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Chapter 14 he's not ready

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Remus took the seat across from Harry in the living section of Harry's rooms. Remus handed Harry the letter addressed to him from Sirius, for Harry to read. Likewise, Harry handed Remus the much longer letter he received from Sirius.

As Remus started reading, Harry put Remus's letter away. He was much more concerned about Remus's reaction to his adoption. Harry watched Moony's face as he read the letter, trying to decipher the emotions that were portrayed there: surprise, sadness, shock, anger, hurt, disappointment.

Anger and hurt, Harry reflected, that can't be a good omen.

When Remus finished reading the letter, he looked up at Harry and said, "So, that's why you were looking up appearance charms."

"Well, yeah," Harry said, surprised that that was the first comment Remus made. "I figured since I was adopted but looked so much like James, there had to be a reason; the most obvious one would be an appearance charm, especially since Lily was so talented in charms."

"Have you tried any of the reversal spells?"

"Every single one I could find, at least twice." Harry paused then continued, "I'm beginning to think that Lily used an advanced charm set to a password."

Remus's heart twinged, hearing Harry address his parents as James & Lily, but he could understand why, so he decided not to mention it for now.

"I also don't understand why Moody didn't notice any charms on me, or if he did notice why he didn't say anything."

"Hmm, if he did notice, he would have said something to Professor Dumbledore, he wouldn't have mentioned it to you. You can always ask the headmaster if Moody did so."

"Merlin, no." Harry said. "I admitted that the headmaster and I are getting along better and that I am not angry with him anymore, but I am not ready for him to learn about this yet. It took me over 2 weeks to talk to you, and that was more because you asked than the fact that I was ready to talk about it."

"Then, I'm guessing you don't want to ask Alastor?" Remus shook his head at the glare Harry pointed in his direction; his cub was definitely spending too much time with Severus in the dungeon. "There are some appearance charms that are undetected by magical means, including Moody's eye."

"So, how can we find out what this charm is and how to end it?"

"Have you looked in the library?"

"Moony," Harry's voice sang out in a 'hello, anyone home' kind of way.

"Oh, right. That's pretty much where you've been since you came back to Hogwarts, other than your rooms that is."

"I took some books on charms back to my room so I could do more research without being interrupted."

"Speaking of that, what book were you reading that first day when I interrupted you? I know it wasn't the occlumency book that you had in front of you, that book was upside down."

"Oops," Harry said sheepishly, "it was the 'Magic of Adoption'. I read the chapters that explained how and why someone might be adopted and the process of adoption but that was as far as I got. I haven't been able to find the book since that day."

"That is interesting. I'll help you look for it, since nobody will ask me what I want it for. If I can't find one, I'll buy a copy of it for you from Flourish and Blotts."

"Thanks for helping me look for it. I don't understand where it could be, you, me and Professors Dumbledore and Snape are the only ones in the castle. And I can't imagine either Professor Snape or the headmaster needing information in that book. Um, was that all you had to say about me being adopted?" At Remus's look, Harry went on to explain, "The question about the appearance charms? I was trying to watch you as you read the letter from Sirius, and I thought that I saw surprise, sadness, shock, hurt, ange..." Harry's voice trailed off, as he noticed that Remus hadn't moved since he started talking again, "maybe I was wrong..."

"No, you're right, Harry." Harry's heart did a dive, similar to the one it did on his broomstick to get Malfoy to follow in a Wronski Feint, he had so hoped that he was wrong in what he saw, and that Moony would still be there for him like he said he would. "I was surprised that Lily's baby was born in May. Sadness because of Jasmyn dying, I wished my friends didn't go through that, losing a child must be one of the most difficult things imaginable. Shock because you looked so much like James, no one would ever have guessed that you were adopted. And hurt, anger, and disappointment that my friends felt or thought that they couldn't share this information with me or with anyone else. However, none of this has any anything to do with how I feel towards you. I'll stick by my pledge as a Marauder; I'll always be there for you, no matter what."

Once more, Harry felt the desire to hug Remus to thank him for his words, but this time, he didn't let his fear of rejection keep him back. He got up, walked over to where Moony was sitting, wrapped his arms around him and whispered "Thanks."

Harry decided to eat dinner in his room to think about the conversation he had with Moony and to read Moony's letter from Sirius. Harry laughed at how Sirius didn't even know about the prophecy but told Remus that he had more going on than Voldemort and Sirius's death. Harry couldn't imagine what Sirius would say about the prophecy, probably something similar to what Moony said.

Harry was amazed that Moony lasted this long without asking Harry about his letter. It certainly explains why he kept following him around asking if he was okay and if he needed to talk. Someday, he would have to tell Moony how he was tempted to ask Moony if he was okay, since he couldn't seem to leave Harry alone.

After Harry finished the letter, he wondered why Moony didn't mention the second letter that Sirius addressed to Harry and entrusted into Remus's care. He'll have to ask Moony about it at breakfast, and with that thought, Harry fell asleep.

The next morning during breakfast, Harry gave Moony back his letter and quietly asked him why he didn't mention the other letter that Sirius entrusted to his care. Harry still did not want Dumbledore to find out about the adoption.

"What?" Remus asked with a blank look on his face, before looking down at the letter in his hands. "Oh, I must have forgotten, I was so focused on the contents of your letter that I wasn't thinking about it. I will bring it by your room later."

With that, Remus rushed out of the great hall, before finishing his breakfast, and down the hallways to his room.

After Remus left, Harry just looked at his back before shrugging and going back to his breakfast. Dumbledore started asking Harry how he was doing in occlumency and what he and his friends were planning to do when they arrived on Wednesday. Harry was just about to tell Dumbledore about the progress he made due to Hermione's gift, when a large black bird, over 22 cm in height with a diamond shaped tail, and a package tied around its neck flew in the window and landed in front of Dumbledore.

"What is that?" Harry asked, looking at the completely black bird, and ignoring the look the bird gave him for being referred to so rudely.

"This is Raven. He is Severus's raven that he uses when he is away from the school. And I believe this is Remus' Wolfsbane Potion." Dumbledore replied as he took the package from Raven's neck.

"Raven, real original on the name Professor Snape," Harry mumbled, not noticing a second glare from Raven, for his comment on his name.

"Dobby," called Dumbledore.

"Yes sir, headmaster, sir," said Dobby, appearing with a 'pop'.

"Dobby, Severus has just delivered Remus' potion for the full moon. Please give the potion to Remus tonight and be sure he takes the potion and gets plenty of rest."

"Yes, sir, headmaster, sir. Dobby will do as Professor Dumbledore says. Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape can rely on Dobby to do this sir."

"Thank you, Dobby, I know we can." Albus said as Dobby disappeared and Raven flew out of the great hall.

"Sir, why doesn't Professor Snape use an owl like most wizards?"

"Raven's are remarkable birds, Harry. They are known for their intelligence and are capable of learning innovative solutions to new problems. Ravens can walk on the ground, or fly, and they often glide or soar. They are actually very skillful flyers, often diving, flying upside down, and performing somersaults or other tricks. I have often thought that a raven would make a great seeker, since it flies so well. They communicate with physical displays of either threat or appeasement to subordinate or dominant ravens. I think Severus and Raven have a lot in common, especially with Severus's penchant for wearing all black, but whether or not that is why Severus uses a raven instead of an owl, is something you will have to ask him."

"Um, maybe not." Harry stated before finishing his breakfast and leaving the great hall.

Once inside, he quickly started searching his rooms, looking for the other letter. He couldn't believe that of all the times he read his letter from Sirius that he never thought about that second letter to Harry. He was too busy trying to figure out what was going on with Harry so that he could 'help' him.

'Well, this is a good way to help Harry,' Remus thought, 'lose the other letter from his godfather. That might be the only way Harry will get information about his birth family. Great start to being a substitute godfather, no wonder Lily and James didn't want you for the 'job'.'

Remus was ready to give up. He had spent all day in his rooms looking for that letter, he looked the muggle way, moving every piece of furniture, well okay, he moved the furniture with magic, but actually looked for the letter on his hands and knees. He tried summoning spells, locater spells, and even revealing spells, just in case it was hidden or disguised as something else. Nothing worked. It appeared that the letter wasn't anywhere in his rooms. He might just have to tell Harry that he couldn't find the second letter. Remus cringed inside; he didn't want to let Harry down like this. After he kept telling the boy that he would always be there for him, he goes and loses this letter. Remus decided to do one last thorough sweep of his rooms before he decides what to tell Harry.

"Mister Lupin, what is Mister Lupin doing up? Mister Lupin needs to take his potion and get some rest. Dobby promised Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Snape that Dobby will make sure Mister Lupin takes potion and gets enough rest for full moon."

"I can't Dobby, I need to find Harry's letter."

"Dobby knows where Mister Harry's letter is."

"What! You do?"

"Yes sir, Mister Lupin, sir. Dobby find Mister Harry Potter's letter on floor when cleaning Mister Lupin's rooms. Dobby take letter and keep it nice and safe for Mister Harry."

"Oh, thank Merlin! Thank you, Dobby. Can I have the letter back now?"

"No, sir, sorry sir. Dobby can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because letter is not yours. Letter is for Mister Harry Potter, sir."

"Yes, Dobby, I know that. I am to give the letter to Harry."

"No, sir. Harry Potter is not to have letter yet, sir."

"Why not? You said it was his."

"Yes, sir, it is Mister Harry Potter's letter. But Harry Potter is not to have letter until he is ready."

"Yes, I know, but he is ready now."

"No sir, he is not sir."

"How do you know he is not ready?"

"Because Mister Black say when Harry Potter is ready, Harry Potter will tell you about his first letter."

"Harry told me ab...Wait, How do you know that that letter is from Sirius?"

"Harry Potter did not tell you about first letter because he was ready. Harry Potter told you about letter because you ask. Dobby knows this. Harry Potter is not ready."

"But how do you know that he's not ready, and how do you know that the letter was from Sirius?"

"Dobby just knows sir. House elves, we know things sir, more so than wizards. Oh, that bad thing for Dobby to say, Dobby shouldn't have said that. Dobby needs to go now and punish Dobby for saying that."

"No! Dobby, wait." Remus tried to catch the house elf before he disappeared but it was too late.

At least he knew where the letter was, Remus thought as he took his potion, and that it was well protected in Dobby's hands. He will just have to check with Dobby once he was recovered from the full moon and make sure that Harry got his letter. With that thought, he fell into his bed, the exhaustion from the coming moon and the physical exertion of looking for the letter, taking its toll.

Tuesday passed pretty quickly, with just Harry and Dumbledore around the castle that day. Harry spent most of the day deciding if he wanted to tell Ron and Hermione about the adoption now. He decided to wait until he reads the other letter from Sirius, first. He wondered what was in that letter. If he knew there was another letter, Harry would've told Remus weeks ago about the adoption. Now he just wished that the full moon would be over with so that he can get that letter from him. Realizing that he was slowly driving himself crazy wondering about the contents of that letter, Harry decided to head back to the library and see if "Magic of Adoption" had appeared yet. He still couldn't figure out where that book went. Why would Snape or Dumbledore need a book on adoption?

Since Ron and Hermione were coming to celebrate his birthday with him tomorrow, he decided to forego his tradition of staying up till midnight to open up his birthday presents and cards, and instead decided to go to sleep early since most likely he would not get much sleep tomorrow night with his best friends staying at the castle.

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End Chapter 14 he's not ready

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This is my first fanfic, so any feedback is appreciated. Please Rest & Relax, I mean Read & Review, and then you can relax...

Thanks Black Padfoot, my beta!

RAVEN INFORMATION: Berg, R. and T. Dewey. 1999. "Corvus corax" (On-line), Animal Diversity Web. Accessed October 16, 2004 at http:animaldiversity. ummz. umich. edu/site/accounts/information/Corvuscorax. html. AND www. birdguides. Com (remove spaces)

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