione. "It was probably a dare or something I mean seriously why would he actually want to go out with me?"
"Well, in case you hadn't noticed you are looking pretty nice at the moment" said Harry not sounding too happy.
"Hahah ok thanks Harry" said Hermione laughing. "Whatever you say". She didn't notice Harry's expression but Ron did. He looked upset.
"So tonight with Lockhart" said Ron conspiratorially. "Go get him girl!"
Somehow Ashley asking her out had made her feel better Hermione thought. She didn't feel so depressed and realised that although Lockhart appeared to dislike her she was still looking forward to seeing him again.
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Hermione once again stood outside Lockhart's door with a beating heart. There was astrange sense of deja vue as she knocked and his voice told her to come in. The evening with Lockhart went by in a blur. Hermione found it difficult to concentrate on what he was saying. Being in a room alone with him was intoxicating. At first Lockhart's manner was similar to that in class, but as they discussed his ideas for a charms study group at which seventh formers could meet for discussion, he seemed to forget his icy demeanor and his voice changed and became warm and animated. At one point Hermione made a comment and they found themselves laughing together. He was so different to when he had been the arrogant defence against the dark arts teacher. He was funny, and smart as well she thought. All to soon Lockhart was saying
"Thank you Miss Granger for your input tonight. Could we meet again perhaps tomorrow night to continue our planning?"
Hermione couldn't remember exactly what she said, some assent to this plan she hoped. She found herself back in her room without actually remembering how she had got there. Lockhart had been so witty and charming once he had seemed to forget himself she thought. The way his hair fell over his eyes when he was engrossed and leaning over reading something, and his amazing smile caused tiny tingles through her body when she remembered them. Hermione realised that she was in love with Lockhart. This was no crush, no silly girlish thought. The feelings she had were too deep, too strong for that.
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In the next week and a half Hermione met with Lockhart three more times to discuss the charms group. Although they talked about school, and charms, there was never any personal content to their discussions. Hermione couldn't stop thinking about him. The hours between their meetings seemed an eternity. Last night as she was leaving Lockhart had called out to her
"Hermione, wait you've forgotten this draft you were going to read over".
Hermione breath drew in sharply as she hearid him call her by her first name. He had never done that before, it has always been "Miss Granger". She turned around and walked back into the room. Lockhart was standing by the table with an almost surprised expression on his face. Without a word he held out the papers to her. Hermione reached out for them and as she took them her fingers rested on his. For a moment their hands lay there, touching, and then he pulled his hand away. Lockhart looked up at her she saw something in his eyes that reflected back her own feelings.
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The next day walking down the corridor to transfiguration Hermione had heard Harry calling her name.
It seemed that everywhere she went these days either Harry or Ron were there hasing her and trying to find out what the latest update with Lockhart was.
"Hermione! Are you deaf, I was yelling out to you for ages".
"Sorry Harry I seriously didn't hear you" she said. Her mind had been lost in thoughts of her next meeting with Lockhart.
"How are things going with Lockhart?" asked Harry
"Oh, yeah, fine I think" said Hermione in an uninterested voice.
"Fine are they?" said Lavender's voice behind them.
Harry and Hermione turned around to see Lavender and Parvati walking towards them.
"You know Hermione the bet wasn't that you had to ask Lockhart out when you're fifty. It was meaning this term" said Lavender meanly.
"Yeah and she's going to. Lockhart is really in love with her" countered Harry.
Hermione didn't say anything. For some reason talking about the bet made her feel uncomfortable. It surprised her when she realised that she hadn't even thought about the bet in the past week. Discussing it now felt wrong, the whole bet felt wrong.
"Aren't you Hermione?" asked Harry nudging her.
"Um yeah, yeah of course" she replied.
"Lockhart in love with her" said Lavender to Parvati. "I'll believe that when I see it".
Parvati didn't say anything a strange expression on her face.
"Right Parvati?" said Lavender nudging her.
"Of course" Parvati answered with a wide smile as Lavneder pulled her off down the corridor leaving Hermione and Harry alone.
"So actually ...how is it going?" asked Harry. "I don't want to go on about it constantly but maybe you should speed things up a bit. I mean you've been meeting with him practically everyday".
"Ok, ok so don't go on about it then" snapped Hermione. "I'm doing this for you remember" she said walking off, trying not to see Harry's hurt expression.
Thinking about it later Hermione knew that she wanted more than a friendship with Lockhart. She felt like she was in love with him. It was that stupid bet. She didn't want her feelings for Lockhart to be related to that. It cheapened things somehow.
"There's nothing you can do about that now though" she thought to herself. "You can't let Harry down after everything he's done for you".
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Gilderoy Lockhart lay in his bed, wide awake. It was 3am in the morning but sleep had not come easily of late. The past few days had been so enjoyable, meeting with Hermione so often. The conversations between them, although only about school related subjects had been funny and interesting. Lockhart hadn't realised the pleasure in talking to someone that was really intelligent. In his arrogant past he had always dated girls for their looks and had never listened to what they had to say, too busy hearing his own self important words. Not that Hermione's physical appearance didn't attract him as well. She was stunning he thought. It still shocked him how fast he had flallen for her – since that first time he had looked into her eyes he had been powerless against the force of his attraction. Suddenly he felt a sick feeling in his stomach.
"Gilderoy, you can't do this" he thought. "Remember your promise. You don't deserve anything like this and you can't act upon it. Besides Hermione is a student, it would be against all school principles for you to be attracted to her".
Lockhart closed his eyes feeling misery well up inside him. It was not a new feeling and in some way he welcomed it, it was all he deserved he thought.
"I must stop things now" he decided.
But the feeling of Hermione's fingers on his and the look in her eyes the last time they met wouldn't leave his mind. Touching her had felt like electricity going through him. Her remembered calling out her name and the look on her face. It had felt so good. "All the more reason why things must end here" said that cold voice inside him.
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